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RE: Can you safeword? - 3/28/2008 11:57:26 PM

SirsPetAdrina

Posts: 1731
Joined: 3/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35
Have you ever been in a position where you wanted to safeword but for some reason could not?

Matt's littleone

yes i have and its mostly due to i either end up going in to subspace and cant move or talk good enough to safeword or i end up having flashbacks to my ex stepfather sexually abusing me and i totally lock up and become numb to the situation. the only bad thing with the second one is when i come out of it a break down or get really pissed because it wasnt picked up on that i wasnt there and able to do anything. its happened before and probably will happen again till i can gain control and not have to worry about it.

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RE: Can you safeword? - 3/29/2008 2:21:15 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
this slave's apologies if you only wanted responses with regards to a BDSM scene, or play.

I am glad you shared this, as it reflects the world outside of "play." And I hope you are doing well.

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Post #: 22

RE: Can you safeword? - 3/29/2008 3:04:01 AM

BBWnNC72

Posts: 1155
Joined: 6/22/2007
From: NC since Jan of 2007, but born and raised in Cali
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When i was so very new, still had that new subbie smell. i went on a play date. We had talked about what was going to happen.
He changed the game in the middle, after He had me tied, gagged, and blindfolded. While He was beating the hell out of my breasts, i so wanted to safe word, anything, but had no way of communicating. But in reality, i don't think it would have mattered with Him anyways.
my Dominant, who became my trainer shortly after the incident, insisted on safewords, safe touches. Never have had to use them so far with Him, but He is so intuned with me. But they are still allowed.

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a.k.a. "greedy monkey"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
i am who i am, i am not ashamed. spank me, beat me, bite me, pull my hair, dominate me, control me, but always respect me for who i am.

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Post #: 23

RE: Can you safeword? - 3/29/2008 4:35:07 AM

adoracat

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Joined: 2/16/2007
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Daddy would punish me if i *didnt* safeword when i was in trouble. i've had to twice...once i was having difficulty breathing, the other time something he did sent me into panic. what was amusing to him at the second situation, is that after i was untied, i immediately pressed myself to his chest and clung to him.

it was amusing to him because he was the (inadvertent) cause of the panicky feelings, but at the same time, he was also the comfort. he didnt tell me he was amused by my actions till the situation was straightened out though.

he says its his job to keep me safe. and if i dont indicate i am in trouble, how can he keep me safe? i think the only time it is an issue is when i get to space, and i literally cant speak....and he asks me to say if i'm ok!!

new protocal on that issue is that i can nod my head and that counts as a good answer.

kitten

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Post #: 24

RE: Can you safeword? - 3/29/2008 6:10:09 AM

StormsSlave

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Joined: 2/6/2008
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My Lord and I did not have clear, communicated safewords in place, which caused my emotional safety to be compromised during a session. We have since discussed it, and in fact, he has pushed me to use the safewords during "practice" sessions so that I am more likely to use them if the need arises. Had he known we had crossed boundaries, we could have stopped and a lot of pain and unhappiness been avoided. However, it was an outstanding learning experience for both of us, and trust has been restored.

I have not used them outside of training since. He has been EXTREMELY careful, taking our path much more carefully, and I have learned to be much more assertive in my needs. Safewords don't mean you don't trust your dom...they just give you the certainty of knowing that should a need arise, the communication is set up in advance.

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Post #: 25

RE: Can you safeword? - 3/29/2008 8:49:48 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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I have not safeworded, but I have stopped a scene. I guess it's the same thing, except, well...I had something large in my mouth, and I couldn't breathe, so, I really couldn't safeword. (No, it's not what you think. But close.)

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Post #: 26

RE: Can you safeword? - 3/29/2008 9:32:17 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
You realize you just got yourself entry into the wacky wafer club with that statement.

LOL is it a vanilla wafer? Ironically those are my favorite :)

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RE: Can you safeword? - 3/29/2008 10:44:42 AM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
You realize you just got yourself entry into the wacky wafer club with that statement.

LOL is it a vanilla wafer? Ironically those are my favorite :)

LOL here in the world of mental instability, it can be any flavor you want it to be!!

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Post #: 28

RE: Can you safeword? - 3/29/2008 12:16:14 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
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Master and i have a safe word i really don't think i will ever have to use it, but Master wanted me to have one just in case. We have been together 2 years and i have never used it once.

Matt's littleone

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Post #: 29

RE: Can you safeword? - 3/29/2008 12:26:56 PM

littlebitxxx

Posts: 732
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I have safeworded once - the scene started out badly and went quickly downhill. I got a very bad feeling from the beginning and only stuck it out for a little while before calling a halt. Turns out it was a good thing to do coz he was in a weird frame of mind that night, not quite himself but didn't realize the extent of it. We talked afterward and got it all straightened out.

There are times when I almost got to the point of stopping but had a fierce talk with myself. "You asked for this, you've been anticipating it all day and now what the hell's wrong with you? Just shut up and feel it instead of thinking it, ya stupid bitch." It worked, I was able to relax and turn it into a very enjoyable beating.

And there was one time, recently, that scared me at the time but thinking it through afterward just made me more confident in myself and trusting in my man. I didn't know how the scene would go in terms of my reactions but he had asked me to take his pain. I didn't fly, I didn't even relax into subspace at all, it was straight pain and a bunch of it. Knowing I could safeword but having given my word that I would take it caused quite an argument in my head. The fact that he reached a new level of sadism that night was the only reason I stood still and took it, I could feel him fly off into a different enjoyment from previously and wanted him to go with it. So the little voice started up again, an argument ensued and I just turned into what I call "robo-mode", reaching a point where I could feel the pain and just ignored it. The song "Can't Touch This" comes to mind. I turned off all sensibility and reached a place that couldn't be touched, not flying with orgasmic enjoyment of the beating, but just taking it like a suit of armour.

Talking about that afterward scared me. Just how far will I go for someone else now knowing I can? And he also now realizes that he's going to have to watch even closer to prevent us going too far. Another level of trust reached for both of us.

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The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

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RE: Can you safeword? - 3/29/2008 1:06:38 PM

aphrodite5

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Joined: 8/5/2007
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Have I ever wanted to and couldn't? No. But I often want to and simply do not do so. I'm a wimp, but I always convince myself to stick it out. Especially since my safeword usage usually means "I know where you sleep. If you want to live to see tomorrow, you need to stop right now." I've only used it once. It's a weird feeling to be in a situation beyond masochism, beyond submission, and right on into pissed off.

I have been in situations with Daddy where I didn't have the option of "tapping out." Once for a punishment, and once because we hadn't thought to set up a signal for when my mouth was occupied. But I wouldn't have used it in those situations anyway, so it doesn't matter.

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RE: Can you safeword? - 3/29/2008 1:16:06 PM

OnlyMels

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I have a problem with it. Lucky for me my Daddy can judge when to stop. I tend to go somewhere and forget about what my safe word even is. Interesting to see there its not really that unusual.

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RE: Can you safeword? - 3/29/2008 6:33:34 PM

CdnExplorer

Posts: 227
Joined: 2/12/2007
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I'm not really sure I could. I've had one play experience where the intensity of the pain from the beating was getting to the point where I sort wanted to slow down or get a short breather, but I really struggled with the concept of saying yellow. The thing is a big part of what I get out of this is feeling helpless, so the concept of "making" her slow down was not only difficult but really messed with my headspace in the moment.

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Post #: 33