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RE: Not a Match for - 4/1/2008 2:50:03 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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I've met lots. I'm honest. The last one was just last week. he's very service oriented, which is what attracted me to him, but once we started comparing what we want in a relationship, it was clear that we were not on the same path. So, we're going to be friends. he's a nice guy and is active in our local club.

Master Fire

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RE: Not a Match for - 4/1/2008 3:36:26 AM

MsCfromMelbourne

Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

........ " those are subs I realize that I'm not a match for". My question is have you met a sub you thought that you were not a match for and how did you handle it.

Oh yes. Lots. About 90% of the men I meet do not have the right chemistry in person.

IMO every dominant needs to learn how to reject submissives graciously in such a way that leaves them disappointed but not angry. Warmth and charm are dominant traits, not bitchiness.

Honesty is the best policy. But in a diplomatic, respectful way. Many people do not handle rejection well.

If the guy is sleazy, pushy or too creepy, I just smile nicely and leave as quickly as I can without being rude. And I pay for my own coffee.

If the guy is really nice but not my type, I say so (with a rueful smile) and enthusiastically offer to take him to a BDSM club, seminar or party anyway. Most say sure and we go out as friends. Sometimes my new "friend" ends up being a play partner and we have great fun, but they never become a sexual partner.

In this way I have built a pretty large network of really loyal male friends in my local scene. Being really warm and friendly to other kinksters pays dividends

I could be a smart alec bitch to the rejects, but nasty behaviour tends to come back to bite you on the bum. Every local scene is pretty small and I have learned the hard way that paths always cross again

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Post #: 22

RE: Not a Match for - 4/1/2008 3:42:57 AM

Justme696

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Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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Most subs I meet are not a match, some are friends now. Others went on with their life.
The one that matched is mine.

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RE: Not a Match for - 4/1/2008 4:33:20 AM

Dnomyar

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All good answers. MsCfromMelbourne I though yours was great.

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RE: Not a Match for - 4/1/2008 5:39:26 AM

HalloweenWhite

Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
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Um.....move onto the next person you connect with?.

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RE: Not a Match for - 4/2/2008 3:13:45 AM

Indemnis

Posts: 179
Joined: 4/15/2005
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Speaking as a *sub*, I agree with Raven...
I think a firm 'you see compatibility but I don't' is quite honest and to the point.

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RE: Not a Match for - 4/5/2008 8:45:53 AM

AMaster

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I haven't yet, but I'm sure it is possible.

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RE: Not a Match for - 4/5/2008 2:12:01 PM

Floggings4You

Posts: 240
Joined: 12/18/2006
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When I was looking for My sub, My profiles (here, at at two other similar sites) stated very clearly what I wanted. I tried to 'screen' potential subs pretty well via email, so that I wasn't arranging a meeting with someone who was clearly incompatible.

Anyone who emailed Me (and I recall two or three such instances) whose profiles (or subsequent emails) showed that W/we would not be compatible, received a respectful email stating exactly that.

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RE: Not a Match for - 4/5/2008 4:03:44 PM

OsideGirl

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From: United States
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I talked to a lot of guys that were not a match for me. We had different goals for the relationship, for life, etc. I take that as a fact of life. Other wise, wouldn't everyone be a match?

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RE: Not a Match for - 4/6/2008 3:23:14 AM

Justme696

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I talked to a lot of guys that were not a match for me. We had different goals for the relationship, for life, etc. I take that as a fact of life. Other wise, wouldn't everyone be a match?

as long the sex is good that is no prob

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RE: Not a Match for - 4/6/2008 7:13:15 AM

SirJohnMandevill

Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
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If mean a "physical" match, then no. Even though I knew the Wright Brothers, I still believe in my mind I could take on any submissive, regardless of age. Fortunately, my submissive and I are relatively close in age -- 9 years -- so it's not an issue.

If you mean in terms of experience, there too, I would take my chances. Most submissives I know are more experienced in the lifestyle than I...but I learn quickly! Again, fortunately this isn't an issue now.

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

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RE: Not a Match for - 4/6/2008 8:52:50 AM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

My question is have you met a sub you thought that you were not a match for and how did you handle it.

Nearly every submissive person I have ever met was not a match for me. How I handled it varies and will vary in the future. There is no specific dance that I do when this particular music is played. Since.. I find the music is always abit different with each situation and requires different dance steps.

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Post #: 32