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RE: Stunned by a crappy attitude - 4/5/2008 7:05:40 PM

Emperor1956

Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

I find this guy sad, and laughable. I come at this from a different perspective: I am blessed by material wealth, something that I believe (and reinforce with my offspring) is not a right, but a lucky obligation. I earned my money, by the way (and don't get me wrong...I'm not in the 8 zeros club...but thank God, I'm very comfortable). I detest this sort of financial eliteism.

In fact, I've found people who do what we do to be somewhat egalitarian. Wealth is pretty irrelevant to what we share -- once you get past the fancier toys, and the nicer dungeon game, when you strip down in a club, material wealth is pretty useless. My slave of many years works in a classic "pink collar" job. But for the happy accident that she loves to be beaten (and I love to beat her) we probably never would have met. But we did meet and formed a life-long M/s connection. Where would my happiness be if I'd worried about her 1040 gross income first? I have many friends who, if I really cared to think about it, have a net worth of less than a 10th of mine -- and a few who I measure out as 1/10th of their boodle. BFD.

I've never joined a country club (golf bores me to death!). I hope this guy is very very happy...jerking off alone into his Tiffany cum catcher.

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 21

RE: Stunned by a crappy attitude - 4/5/2008 7:08:31 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

This is a common theme. I started my first bdsm group for similar reasons but with far less attitude. I wanted something with a bit more ambiance than a torn open bag of tacos tossed on a kitchen table in an unkempt suburban house.

I used to hate the old Castlebar in San Francisco because it was an ugly warehouse and I love both Edges and Citadel because they are beautiful and artsy.

However, anyone who equates money with intelligence or class usually lacks both.

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 22

RE: Stunned by a crappy attitude - 4/5/2008 7:14:40 PM

TermsConditions

Posts: 446
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I know it really shouldn't surprise me, because I know that people in the D/s realm are a real slice of the population...but still this one just made my jaw drop.

I received an email from "Dom" in our area that wants to form a BDSM group that is for people with good jobs and good incomes. Not for the people "that are nearly homeless".

I wrote back and told him that maybe he needed to rethink his words because his email came across as condescending. Also, not once did he ever use the word "please". He instructed those not interested in joining to forward his email to their friends. Not "please forward" just forward.

He wrote back telling me that he was obviously better educated than I am and that he obviously was in a better position than I am (he doesn't know me)...and then went on to say: "We are much much better than those that need food stamps to eat dinner tonight.. :) "

Wow....just wow.....

I have a friend with an MBA who worked for a financial company that just went under. She lost her job, her entire 401K and is now trying to support herself and her two children on a fraction of her salary. She was divorced several years ago and her deadbeat husband hasn't paid child support in 4 years. She 's surviving on unemployment compensation and food stamps while trying to find another job. And he thinks he's better than her...

Well, at least one thing is for sure....I'll be forwarding that second email to all of my friends.

They say that beauty is skin deep but ugly is to the bone. This is the kind of ugly they are talking about. On the flipside, this guy sounds like the kind of asshole all the girls went out with when I was in school and couldn't get a date.

_____________________________

TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 23

RE: Stunned by a crappy attitude - 4/5/2008 7:21:28 PM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

I'd make a response to this thread, but I'd like to get a few things first.

Please send me proof of income, a bank statement, credit card statement and photo ID, together with photo's of your car and house, and I'll see if you're good enough to respond to.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to TermsConditions)

Post #: 24

RE: Stunned by a crappy attitude - 4/5/2008 8:31:52 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

My pool is bigger than your pool!

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I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 25

RE: Stunned by a crappy attitude - 4/5/2008 11:35:07 PM

tahlly

Posts: 57
Status: offline

While I agree that his wording ( provided of course that you used the correct wording that he did in his original email to you ) is not the best way to make friends; I fail to see why his solicitation of ‘above average income’ members is looked upon so harshly.

His idea is no different than that of an exclusive country club; group; etc…they too, only accept applications of members who have an ‘above average income’.

Personally, I find that the idea has merit.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 26

RE: Stunned by a crappy attitude - 4/6/2008 4:49:59 AM

wisteriaV

Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline

We dont have a pool, but we live on the St. Lawrence River, would that qualify us? LOL

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(in reply to tahlly)

Post #: 27

RE: Stunned by a crappy attitude - 4/6/2008 6:22:28 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Kinda like the Tantra group I ran across that implied "no fat people". At least they only implied it. People's attitudes often impress us...in negative ways. Now you know that guy's biggest fears...and he's probably totaly unaware of how well he announced them to the community.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 28

RE: Stunned by a crappy attitude - 4/6/2008 7:51:41 AM

domeeagle

Posts: 2
Joined: 11/12/2006
Status: offline

I would encourage him to form this group...especially if he can convince like-minded people to join him....
this way our groups will be cleaner......

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 29

RE: Stunned by a crappy attitude - 4/6/2008 8:37:40 AM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
He wrote back telling me that he was obviously better educated than I am and that he obviously was in a better position than I am (he doesn't know me)...and then went on to say: "We are much much better than those that need food stamps to eat dinner tonight.. :) "

Wow....just wow.....

Well, I could give a lengthy reply for how messed up his attitude is but it brings back recent bad memories of another thread where another fellow referred to the unwealthy as "those people." I thought it was classist, sick and wrong but I was apparently in the minority and then I was called a "snob" for expressing that he should somehow hold a different, more enlightened view

Sounds like an arrogant ass who doesn't realize how easily he could wind up in another's shoes................luci

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 4/6/2008 8:38:06 AM >

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 30

RE: Stunned by a crappy attitude - 4/6/2008 9:11:33 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tahlly

While I agree that his wording ( provided of course that you used the correct wording that he did in his original email to you ) is not the best way to make friends; I fail to see why his solicitation of ‘above average income’ members is looked upon so harshly.

As I said, I have no issue with a group that wants members with enough disposable income to be actively involved in travel, etc. My issue was with his attitude.

He was arrogant enough with me to not even include a single "please" or "thank you". He mocked those who are struggling. That last sentence is directly out of his email. His email was actually worse than what I wrote. I paraphrased because we cannot cut and paste due to TOS.

I was personally tickled by the fact that he believes that the only reason someone would decline membership would be if they didn't qualify, ie: unedcuated, poor, almost homeless. He didn't get the fact, that the reason I declined was because I thought he was an arrogant, elitest jackass and I didn't want to belong to a group whose mantra was "We're better than the people using food stamps to eat eat dinner tonight."

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to tahlly)

Post #: 31

RE: Stunned by a crappy attitude - 4/6/2008 9:54:32 AM

MladyHathor

Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

today Mr Attitude is an arrogant Bushite trying to hang on to bad self impression--tomorrow he is laid off and one of oohhh about 80,000 people in the new unemployment line and one of 437,000 who were once employed--oh and an education doesn't move one to the head of the line---pfffttt people never cease to amaze Me in their completely ignorant arrogance.

_____________________________

The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 32

RE: Stunned by a crappy attitude - 4/6/2008 1:05:37 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

~Fast Reply~

I wouldn't join that group. I hate the attitudes of those who think money somehow makes a person better. I've never had a good time with anyone who thought like that. It strikes me as the sort of place where a dominant with a flogger costing under 500 would be laughed out of the room and any sub/slave whose owner didn't make X amount of money would be told she needed a "real" owner.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 33

RE: Stunned by a crappy attitude - 4/6/2008 1:30:15 PM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

He wrote back telling me that he was obviously better educated than I am and that he obviously was in a better position than I am (he doesn't know me)...and then went on to say: "We are much much better than those that need food stamps to eat dinner tonight.. :) "

OGirl,

There aclass folks in all walks of life and yes even here on the path.

Hope the move went well.

CP

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 34

RE: Stunned by a crappy attitude - 4/6/2008 1:54:18 PM

quietlyblushing

Posts: 5
Joined: 4/3/2008
Status: offline

What a jerk. Just because someone make less money than you doesn't make you better than them. Ever!

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 35

RE: Stunned by a crappy attitude - 4/6/2008 3:04:06 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

On the other hand, if he's interested in a fully equipped dungeon, nine course dinners with high protocol, linens, silverware and crystal, not to mention great wine, then he'll not want to always be footing the bill. And poorer couples wouldn't be able to host their turn, provide vintage champagne, etc.

But there's a difference between not wanting to be used for your money and disrespecting everyone in a different tax bracket. Unfortunately he appears not to know where that line is.

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(in reply to quietlyblushing)

Post #: 36

RE: Stunned by a crappy attitude - 4/6/2008 4:51:35 PM

robertolapiedra

Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
....However, anyone who equates money with intelligence or class usually lacks both.

Hello SimplyMichael.

.Ditto! RL.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 37

RE: Stunned by a crappy attitude - 4/6/2008 6:05:38 PM

bipolarber

Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline

Bad: my BDSM group is only open to people who have "above average incomes"
Worse: my BDSM group only allows lower income people to be subs.
Really Ugly: We think that this is the natural order, and legislation must be enacted to keep it this way.

What the original email sender seems to overlook: times change. In his lifetime, my grandfather went from independantly wealthy, to destitute during the depression, and back to semi-wealthy again. My parents went through that same arc several times. (When you are a farm family, a stretch of bad weather can gut your livelyhood time and again.)
This guy is an elitest asshole. And, as they say, "birds of a feather..." As such, I was taught not to judge anyone by their incomes, high or low. Chances are theirs will vary wildly over the course of a lifetime. As will yours and mine. Rather, judge someone by their actions, and how much they help others, (or tear them down.)

At least he flagged himself as such right off the bat. You know now to simply avoid the creep. Perhaps, after going through a few hard times himself, he'll learn to be a little more accepting of others who are barely making it in this "Bushwhacked" economy.

(in reply to robertolapiedra)

Post #: 38

RE: Stunned by a crappy attitude - 4/6/2008 6:20:09 PM

81song

Posts: 293
Joined: 1/22/2005
Status: offline

Here is hoping your friend finds work and that does open a can of worms as to the have nots and the haves in D/s but it does not sound like it will work (maybe for a few) or he sounds like he is flashing is cash, not a good sign.

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 39

RE: Stunned by a crappy attitude - 4/6/2008 6:21:37 PM

Terance

Posts: 6
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

It reminds me of an observation I made recently that keeps proving itself true: "there are stupid people in the world". I've been using it as a mantra when I run across people like this. It seems to calm me, I say it and suddenly I'm like: "oh yeah, that's right".

Thankfully, I haven't run across people like this since I left church.

(in reply to bipolarber)

Post #: 40

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