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RE: How to react - 10/6/2005 3:20:27 PM   
tarnishedhalo777


Posts: 119
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Fawne


quote:

ORIGINAL: Dracironsgirl


sorry that happened, i relate a lot but i feel a real Dom wouldnt conduct Himself in such a lowly way, reminds me a lot of Vanilla world where bad form like that runs abundant (my opinion) .....personally i say good to see His true colors now rather than later, even tho the pain is still felt, it is His loss for sure.


Dracironsgirl: Sadly, some real life, in person, Doms (humans) are just as "incapable" as to be honorable, too. Even someone a person has dated, related, been intimate with. Promises...then?

Real life abandonment sucks even worse.

all the best to you and all!


It's not just the Doms...subs do it too...and i'm sure for every woman that makes that complaint, a guy will make one too.
It's the player,lack of decency and respect,thing that is so rampant in life these days.

_____________________________

I will not die the death of loneliness by being afraid to love and afraid to get hurt. I will not commit figurative suicide by leaving my potential underdeveloped because I am afraid to take risks.

(in reply to Fawne)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: How to react - 10/6/2005 3:43:34 PM   
nelbot


Posts: 95
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

sorry that happened, i relate a lot but i feel a real Dom wouldnt conduct Himself in such a lowly way, reminds me a lot of Vanilla world where bad form like that runs abundant (my opinion)


While you are entitled to your opinion, mine is thus: The BDSM world is just like vanilla or anything else, let's not romantize that we kinky folks are above human foibles. There are jerks, creeps and just inconsiderate idiots everywhere, the "lifestyle" is no different.

< Message edited by nelbot -- 10/6/2005 3:45:05 PM >

_____________________________

In life there are no winners, only saints and sinners
of pleasure and pain both have their gain for
what is a devil but an angel in bondage?

(in reply to Dracironsgirl)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: How to react - 10/6/2005 3:49:38 PM   
ownedjulia


Posts: 218
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nelbot



quote:

sorry that happened, i relate a lot but i feel a real Dom wouldnt conduct Himself in such a lowly way, reminds me a lot of Vanilla world where bad form like that runs abundant (my opinion)


While you are entitled to your opinion, mine is thus: The BDSM world is just like vanilla or anything else, let's not romantize that we kinky folks are above human foibles. There are jerks, creeps and just inconsiderate idiots everywhere, the "lifestyle" is no different.


In a lot of ways the BDSM world can be WORSE.

The internet gives easy access to idiots, fools and 'wannabe's. I'm sure a lot of use have had 'kneel bitch' style emails and that goes to show you the type of people that can inhabit BDSM cyberspace.


_____________________________

~julia
owned slave and proud of it!

(in reply to nelbot)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: How to react - 10/6/2005 4:52:21 PM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dracironsgirl
i relate a lot but i feel a real Dom wouldnt conduct Himself in such a lowly way, reminds me a lot of Vanilla world where bad form like that runs abundant (my opinion)


Hate to burst your happy BDSM bubble, but people are people. It doesn't require special honor or whatthehellever to be a d-type in a BDSM relationship.

BDSM people do not corner the market on ethical behavior. People are people.

(in reply to Dracironsgirl)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: How to react - 10/7/2005 10:40:00 AM   
Fawne


Posts: 462
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tarnishedhalo777
It's not just the Doms...subs do it too...and i'm sure for every woman that makes that complaint, a guy will make one too.
It's the player,lack of decency and respect,thing that is so rampant in life these days.


Yes, tarnishedhalo7777: it can be anyone. We are all human. Players? Sure. No gender; orientation excluded.
I do know that fear of the unknown, emotional confusion - conflict of identity do complicate things. Such as life. This is not an easy path, huh?

Gratefully: brave souls do exist. Those who keep it real. Even when it's hard. I respect that.

Thankfully, and IMHO most people try their best and at least mean well. I know I do.

fawne


(in reply to tarnishedhalo777)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: How to react - 10/8/2005 5:54:49 AM   
PagerNY


Posts: 6
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Yes it does suck when this happens.
I have had a sub here, we talked for weeks, on line and via phone.
She souded very mixed up but I did perservere.
We finally met, and played, and it was very nice...
We set another date, which she broke, and another.
Now she will not evern say hello anymore, will not acknowledge me,
and left me with no real feelings toward her.
I tried to help her, spent long hours talking her through problems and pursuing her
only to be spit in the face.
I see she is still here looking, but for what? got me...
Pager

(in reply to lonewolf05)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How to react - 10/8/2005 1:54:16 PM   
sweetpettjenny


Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		just chalk it up to a learning experience, and be happy it didn't go further and more hurt occured.

(in reply to ropesubby39)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: How to react - 10/8/2005 2:31:38 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

I'd say it's more about them than you.


What he said! This guy was probably just playing. Or married. Or both. Would you also believe that some can get "weird" when it gets close to actually having to meet? It's like they feel the fear and run away. Possibly he realized that *you* will know that he isn't what he claimed to be.





(in reply to sweetpettjenny)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How to react - 10/8/2005 2:39:00 PM   
MeisterGeek


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetpettjenny

just chalk it up to a learning experience, and be happy it didn't go further and more hurt occured.


Hmmm ... at my current rate of "learning experiences", I should be a farkin' genius by now! Granted my approach is a bit off the norm (I actually know the difference between "dominate" and "dominant", for example) but it would be nice to get acknowledgement for the effort put into crafting each one out of nothing but the highest possible quality of pixels.

MG

(in reply to sweetpettjenny)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: How to react - 10/8/2005 5:23:48 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

What he said! This guy was probably just playing. Or married. Or both. Would you also believe that some can get "weird" when it gets close to actually having to meet? It's like they feel the fear and run away. Possibly he realized that *you* will know that he isn't what he claimed to be.


Katy I think you just came up with the concise answer to all of these posts on all forums for why did xyz dom/me/sub/slave disappear/block all of a sudden.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: How to react - 10/12/2005 2:59:03 AM   
ropesubby39


Posts: 112
Joined: 9/30/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you all for the replies and did i learn...........oh yesssssssss

have a good one!

ropesubby

(in reply to tarnishedhalo777)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: How to react - 10/13/2005 8:15:49 PM   
CanYouMakeMeFly


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/12/2005
Status: offline 		There are many players here as there are other lifestyle sites and real time.

Many game players. Many manipulators who will linger.., learn about you.., play to you.., and when somone 'fresh' or more challenging comes along - *poof*.

Are you too sensitive - yes if you take it personally. It's not YOU. If they aren't 'real' and able to be 'real' - you don't want to know them anyway. No matter how smooth they presented themselves.

How do you handle it? Personally, I've choosen to invest in a big bottle of 'Bug Be Gone' and use it whenever the pests become annoying.

Never settle.., and don't wait around on someone. If they can't be true to their word, their word means nothing. Actions speak louder than words in those cases.

(in reply to ropesubby39)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: How to react - 10/14/2005 12:52:40 PM   
Hallittlelolita


Posts: 253
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline 		Forget get him and move on

Sincerely andie and her Master Hal

(in reply to ropesubby39)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: How to react - 10/14/2005 2:11:06 PM   
ropesubby39


Posts: 112
Joined: 9/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hallittlelolita

Forget get him and move on

Sincerely andie and her Master Hal


I did move on, but the scars will take awhile to heal, ok i am slow, but its his loss, not mine

ropesubby

(in reply to Hallittlelolita)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: How to react - 10/16/2005 2:48:00 PM   
submissivesilk


Posts: 154
Joined: 1/30/2005
Status: offline 		rope, to me that is the worst possible thing a person can do to another person online. To just disappear gives the other person no closure. i've had it happen and months later i'm still wondering what happened, what i did wrong, even if i have found someone else that i like better.

People can say it's the net, etc... but when you get used to talking to someone everyday and things seem to be going great, and then suddenly they are gone, it can be just like losing someone in real life.

i really do feel for you, i can empathize in fact. i hope you resolve this within yourself.

peace be with you
silk

(in reply to ropesubby39)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: How to react - 10/16/2005 10:46:32 PM   
wipmebeetme100


Posts: 198
Joined: 7/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:


I did move on, but the scars will take awhile to heal, ok i am slow, but its his loss, not mine


Scars??? heal???? Maybe i am missing something here. This is just a Dom that you talked to over the internet, right? You had never met him....you weren't in a relationship with him? He said "I'll talk to you this evening" and you have not heard back from him? Is that correct?
This reminds me of when i am leaving the bank, (or anyone else that i have had interactions with others) and i say to the teller, "See you later." Well maybe i will and maybe i won't. But i would hate to think that i have left them with scars that will take time to heal.
Instant messaging over the internet does not a committment make.

Peace,
cathy

(in reply to ropesubby39)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: How to react - 10/16/2005 11:12:37 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wipmebeetme100

quote:


I did move on, but the scars will take awhile to heal, ok i am slow, but its his loss, not mine


Scars??? heal???? Maybe i am missing something here. This is just a Dom that you talked to over the internet, right? You had never met him....you weren't in a relationship with him? He said "I'll talk to you this evening" and you have not heard back from him? Is that correct?
This reminds me of when i am leaving the bank, (or anyone else that i have had interactions with others) and i say to the teller, "See you later." Well maybe i will and maybe i won't. But i would hate to think that i have left them with scars that will take time to heal.
Instant messaging over the internet does not a committment make.

Peace,
cathy


While I'm not a fan of the cyber world, I think there are some people who can form firm attachments to people they have not met. Losing in that kind of relationship can really hurt.

After all, I don't hear much criticism of women who chose to submit to and marry a man who has been dead for two thousand years and who they will only be joined with after their own death. Definitely not my scene, but it does happen.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to wipmebeetme100)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: How to react - 10/17/2005 2:22:49 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		John Warren:
quote:

I think there are some people who can form firm attachments to people they have not met. Losing in that kind of relationship can really hurt.


I have to agree with that. The person is disclosing, sharing, getting to know the other person, probably with a hopeful feeling. There can be a degree of pain involved, even if you've not met the person. And some people form attachments easily, while others are just playing.

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: How to react - 10/17/2005 3:25:59 PM   
ropesubby39


Posts: 112
Joined: 9/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wipmebeetme100

quote:


I did move on, but the scars will take awhile to heal, ok i am slow, but its his loss, not mine


Scars??? heal???? Maybe i am missing something here. This is just a Dom that you talked to over the internet, right? You had never met him....you weren't in a relationship with him? He said "I'll talk to you this evening" and you have not heard back from him? Is that correct?
This reminds me of when i am leaving the bank, (or anyone else that i have had interactions with others) and i say to the teller, "See you later." Well maybe i will and maybe i won't. But i would hate to think that i have left them with scars that will take time to heal.
Instant messaging over the internet does not a committment make.

Peace,
cathy


I meant to heal the scars is that it really shook up my self-esteem that took me a longtime to regain. Unfortunately, i get attached to some ppl i meet or talk online also, i am very sensitive girl. But with experiences, i will be stronger in not letting myself believe everything ppl say.

ropesubby

(in reply to wipmebeetme100)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: How to react - 10/17/2005 4:11:57 PM   
felineone


Posts: 92
Joined: 6/24/2004
Status: offline 		Hmm sometimes they have been cheating and get caught!.... so must disapear until they can figure out a new way to cheat without getting caught. I've seen this happen more than once.

(in reply to ropesubby39)
Profile   Post #: 40
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