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RE: Expectations of a Sub? - 3/31/2008 7:13:01 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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RE: Expectations of a Sub? - 4/1/2008 4:48:23 AM

DesFIP

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You might want to suggest your wife's friend post her questions in the Ask a Mistress forum, she'll get more focused answers there than here.

Pro Dommes don't usually have personal relationships with clients. It shouldn't even come up as to whether or not she's married. She also should not be working out of her home for fear of stalkers. She can't give them any sexual release herself or it becomes prostitution. What she's willing to offer and what they want is a matter of negotiation.

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RE: Expectations of a Sub? - 4/1/2008 2:17:03 PM

devoT

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

You might want to suggest your wife's friend post her questions in the Ask a Mistress forum, she'll get more focused answers there than here.

Already suggested it:)

quote:

Pro Dommes don't usually have personal relationships with clients. It shouldn't even come up as to whether or not she's married. She also should not be working out of her home for fear of stalkers. She can't give them any sexual release herself or it becomes prostitution. What she's willing to offer and what they want is a matter of negotiation.

Yeah, I realise some confusion lies in the term sexual satisfaction, but what I specifically meant was the orgasm of the male sub, whether by his own hand, the Dommes, or some other means. She is keen for this not to happen, but was concerned that, if it was made clear that it wouldn't, she wouldn't get any offers at all. I guess that if ALL male subs who came to her expected an orgasm at some point in the proceedings, then she would have to be a bit more flexible. Hence my question as to whether this was something they expected or not.

As for her own home, this is something we've already discussed with her: she's keen for a sub to do housework, jobs round the house etc. Which of course means they have to come to her home. We've suggested there is a risk factor attached to that, and advised that any relationship is conducted online first, for at least a few months, until a position of trust is reached, before inviting anyone into her home. And then to make sure her husband is there, even if only in the background, just in case.

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RE: Expectations of a Sub? - 4/2/2008 8:22:28 AM

OnlyMels

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tahlly

quote:

Would you be disappointed, for example, to discover that your Domme had other submissives/slaves besides you?

He has other girls; some who live with us on occassion; some who do not. Some are here for the long haul, some are just here to learn something new and then move on. It matters little to me how many girls he has or does not have; that is not my business.

Well I think if your in any relationship even if you don't want love it is one's business to know how many people your dom or domme has along with you. Wheather you want to know or not its still your business.
Anyway I don't have to many expectations but I know what I like and I am with my first real dom(and fiance) now and I discuss things with him as they arise. We're go with the flow people.
But if I was meeting someone for the first time I woiuld want to know the basics make sure they're single clean has a stable job car and apartment house whatever I wouldn't want a guy to live off me. Also I would see how much experience he has in the lifestyle. What his views and interests are make sure he's not expecting a total 24/7 slave cause thats not me at all.

< Message edited by OnlyMels -- 4/2/2008 8:26:05 AM >

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RE: Expectations of a Sub? - 4/9/2008 10:03:40 PM

LPslittleclip

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when i first met my M'Lady there was a lengthy decision on what was expected and allowed. being as my M'Lady is married and so am i it meant that there was needed communication to allow all of the people to have a voice. my M'Lady does play with other submissive i don't mind as i am to please my M'Lady. as far as sex that is one hard limit that my wife and M'Ladys husband disallow. with my being in the army and her rotating schedule i relish the time together.

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RE: Expectations of a Sub? - 4/9/2008 10:39:14 PM

HardToTame

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I think this thread just helped me decifer my perfect Mistress.

I expect that, she gets off on what she asks of me. I expect her to enjoy it as much as I do, but, GENUINELY.
I don't expect her to be a bossy bitch just cos it gets me off, I expect her to do it because her having power over me gets HER off. It's in pleasing her that I get pleasure, so I expect her to, genuinely want to be pleasured. Not to want to be a 'Mistress' or 'Dominatrix', the title doesn't matter, I expect her to want to take charge. To be turned on at the thought of being in charge. To want it to be a sexual release of an emotional desire. Even if my bits never touch hers, I expect her to genuinely want that release and to genuinely command that I give it to her as, a sought of mark of devotion to her. A sign of appreciation. A way of saying "You worship me, and it means alot to me, and this sticky mess I've just made is a tribute to your efforts of pleasing me"

I expect a bedroom Domme. Just, a bitch with a whip, who afterwards, everything is normal. I wear the pants again. It might be an admission of fakeness, but, I expect her to be mature enough to say "well it's our thing, it's on a level we both enjoy and conscent to, it gets you off, it gets me off, so fuck anyone elses judgement or criticisms of what we do in the privacy of our bedrooms"

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RE: Expectations of a Sub? - 4/9/2008 11:07:13 PM

Leatherist

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RE: Expectations of a Sub? - 4/10/2008 9:29:27 AM

slavemaia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: devoT

Greetings all,

Been wondering for a while: as submissives/slaves, what are your expectations from a Domme? I know some of you will say "I'm not allowed any" LOL, but what I mean is, you must, at some level, when deciding to offer yourself to a Domme, expect/desire that She is going to fulfil your needs, whether that be within the context of a long term relationship or a brief, paid-for encounter.

Would you be disappointed, for example, to discover that your Domme had other submissives/slaves besides you?
Would you be disappointed to discover that She was married? Or had a long term partner of any gender/status? Would this have been a dream dashed for you? Did you hope that one day you might be lucky enough to fulfil that role for Her?

Do you expect a sexual component to your relationship? Do you expect your Domme to make you cum, whether with her own hand/tool or not, perhaps as a finale to your encounter/scene? Would you be disappointed if She didn't? What if it was Her desire to keep you denied, despite your wishes? Would you leave and seek another Domme? Would it make a difference if you were paying for the encounter, i.e. "the customer is king"?

hee hee - i can EXPECT all i want from anyone. But i've found communication works much better. LOL

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RE: Expectations of a Sub? - 4/10/2008 10:18:38 AM

WalterRego

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quote:

ORIGINAL: devoT

Yeah, I realise some confusion lies in the term sexual satisfaction, but what I specifically meant was the orgasm of the male sub, whether by his own hand, the Dommes, or some other means. She is keen for this not to happen, but was concerned that, if it was made clear that it wouldn't, she wouldn't get any offers at all. I guess that if ALL male subs who came to her expected an orgasm at some point in the proceedings, then she would have to be a bit more flexible. Hence my question as to whether this was something they expected or not.

Might depend on why she is keen for the subs not to have an orgasm. As well as what sorts of things she does plan to do with them or allow. Is this because she doesn't believe they should? Is is a control thing? A part of her kink? Or does she just not want it because it's "icky" to her or it will make her feel less like a paid sex worker?

If any of the first couple she could probably explain it, "advertise" it in her profile. A number of Mistresses (both paid and real life0 do. Some male subs get off on this. She could even make it a chastity type thing, or a tease and denial type of thing.

Actually come to think of it, even if she doesn't want them to cum for other reasons, she could take that pose and probably still get men, if she has a good line. And depending on what things she will plan on doing with them. Will she be allowing any physical contact? Shoes? Feet? Will she be doing any sort of physical activities. Verbal Humiliation? Etc etc. All of this kind of comes as a package deal and also if it's for pay, needs to be packaged. Depending on what she wants and is willing to do, she will probably find some men willing to pay.

But honestly, if she is just into it for the money, has no experience and is not willing to do very much....well, that will probably come across to potential clients and she might be better off selling Tupperware. In any business, the corollary to "You get what you pay for" is "You pay for what you get."

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RE: Expectations of a Sub? - 4/10/2008 11:32:06 AM

YourhandMyAss

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I don't see it as admission of fakeness. I see it as a bonous point for you for being honest that you want the sexy aspects only, and don't like about doing anything else just to get a woman.

quote:

ORIGINAL: HardToTame
I expect a bedroom Domme. Just, a bitch with a whip, who afterwards, everything is normal. I wear the pants again. It might be an admission of fakeness,

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RE: Expectations of a Sub? - 4/10/2008 1:17:47 PM

femdomslaveN

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I expect honesty from a Domme, as she should expect from me. Also, I have a few hard limits I expect her to keep in mind. But if we match even a little bit, those hard limits won't be a problem for both of us.

Other than that, I expect play to be safe, sane and consensual. And as long as she stays within my few hard limits, she can expect me to obey to everything she demands.

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RE: Expectations of a Sub? - 4/10/2008 4:50:55 PM

lubegirl

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Honesty was my only expectation.

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RE: Expectations of a Sub? - 4/10/2008 7:18:35 PM

HardToTame

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quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

I don't see it as admission of fakeness. I see it as a bonous point for you for being honest that you want the sexy aspects only, and don't like about doing anything else just to get a woman.

quote:

ORIGINAL: HardToTame
I expect a bedroom Domme. Just, a bitch with a whip, who afterwards, everything is normal. I wear the pants again. It might be an admission of fakeness,

No well, don't get me wrong, if she was my girlfriend or wife also and said "get me a drink" or "give me a massage" or something, I'd do it just as I would if it was a sexual situation, I'd still, serve her (Which is why I've always said a Mistress must prove her worth to me),but outside of that sexual situation, I wouldn't want to be on a leash. I guess, I expect the whole, leash and whip aspect to be left in the bedroom, but that doesn't mean I stop serving when the sex is over, it's just I wouldn't wear a leash and grovel at her feet and say "Yes Mistress" and all that. But thats because, I expect my mistress to capture my emotions as a person also. She has to make me WANT to be at her beck and call so that even outside of that sexual situation I still want to serve her even with out the titles and labels and leather and lace.

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