RE: Why??

RE: Why?? (Full Version)

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lusciouslips19 -> RE: Why?? (3/30/2008 12:36:31 PM)
darkMaster, I think it was the negativity of your original post that got everyone in an uproar. Also coming here to complain about subs on CM being rude and ignorant. Its like you were calling us rude and ignorant. So if you want to ask a question coming for answers its best to lose the chip on the shoulders.

domahpet -> RE: Why?? (3/30/2008 12:37:50 PM)
he was calling us rude and ignorant and witches with menapause and assholes and whatever you say buddy- to mod11 ok, ill ask 100 times and run around the block 100 more to get an answer that makes sense (to me) from her, but i wouldnt come straight up in her face like that. shes in charge here, if i wanna learn about CM, its gonna come from her no? same, if i wanna learn from anyone else, are you gonna be willing to teach me anything if my question is backed up with me saying your a bunch of ignorant witches? 'My sn was "TheDarkness" ' i knew it was familiar.

hydranmenace -> RE: Why?? (3/30/2008 1:03:55 PM)
Maybe this seems like a strange question, but I don't understand something. What is the point to going through the trouble of meeting "the right one" just to break her down and make her something else? You could do that with anyone, regardless of interests, commonality, etc. Anyway, on to the topic actually at hand. From what I've seen, subs like men who are firm, strong willed, self controlled and confident. These are of course generalizations and don't reflect interests that descend into minutiae specific to the individual. Personally I've found that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance, a strong will and being a jerk, firmness and being overbearing. In real life you often see very nice women with men who are quite the bastard. Its the age old "nice guys lose" cliche. Some of MasterDarks responses have seemed to me to have the feel of overcompensating in an attempt to look or seem stronger. In attempting to communicate firmness and strength, he is instead communicating arrogance and overbearingness. He is crossing unintentionally i think, possibly due to a lack of experience, maybe something else, the line between being a Dom and being a jerk. He doesn't want to be perceived as being weak so he goes the other direction trying to appear strong and confident, but over does it. This im gathering from when he said something like "people came out swinging so i swung back" and the like. Retaliating in kind and trying to "stand his ground" as he said. There is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself, and indeed you should. You just need the right tools for the right job, and know how and where to pick your battles. You might be demonstrating more strength and confidence by letting the little irritating remarks go and focus on the main premise of your original post. Keep yourself focused. That i think is part of where you are getting these "master yourself first" comments. You present yourself as someone who does not have a lot of self control when you take such offense at small teases and comments that in the end don't matter, and then go on to quote and reply to each of them. Its unnecessary and makes you appear weaker, rather than confident and self controlled. Don't take this as me calling you names, or attacking you. That isn't my intent with this. Im telling you what i perceive and it is all based in opinion, the quotes of others whom i could very easily have misunderstood, the limits of text communication, and i admit im making a lot of assumptions about what subs like to see. I could be wrong. I'm generally not, but it happens.

Hippiekinkster -> RE: Why?? (3/30/2008 1:27:43 PM)
Hydranmenace: "Maybe this seems like a strange question, but I don't understand something. What is the point to going through the trouble of meeting "the right one" just to break her down and make her something else? You could do that with anyone, regardless of interests, commonality, etc." No shit. Well, so much of all this "D/s M/s" B/s is just roleplay anyway. That's why I don't take any of the posturing seriously. Safety and technique, yes; some good info. But the people who get into it so they can be part of some "outlaw" segment of society, with their brand new leather vests and 3-toed Slothskin floggers, well, it reminds me of nothing so much as a Star-Trekker scene for kinky people. And the "breaking down", well, hah. There's always a door to walk through. Any "change" is self-imposed and directed, as there is always the choice to leave/stop. I'm looking for a life-partner who comes with the compatability built-in. I don't want to "train" or "break" or "guide" anyone. I want her to hit the ground running. I tell her what needs to get accomplished, it gets accomplished. A partner, not an automaton. I have enough toys. I need someone to help me maintain them. All my opinion, of course. I know it's heretical, but I never was much on following the trendoids.

MasterDark1987 -> RE: Why?? (3/30/2008 3:05:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hydranmenace Maybe this seems like a strange question, but I don't understand something. What is the point to going through the trouble of meeting "the right one" just to break her down and make her something else? You could do that with anyone, regardless of interests, commonality, etc. Why on earth would I break someone close to me down? thats the complete opposite of what I do and who I am. On the other stuff you wrote I've noticed you are very extroverted, but one thing I like that I never see is that you don't enforce you're opinions and assumptions as concrete facts like everyone else does. People who have a close mind will always be the dumbest people in the world because they stop learning and in a changing world like ours, once you stop learning you fall behind. but thats just my observation of other people in this lifestyle.

Gemini1766 -> RE: Why?? (3/30/2008 3:09:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wantoplease The only thing i can say about cm..is I made a couple of really good Dom Friends...but as far as finding a Dom/Master...the emotional ride is to much for me..they either want to break you down completely and rebuild you...or lie and bs you..and forget about builidng trust...and if you are a sub..you are considered weak because you are not a slave that gives up all her rights...where did the true meaning of the lifestyle go.... I am glad to hear that you have made some good friends. I am sad to see you lump us all together into two groups. Further, you're wrong if you think we all think that being a slave or a sub makes one weak. Some VERY intelligent and strong people are submissive. There's nothing wrong with it.

MasterDark1987 -> RE: Why?? (3/30/2008 3:12:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domahpet he was calling us rude and ignorant and witches with menapause and assholes and whatever you say buddy- to mod11 ok, ill ask 100 times and run around the block 100 more to get an answer that makes sense (to me) from her, but i wouldnt come straight up in her face like that. shes in charge here, if i wanna learn about CM, its gonna come from her no? same, if i wanna learn from anyone else, are you gonna be willing to teach me anything if my question is backed up with me saying your a bunch of ignorant witches? 'My sn was "TheDarkness" ' i knew it was familiar. Yeah, you weren't that nice to me either. And I was calling hat people did rude and ignorant, I never called people themselves rude and ignorant. and the menopause and which thing came from mocking your age since everyone thinks its so funny to mock mine. oh, and btw you never looked at my older profile. I kept track of who veiwed my profile because in the one month span of it being up only two people ever took a look at it. You weren't one of them.

MasterDark1987 -> RE: Why?? (3/30/2008 3:14:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gemini1766 quote: ORIGINAL: wantoplease The only thing i can say about cm..is I made a couple of really good Dom Friends...but as far as finding a Dom/Master...the emotional ride is to much for me..they either want to break you down completely and rebuild you...or lie and bs you..and forget about builidng trust...and if you are a sub..you are considered weak because you are not a slave that gives up all her rights...where did the true meaning of the lifestyle go.... I am glad to hear that you have made some good friends. I am sad to see you lump us all together into two groups. Further, you're wrong if you think we all think that being a slave or a sub makes one weak. Some VERY intelligent and strong people are submissive. There's nothing wrong with it. Yeah, well those are other doms and masters. I don't try to break people down unless they try and break me down.

stef -> RE: Why?? (3/30/2008 3:22:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterDark1987 and the menopause and which thing came from mocking your age since everyone thinks its so funny to mock mine. You're probably not going to believe this because you have so much of your angst and vitriol invested in the idea, but it's not your age that is turning people off, it's your incredibly toxic attitude. quote: oh, and btw you never looked at my older profile. I kept track of who veiwed my profile because in the one month span of it being up only two people ever took a look at it. You weren't one of them. I wouldn't put money on that. She could have an alternate account to perv other people's profiles without making her identity known. People have discussed that here in the past. Also, it's possible to view a person's profile by typing their username in on the main CollarMe page and you get the 'short form' view of the profile and you won't end up on their "Who's Viewing Me" list. You won't see the demographic info or their interests, but you'll see their profile text and journal entries. ~stef

hydranmenace -> RE: Why?? (3/30/2008 3:35:51 PM)
MasterDark, my apologies. The question regarding breaking someone down was directed at another post, not anything you said.

domahpet -> RE: Why?? (3/30/2008 4:43:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterDark1987 Yeah, you weren't that nice to me either. And I was calling hat people did rude ( i dont even know what this means)and ignorant, I never called people themselves rude and ignorant. and the menopause and which thing came from mocking your age since everyone thinks its so funny to mock mine.( i can see why youd mock my age, since youre the same age as my oldest kid ;) she does it too lol ) oh, and btw you never looked at my older profile. I kept track of who veiwed my profile because in the one month span of it being up only two people ever took a look at it. You weren't one of them. so, youve tried twice and nothing has worked for you so far. what will you do next? i was trying to see your point like i did with someone on another thread. while him and i got thru our differences and found some common ground, i dont think thats going to happen here. i am going to keep reading tho, cause your kinda cute up there! [sm=soapbox.gif]

hydranmenace -> RE: Why?? (3/30/2008 7:15:51 PM)
quote: Why is it that so many slaves or subs on collar me who say they are "looking" never respond to messages people send them? It's extremely rude and quite frustrating, especially if you spend a lot of time typing something and it just gets ignored. Only on collar me do I encounter this kind of ignorance and I'm just really curious as to why this is?? I thought it might be beneficial to get back to the OPs original message? So it seems that there are a few reasons why this is. Firstly, subs on CM are generally overwhelmed with messages and it is simply impossible to respond to everyone. Secondly, people make snap decisions every day about other people. Everyone is judged by everyone else in one way or another, for better or for worse. In your case, your age works against you. All you can do is wait that out and keep gaining experience as you go along. Thirdly, whether you intended it or not, you seemed to have an attitude problem or as some put it "a chip on your shoulder". This is i think an issue of self control and maturity. It isn't that you lack either of these (well... maturity can = age, but there can be more to it), it's just that you should work on expanding them. Responding to insults won't accomplish anything, it doesn't solve anything for you, it just makes you appear more petty. I noticed you said you "spend a lot of time typing something and it just gets ignored". That is both a waste of time for you, and possibly part of why you are being ignored. As stated above, subs on here are overwhelmed with messages. Shorter, to the point intros are probably more likely to be read in full and replied to than longer messages. Save the longer stuff for later on, after she is aware of who you are (basic, short intro). Lastly, I am not in any way trying to get you thrown out of here or inviting you to leave, but if you really are only having this issue with CM, maybe CM is not where you want to be to meet people. No one is forcing you to stay here.

umisprite -> RE: Why?? (3/30/2008 7:58:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterDark1987 Why is it that so many slaves or subs on collar me who say they are "looking" never respond to messages people send them? It's extremely rude and quite frustrating, especially if you spend a lot of time typoing something and it just gets ignored. Only on collar me do I encounter this kind of ignorance and I'm just really curious as to why this is?? I can only give you my POV. I used to reply to every message I received on CM. Often it was just to say 'thanks but no thanks' because the sender had not read my profile and therefore had no idea if we had anything in common or not. Yes, it is possible to view someone's full profile without being logged in so the the viewer may not show up in your 'Who's Viewing Me' but so many times the messages I received indicated they had not even glanced at my profile. I now pose a question in the very beginning of my profile relating to something written in my journal. If the message sender does not answer that question I know he has not read my profile nor my journal. All I ask is that if someone is going to express an interest in me that they have a basic idea of who I am, what I have to offer and what I myself am looking for. If I receive a message without the answer to my question I don't respond. When someone does answer the question...what a smile it brings to my face! It shows me that someone has taken the time to find out what they can about me rather than just soliciting every 'NJ single female submissive'.

lostsoulskitten -> RE: Why?? (3/30/2008 8:00:55 PM)
We feel your pain. We get ignored all the time. We simply say "Hello" or "Nice profile" to a girl and they run away or just don't read the message or sometimes even delete their profile. So, it's like WTF?!

Stephann -> RE: Why?? (3/30/2008 11:28:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterDark1987 Why is it that so many slaves or subs on collar me who say they are "looking" never respond to messages people send them? It's extremely rude and quite frustrating, especiallyif you spend a lot of time typoing something and it just gets ignored. Only on collar me do I encounter this kind of ignorance and I'm just really curious as to why this is?? Dude, chances are if I were a female slave who got a message from you, I'd probably delete it too. There's barely any information in your profile about who you are. You have a grainy, webcam looking photo of your shoes. You're sitting in the bottom 25% of the pile of guys, where there are roughly four men for every woman here. There's two links in my signature on how to actually meet someone from this site. Do the homework in em, and try it again. Good luck, Stephan

GoddessTeaze -> RE: Why?? (3/30/2008 11:54:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterDark1987 Why is it that so many slaves or subs on collar me who say they are "looking" never respond to messages people send them? It's extremely rude and quite frustrating, especiallyif you spend a lot of time typoing something and it just gets ignored. Only on collar me do I encounter this kind of ignorance and I'm just really curious as to why this is?? Welcome to the Internet Jungle !! people can be whoever they want to be, for many it's a game, or a quick way to get off.. men who fake to be woman.. it's all possible online. It takes a deep long breath to find a true treasure, in between all of the rest of them, and then it would be nice if she would be close enough to You [:D] I wish You enough. GoddezzT`

Fischen -> RE: Why?? (3/31/2008 12:07:56 AM)
Fischen's Simple and Easy Approach to Finding Someone Decent a) Create a decent profile. b) Log in two or three times a day so your profile remains somewhere near the first five pages. c) Wait for them to write you. If your profile is halfway decent, and you even halfway match what they are looking for, they will write. If they don't, no amount of letter writing to them will stand out from the hundreds of letters they are already getting. Unless you are lucky, because it is almost ALWAYS better to be lucky than good. Fischen PS. I follow my own advice ... Yeah right ... -pecks away at his next letter-

parttimehotty -> RE: Why?? (3/31/2008 6:13:48 AM)
<sighing deeply> Here we go again. i'm guessing once you do start rec'ing message, you'll complain about the content (s).[sm=banghead.gif]

orfunboi -> RE: Why?? (3/31/2008 6:52:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stef quote: ORIGINAL: MasterDark1987 and the menopause and which thing came from mocking your age since everyone thinks its so funny to mock mine. You're probably not going to believe this because you have so much of your angst and vitriol invested in the idea, but it's not your age that is turning people off, it's your incredibly toxic attitude. ~stef [sm=applause.gif] [sm=applause.gif] [sm=applause.gif] [sm=applause.gif]

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Why?? (3/31/2008 7:36:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterDark1987 Why is it that so many slaves or subs on collar me who say they are "looking" never respond to messages people send them? you've only been here barely a week and complaining about this already? i think you have set a new CM record. where does it state in the rules/regulations here that submissives/slaves are required to respond to messages? like it was your choice to send messages to them, it's also the choice of the person who receives it whether or not they choose to reply back. you cannot force/make us respond back to you even if it says they're "looking" on the profile. mine clearly states "not currently looking" however that doesn't deter the senders from spamming my inbox/bulk mail with "on your knees now, black bitch" or "may i see you naked on cam please" requests. even after rejecting their requests, the "dominants" send nasty, rude messages back saying how i'm not a real submissive simply because i didn't obey them.

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