RE: Terms of adress

RE: Terms of adress (Full Version)

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MzBerlin -> RE: Terms of adress (7/25/2004 11:17:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sinergy quote: If He Who Must Not Be Named was Master He Who Must Not Be Named, I would probably just call him HWMNBN. It's about simplicity for me. Part of your collaring ceremony would probably include instructions that it is now appropriate for you to add an M. HWMNBN would morph into MHWMNBN. It is all about High Proticle to me. Duh. Just my opinion, could be wrong, but there you go. Sinergy You're EVIL, Sin- Giving HWMNBN ideas like that!! I think that our if collaring ceremony takes place that it will involve a lot of heat and burnt flesh. He doesn't need any more ideas!! [8D] As Always Berlin PS-WE NEED MORE EMOTICONS. I WANT YAHOO EMOTICONS (done with rant)

Sinergy -> RE: Terms of adress (7/26/2004 9:19:58 AM)
quote: You're EVIL, Sin- Giving HWMNBN ideas like that!! I think that our if collaring ceremony takes place that it will involve a lot of heat and burnt flesh. He doesn't need any more ideas!! As Always Berlin Hello Berlin, Thank you for the lovely compliment. Evil is something I strive to be. I suspect that HWMNBN would disagree that he doesnt need any more ideas. He sounds like the sort of person who reads avidly and is always looking for new ideas and interested in the expansion of his mind. You say heat and burnt flesh like it is a bad thing. Sinergy

Clay1 -> RE: D/s Wannabe and what to look for (7/26/2004 6:41:17 PM)
I must say, Ms. Kiki, this post made me SO much better about being honest with a potential mistress. I hopefully will not wear my heart on my shoulder when learning to trust her, but i will want and need to express my feelings, limits, etc., as she will hers. Thank you [:)] ~Clay~

kiki blue -> RE: D/s Wannabe and what to look for (7/27/2004 5:26:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Clay1 I must say, Ms. Kiki, this post made me SO much better about being honest with a potential mistress. I hopefully will not wear my heart on my shoulder when learning to trust her, but i will want and need to express my feelings, limits, etc., as she will hers. Glad you liked it Clay :) And kiki or Denise is fine. I answer to most things.

Sinergy -> RE: D/s Wannabe and what to look for (7/27/2004 4:50:43 PM)
quote: Berlins' backside stings already Is that a bad thing? Sinergy

Lawrence111 -> RE: D/s Wannabe and what to look for (8/8/2004 7:10:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wizcitrix quote: Ask your prospect if he's ever made any mistakes during a scene. If he says no, run for your life! If he says, very rarely, at least be suspicious. Everyone makes mistakes, even if they are experienced players. Sometimes submissives have Limits they don't even know about, and even the most careful and skilled Dom the world will trip over these occasionally. Remember, according to our good friends of the Christian faith, the last perfect guy to walk this planet got nailed to a tree for his trouble. So expect competence, but not miracles. Sorry to post 2 times so soon but this has me bugged. This is not at all true. There are exceptions to this rule (over all I like those rules). This one however personally affects me. There are usually two types of people who havn't made mistakes. The first one is someone who has been trained by a more experienced Dom/Master. If they were trained and shown exactly what to do and how to do it, they may have not ever made a mistake. Some people do have a natural ability to be a Dom/Master, just as some people can pick up a guitar and play it first time without ever having done so before. The other type of person is a person who grew up in a society or subculture, or was otherwise raised from birth to be a Dom. These people have learned from a very young age exactly how it is and is not done. They lived it, breathed it, feared it, and many more things I can't describe in words. More and more as more and more lifestylers appear you meet young adults who were introduced at ages usually as young as 10 to 13. These people have a firm grasp and understanding of the lifestyle. Most of them have witnessed it first and second hand from parents or other close relatives/friends. These people are not to be feared (except the subcultural ones) or counted out. As I said in my previous posting, before accusing find out why they don't fit into the "rules". quote: wizcitrix I don't concur. First of all, mistakes can and do happen. You do something long enough, you are bound to make an error here and there. A person with good charactor would admit, "Yes, I have made mistakes, but I have learned from them." Secondly is the issue of the statement, "I'm 25 and I have 10 years of experience." I have not met anyone who was formally introduced to it at 10 or 15 years of age. No one (family or not) would have started training someone at that age. To say that someone (family or not) got them started with this at that age ... deserves more questioning because one is still a child at at that age. Who would expose a child to 'the lifestyle' ... especially if it involves sex ? When I was that age, and while sex had been explained to me, I certainly didn't want to know what my parents were doing sexually. (It was a big enough shock to accept "They had to do that so that I could be born? Euuuu ..." LOL) Rather, I can accept that what someone means to say is, "While at the time I didn't know what they represented, I became aware of these feelings at age 10." That's understandable. But to be formally exposed to it at age 10? Highly unlikely. My children are 16 and 17 repectively. I believe that they know nothing of my interests, and they won't until they get older and until I feel that they are adult enough to understand it. So, while I would accept that someone's interest in things BDSM may have started at a young age (hell, I was 5 or 6 when I became aware), I would really question someone who claims to have begun formalized training at that age. Sincerely, Lawrence Ithaca, NY

SherriA -> RE: D/s Wannabe and what to look for (8/8/2004 7:26:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lawrence111 Secondly is the issue of the statement, "I'm 25 and I have 10 years of experience." I'm 36, and I have 20 years of experience. shrug That's simply the facts, whether anyone else approves or not. I started doing SM when I was 16 years old, and I was actively looking for it for a couple of years prior to that. quote: I have not met anyone who was formally introduced to it at 10 or 15 years of age. No one (family or not) would have started training someone at that age. I don't think I've ever been "formally" introduced to any of it, ever, nor have I ever been "trained". Friends have been kind enough to share their skills with me, and I'm always learning, but it's not necessarily (or usually) a formal thing. quote: To say that someone (family or not) got them started with this at that age ... deserves more questioning because one is still a child at at that age. Who would expose a child to 'the lifestyle' ... especially if it involves sex ? I was having sex when I was 14, and I certainly wasn't an "early bloomer" in my peer group. And in my family sex wasn't something dirty or hidden. It wasn't shameful or bad. It was something that was talked about pretty openly, as long as I can remember. quote: So, while I would accept that someone's interest in things BDSM may have started at a young age (hell, I was 5 or 6 when I became aware), I would really question someone who claims to have begun formalized training at that age. I think you're confusing "experience" with "formalized training". In my eyes they're two different things. Experience is gained by doing. Formalized training is something else altogether - it's doing under the guidance and oversight of someone with more experience and skill. You can have experience without formalized training, not just in BDSM but in lots of things. For example, I have experience as an administrative assistant, but I've had no formal training in that field.

perverseangelic -> RE: D/s Wannabe and what to look for (8/8/2004 9:31:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SherriA quote: ORIGINAL: Lawrence111 Secondly is the issue of the statement, "I'm 25 and I have 10 years of experience." I'm 36, and I have 20 years of experience. shrug That's simply the facts, whether anyone else approves or not. I started doing SM when I was 16 years old, and I was actively looking for it for a couple of years prior to that. Heck, I'm 21 and a half and have five years of experience :) quote: I have not met anyone who was formally introduced to it at 10 or 15 years of age. No one (family or not) would have started training someone at that age. I became active in s&m at sixteen. I was not sexually active till I was 19, however by that point I had been -very- deeply invovled in S&M relationships. I might not be typical, but it happens. I was with dominant partners who were my age at the time, having no interest in people far beyond me in age. We learned together. We were both very much beginers, but he was also very much a dominant personality. quote: To say that someone (family or not) got them started with this at that age ... deserves more questioning because one is still a child at at that age. Who would expose a child to 'the lifestyle' ... especially if it involves sex ? Other children, perhaps? As I said, I wasn't sexually active, because I wasn't ready. I -was- ready for BDSM type contact, and so were others of my age. One does not have to be involved with older partners to be active. quote: quote: So, while I would accept that someone's interest in things BDSM may have started at a young age (hell, I was 5 or 6 when I became aware), I would really question someone who claims to have begun formalized training at that age. I think you're confusing "experience" with "formalized training". In my eyes they're two different things. Experience is gained by doing. Formalized training is something else altogether - it's doing under the guidance and oversight of someone with more experience and skill. You can have experience without formalized training, not just in BDSM but in lots of things. For example, I have experience as an administrative assistant, but I've had no formal training in that field. What she said. I personally have no desire to every be "formally trained" as everyone who has ever said that to me has be totally uncompatable. I have been in training, I have been trained, as my partners saw fit and enjoyed. My partners themselves, often, were new to what they were doing. At 16 or 17 they didn't know everything, but they most -definatly- experienced a power-exchange relationship with me.

baileythorne -> RE: D/s Wannabe and what to look for (8/9/2004 12:22:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lawrence111 I have not met anyone who was formally introduced to it at 10 or 15 years of age. No one (family or not) would have started training someone at that age. To say that someone (family or not) got them started with this at that age ... deserves more questioning because one is still a child at at that age. Who would expose a child to 'the lifestyle' ... especially if it involves sex ? Lawrence111, I recently dated a man who began in the lifestyle at a very young age. Probably 11 or 12. His mother was a prodomme. Yes, this "introduction" included sexual acts. My belief is that she should be shot, but he is now 40+ and still voluntarily in the lifestyle and still involved with his mother. I never met her. It would have been ugly and he knew that. Oddly, he told me that when he went through his rebellious phase, he married a vanilla woman, told her his mother was dead, and broke off contact for over 4 years. When he realized he was unhappy and missed the lifestyle, he divorced the vanilla wife and re-established his relationship with his mother. I met him on bondage.com. I dated him for just shy of a year. He was a very screwed up individual. Turns out there was a second wife. He was currently married to her. This was after I asked him if he was single and available before I ever met him. Sigh. So (1) people exist who started that early. Some are taught by adults. They can be very skilled tops. (2) I'd be leery of getting involved with anyone who got their start this way based on my personal experience. He learned more that BDSM skills, he learned to lie and deceive to get his "fix". --bailey

pervslave -> RE: D/s Wannabe and what to look for (10/14/2004 9:38:17 AM)
Wannabes are pretty apparent after sometime Mistress, they will not follow the rules fully is the main part in finding fakes.

Nvernilla -> RE: D/s Wannabe and what to look for (10/14/2004 6:21:57 PM)
Well I agree about the importance of safety but as for the wannabe tag; both the subject and the source need to be assessed before you reach a decision on that, Some people throw the wannabe label around in anger when it has no base in fact........Mike

angelpet -> RE: D/s Wannabe and what to look for (10/23/2004 7:15:01 PM)
I know there are a lot of posts in regards to the topic. What I tell anyone new is "Do nothing in the name of BDSM that you would not normally do when easing into a situation." That means if you would not normally have sex on a first meet then DON'T do it because someone claims dominance over you. It is stupid that because someone gives themselves a title it should change the way you interact with them. I met a sub in a chatroom who met a dom 3 times for a total of 16 hrs. she said she was now collared to him and needed to get her financial affairs together to turn them over to him. I was totally floored. I asked her how often she went to the supermarket and did she usually see the same check out person and bagger. She said she was there at least twice a week and has been shopping at the same place for almost ten years. I asked if she would turn over her finances to either person at the store. She said no that she did not know them. I pointed out that she probably knew them more then the dom, who by the way lives in another state. common sense is not so common angel

millimon -> RE: D/s Wannabe and what to look for (10/24/2004 12:25:25 AM)
Awesome response Kiki, I can't say it better. Many of the complaints about wanna-be Dom/Dommes are exact reversals of the problems I've seen with wanna-be subs. It all depends on knowing the person, knowing youself, and communication. I'm shocked at the number of men and women who actually expect me to start 'dom'ing right away, over the internet, and on first meeting, who want money, and have various other expectations that they haven't spoken of. I've had several "subs" tell me I'm 'not a Dom' because I wasn't rude to them or didn't try to rape them right in the Mall food court. What kind of Dom would that be? An arrested one maybe. I can vouch for this side of the street too, I've gotten flack from other Dom's for not being what they expected. Hello? I think there is a widespread general misunderstanding about Domination and submission. I don't want to be anyone's Electra complex or engage in an Oedipal affair. I'm also not a sugar daddy. Hell, if I WAS a sugar daddy, It'd be for a six foot tall chinese-valkyrie warrior with hair down to the ground and green eyes. It certainly wouldn't be for the majority of whom I see on the internet. If I was going to PAY, I'd not be looking in yahoo chat rooms, I'd be on the mail-bride flight to Beijing. ;) <.note>tongue firmly in cheek here.</.note> The D/s relationship is like any other. It requires work. .02, and thanks!

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