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tributes - 4/4/2008 5:22:06 AM

cyberchastity

Posts: 5
Joined: 1/18/2008
Status: offline

Why do some Dommes(and possibly Doms) not state clearly if they require a tribute as it is euphemistically known? Most Dommes are keen to point out how precious their time is so why do they not make it obvious from the outset that they require something over and above servitude or slavery?

Post #: 1

RE: tributes - 4/4/2008 5:25:41 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

Because they want to increase the number of people who contact them.

_____________________________

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There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to cyberchastity)

Post #: 2

RE: tributes - 4/4/2008 5:30:25 AM

Kirren

Posts: 580
Joined: 9/5/2007
Status: offline

Stating that a tribute is required on your profile is a violation of TOS, as far as I knew. I could be wrong. I dunno. And also, there seems to be some confusion as to the status of a Pro Domme that requires tribute versus a hooker as far as the users of this site are concerned...So...that may be why as well.

Could be also, because they are just shady like that. I have on My profile that I am a Professional Sadist. I get lots of replies...and I reply to those...but...I dont/havent schedualed any sessions from here.

_____________________________

Everything has been said before
There's nothing left to say anymore
When it's all the same
You can ask for it by name

Did I fail to mention...I am a BITCH?

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 3

RE: tributes - 4/4/2008 5:58:55 AM

johntom571

Posts: 63
Joined: 7/17/2006
Status: offline

IMHO, you'd have to be pretty desperate to pay someone to Dominate you. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with someone paying or paying paid for services sought and rendered. But I have about as much respect for a sub and the Dom/me who collects a "tribute", as I do for a John and the whore he pays for a trick.

my 2 cents

JohnTom

(in reply to Kirren)

Post #: 4

RE: tributes - 4/4/2008 6:00:31 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

Its such a shame you have so narrow a view of the world...there are several reasons why someone might pay... but obviously that's too much for you to imgine...

and to no one in particular.. I hate this stupid debate...

< Message edited by Madame4a -- 4/4/2008 6:03:52 AM >

(in reply to johntom571)

Post #: 5

RE: tributes - 4/4/2008 6:05:08 AM

Ebonybbw

Posts: 114
Joined: 12/2/2007
Status: offline

Nothing in life is free

_____________________________

Mistress Ebony
Miami's Newest Supersized Domme
http://yourebonybbw.googlepages.com/mistressebony

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 6

RE: tributes - 4/4/2008 6:34:33 AM

johntom571

Posts: 63
Joined: 7/17/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

Its such a shame you have so narrow a view of the world...there are several reasons why someone might pay... but obviously that's too much for you to imgine...

I will dispense with your own superficial assessment of how narrow my view of the world actually is. But i would be curious as to what those "several reasons" might be

JT

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 7

RE: tributes - 4/4/2008 6:46:51 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

discretion

a need to "pay for it" .. which can be a compulsion for some

lack of other outlets in the area

time

professional services are often that.. professional and might, just might be better suited for some... no guarantees in an unregulated business... but.. its possible

not wanting to get all tied up or obligated in a relationship

get it when you want it, for the most part

and I'm sure there are more... in fact I know there are.. why don't YOU do some thinking on it

(in reply to johntom571)

Post #: 8

RE: tributes - 4/4/2008 7:10:52 AM

AtlantaMistress

Posts: 276
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirren

Stating that a tribute is required on your profile is a violation of TOS, as far as I knew. I could be wrong. I dunno. And also, there seems to be some confusion as to the status of a Pro Domme that requires tribute versus a hooker as far as the users of this site are concerned...So...that may be why as well.

Could be also, because they are just shady like that. I have on My profile that I am a Professional Sadist. I get lots of replies...and I reply to those...but...I dont/havent schedualed any sessions from here.

Stating a Tribute is Required is not a violation of the TOS - I have had it stated since day ONE.

The OP is not debating why the need for the tribute...but Madame4a - thank you for giving some reasons why Pros exist since johntom may have hurt his head trying to think of them.

As I understand the OP - it is why it is NOT in someones profile. I suppose it could be to get others to contact them that otherwise wouldn't, or because of opinions of Pro Dommes in general, but I think that the respectable Pros have NO PROBLEM putting it right out there, right up front - not trying to play games. Unfortunately, it is not a regulated business, and there are those bad eggs that give us all a reputation. No matter what you look at in life, there will be good and bad - and we usually spend more time whining about the bad then applauding the good.

_____________________________

Mistress Sandy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'd rather be hated for something I am than loved for something I am not.

(in reply to Kirren)

Post #: 9

RE: tributes - 4/4/2008 7:12:40 AM

johntom571

Posts: 63
Joined: 7/17/2006
Status: offline

Interesting arguments:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a
discretion

and amateur Dommes can't be discreet?

quote:

a need to "pay for it" .. which can be a compulsion for some

like gambling i suppose. sounds like accepting money is part of the problem, not to solution

quote:

lack of other outlets in the area

are we talking about death valley or alaska? i can't think of any semi-populated area that doesn't have kinksters handy

quote:

time

as in "taking the time to establish a meaningful trust-based relationship"? silly me, listening to all those subs that cringe when pseudo-doms expect them to submit on the basis of a one-liner message!

quote:

professional services are often that.. professional and might, just might be better suited for some... no guarantees in an unregulated business... but.. its possible
not wanting to get all tied up or obligated in a relationship
get it when you want it, for the most part

see comment above about HNG and instant gratification

and I'm sure there are more... in fact I know there are.. why don't YOU do some thinking on it

yeah, you know what? i'm still not convinced there is a difference. but then I haven't reached the level of desperation needed to rationalise otherwise. but thanks for the information anyway :)

JT

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 10

RE: tributes - 4/4/2008 7:19:13 AM

cyberchastity

Posts: 5
Joined: 1/18/2008
Status: offline

thank you for getting back on message Mistress Sandy.Would a sub who did not want to pay,and was then told a tribute was required just suddenly go "oh all right then"?I don't think so,I know I wouldn't.

(in reply to AtlantaMistress)

Post #: 11

RE: tributes - 4/4/2008 7:50:58 AM

TermsConditions

Posts: 446
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: johntom571

Interesting arguments:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a
discretion

and amateur Dommes can't be discreet?

quote:

a need to "pay for it" .. which can be a compulsion for some

like gambling i suppose. sounds like accepting money is part of the problem, not to solution

quote:

lack of other outlets in the area

are we talking about death valley or alaska? i can't think of any semi-populated area that doesn't have kinksters handy

quote:

time

as in "taking the time to establish a meaningful trust-based relationship"? silly me, listening to all those subs that cringe when pseudo-doms expect them to submit on the basis of a one-liner message!

quote:

professional services are often that.. professional and might, just might be better suited for some... no guarantees in an unregulated business... but.. its possible
not wanting to get all tied up or obligated in a relationship
get it when you want it, for the most part

see comment above about HNG and instant gratification

and I'm sure there are more... in fact I know there are.. why don't YOU do some thinking on it

yeah, you know what? i'm still not convinced there is a difference. but then I haven't reached the level of desperation needed to rationalise otherwise. but thanks for the information anyway :)

JT

I realize that on teh Interwebs logic and reason never stand in the way of a good argument.

I would submit (really I would, given the oppy) that the existence of dommes requiring tribute proves their necessity.

Without Demand there is no Supply.

Last time I checked there is no new powers of the Federal Reserve, UN office, or facitily of the World Bank dictating a centralized World Sex / Power Exchange Economic Policy requiring tribute to dommes.

_____________________________

TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

(in reply to johntom571)

Post #: 12

RE: tributes - 4/4/2008 7:52:48 AM

metamorpha

Posts: 35
Joined: 4/2/2008
Status: offline

A lot of interesting points were brought up.

If a Domme expects a tribute and chooses not to put that in Her profile, obviously it should come up at some point BEFORE a session. For some it may be a small gift like the sub bringing flowers or chocolates, for others it may be money. She should make clear what She expects in advance and before a relationship has had much time to build so that the sub knows exactly what they are getting into.

JT, to answer some of your points, I have had men beg me to blackmail them. I actually set up a scenario for one who would bring me a bag with 10,000 Pounds in it (he was British) and I told him that before he left I would simply take a 20 Pound note out and give him back the rest. He didn't want that - he wanted true blackmail. For some there is an excitement in paying. It is the job of the Mistress to fulfill a sub's needs or there is no reason for him to come to her. Would she be wrong to spank him to the point of welts if he asked for it? Taking his money is the same thing. Someone that was being judgmental could feel that either was feeding his sickness, when from the lifestyle perspective it is fulfilling his fantasy.

As for availability of Mistresses, no - they are not always easy to find. People from around the world use CM to meet people, and I often read complaints that someone can not find a Mistress near them.

Some subs will go to someone that they have to pay, as previously brought out, because they can keep themselves from becoming emotionally entangled. It is a way of drawing a line in their mind - since I have to pay She will never expect me to love her. They compartmentalize. Personally I have found far more subs that are at the opposite end of the spectrum, that are hoping not only to love their Mistress but to have Her love them back, but in some cases the sub prefers to set an appointment, go for their session, and then make a clean exit. For them I see a session as more of a type of therapy. They are going to a trained professional who is helping them to work through their needs.

(in reply to cyberchastity)

Post #: 13

RE: tributes - 4/4/2008 8:00:41 AM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

Whores have sex with their clients...smart Pro Dommees don't.

Besides whatever happened to people doing what they love and getting paid to do it? Last I checked that concept was something that the vast majority of individuals strive for.

As for finding a Domme who doesn't ask for tribute. Stop looking online. Go to an event and your chances to meet and get involved with a Domme on a personal basis (as opposed to Professional) greatly increase. And face it...there's fewer Dommes than there are male s-types. Meaning you hav to compete...from go. You have to offer them something in yourself that's "more" than what someone else can offer.

(in reply to metamorpha)

Post #: 14

RE: tributes - 4/4/2008 10:06:37 AM

khem

Posts: 300
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TermsConditions

I would submit (really I would, given the oppy) that the existence of dommes requiring tribute proves their necessity.

Without Demand there is no Supply.

Last time I checked there is no new powers of the Federal Reserve, UN office, or facitily of the World Bank dictating a centralized World Sex / Power Exchange Economic Policy requiring tribute to dommes.

I'm not a "tribute" Domme, but you just made me say "amen!" Cause no one would be advertising for it if men didn't seek it. End of story.

(in reply to TermsConditions)

Post #: 15

RE: tributes - 4/5/2008 4:37:51 AM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

One other point has not been covered.

Do you consider 'gifts' to be tribute? Tribute, Gift or Investment - I'm assuming that some with tight purse strings would think it is all the same.

On other threads... people have commented that Pro Dommes have a very real investment in what they do... they have to have space, equipment, clothing... (No guy wants a Domme dressed in coveralls! Well, maybe if you had a hill billy fetish.) These things all cost money.

Even in internet D/s situations, the Domme has an investment. Speaking strictly from personal experience, I believe that Subs need to contribute something to the pot. Doesn't need to be cash. Doesn't need to be a financial burden. Just SOMETHING! Some subs are extremely entertaining and lavish attention on their Domme (ok, me.) Some build or make things. Some volunteer house or garden work. (Some really enjoy that!)

But even those who are far away and will never meet their Domme face to face to perform actual services want good PHOTOS of their Domme. That's an investment of time, effort and money on the part of the Domme. She has to arrange for a location, a photographer, provide props and wardrobe, have her hair and make up done... then spend the day playing 'model' which isn't normally as glamorous as it sounds. (I've got one photographer who's motto is "I don't care how uncomfortable you are, you have to LOOK good!")

If a sub has a specific fetish and wants photos of his favorite Domme geared toward his needs... then he should be contributing something toward making that happen. Personally, I've got a couple of subs with shoe fetishes... (Always fun!) They want pics of my feet in sexy shoes. OK... Send me some! I'm not a hateful, greedy bitch. (Well sometimes, but that's another story.) I have a WONDERFUL website that sells fetish shoes for under $10 a pair. If a sub is to frelling tight fisted to buy a pair of $10 shoes or $3 stockings or a dress off an internet markdown site... then he needs to go cruise some Free Porn sites and leave real women alone.

(in reply to khem)

Post #: 16

RE: tributes - 4/5/2008 8:32:16 AM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

woohoo another tribute/pro thread....thanks for the laugh!

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.

I am flawed.

Imperfect.

MUST SPANK!!!

SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to MsStarlett)

Post #: 17

RE: tributes - 4/5/2008 9:42:00 AM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

Post #: 18

RE: tributes - 4/5/2008 10:11:44 AM

TermsConditions

Posts: 446
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

One other point has not been covered.

Do you consider 'gifts' to be tribute? Tribute, Gift or Investment - I'm assuming that some with tight purse strings would think it is all the same.

On other threads... people have commented that Pro Dommes have a very real investment in what they do... they have to have space, equipment, clothing... (No guy wants a Domme dressed in coveralls! Well, maybe if you had a hill billy fetish.) These things all cost money.

Even in internet D/s situations, the Domme has an investment. Speaking strictly from personal experience, I believe that Subs need to contribute something to the pot. Doesn't need to be cash. Doesn't need to be a financial burden. Just SOMETHING! Some subs are extremely entertaining and lavish attention on their Domme (ok, me.) Some build or make things. Some volunteer house or garden work. (Some really enjoy that!)

But even those who are far away and will never meet their Domme face to face to perform actual services want good PHOTOS of their Domme. That's an investment of time, effort and money on the part of the Domme. She has to arrange for a location, a photographer, provide props and wardrobe, have her hair and make up done... then spend the day playing 'model' which isn't normally as glamorous as it sounds. (I've got one photographer who's motto is "I don't care how uncomfortable you are, you have to LOOK good!")

If a sub has a specific fetish and wants photos of his favorite Domme geared toward his needs... then he should be contributing something toward making that happen. Personally, I've got a couple of subs with shoe fetishes... (Always fun!) They want pics of my feet in sexy shoes. OK... Send me some! I'm not a hateful, greedy bitch. (Well sometimes, but that's another story.) I have a WONDERFUL website that sells fetish shoes for under $10 a pair. If a sub is to frelling tight fisted to buy a pair of $10 shoes or $3 stockings or a dress off an internet markdown site... then he needs to go cruise some Free Porn sites and leave real women alone.

Very, very good points MsStarlett. There are real costs to any effort.

Professionally, I primarily vend my time so I'm very much in touch with tangible and time (opportunity) costs involved in any endevour. Domming" (verb, meaning to domme) seems like a huge investment in time and energy at the very least regardless of one's professional status.

It would seem that any successful relationship is a common effort requiring an equitable investment of all parties. Whether the currency is time, attention, emotional involvement, control, blood, sweat, toil and tears, or tangible benefits such as security, practical necessities, or even cash-credit-charge.

Looking at such questions through the lens of "the lifestyle" seems to reveal and emphasise relational tensions to a high level of relief. Maybe this explains part of my fascination with the whole thing.

_____________________________

TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

(in reply to MsStarlett)

Post #: 19

RE: tributes - 4/5/2008 10:15:32 AM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

sigh....thats not me thats being beaten in that icon....

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.

I am flawed.

Imperfect.

MUST SPANK!!!

SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to kc692)

Post #: 20

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