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Not Sure where I fit - 4/3/2008 12:06:32 PM

Eager78

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/31/2007
Status: offline

Iam from a family that would never understand this but I cant keep denying myself. Iam 30 years old and wish to find a woman twice my age to be with. In the lifestyle or not I would be satisfied and feel like I was fullfilling a desire that I have had since a was a small boy. I guess my question is how might I find someone. I have been in the lifestyle for 7 yrs and never been owned.

Post #: 1

RE: Not Sure where I fit - 4/3/2008 12:15:26 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

The first response from me is a question and an general observation.

First, how specific is this desire? I mean, do you really mean you want a woman exactly twice your age?

Here's the observation: The more specific our interests and kinks are, the less chances there are for us to find what we are looking for.

The more open you can be to finding a greater variety of partners, the more people will fit into those criteria. The more limited your list of what you are looking for or the more specific that list, the less people will fit into those categories.

So, try a self-reflection exercise.

Write down what you have been fantasizing about and then try to pull out what is really essential to those fantasies.

Is it really a woman twice your age or merely an older woman? Is it really connected BDSM or primarily to an age difference?

Are you looking for a fantasy to be fulfilled or a long-term dynamic?

Is this desire from a healthy place, a positive place, does it make you feel good? How much of these interests come from your childhood and from porn? How realistic are your expectations?

Ask yourself questions like this. When you understand yourself more you'll have a better chance of being able to communicate with potential partners and thus increase the chances of success.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Eager78)

Post #: 2

RE: Not Sure where I fit - 4/3/2008 12:29:16 PM

Pyrrsefanie

Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline

Better start soon, otherwise the only ones twice your age will be bordering on necro.

_____________________________

Ти саркастична, це – доля,
Ти артистична в неволі,
Ти симпатична в цій ролі,
Ти синтетична до болю

Read my series, Taking Jessica, on http://www.akashaweb.com !

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 3

RE: Not Sure where I fit - 4/3/2008 12:35:16 PM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline

quote:

Better start soon, otherwise the only ones twice your age will be bordering on necro.

Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff. I just spit water all over the screen.
Perhaps that's what he wants. Some old lady with money who is going to croak right after they get married.
In that case, try match.com and go for the geriatric section.

_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)

Post #: 4

RE: Not Sure where I fit - 4/3/2008 1:13:20 PM

ShaktiSama

Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyrrsefanie
Better start soon, otherwise the only ones twice your age will be bordering on necro.

Oh, easy to joke now! When you get to be an evil old hag yourself, you might just enjoy sinking your talons into a toothsome young buck of 30.

I say go for it, OP! Reach for that dream, shine on you crazy diamond.

Nothing wrong with an older domme, if I do say so myself. And I think posts like this are important, because quite honestly I get sick of people who take the attitude that dominant women should check out at 40 and stop wanting or expecting the sex, service and sadism they liked when they were youngun's.

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)

Post #: 5

RE: Not Sure where I fit - 4/3/2008 1:20:37 PM

hopelesslyInvo

Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline

i don't think i would completely limit who i would date just based on age, but for some reason i feel so much more comfortable with someone who is older than me.

(in reply to ShaktiSama)

Post #: 6

RE: Not Sure where I fit - 4/3/2008 1:44:50 PM

atursvcMaam

Posts: 1195
Joined: 5/10/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyrrsefanie

Better start soon, otherwise the only ones twice your age will be bordering on necro.

Yikes, not only is my computer all covered with coffee, i did the math and realized that i should probably look for a woman half my age. Было бы хорошо, если бы Она также говорила на русском языке. On the other hand old age and wisdom (or was that treachery) will beat youthful enthusiasm every time.

< Message edited by atursvcMaam -- 4/3/2008 1:49:29 PM >

_____________________________

live hard, die young and leave a good looking corpse when you die.
Love ya, but, when the zombies start chasing us, i am tripping you.
The glass is always full, the question is, "with what?"

(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)

Post #: 7

RE: Not Sure where I fit - 4/3/2008 2:57:26 PM

moldedurway

Posts: 7
Joined: 4/19/2007
Status: offline

Exactly as i argee with ShaktiSama about time everyone considers that age is not a defination on to base things ..always be open ..id say ...

(in reply to atursvcMaam)

Post #: 8

RE: Not Sure where I fit - 4/3/2008 3:04:36 PM

Pyrrsefanie

Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: atursvcMaam
Было бы хорошо, если бы Она также говорила на русском языке.

I giggled.

Good luck with that one. Although y'know, we Ukrainian women are WAY better than Russians.

_____________________________

Ти саркастична, це – доля,
Ти артистична в неволі,
Ти симпатична в цій ролі,
Ти синтетична до болю

Read my series, Taking Jessica, on http://www.akashaweb.com !

(in reply to atursvcMaam)

Post #: 9

RE: Not Sure where I fit - 4/3/2008 3:50:36 PM

atursvcMaam

Posts: 1195
Joined: 5/10/2004
Status: offline

No doubt about Ukrainian Women, Ma'am. Thanks for the giggle. in hopes to the OP, i learned Russian when the whole area was considered the Soviet Union (i was old then, too), and i am not quite dead yet.

< Message edited by atursvcMaam -- 4/3/2008 4:10:03 PM >

_____________________________

live hard, die young and leave a good looking corpse when you die.
Love ya, but, when the zombies start chasing us, i am tripping you.
The glass is always full, the question is, "with what?"

(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)

Post #: 10

RE: Not Sure where I fit - 4/3/2008 5:51:04 PM

PsyVamp

Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

And I think posts like this are important, because quite honestly I get sick of people who take the attitude that dominant women should check out at 40 and stop wanting or expecting the sex, service and sadism they liked when they were youngun's.

Dang, point me to the geezer's room ...lol. Oh, and btw- I enjoy all of it more now that I just hit the other side of 40.

OP, if you know what you want, go for it. It may take a while though, like TheTammyJo said, the more you limit yourself, the more difficult it becomes to find what you want.

Lady Jag

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to ShaktiSama)

Post #: 11

RE: Not Sure where I fit - 4/3/2008 10:37:49 PM

petpete

Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

i will have to go with Pyrrs's answer... i don't think for what you looking for you can wait any longer unless you start varying your age group... Good luck anyway..

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!

(in reply to PsyVamp)

Post #: 12

RE: Not Sure where I fit - 4/3/2008 10:39:31 PM

Pyrrsefanie

Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PsyVamp
Oh, and btw- I enjoy all of it more now that I just hit the other side of 40.

I can only hope that when I'm 40 I'm still fucking like a rabbit.

And maybe have an army of cute cabana boys to clean my pool.

_____________________________

Ти саркастична, це – доля,
Ти артистична в неволі,
Ти симпатична в цій ролі,
Ти синтетична до болю

Read my series, Taking Jessica, on http://www.akashaweb.com !

(in reply to PsyVamp)

Post #: 13

RE: Not Sure where I fit - 4/3/2008 10:42:05 PM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline

quote:

[And I think posts like this are important, because quite honestly I get sick of people who take the attitude that dominant women should check out at 40 and stop wanting or expecting the sex, service and sadism they liked when they were youngun's. /quote]

Oh, yes!! I agree wholeheartedly. What exculdes me from all the excitement about this post is that it isn't sex, sadism, or service he speaks about seeking.!! Sounds more like a "mommy" thing or just the "older woman" fetish.

_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to ShaktiSama)

Post #: 14

RE: Not Sure where I fit - 4/4/2008 12:37:57 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

I can only hope that when I'm 40 I'm still fucking like a rabbit

There is really no reason that you shouldnt be fucking like crazy at the age of 50, 60 or 70 for that matter. I am more sexual at 50 than I was at 40. It also helps to have a very hot young man who rocks your world :)

MoGa

_____________________________

(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)

Post #: 15

RE: Not Sure where I fit - 4/4/2008 2:20:01 AM

chezzy52

Posts: 220
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline

Pyrsefanie,whether you were joking or not..i am offended.Thirty years ago when i was 25 and the folks were riding me to find a nice girl,the answer was i had all the time in the world.Well i grabbed a kleenex and blew my nose and voila..i am 55.Yes it goes by that fast.So you enjoy yourself while you can and when you can and above all,respect your elders cause 30 years from now when you are making your 35,375th posting here some young whipper snapper will be saying the same thing to you.Life does have a way of biting you in the rump..or...IIWII.

(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)

Post #: 16

RE: Not Sure where I fit - 4/4/2008 5:17:42 AM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

There is really no reason that you shouldnt be fucking like crazy at the age of 50, 60 or 70 for that matter. I am more sexual at 50 than I was at 40. It also helps to have a very hot young man who rocks your world :)

MoGa

AMEN Sister! I think I'm a lot better now that I'm passed 45. When I was a teen to twenty's, I spent far to much time denying what I really wanted and molding myself into whatever a man wanted me to be. In my thirties, I tried to hide my sexuality completely and be the wife, mother, business person that 'society' told me I should be.

Because, well, we all know that the American Society - or at least the media - screams at us constantly that if you are a female over 30 years of age and/or over 115 lbs - you should roll over and die or become 'just a mom' or maybe a public service worker because no one will ever find you sexually attractive! If you missed that little window between 18 and 25 to be hot, to frelling bad!

Last year, when I was examining my life, I realized that 45 was only HALF my expected life span. I sure as hell didn't want my life to start sliding down hill from where I was... So I got my fat happy ass in a gym and started building my body back up. With physical strength, my mental, emotional and sexual 'power' returned. It's never to late to start over.

I plan on being the Hottest Mama at the Old folks home!

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 17

RE: Not Sure where I fit - 4/4/2008 5:52:55 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

quote:

I can only hope that when I'm 40 I'm still fucking like a rabbit

There is really no reason that you shouldnt be fucking like crazy at the age of 50, 60 or 70 for that matter. I am more sexual at 50 than I was at 40. It also helps to have a very hot young man who rocks your world :)

MoGa

oh.. wow.. now I'm actually looking forward to 50! I'm not sure its possible for me to be more sexual than I am now.. wooo hoo!

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 18

RE: Not Sure where I fit - 4/4/2008 5:57:29 AM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

Well I am 51, Master is 36 and the sub I am talking to is 34 ... so what's the big deal? To the OP: It's eminently feasible ... don't be too specific about wanting exactly twice your age simply to keep the gene pool a bit more open ... not that I expect to be hanging up My flogger and strap on when I hit 60! Just expect to take some time finding the RIGHT Domme ... like everyone else has to!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to MsStarlett)

Post #: 19

RE: Not Sure where I fit - 4/4/2008 8:06:17 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

OP you need to meet my brother. All of the women he has dated has been way up in age. Older than me even. At first we thought it was wierd but it is his thing so more power to him. For all of you younger women out there don't worry your sex drive will not deminish with age. If you think is is contact me. Grins.

(in reply to MaamJay)

Post #: 20

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