RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt...

RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt... (Full Version)

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StormsSlave -> RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt... (3/29/2008 11:30:38 PM)
This is a fun thread! My Lord encourages my flirtatiousness since I am extremely selective (too many "wrong ideas" I think) and he likes it when I play. The funny thing is, when I really like a man, I get all tongue tied and weird. I've been trying to give my number to someone for weeks, but haven't found a good excuse. Other than, "Hey, I'd like it if you called sometime, so here's my number." I'm usually so forward and vocal, it's a situation I am truly at a lot how to handle. I, too, have found myself winding men up who get said "wrong idea." I figure, not my problem. I'm up front about who I am and what I want, and after that, their reaction is their problem. If they can't reign it in, maybe they should talk to a girl who is more shy and wallflower-ish. He flirts like breathing, so I don't take it personal. He's not going anywhere, My Lord tells me, and I figure if he leaves me for someone else, they both get what they deserve. [:D] If some girl gets the wrong idea, I'll be happy to tell her so. {dropping my two pennies in....}

eyesopened -> RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt... (3/30/2008 12:51:52 AM)
Is there a class i could take on flirting? i'm so bad at it that i've gotten to the point of being embarassed to make eye-contact with strangers. Not that my Master needs me to be a flirt but i've always been jealous of how easily others can do it. People often tell me it's natural but i'm like the world's worst clutz in the flirt department and it's not natural at all. Last time i tried to do the stuff i was told, the object of my flirt looked so disgusted before he turned away that i had to go check my teeth for spinach or something. If you can flirt and it doesn't hurt anyone be proud! It's like singing, some can others not so much and still others should never even pretend they can.

marieToo -> RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt... (3/30/2008 1:03:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chellekitty ... anyway...this got me to thinking...is there a level of flirty-ness acceptable for men vs women in this lifestyle? or is it submissives vs dominants? does single vs in a relationship make a difference? take care chelle If I'm involved with someone, I tone the flirting way down to almost nil. I feel like it's a dis to the dom I am involved with to flirt with other men, even if it's harmless. I don't expect the same in reciprocation however.

ownedgirlie -> RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt... (3/30/2008 1:13:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chellekitty i know i have my own views on the subject, but i would like to hear from others before i post them... take care chelle For me, flirting has sexual undertones whereas being charming does not (not necessarily, anyway). I used to flirt a lot, and had trouble defining boundaries as to just how far flirting should go. Now I feel it disrespects my Master to talk to another man flirtatiously. The idea of conversing with another man with sexual undertones, overtones, or any other tones feels inappropriate to me. I might flirt with my girlfriends from time to time, but it feels different to me - more innocent - and I know my Master is perfectly OK with that as well.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt... (3/30/2008 1:16:27 AM)
For me flirting goes into sticky territory when someone starts to take it seriously. And I do think the flirter takes some responsibility in trying to make sure everyone's clear that it's all in fun if that's what it reall it.

Prinsexx -> RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt... (3/30/2008 4:22:35 AM)
For the record: and to those of you who just seem to think a quick; you are fucked up or bullsht is going to be helpful.The slave minset is not represented here in the forums. If I gave the impression that being a slave was JUST about serving then it is not. It's actually about something far deeper. I have been in debate with many by private mail here. Someone says i have no cognitive structures in a way that enables me to make fair judgments. Someone else say i can't distinguish between use and abuse. And so forth. But the most lengthy and poignant mails are those I get from slaves. Slaves who are pimped out (continuously night after night), slaves who get pregnant and lose babies, slaves who are branded and see nothing of their master for long periods of time, slaves who devote their life to a so-called master until his scent is in their dreams and their every waking moment and their wish is only to serve and fulfil yes, YES. his every desire. It's actually a devotional life. It's a love that a slave feels far deeper than her/his words can convey and is a power source for their masters which from the outside of the dynamic, well yes it usually looks somewhat self-negating. But that is because it's similar to a conversion process and yes it looks bizarra from the outside. I have twenty plus, more years in the game of being submissive and slave than my dearest critique on here. Keep the flaming and keep the insults coming if you think it's going to help in anyway. We may snap out of a situation later than is for our own good. That's the bery nature of being a slave. I, and I am speaking for myself personally here, don't do it for my own well being but i do it for the well being of a master. That's precisely the moment when i am in deepest and there are no limits to my love other than his. You won't argue or rationalise a slave from her/his position by trying to pull her/him out into a dominant role. All we can do for each other is to hold, understand, be kind, be tender and look after each other if there is no longer a master there to prtect us when we are opening ourselves in service. I would say there are many slaves. But far far few Masters who understand the process. far far too many masters who merely think the dynamic centres solely on themselves.

kiwisub12 -> RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt... (3/30/2008 12:36:11 PM)
Classes in flirting - sign me up!! I'm so bad at flirting that once i tried to make my (then) husband mad by flirting with one of his workmates. I just chatted up a storm with this guy. Afterwards, he told me how much he appreciated me being nice (nice????) to his friend. He didn't even notice me flirting [:(] How embarassing is that!

petitespitfire64 -> RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt... (3/30/2008 12:49:21 PM)
I am a HUGE flirt...always have been, always will be. I smile and talk to and hug on almost everyone I meet. I am just naturally very friendly and outgoing. It's my personality, not an effort to snag a piece of butt. The Doms I have been with have celebrated my personality...except for 2. Those two had self esteem issues and took my innocent flirting as a universal come-on. I am who I am... I am either accepted and celebrated or I'm not...and I won't be with a Dominant who is threatened by me.

SirColdbore34 -> RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt... (3/30/2008 1:03:44 PM)
Here is thing about flirting. I am a Dom and used to do the same thing on the odd occassion. The problem is this. Of which I know now. When O/one is flirting with A/another, it must be set up that it is just that. Flirting. If the other party doesn't know this, and it continues for awhile, then it may become more to the recieving party. I recently went through a time where I was concidering a submissive, who is now the joy of My life, and was without knowing it, flirting with another. When the time came to Me collaring My one, the other, was devistated. Now in My world, it is not My place to offer a collar than to let a submissive beg for it and let Me know how bad she wants to have it. However, this person was under the impression that I may have been concidering it for her. Then when the collar was given to another one, she felt like a fool. So it must be set up in the very beginning, same as ground rules, that flirting is being done for just that. Flirting.

chellekitty -> RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt... (3/30/2008 1:30:14 PM)
ok, so here are my thoughts on it, like i promised, but please keep in mind that these are the thoughts of someone who over analyzes things, even to the point of over analyzing the fact that she over analyzes things...and someone who is more interested in sociological trends than psychological patterns, and while both are general, the former is that of a group and the latter is that of individuals...so when you look at my assesment of the scene....which, btw, is what i am basing my assesment of lifestyle people on, but i still see the same trends of the scene practiced by lifestyle people outside of the scene...lifestyle people - people who engage on any level in BDSM (and all that falls under that umbrella) and recognize it as BDSM (much like you can't decide for another person when they are or are not an addict, you can't decide for another person when they are or are not lifestyle, sorry to any who are offended by this comparisson, call your sponsor [:D])...and the scene - social gatherings where lifestyle people enteract with other lifestyle people, this is growing to controversially include the online scene...umm what was i saying? oh yea, so when you look at my assesment of the scene and as a result the people in the lifestyle by representative sampling, there will always be exceptions...the trends are much more of a how the forest is doing, how the ocean is flowing kind of thing... so here i go... quote: anyway...this got me to thinking...is there a level of flirty-ness acceptable for men vs women in this lifestyle? or is it submissives vs dominants? does single vs in a relationship make a difference? is there i only so much societal influence can do before instinct takes over, especially in regards to dominance structure? single men at lifestyle gatherings, scene events who are flirting, whether they be Top or bottom (and please, for the sake of my fingers, just consider me to be saying Top including anything like Master/Mistress/Dom/Domme/Owner/etc with the only exceptions being of gender, and bottom including anything like submissive/slave/pet/girl/boy/etc.) to be trolls...perhaps with the ocassional anomaly of an individual well know for something that gets away with it...but on average most single men are automatically trolls unless they mind their p's and q's to the t and are on their best behavior... single women on the other hand are prized objects - and yes they are objectified by their mere existence of being single and female and if they are bisexual, watch out - that are not in the least bit chastized for flirting...infact it is highly encouraged for them to have their dance cards filled out by multiple people (they are not the only ones though) or to flit from table to table getting men riled up...nothing is thought twice of that... taken bottoms in power exchange relationships, as others have noted are generally not allowed to be flirty with others, it is often seen as disrespectful to the Top they are in relationships with or that the bottom should not have any time to flirt with anyone else because all their attention should be devoted to thier Top....there may be on ocassion a Top who likes for their bottom to go get the others riled up and then take their bottoms home at the envy of all the others...from what i have seen, this is most common in Male Top relationships, whether they be gay or straight... taken Tops in power exchange relationships seem to be with the single women here, whether they are monogamous or poly, in that they can flirt - to a point - with who ever they want, because "they know their boundaries" and here is my orientation bias coming out, but they apparently have no need to give equal attention or respect to their partners (or perhaps that is me wanting things to be fair in a relationship...damn my mother and her bra burning ways)... but back to looking at things from a sociological point of view...by virtue of participating in power exchage relationships we have to do things a bit differently when we are in said power exchange relationships...if you look at heirarchial animals (sorry, we are not that different) you will note that there are not two Dominant Alpha's of the same level of Dominance...if there happens to be two in one group/pack/whatever either one is killed by the other or one leaves...there is only room for one at the top...so who do bottoms attract when they flirt? Tops...and that disrupts the balance of power...so perhaps things happen the way they do in order for them to stay balanced as best they can... or maybe i just think too much.... chelle edited to add: to those of you who were concerned about my innocent, asking of how that guy's week had gone....the previous week we had discussed ways to get through the no relationships for the first year thing, and how i got through it....i guess that is exciting for a guy?

Gemini1766 -> RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt... (3/30/2008 1:34:19 PM)
Steps up to the podium Good day people of various walks of life, and crawls as may be the case. My name is Gemini1766 and I am incurable flirt. I'm in a wonderful relationship RT and I have many online friends with whom I flirt. For me, flirting is fun, it is a great way to make friends, and I'm not about to change. If you don't like it, don't flirt. If you are under the care of someone who doesn't like it, then don't. The rest of you just enjoy it, but mind those who don't, and respect their boundries. Cheers!

BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt... (3/30/2008 1:45:25 PM)
We all flirt to a varying degree,I enjoy a flirting woman and mine are just as guilty but knowing where to draw the line...Flirting should be fun with a line in the sand not to be crossed..Just my 5 cents a buffalo nickle smile..

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt... (3/30/2008 1:45:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx We may snap out of a situation later than is for our own good. That's the bery nature of being a slave. Honey if it makes you feel better about making stupid choices and bad judgement calls for yourself by saying it's "a slave nature" or "emotional masochism" then please keep at your bliss. But you don't seem very blissful to me, or anyone else with more than a 30 second memory span here. I have no problems with self-negation in any form of a relationship. You want it, go get it. I have problems with people saying "I was born with an impairment that I can do nothing about and should be glorified for it (despite tons of other people being born with the same orientation who experience no such impairment themselves), so stop being a meanie."

subtee -> RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt... (3/30/2008 2:48:47 PM)
Chelle; What is this "flirting" thing you're asking about? Tee (hee)

Phin -> RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt... (3/30/2008 2:50:52 PM)
I think Tee is flirting with me [;)]

nwcutie102 -> RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt... (3/30/2008 2:59:22 PM)
i flirt, love to. i would not flirt with someone in front of my SO. (no SO now... so i can flirt away!)

subtee -> RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt... (3/30/2008 3:04:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Phin I think Tee is flirting with me [;)] ~runs her fingers through that phintastic hair, purrs~ I've never flirted in my life, Sexy...

masterofdrkness2 -> RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt... (3/30/2008 3:10:00 PM)
I would admitt I was a flirt.. but then it would mean I need help.. as they say" rehab is for quiters"... I am not ready to join the 12 step program yet .

BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt... (3/30/2008 3:17:37 PM)
If I'm attracted to and/or interested in a guy, then I'm really shy at first. The flirting doesn't come until I've gotten over that initial shyness. I will say this though, for me, there's flirting [sm=flowers.gif] that is only done with someone I am interested in or already involved with. I only flirt this way with my Master now. Then there is what I consider to be a charming sort of flirting that means nothing more than to be playful. I do this sometimes to try and make someone feel comfortable who isn't feeling comfy, or to diffuse an edgy situation between others.... that sort of thing.

Pyrrsefanie -> RE: hi, my name is chelle, and i am a flirt... (3/30/2008 3:23:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chellekitty i didn't know i had been flirting with huge amounts of sexual under(over?)tones... If you have the urge to say or do extremely sexual things, but you don't mean any of it, you could have confibulatory hypersexual nervosa. It's a disease. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oe5pkXkSmZw [:D] Heehee... but more on the post, I'm completely guilty of being a flirt without realizing it. I'm in a monogamous relationship with my pet and completely happy with him, but I guess I'm just a sexual creature by nature. It seems like it might be more acceptable for a Dom/me to take control of a conversation and initiate the flirting/seduction as to a sub doing the same just because of the level of devotion often expected of them to their Dom/me... but in my personal opinion, if you're keeping yourself safe and just batting your eyelashes for the fun of it without necessarily dragging the person back to your place, I say GO FOR IT! Like Mae West said, "if you've got it, flaunt it."

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