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Not a Match for - 3/31/2008 9:15:20 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		It has been a while but when I saw this I had to ask. In another post OldBastard1 said " those are subs I realize that I'm not a match for". My question is have you met a sub you thought that you were not a match for and how did you handle it.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Not a Match for - 3/31/2008 9:17:18 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		Oooooooooooh I like your pic! *back to your scheduled thread*

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~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to Dnomyar)
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RE: Not a Match for - 3/31/2008 10:01:33 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar
My question is have you met a sub you thought that you were not a match for and how did you handle it.


Thanks but no thanks. you might see compatability but I don't, you are not what I am looking for......


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Not a Match for - 3/31/2008 11:10:26 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I have a standing rule that I meet someone in person in a public place, for coffee or a meal, at least 24 hours before the first session.  I had one sub try to convince me that if he picked me up in his car that it would be the first date, coffee the second, and that we should immediately return to my hotel room so that he could serve me orally.  (I had made it clear in advance that sessions would not include performing any sexual act on me.)  I was not a match for him - he was out for quick kinky sex with a stranger and this fell outside of safe and sane in my mind.

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(in reply to Dnomyar)
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RE: Not a Match for - 3/31/2008 11:54:05 AM   
sirguym


Posts: 318
Joined: 8/10/2007
Status: offline 		There are some subs that really do want to be 'made' to do stuff, to be 'taken', 'overpowered' , etc.

Maybe I could have fun with them, but I am bored with people unprepared to take responsibility for what they do.

Even if what they want to do is surrender to me, or another, or maybe just 'anyone with a pulse'.

There are plenty of interesting people who want to play with me and offer themselves without guilt, etc.

So of course, I just 'pass' on those who seem too much trouble.

If I want them to feel good about themselves I may use that phrase.

But I'll usually be thinking, 'why be goaded into a struggle when there's no good reason'?



(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Not a Match for - 3/31/2008 11:58:43 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		The Man's a bondage top not a sadist. He's been approached by masochists in the past and passed on them. Simply because their interests don't match. He probably would have passed on a bondage bottom who loved to spend all weekend playing golf, because his interests don't match up there either.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to sirguym)
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RE: Not a Match for - 3/31/2008 2:56:48 PM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		Thats simple...
 
Adios...

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Not a Match for - 3/31/2008 6:40:34 PM   
ToysAndTies


Posts: 124
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline 		I would have said the same way anyone handles a date that doesn't work out, or relationship gone bad.  End it.

(in reply to ThundersCry)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Not a Match for - 3/31/2008 6:56:40 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Depends what you refer to as not being a match for. More experienced? I'd welcome it. temper tantrums? I'd deal with it harshly if I thought she was worth it. Social connectiolns? Unless she was in very rare circles I'm a match for her. truth is I do not deal with subs, only slaves.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)


< Message edited by IronBear -- 3/31/2008 6:58:26 PM >

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Not a Match for - 3/31/2008 7:01:53 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Told her so.

But I'm mean that way.

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I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
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RE: Not a Match for - 3/31/2008 7:24:36 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		If you are saying not a match for, meaning in compatibility, I can tell you at the minimum, it has been scores, if not hundreds.  People do not match for a variety of reason, be it personality, or kink, or a myriad of possibilities.

Now, if the question were posed as the thought that a sub might be 'too much' to be a match for a Dom/me, I'm more of the mind to wonder if it is a case of being too much, or more than the Dominant would be willing to take on at the time.  Some 'challenges' require more work than it is worth, especially for one who is more interested in quiet contentment,.


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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Not a Match for - 3/31/2008 8:33:38 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

It has been a while but when I saw this I had to ask. In another post OldBastard1 said "those are subs I realize that I'm not a match for". My question is have you met a sub you thought that you were not a match for and how did you handle it.


If we restrict "met" to meaning "met in person with the intent to explore the possibility of a relationship" it has happened six times that I can recall. In four cases I handled it with a brief  interaction with an unambiguous termination (Three included play ranging from a quick spanking to a pretty freaky overnight romp, just to be chivalrous; the fourth never went beyond drinks.)  In each case we parted amicably.

In the other two cases--largely because they had traveled so far to meet me--I gave them more time. Both of these times my first impression proved faulty.

One of those women is a beloved friend today after a wonderful BDSM relationship of some months duration. The other one is ... never gonna get away.

Not that she'd want to.



(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Not a Match for - 3/31/2008 8:43:30 PM   
MisterStrongWill


Posts: 44
Joined: 12/31/2004
Status: offline 		I respond as I would like to be responded to, "after reading over your profle I did not see anything that would leave me to beleive that you are what I am searching for. But I wish you luck."

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Not a Match for - 3/31/2008 9:30:37 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Hmmm... I don't think I have ever come across that situation.  I never meet guys with the intent to submit to them.  I meet MEN, as men, not as dominants.  I interact with them as I would any other male, flirtatious, playful, friendly, and non-committal.
If they want to take things further than they generally try, and are quickly shown that I am not ready to see them as a dominant.
If is soooooooooo much easier to meet people as people, rather than roles.  That way things develop in a logical pace, ie.. we get to know each other first, before either of us expects other things.
In my experience when I do it this way there is little doubt if either one of us is not suitable for the other.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Not a Match for - 3/31/2008 9:35:56 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		I pretty much nail'em all.

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(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Not a Match for - 3/31/2008 9:37:02 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I have met many. I just state that. Simple. I am sorry, but I dont believe we are a match. You have interests you wish to pursue that I do not wish t be part of.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Not a Match for - 3/31/2008 10:23:52 PM   
ZenDragoness


Posts: 372
Joined: 1/21/2006
From: Berlin/Germany
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThundersCry

Thats simple...
 
Adios...


Agreed.


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aka Morgaine289

http://goldenerkern.blogspot.com/

(in reply to ThundersCry)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Not a Match for - 3/31/2008 10:41:43 PM   
MissHarlet


Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline 		Im sorry but I dont think that we are compatible in our interests ...... I wish you luck in your search.....and am sure you will find the perfect match for yourself .....but that person is not me..

< Message edited by MissHarlet -- 3/31/2008 10:42:29 PM >

_____________________________

Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to ZenDragoness)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Not a Match for - 3/31/2008 10:57:44 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline 		Raymond,
I don't think I have met a sub that I was not a match for..or he/she was not a match for me, but I have met a few that I had regrets letting slipped through. I wish them well, but I was to hasty in my decision. My loss? Maybe, but theirs as well <s>

IB, I love your new pic!!

MoGa

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(in reply to MissHarlet)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Not a Match for - 4/1/2008 2:41:02 AM   
LadyHathor


Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissHarlet

Im sorry but I dont think that we are compatible in our interests ...... I wish you luck in your search.....and am sure you will find the perfect match for yourself .....but that person is not me..


I've said exactly as MissM has stated here, it is hard though and this may be what you are aiming for D---when the sub has decided you really are what THEY seek-----that isn't an easy let down for sure, but it is what it is---we cannot dangle people along just because of our lifestyle---people are people, some click, some don't.

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Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to MissHarlet)
Profile   Post #: 20
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