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The true nature of BDSM - 4/3/2008 3:03:56 PM   
Tatsuchan18


Posts: 31
Joined: 8/26/2007
Status: offline 		While at face value, BDSM is viewed as something dark and perverted. But really, isint it a celebration of the strong bond formed between two or more people? The values that the Lifestyle teaches, things like communication, honesty, loyalty, disipline. Things that should be present in every relationships really. Though ive never seen a 'scene' in real life, i have seen pictures, and the expressions of the Dom and sub right after a flogging, they had expressions of utter happiness. Something like that. Truly accepting people for who they really are, to have nothing drowned in shadow, to have everything exposed and bathed in light. Isint that the true nature of BDSM? What do you think?
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RE: The true nature of BDSM - 4/3/2008 3:05:26 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Don't kid yourself.  People who practice bdsm aren't any more enlightened or special than vanillas. 

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RE: The true nature of BDSM - 4/3/2008 3:08:26 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		I cant stand the whole Dark referance, its pretentious and I think often at times an attempt to palce their oriantation on a pedistool, I think some people are even drawn to BDSM for the simple fact that its not the norm. But BDSM isnt one thing, differant relationships have differant goals and forms. BDSM can of course include all the things that you mentioned but doesnt have to, I think the real beauty of it is that its self expression, that its a way to get the things you need in a fairly laid out manner, and I often (not always) like the community around it, I like that being involved can give you shared interests and ideas. I have spoken to a wider variety of people in the last 18 months than I have in my entire life previously and I like the unity of it.


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RE: The true nature of BDSM - 4/3/2008 3:08:39 PM   
hejira92


Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline 		While I have many private opinions of the value of a D/s relationship in terms of honesty and communication...... I must run for the bunker when I see a thread that has the word 'True' in the title.
 
As you get more familiar with the boards, you will notice most here hate that term because it usually accompanies a value judgment- "what I think is 'twue' and what you believe isn't really BDSM."
 
So these threads usually turn into a flame-fest.
 
So, I'm off to fallout shelter. Good luck.

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RE: The true nature of BDSM - 4/3/2008 3:10:12 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		You confuse an ideal with human nature.

People are neither light or dark, they are grey.

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RE: The true nature of BDSM - 4/3/2008 3:11:46 PM   
Tatsuchan18


Posts: 31
Joined: 8/26/2007
Status: offline 		oh yeah... i guess i should of had it 'one veiw of BDSM nature' huh? oops. of course its all about everyones own personal veiw. (^^)' i really didint mean to put it as 'the one absolute veiw', sorry about that.

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RE: The true nature of BDSM - 4/3/2008 3:13:26 PM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

You confuse an ideal with human nature.

People are neither light or dark, they are grey.


I'm kind of peach myself

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RE: The true nature of BDSM - 4/3/2008 3:14:26 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

You confuse an ideal with human nature.

People are neither light or dark, they are grey.


I'm kind of peach myself


Even in the morning? I definitely feel grey before coffee.

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My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

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RE: The true nature of BDSM - 4/3/2008 4:52:19 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		I don't see BDSM as a lifestyle, I see it as a bunch of activities that people engage in. If you are referring to people engaged in D/s and M/s relationships, or a "community" of kinky folks, no, you will not find this group as a "whole" to be more honest, better at communication, more loyal, more accepting or possessing more integrity. That is a myth that gets perpetuated frequently. We have just as many shortcomings and character flaws as the rest of the world....sometimes I think they are even more commonly found here. Oh and...the relationships had here are no deeper, more emotional, more committed, more etc.....

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RE: The true nature of BDSM - 4/3/2008 5:34:02 PM   
leakylee


Posts: 747
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline 		me i am kinda rosy and over pasty colored.

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RE: The true nature of BDSM - 4/3/2008 6:02:25 PM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I don't see BDSM as a lifestyle, I see it as a bunch of activities that people engage in.


That's seems awfully simplistic to me. It's a lifestyle in the sense that most of us bring a deeper desire to those activities. The lifestyle emcompasses attitudes as well as activities.
 
Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

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RE: The true nature of BDSM - 4/3/2008 6:03:23 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tatsuchan18

While at face value, BDSM is viewed as something dark and perverted. But really, isint it a celebration of the strong bond formed between two or more people? The values that the Lifestyle teaches, things like communication, honesty, loyalty, disipline. Things that should be present in every relationships really. Though ive never seen a 'scene' in real life, i have seen pictures, and the expressions of the Dom and sub right after a flogging, they had expressions of utter happiness. Something like that. Truly accepting people for who they really are, to have nothing drowned in shadow, to have everything exposed and bathed in light. Isint that the true nature of BDSM? What do you think?


I understand people's objections to this but I actually  like it.  What saved it was the bit I put in red.  That certainly describes my journey and what I find rewarding in bdsm.

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RE: The true nature of BDSM - 4/3/2008 6:07:59 PM   
ProfJoe


Posts: 75
Joined: 6/7/2007
Status: offline 		According to Jack Rinella: "It depends."

Most everything is that way.

I know some folk in BDSM who really are pretty sick sunzabitches. One saint. Lotsa normal folks with perverted sexual tastes. Some of them like power exchange, too.

Why not write a book?

ProfJoe

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: The true nature of BDSM - 4/3/2008 6:40:37 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Don't kid yourself.  People who practice bdsm aren't any more enlightened or special than vanillas. 

Yeah, everyone says that....But I have had my share of vanilla relationships and I can tell you that none of them were as special or as enlightened as my relationship with Michael... Although I long ago realized that I hit the jackpot with the first roll of the dice...

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RE: The true nature of BDSM - 4/3/2008 6:44:36 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tatsuchan18

While at face value, BDSM is viewed as something dark and perverted. But really, isint it a celebration of the strong bond formed between two or more people? The values that the Lifestyle teaches, things like communication, honesty, loyalty, disipline. Things that should be present in every relationships really. Though ive never seen a 'scene' in real life, i have seen pictures, and the expressions of the Dom and sub right after a flogging, they had expressions of utter happiness. Something like that. Truly accepting people for who they really are, to have nothing drowned in shadow, to have everything exposed and bathed in light. Isint that the true nature of BDSM? What do you think?

The true nature of BDSM is that I enjoy flogging my slave.

The true nature of BDSM is that if all you've seen are pics, you ain't seen much.

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RE: The true nature of BDSM - 4/3/2008 6:45:59 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		romantic.. nice.. but in the end, bdsm.. or leather as I prefer.. or was raised up to view it...is an orientation.. no different than me being a dyke.. part of who I am.. not a role, or lifestyle.. but who I am..its my life

its all good though

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RE: The true nature of BDSM - 4/3/2008 6:46:36 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Don't kid yourself. People who practice bdsm aren't any more enlightened or special than vanillas.

Yeah, everyone says that....But I have had my share of vanilla relationships and I can tell you that none of them were as special or as enlightened as my relationship with Michael... Although I long ago realized that I hit the jackpot with the first roll of the dice...

I have a similar feeling about my slave. However, my slave is what makes the relationship special, not the kink. The kink is merely a consequence of who we are.

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RE: The true nature of BDSM - 4/3/2008 6:54:25 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		I wholeheartedly agree..

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RE: The true nature of BDSM - 4/3/2008 6:56:24 PM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		BDSM isn't utopia. Not even close. It's composed of human beings, all of whom are a little "off" from most of the people you meet on the street. But then, everyone on Earth is kinda "broken" in one way or another. We just happen to be the brand of people who like screwing around with power dynamics in the bedroom, or engaging in sex that is not considered mainstream.

But I've met just as many abusive, rude, out and out creeps at play parties as I have at church socials. Along the way, I also met some pretty cool ones too. I filter out the bad, and try to keep the better ones in my life.

(That's the way to live better. Be selective in whom you allow into your life.)

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RE: The true nature of BDSM - 4/3/2008 7:09:03 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		It's funny you say that because I've seen more posturing and people -not- being who they 'truly' are because they think they need to live up to some stereotype of a Dominant, submissive, or kinky pervert, etc in the scene than not.


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