RE: Have I become a discarded sub?

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RE: Have I become a discarded sub? - 3/31/2008 12:18:12 AM

Leatherist

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This isn't real.

Real is everything, not words on a screen.

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RE: Have I become a discarded sub? - 3/31/2008 12:30:14 AM

bbwsubnnorcal

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So in other words---YOU'RE cheating and HE'S cheating. And you wonder why he's treating you like a one-night stand?!

*rolls eyes*

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RE: Have I become a discarded sub? - 3/31/2008 12:32:55 AM

Leatherist

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This is almost as fun as peyton place.

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RE: Have I become a discarded sub? - 3/31/2008 6:22:26 AM

xxblushesxx

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pffftttt...look at the profile. Just another one off.

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RE: Have I become a discarded sub? - 3/31/2008 6:46:56 AM

LadyPact

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This is one of those perfect examples of times I'm going to just shake My head, and find another thread.

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RE: Have I become a discarded sub? - 3/31/2008 8:51:53 AM

KatyLied

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It sounds like he got what he wanted and has moved on.

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RE: Have I become a discarded sub? - 3/31/2008 9:23:32 AM

corsetgirl

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I am always careful about the word "discreet", which could mean that he has either done this to other subs or does not want to get caught or is living with a wife or SO.
I also try to be careful on following my gut instincts as looking at the dom's intentions, actions and words. If they are confusing to me, then I just simply turn them down to look for someone who can be more honest with me.

I have learned a few lessons about playing too soon, only to find that these so-called doms are the "hit and run" or as someone else says, the "hit it and quit it" fakes and have found I do what I can to avoid these people and move on.

Next time, be more cautious and have a few vanilla dates with them before playing as I found I weed out those who are are not worthy of my submission.

< Message edited by corsetgirl -- 3/31/2008 9:26:16 AM >

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RE: Have I become a discarded sub? - 3/31/2008 9:29:25 AM

Dnomyar

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op come to me and I will recycle you.

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RE: Have I become a discarded sub? - 3/31/2008 9:35:11 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
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From: Nashville, TN
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You both knew you were cheating. So, he either got caught, or decided to cut the risk before he got caught. Whenever you get into something discreet like that, you come second at best. Often its even farther down the line than 2nd. Wherever you fall, you are the disposable one. Ifits necessary to ditch something to perserve the peace, its going to be you. My advice is get out of the relationship you are in and find soeone who is open and able to have a relationship with you. Not necessarily single, but definately allowed to be looking. Sneaking around almost always leads to problems.

DV

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RE: Have I become a discarded sub? - 3/31/2008 9:48:40 AM

lally3

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He usually contacts me right away, and several times a day.

im confused, was this a first time play.

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RE: Have I become a discarded sub? - 3/31/2008 1:28:21 PM

Floggings4You

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That T/they both were 'cheating' doesn't matter, IMO. By agreeing to play, the Dom assumes the responsibility to (at the very least) contact the submissive partner a short while (usually 24 hours or so) after play, to check on how the sub is doing: mentally, emotionally, and physically.

The circumstances of their O/other relationships is irrelevant--they engaged in real play, and the Dom has real responsibilities.

< Message edited by Floggings4You -- 3/31/2008 1:31:11 PM >

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RE: Have I become a discarded sub? - 3/31/2008 1:42:39 PM

xxblushesxx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Floggings4You
they engaged in real play, and the Dom has real responsibilities.

Which it looks like he is engaging in, and not with her. (if this is real, which I seriously doubt.)

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RE: Have I become a discarded sub? - 3/31/2008 3:15:07 PM

windchymes

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Don't think of it as 'discarded', think of it as 'liberated'. The need to be discreet is almost always a red flag. And guys wanting a quickie one-night stand abound here, and all over the internet.

Finally, stop thinking of yourself as "frightened little kitten" and "little brained". You're an adult woman, and i you're going to play the adult games, you have to think and act like an adult, or else you're going to keep on getting taken advantage of. Someone might think you are adorable for a night, but it's not likely they'll return after they satisfy their itch. Especially married ones.

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RE: Have I become a discarded sub? - 3/31/2008 6:50:18 PM

SirMIkeSD

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From: San Diego, Ca
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It sounds like you are botrh cheating with the discreat thing - get over it and move on.

Mike

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RE: Have I become a discarded sub? - 3/31/2008 6:52:42 PM

Maya2001

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From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
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In simple words he wanted the conquest ... he lured you in he got the reward he wanted... ..... the hunt is now finished ....

now time for him to look for new game to hunt

< Message edited by Maya2001 -- 3/31/2008 6:53:35 PM >

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RE: Have I become a discarded sub? - 3/31/2008 7:04:31 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Floggings4You
By agreeing to play, the Dom assumes the responsibility to (at the very least) contact the submissive partner a short while (usually 24 hours or so) after play, to check on how the sub is doing: mentally, emotionally, and physically.

I dunno what rule book you got that little gem out of, but it's not something I subscribe to.

If I've AGREED to that being part of the arrangement together, sure. Otherwise, not at all.

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RE: Have I become a discarded sub? - 3/31/2008 7:08:23 PM

Leatherist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: Floggings4You
By agreeing to play, the Dom assumes the responsibility to (at the very least) contact the submissive partner a short while (usually 24 hours or so) after play, to check on how the sub is doing: mentally, emotionally, and physically.

I dunno what rule book you got that little gem out of, but it's not something I subscribe to.

If I've AGREED to that being part of the arrangement together, sure. Otherwise, not at all.

That's pretty much mny take on it too-a girl is welcome to call me if she is experiencing issues after the fact. But I don't consider anything a DUTY unless we agree to it.

Then again,I base my relationships on individual interactions-not stereotypes other people consider to be "proper".

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RE: Have I become a discarded sub? - 3/31/2008 7:15:45 PM

agoodgirl4Daddy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: Floggings4You
By agreeing to play, the Dom assumes the responsibility to (at the very least) contact the submissive partner a short while (usually 24 hours or so) after play, to check on how the sub is doing: mentally, emotionally, and physically.

I dunno what rule book you got that little gem out of, but it's not something I subscribe to.

If I've AGREED to that being part of the arrangement together, sure. Otherwise, not at all.

That's pretty much mny take on it too-a girl is welcome to call me if she is experiencing issues after the fact. But I don't consider anything a DUTY unless we agree to it.

Then again,I base my relationships on individual interactions-not stereotypes other people consider to be "proper".

i think it's the honorable thing to do, but i haven't found that many in the "lifestyle" are honorable people. they are looking more and more to me to be selfish, what's-in-it-for-me types.

Personally, i'd be honored to scene with someone who has the respect and care that Floggings4You states that he believes the Top needs to give the bottom. i think that people forget that it's not just "play"...What it is that we do involved real people..with real emotions...and for those who play *HARD* (like me) the intensity level is high. it's nice to know that the person who has beaten my ass to a bruised, bloody pulp thinks enough of me to contact me to see how i'm doing.

just my 2 cents worth....

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RE: Have I become a discarded sub? - 3/31/2008 7:20:23 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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I'm dishonorable because we're at a kinky convention on the last day of a four day exhaustive kink a thon, we hook up for a night of hot awesome sexy play, we both leave early the next day because we have to catch flights to get home and get ready to go back to work the next day and we don't talk on the phone?

I think bottoms forget they need to offer aftercare as much as the top- how dishonorable is that?

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RE: Have I become a discarded sub? - 3/31/2008 7:25:37 PM

agoodgirl4Daddy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I'm dishonorable because we're at a kinky convention on the last day of a four day exhaustive kink a thon, we hook up for a night of hot awesome sexy play, we both leave early the next day because we have to catch flights to get home and get ready to go back to work the next day and we don't talk on the phone?

I think bottoms forget they need to offer aftercare as much as the top- how dishonorable is that?

when someone wants to be a "regular play partner"...and then doesn't treat me well... yeah...he's dishonorable. especially when he knows that i had a massive case of bottom drop after being beaten severely.

a one night stand that is just that..not as bigga deal to me...especially when it was just sex ..... but an emotionally and physically intense scene that leaves the bottom reeling....that does seem to me to be a reason to behave like a caring human being. and i may be strange..but when the Top has a primary partner..it isn't something i like to have to do to phone him to talk... (she does know..and was there...that we scened).

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