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BlackPhx -> RE: How do you? (4/4/2008 5:25:15 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BIllCT
If your a Dom in a relationship with a woman who says she is a submissive and she begins to top from the bottom, how would you change it so she couldn't do so, or stop her?
As easy as it would be to chum the waters for all these pun sharks and sting rays, I am going to try and inject a serious answer here.
You don't give us much to go on regarding how she is TFTB or how long you have been together so we can only offer general advice.
If she is saying things like you need to undo my left hand now, check the hand. She may not be topping but trying to let you know that the circulation is restricted.
If she is saying something like a little lower, harder, you hit like a girl..then you are not reaching her. Her pain tolerance may be higher than you are anticipating and she is trying to let you know.
If she is saying, Stop I can't handle that, then the opposit may be true. For whatever reason, she can't handle what is being done right then.
BDSM is a learning experience. Each and every Sub and SAM is different and what works for one isn't going to work for another. Without input from them, how in the heck are you to know? Heck WE are different from ourselves from day to day, somedays I could laugh in the eye of the Marquise DeSade others a clamp is too much. If I don't let Master know, he can't answer BOTH our needs and one of us is going to build resentment (depends on who gets left out of the pleasure circuit).
Stop and consider that what she is doing is not topping but communicating and listen. Consider when she is saying something, what is going on and then decide how to handle it. Just sticking a gag in her mouth may shut her up, but it may also shut out the input you need and ultimately the relationship.
poenkitten
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