RE: Odd things...

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Maya2001 -> RE: Odd things... (3/29/2008 2:52:43 PM)
quote: I believe the ignorance that many subs show toward slaves, in part, stems from insecurity. They see it as some kind of subby competition and are afraid that a slave is more submissive, therefore rather than looking at what a slave IS they attack and write them off as 'having no brain' so as to devalue the competition. When the truth is that there is no competition, simply compatability. Very much off based as to why many subs are stating this in their profiles. if you read enough of the emails new women here receive, you would have a far better understanding of why the term slave become offensive, and realize it has absolutely nothing to do with competition It relates sadly more to the so called dominants that repeatedly email the females and treat them with total disrepect and assume that a slave equates to doormats that they can beat and bully around use and abuse and treat as subhumans starting right from their initial emails and there are a heck a lot of these types of doms out there, it is not unusual for a women to receive 3 or more insulting rude emails ... as a result this is why so many females come to the conclusions they do, it has a lot to do with fear and disgust by the way these so called doms define slave and the way they are treating the women in initial contacts

DesFIP -> RE: Odd things... (3/29/2008 4:30:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp quote: I believe the ignorance that many subs show toward slaves, in part, stems from insecurity. They see it as some kind of subby competition and are afraid that a slave is more submissive, therefore rather than looking at what a slave IS they attack and write them off as 'having no brain' so as to devalue the competition. When the truth is that there is no competition, simply compatability. There are many Doms out there that are very compatable with subs but wouldn't deal too well with the level of Dynamic of an M/s relationship. Horses for courses, and looking at it as some kind of competition is like compairing apples to oranges and asking which is better rather than accepting that some folks preffer apples so apples are 'better' for them and others perfer oranges. i found that to be very insightful...perhaps other will repond to that part of the OP. I've never heard a female sub say anything like this. But I have heard it from male doms. I'm curious as to the divide and wonder if it isnt related to the fact that men get off on cat fights?

CalifChick -> RE: Odd things... (3/29/2008 4:51:26 PM)
I remember once quite stubbornly telling someone, "I'll never be a slave"... said in that nose-in-the-air, derogatory manner. At that time, my idea of what a slave is, was based on things like the girl in the blog underhishand.com. Not the recent stuff, but the older stuff she has on there where there is some extreme objectification. Once I actually talked to more people, I found that my initial impression of what constituted a slave was an exception, not the norm. Cali

MistresssAria -> RE: Odd things... (3/29/2008 10:04:29 PM)
I like what a Dom friend of mine has in his profile - that he is looking to meet strong submissives and humble Dominants.

Kirren -> RE: Odd things... (3/29/2008 10:16:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Quadrum I need an oppinion about this. When i browse around collarme i see subs who say things like " i am a sub, NOT a slave i have a brain and tend to use it " Which translates to " slave don't have brains " Having a slave myself i though thats pretty insulting... Or am i wrong ? Next to that, i sometimes go to a local bdsm community and notice that some dom's are being dominant against other doms. Trying to boss them around. Which is naturally pretty insulting to the other dom. Do any of you people do this ? And please tell me, why ??? Im totally confused. I respect any other dom, i am very yough. But appereantly people think that the older you are the more " dom power " you have. Its then not about being dom or sub. Its all about power in its whole ? When I think of slave I think of some one that has no voice...they can speak, but only with the most....appropriate tone and inflection. I think thats where some people get the idea that slaves have no brain. Its sad really. Slaves have brains, they can use them. But they tend to be looked at in some communities as people that cant function with out some one that tells them what to do, which translates to some people as less than intelligent. Dont know why. And yes I can see that it would be insulting to the slave. I also happen to think that it takes a great deal more strength to be a slave that it does to be a sub. A slave has no choice, unless I have misread what I have been told, then to give in to the desires of another to feed their own desires. I dont know that I could do that, and I know of very few people that could do that. As for the Dom trying to out power another Dom...lol...welcome to the life honey, because that seems to be pretty common. Its sad. I dont know why. It seems the old guys would want the new guys to learn so they can carry on this life style. But from what I gather, and this is even among Domme's...its pretty competitive out there. I dont know why, I think statistics have been run around here some where stating that subs and slaves out number Dom/me's like three to one or something like that...could be wrong tho...wouldnt be the first time. Fact is some Doms think that because of how old they are or what have you that they do have more power and knowledge, and that every one else should just shut up and listen. Which is why D and I dont go to munches locally. We went to a few back in the day, and really, it was a constant pissing contest. Im personally not in that big of a hurry to get back into it. D is only 27, He has been in the life style for a while now...I think He related to Me once that He had His first experience when He was 16, but that it was more of a bondage type thing, and then it grew from there. All I can say is...you have two choices...join in the fray and fight for your place in the pack...or do what I tell D to do when He's having a hard time at work or anywhere else. Set yourself apart. Take the time to gain some knowledge and experience...maybe in one thing or another...if you like something better than another...be funny. Ignore the stupidity and enjoy the life style instead of looking for the assholes that ruin it for all of us. Youll find that youll be much happier. I mean in all honesty, and Ive said this before in a different post today..."Change a fools mind against his will and he will be of the same opinion still" and these guys, people know who they are...and they look at them like the assholes that they are...publically...Id rather be the young one that sits back and watches the other guys make a dick of themselves, than be the dick. Good luck.

Kirren -> RE: Odd things... (3/29/2008 10:18:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lunadancer what about the ones who sometimes feel they are caught in between being a sub and a slave? I think that the two over lap alot. I really do. Each one has a facet of the other. But I could be wrong. you shouldnt feel caught...just relish who you are and what you give to the One you love's life. Labels...bah...too much importance is put on them.

RavenMuse -> RE: Odd things... (3/30/2008 4:52:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Maya2001 quote: I believe the ignorance that many subs show toward slaves, in part, stems from insecurity. They see it as some kind of subby competition and are afraid that a slave is more submissive, therefore rather than looking at what a slave IS they attack and write them off as 'having no brain' so as to devalue the competition. When the truth is that there is no competition, simply compatability. Very much off based as to why many subs are stating this in their profiles. if you read enough of the emails new women here receive, you would have a far better understanding of why the term slave become offensive, and realize it has absolutely nothing to do with competition Sweetie I have read plenty such mails having owned a number of girls who have had profiles on here. Unfortunatly your 'argument' does not hold water, if I am offencive toward you why would you use that to attack someone else, no your argument and low opinion would be of Me not of another. dimdoms are inherently insulting with all the kneel bitch brigade crap and worse, that has nothing to do with what a slave is, it only has relivance to what a dim/HNG/troll is.

colouredin -> RE: Odd things... (3/30/2008 5:47:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Quadrum When i browse around collarme i see subs who say things like " i am a sub, NOT a slave i have a brain and tend to use it " Which translates to " slave don't have brains " Having a slave myself i though thats pretty insulting... Or am i wrong ? Yup tis insulting, but it comes from neumerous things firstly how other people talk, for example if i get a mail saying "hi slave" it tends to be the worst/most common type of troll who believe that a slave kneels to anything that calls itself a Dominant, which is a pile of crap. Also from some 'uber-slaves' that you talk to who seem to have zero personality and probably live in their own little fantasy world and actually have never left their room or are raving liers. Another problem is deifintions, each person thinks slave means a differant thing, I for example know a girl who calls herself a slave and is anything but, I refer to myself as a sub and people have told me (when we have been together out and about) that I am more like a slave in my motivations. But at the end of the day its the label that we feel happy with. She refers to herself as a slave because of her opinions of life and the value judgement that she makes about the word, others do it too. I am insulted by the fact that often slave is seen as more/better whatever than a sub its just the same thing and at the end of the day its a label and anyone who says things like that are quite clearly preoccupied by silly judgements and I wouldnt waste my time with them. The second part, well dont let them then,. age means nothing really its about charisma, some Dominants exude their dominant nature, its like people are compelled to respect them, I know a few like that, a lot of other Doms dont like them but they arent bossing people around its just who they are. If you are confident in yourself then you dont need to let those people bother you.

Lynnxz -> RE: Odd things... (3/30/2008 6:54:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RavenMuse quote: ORIGINAL: Maya2001 Very much off based as to why many subs are stating this in their profiles. if you read enough of the emails new women here receive, you would have a far better understanding of why the term slave become offensive, and realize it has absolutely nothing to do with competition Sweetie I have read plenty such mails having owned a number of girls who have had profiles on here. Unfortunatly your 'argument' does not hold water, if I am offencive toward you why would you use that to attack someone else, no your argument and low opinion would be of Me not of another. dimdoms are inherently insulting with all the kneel bitch brigade crap and worse, that has nothing to do with what a slave is, it only has relivance to what a dim/HNG/troll is. No... she's *exactly* right. I say I'm a sub because, one, I don't feel the need to submit completely 24/7, and two... it cuts down a little bit on the wanker emails demanding instant blowjobs from 400 miles away. At least, I think it might.. maybe just wishful thinking. You might want to re-read her post, I'm not sure you got exactly what she was saying. edited, because I cannot type.

RavenMuse -> RE: Odd things... (3/30/2008 7:26:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lynnxz No... she's *exactly* right. I say I'm a sub because, one, I don't feel the need to submit completely 24/7, and two... it cuts down a little bit on the wanker emails demanding instant blowjobs from 400 miles away. At least, I think it might.. maybe just wishful thinking. You might want to re-read her post, I'm not sure you got exactly what she was saying. edited, because I cannot type. I suggest you take your own advice and learn to read.... I wasn't refering to wether you where labled sub or slave but rather the reason why SOME subs insult slaves as 'having no brain' because they feel they are in some kind of competition with them rather than simply being different. The actions and words of idiot troll Dom-wannabes doesn't excuse such insults toward slaves.

colouredin -> RE: Odd things... (3/30/2008 7:42:57 AM)
People insult people normally out of fear due to ignorance, subs insult slaves, slaves insult subs, Doms insult Masters Masters insult Doms Doms insult Dommes (you getting my point) its simply because they are differant and people are shits.

Lynnxz -> RE: Odd things... (3/30/2008 7:51:14 AM)
"I suggest you take your own advice and learn to read...." I can... pretty well actually. Hurray for elementary school! "I wasn't refering to wether you where labled sub or slave" That wasn't the point of my post at all. I just threw it in there as an example. "but rather the reason why SOME subs insult slaves as 'having no brain'" It's not an insult towards slaves for me, it's a dom-deterent. It weeds out the guys that want silly doormats with boobs, which, by the way, is not the way I see a slave, it's how I see that guys fantasy. I would never actually post it in such a way that it is derrogatory towards a slave. It's more of "I have a brain, and don't feel like feeding your silly fantasy's via yahoo" "because they feel they are in some kind of competition with them rather than simply being different." I've never felt competitive with any bottom, regardless of how they choose to submit. Quite the opposite actually. "The actions and words of idiot troll Dom-wannabes doesn't excuse such insults toward slaves." Eh.. see above.. and refer back to Maya's post. It's just a way to attempt to weed out the wankers.

RavenMuse -> RE: Odd things... (3/30/2008 8:32:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lynnxz It's just a way to attempt to weed out the wankers. So your way of weeding out the trolls is to insult a large proportion of the comunity rather than simply addressing the trolls.... IMO that places you pretty close to troll behaviour yourself. It doesn't excuse your ignorance nor the insult.

Lynnxz -> RE: Odd things... (3/30/2008 8:33:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lynnxz I would never actually post it in such a way that it is derrogatory towards a slave. It's more of "I have a brain, and don't feel like feeding your silly fantasy's via yahoo"

RavenMuse -> RE: Odd things... (3/30/2008 8:35:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: colouredin People insult people normally out of fear due to ignorance, subs insult slaves, slaves insult subs, Doms insult Masters Masters insult Doms Doms insult Dommes (you getting my point) its simply because they are differant and people are shits. I wouldn't say people in general are 'shits' but rather that a large proportion are lazy, too lazy to find out the truth rather than simply dishing out generic insults out of ignorance.

RavenMuse -> RE: Odd things... (3/30/2008 8:38:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lynnxz quote: ORIGINAL: Lynnxz I would never actually post it in such a way that it is derrogatory towards a slave. It's more of "I have a brain, and don't feel like feeding your silly fantasy's via yahoo" Actions speak louder than words, even if you don't indulge in such yourself, you are here defending such behaviour and trying to 'excuse' the inexcusable by stating it as simply a way to weed out the trolls... which it wouldn't do anyhow.... most trolls don't bother reading the profile as is complained about at length often on these boards.

Lynnxz -> RE: Odd things... (3/30/2008 8:42:13 AM)
One, I'm not ignorant when it comes to this general area. Two, I was not excusing it, I was explaining it, which is what the OP was looking for. Three, this horse is dead... pokepoke and I should probably stop bothering it.

sirsholly -> RE: Odd things... (3/30/2008 8:46:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kirren quote: ORIGINAL: lunadancer what about the ones who sometimes feel they are caught in between being a sub and a slave? I think that the two over lap alot. I really do. Each one has a facet of the other. But I could be wrong. you shouldnt feel caught...just relish who you are and what you give to the One you love's life. Labels...bah...too much importance is put on them. i agree with this. I consider myself to be submissive with slave tendencies. Some would say there is no such animal...thats why i do not like labels.

colouredin -> RE: Odd things... (3/30/2008 9:08:50 AM)
There is such an animal, I went out hunting for them the other day, I saw one on top of the hill, it ran away before i could catch it :P

AMaster -> RE: Odd things... (3/30/2008 9:55:22 AM)
1- Many subs are intelligent- I'd say about the same percentage as any other walk of life. 2- Some DOM's feel that they have to assert themselves in all areas. You find this in the vanilla world, too. You also see this in the animal kingdom. 3- I SO SICK of the sub/slave debate. There is no good definition. In these endless threads you will find one who says she is a slave, not a sub because she is into certain aspects of BDSM. In the same thread another will say she is a sub, not a slave because she is into exactly the same things. If you feel you are a sub, you are one. If you believe you are a slave, you are one. ( The same goes for the DOM/Master arguments.)

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