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Love connection!! - 3/31/2008 1:39:38 PM   
ChemistryMaster1


Posts: 73
Joined: 3/26/2008
Status: offline 		Greetings, I am new to the lifestle and I have a question in regard of the love connection between the Master and His Sub. I have learned to be so hard on myself and tought my heart to never fall in love again especially after the death of my beloved wife....Am not talking about my deceased wife.

Am talking about my new lifestyler Sub:

My question is : How could I tell if it is love or an escape of reality/her own reality??? We had a fight and she is up and left yet still sending me e-mails showing lots of care....and kneeling in each... could someone fill me in on this please? Am really confused and dont know whether she is with me or pulling away!!!

This is how she kneels in here letters to me:
comes to your feet and kneels there, resting my head on your knee..... whispers

Hope i didnt do wrong by copying/pasting her words to me 'cause they are private but I need ur help.
Sincerely
Pharoh 

< Message edited by ChemistryMaster1 -- 3/31/2008 1:56:30 PM >

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Pharoh

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RE: Love connection!! - 3/31/2008 1:41:41 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		I have a question, how do you kneel in an email?

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RE: Love connection!! - 3/31/2008 1:44:21 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		Your  post is confusing. Who is pulling away?In  your first paragraph you talk of being a widower who will never love again. Then you talk about her. Whos her? Not your dead wife? You need to explain who you are speaking about and more background before we can give our POV

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RE: Love connection!! - 3/31/2008 1:47:01 PM   
ChemistryMaster1


Posts: 73
Joined: 3/26/2008
Status: offline 		Here is how she starts her letters
comes to your feet and kneels there, resting my head on your knee..... whispers:

I hope i didnt do wrong by copy/past her words to me 'cause they are supposed to be private.

(in reply to colouredin)
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RE: Love connection!! - 3/31/2008 1:48:59 PM   
ChemistryMaster1


Posts: 73
Joined: 3/26/2008
Status: offline 		My deceased wife is the love of my life....she is not the one am talking about....Am talking about my new lifestyle sub.

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RE: Love connection!! - 3/31/2008 1:52:22 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChemistryMaster1

Here is how she starts her letters
comes to your feet and kneels there, resting my head on your knee..... whispers:

I hope i didnt do wrong by copy/past her words to me 'cause they are supposed to be private.



Why dont you aske her what it is all about? Is she your sub or did you release her or did she end things? If any of these is true and you are not in love than whats the problem?

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Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

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RE: Love connection!! - 3/31/2008 1:58:15 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChemistryMaster1

My deceased wife is the love of my life....she is not the one am talking about....Am talking about my new lifestyle sub.


Until you finish grieving and move on, you can't move on.  Perhaps she cares for you, is as confused as you are, and yet knows she needs more than you are ready to offer.

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RE: Love connection!! - 3/31/2008 2:03:42 PM   
ChemistryMaster1


Posts: 73
Joined: 3/26/2008
Status: offline 		Ma'am, with all due respect.. because of them letters I dont know whether she want to get back with me or not..... Is it supposed to be like this when ppl break up in the lifestyle. I really dont know.

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RE: Love connection!! - 3/31/2008 2:06:11 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Sounds like she still cares. Is this all email or some rt as well?

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RE: Love connection!! - 3/31/2008 2:07:26 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Part of your postings lead the reader to believe that this is some internet fantasy based relationship.

If it is not, then I would suggest you heed SimplyMichael's advice. If indeed it is just some internet thing.......I just don't know what to say that will be polite or constructive.


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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Love connection!! - 3/31/2008 2:08:01 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Have you met her or is this email exchanges and you are thinking of going into meeting her?
If it is online, then my advice would be entirely different.
If it is with a hope for extending the relationship, I would suggest that only by meeting her, will you begin to assess her intentions and what is real for her.
 
If you did not set out such a protocol for her to write that way, I would suggest she is maybe living in too much of a fantasy situation.  But until you ask her - you don't know.
 
the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Love connection!! - 3/31/2008 2:09:00 PM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		she may still care, but I think that so long as your wife is the love of your life she will always feel like she's second best to memories.

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Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

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RE: Love connection!! - 3/31/2008 2:13:40 PM   
ChemistryMaster1


Posts: 73
Joined: 3/26/2008
Status: offline 		Thank you all who contribute on here.....It is NOT on line fantasy....It is Real Time.....so I do need to know if I should Ignore her n move on or wait a bit and give her some space.

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RE: Love connection!! - 3/31/2008 2:15:25 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		Only she can answer your questions. By the way, break ups in bdsm are pretty much the same as break ups in any relationship.

But for me personally, if i was told by a i was seeing  Dominant that his deceased wife was the love of his life and he would never love again. I know I'd be walking away. But that's just me and the needs i have in my life.



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RE: Love connection!! - 3/31/2008 2:19:27 PM   
HerLord


Posts: 697
Joined: 2/14/2008
Status: offline 		Dude... I realize that written communication is far more complicated than oratory, however, I must tell you, if you post in these forums, you MUST be able to convey a thought process. NO one will be able to answer your questions, or make informed comments on your remarks, if they cannot be understood.  Hell In these parts you might even get flamed for bad grammar, or worse, typos or even mispellings...

This said...
It sounds like you currently HAD a recent lady with whom you are currently conversing with via the more complicated written word of Email, and she either did live w/you, or you were much closer than you are now, but you are unsure of if she is pulling away from the relationship or what... Hell I can't figure out what your saying... But it don't really matter, my advice is the same any way it goes...

TALK to her, written just does not seem to be in your forte. If phone are not an option and email is all you got, you gotta try to make it work for you. If you are in need of assistance writing, I am sure some one here or in your life will be glad to help you.

Was the fight of significance or more to the trite side? You have not given much to the avail of disclosure, but enough to resound my advice, which if any one wasn't paying attention, was and still is TALK TO HER!

BTW... if that white folding chair is all the furniture you got... this might have something to do with the "up and left."

< Message edited by HerLord -- 3/31/2008 2:21:12 PM >

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RE: Love connection!! - 3/31/2008 2:20:05 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		I need to ask a couple questions before i can help you.

Is your beloved deceased wife also the one you are divorced from and mention in your profile?

Is your sub one of the large data base of submissives you lost when you're computer had a system meltdown, and how does this sub compare in your heart to the other subs? 

It's very difficult for a stranger to guess on the motives of a submissive, just as it is very difficult for a stranger to understand your motives in writing this post while having a contradictory profile.  Could you please clarify yourself?  Are you a widower or divorcee?  Are you considering this sub as your one or do you have many subs under consideration?  Are you able to be Dominant in your dealings with submissives? 

I think you should take a step back, take a deep breath, decide what you really need in your life, decide how much of yourself you are willing to put into being a Master, go to some munches, go to some demonstrations, talk to people who live the lifestyle on a daily basis, and then maybe you will know enough to attempt to find your first submissive. 

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RE: Love connection!! - 3/31/2008 2:21:17 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		Did your sub kneel  before you  prior to leaving ?   She may be describing her feeling and actions

Have you told your sub prior to getting into this relationship , that being loved is not part of the package?  Tjhat type of honesty is necessary and would be cruel not to let them know before entering into.
Domination can create strong emotional feelings and ties  towards the master and then sudden ending of relationship can become quite painful and create a sense of loss much like the feelings  you went thru with the loss of your wife, which is one reason it is extremely important to honestly  represent yourself in a relationship.   Some subs are okay  and feel they can submit without the expectation of being loved in return,  I am one that cannot, the intensity of the ongoing LTR relationship which where ownership exists   stirs up to much emotion for me to want to be in a relationship where feeling will not shared both ways,  the majority of subs feel the same way and expect love to be part of the package.   Is is not to say I could not have occasional  playdates with service tops,  then I only need to know they respect me and my boundaries  



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RE: Love connection!! - 3/31/2008 2:21:19 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		It really comes down to your rules and protocols.  Does she deserve a second chance?
I am going to be generalising here - but women do tend to be the walk outers, so a lack of discipline and nurture of doing that in other relationships can play a factor.  So, if you feel she may have potential to suit your needs and desires, then give her the chance, but this time set up the rules.  If it is unacceptable for her to just walk - inform her that.  Again, the disagreement you had could be a factor as well - a row is a row, but who's responsibility did the fight centre on?  Lastly, has she indicated she wants back?  Or is she waiting for you to?  Personally, if she is waiting for you to make the first move, I would suggest you move - but just on without her frankly.  But then I am a hard biatch.
 
the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Love connection!! - 3/31/2008 2:35:32 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Ok, number one typing out "comes to your feet and kneels there,.." is fantasy.  If she is typing it is clear she is NOT coming to your feet and kneeling there.
If you have played with her physically in real life body to body interaction then she may be saying "please keep me in your heart" when she types that fluffy internet stuff.
Who knows how you two interact.  If you are or were her master only you two would know that.
It doesnt matter if it is a cyber relationship or a meatspace one if you are asking is it just an escape from reality for her.  Only she knows that.

But, given that you are both divorced, and widowed, with the love of your life not being the woman in question I would ask, are you sure it isn't an escape from reality for you?

Fights do not happen out of nowhere.  She is probably as confused about what you want, as you are about her.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChemistryMaster1


This is how she kneels in here letters to me:
comes to your feet and kneels there, resting my head on your knee..... whispers

Hope i didnt do wrong by copying/pasting her words to me 'cause they are private but I need ur help.
Sincerely
Pharoh 


_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


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RE: Love connection!! - 3/31/2008 2:39:02 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Just as an aside, I just saw your post on the argument on another thread.  If that is what the falling out was about, I doubt you will get a response to your question on the other thread because people will not want to hijack the thread it is on - you may want to ask it in your own thread to get responses.
 
the.dark.

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RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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