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CreativeDominant -> RE: Would guess half of "Doms" here don't have a clue (4/4/2008 7:55:56 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Othello27
Perhaps some have mistaken my comments with the idea that I am suggesting I am better than everyone.
Not hard to make that "mistake" when you start your very first thread in this way:
I know most of you female submissives know this but yeah I'll say it. A lot of guys come here because they want a living sex toy, a 24/7 live in escort for free with most of the emthisus surrounding their physical gratification and ego boosting. A lot don't understand the D/s dynamic and try to pretend they are DOM. How many here have been burned by this type of "DOM"?
And let's not forget the title..."Would guess that half of "Doms" here don't have a clue"
quote:
I should have stated a little more context. I have a friend whom is sub. Her DOM basically dumped her because she wasn't a complete rag doll in all respects. She was getting a little busy with school etc trying to get her career going and could no longer be his little sex toy on a moments notice. So rather than respecting her need to pursue her dreams he just got up and left.
O.K...the context is a bit more helpful until you start to consider this. Is this your point of view only? Is it hers, also? I seriously doubt that it is his (the dominant in question) view. As Michael stated, if he made it clear from the start what he wanted and expected and she agreed to it...then she wanted to change the dynamic without discussion and new negotiations (communication) with her dominant (which she may have done OR may not have done...we don't know from either your first post or this latest post), then he had the right to leave and pursue his dream of a submissive unencumbered. Admittedly...not a very realistic dream but if it is his and he makes that clear, can he really be faulted? He might be considered shallow by many but I harbor the opinion that others' opinions of him may not be all that important to him.
quote:
I guess I was upset because I've been telling her for a year or so that hes the type of DOM to throw away a sub if she has any needs of her own.
So you were always on her shoulder, commisserating with her? You were always undermining whatever dynamic they had? Out of ...friendship? A desire to protect? Or, an unstated desire to have her as your own?
I have no problem with any submissive I am involved with having dominant friends, male and female and submissive friends, male and female UNTIL they begin to undermine me and/or her and/or our dynamic. While it is true that in many instances, the desire to "help their friend" is a true, unselfish goal, it is also true that in many other instances, the undermining is taking place due to either dislike of the other party being undermined, a dislike of the dynamic due to it being different than what the "friend" thinks is best (a thought indicated by you in your opening post...you seem to have a problem with dominants who see their submissives as sex toys, whether they look at them in other ways or not), or just that the friend thinks they know "what is best" for their friend and this dynamic, whatever it is is, is not "it".
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