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Types of Doms - 4/6/2008 8:28:58 AM   
RedAnhedonia


Posts: 50
Joined: 3/26/2008
Status: offline 		I have been reading  a lot of different posts and threads about many different topics. I have also been talking with many different types of people.  I have a question ... What are the different types of Doms?? I have talked to guys who consider themselves, Masters, Daddy Doms .... and being new ... I just want to make sure I have an idea of what is out there ... basically so I don't look foolish.

Thanks any help would be totally awesome!!
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RE: Types of Doms - 4/6/2008 8:36:26 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		LOL

I hate to say it but asking that question here isn't going to get you closer to an answer because everyone has thier own opinion.

But a VERY Basic and CONTESTED Beliefe is as Follows

Dom = Dominant
Master = Can be another Term for a Dom or a Term for Leather Folk
Leather Folk  = People who Practice M/s style relationships and defer to protocol and rules of engagement.
Daddy = A Dominant over a little girl Not always Age Play sometimes a difficult to explain union (Ask Little Pita)
Sir = Can be someone you are owned by or someone who is teaching you or someone you just respect a lot.

And even that list is going to be WAY off for someone else.

I can only offer you how *I* see the terms and even the way I put it doesn't always fit How I see each of those terms.

I know that probably didn't help

Steel

_____________________________

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Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to RedAnhedonia)
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RE: Types of Doms - 4/6/2008 8:43:22 AM   
RedAnhedonia


Posts: 50
Joined: 3/26/2008
Status: offline 		Seriously ... laugh all you want.  I am.  I understand that much of it has to do with interpretation, and opinion, I just feel like I need a dictionary for BDSM,  do they make one??

I have been so curious most of my life, but too afraid of my own deviant thoughts to really look into it. Now that I have had the courage to face myself and my inner most desires, I want to know what to call them. 

But seriously, thank you.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
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RE: Types of Doms - 4/6/2008 8:47:50 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedAnhedonia

What are the different types of Doms??


There is as many different types as there are Dominant.

Instead of trying to group this one into that group and that one into this group ... why not try treating each one as an individual person who have both positive and negative qualities. 

It is not important to consider what type of Dominant you want.... but more importantly consider what qualities of a person you want/need and don't want/need.   

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to RedAnhedonia)
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RE: Types of Doms - 4/6/2008 8:54:13 AM   
metamorpha


Posts: 35
Joined: 4/2/2008
Status: offline 		As a general rule of thumb Daddy Doms tend to be gentler with their subs, less sadistic, and showing more signs of tenderness such as having their "gurl" sit on their lap.  (This is only a generality since every Dom is different.)

If you have a fair idea of what you are looking for you can ask specifically for that when making contact.  These preferences may include whether you want to be sexually involved, whether you want to do service activities, whether you want any type of pain or punishment, whether you want to follow a lot of protocol, how often you want to be involved, whether you want to be polyamorous, and anything else that you may feel truly fulfills you.  After all, even though it is the sub's job to please the Dom, if the sub isn't fulfilled she will quickly tire of the situation and leave.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: Types of Doms - 4/6/2008 8:55:38 AM   
RedAnhedonia


Posts: 50
Joined: 3/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedAnhedonia

What are the different types of Doms??


It is not important to consider what type of Dominant you want.... but more importantly consider what qualities of a person you want/need and don't want/need.   


I more or less am looking for vocabulary list .. If someone were to say I am a "trapezius bubblegum spatula Dom"  I want to know what that is ... I mean quite literally that could mean he wants to smear bubble gum on my shoulders while beating me with a spatula ... I'm not sure I'm down with all that.  The gum might get in my beautiful long red hair ... and that would be a tragedy. 

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: Types of Doms - 4/6/2008 8:58:50 AM   
Floggings4You


Posts: 240
Joined: 12/18/2006
Status: offline 		I don't use the term 'Master' often, or lightly.  I don't think the title 'Master' is something One can (or should) bestow upon Themselves.  It's a title best given by One's submissives or slaves--or, better, by other Doms.

I've met two Men who I respectfully call 'Masters', both of whom have been active in the lifestyle for decades.  Both have live-in slaves, host frequent parties in their homes, and are exceedingly skilled at what They do--in their knowledge of both Dominance itself, as well as having a thorough understading of lots of various toys and techniques.




(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: Types of Doms - 4/6/2008 9:01:00 AM   
TethersEnd


Posts: 102
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		please remember too that someone's chosen identification does NOT always mean that is what they will be to you.
just as they choose what they like or want to be your perception of them and their behavior is unique to you. 



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The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished.
~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to RedAnhedonia)
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RE: Types of Doms - 4/6/2008 9:12:55 AM   
RedAnhedonia


Posts: 50
Joined: 3/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TethersEnd

please remember too that someone's chosen identification does NOT always mean that is what they will be to you.
just as they choose what they like or want to be your perception of them and their behavior is unique to you. 




Ahhh I think that is probably true.  Thank you.

(in reply to TethersEnd)
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RE: Types of Doms - 4/6/2008 9:13:58 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Anyone can call themself a dominant or master.  What matters is the relationship dynamic, not how people label themselves.

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to RedAnhedonia)
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RE: Types of Doms - 4/6/2008 9:14:20 AM   
RedAnhedonia


Posts: 50
Joined: 3/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: metamorpha

As a general rule of thumb Daddy Doms tend to be gentler with their subs, less sadistic, and showing more signs of tenderness such as having their "gurl" sit on their lap.  (This is only a generality since every Dom is different.)

If you have a fair idea of what you are looking for you can ask specifically for that when making contact.  These preferences may include whether you want to be sexually involved, whether you want to do service activities, whether you want any type of pain or punishment, whether you want to follow a lot of protocol, how often you want to be involved, whether you want to be polyamorous, and anything else that you may feel truly fulfills you.  After all, even though it is the sub's job to please the Dom, if the sub isn't fulfilled she will quickly tire of the situation and leave.




I want it all!! lol

(in reply to metamorpha)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Types of Doms - 4/6/2008 9:48:37 AM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		You have gotten terrific responses here.  I think that the general consensus is correct.  As many types of people there are, are as many types of Dom/sub relationships.  You need to think about what you expect from a relationship and then find the person that most closely matches your "wish list."  Once you have matched and agree on that level, the rest will be easier to tackle as you grow to know that person.

ps - Def. keep the bubble gum out of your hair!  We redheads don't look all that great with pink blobs smattered in our tresses. 

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to RedAnhedonia)
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RE: Types of Doms - 4/6/2008 9:50:18 AM   
RedAnhedonia


Posts: 50
Joined: 3/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

You have gotten terrific responses here.  I think that the general consensus is correct.  As many types of people there are, are as many types of Dom/sub relationships.  You need to think about what you expect from a relationship and then find the person that most closely matches your "wish list."  Once you have matched and agree on that level, the rest will be easier to tackle as you grow to know that person.

ps - Def. keep the bubble gum out of your hair!  We redheads don't look all that great with pink blobs smattered in our tresses. 


Thank you so much!!!

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Types of Doms - 4/6/2008 10:32:24 AM   
subbieforHisuse


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/1/2008
Status: offline 		i agree with Daddysredhead!   I would only add that to truly KNOW the type of Dom that 'fits' you, you will only KNOW through 'experience'.   Don't get me wrong here, i am in NO way suggesting you go through 10 Doms in 1 year.  That 'fit' will make itself known to you as you get to know more Doms in the lifestyle (real life NOT cyber).

i met my present Dom 4 years ago.  'Daddy' (yes, he is a 'Daddy Dom') was my first experience (in real life) in this lifestyle.   At that time He had experienced about 8 yrs of the lifestyle and i was new to BDSM and was trying to 'find out who i was'.   After 3 1/2 yrs of experiencing and getting to know other Doms, i finally figured out exactly 'WHO' i needed as my Dom and i came back to 'Daddy' 6 months ago and we have been together since (24/7).

Take your time, RedAnhedonia.....

(in reply to RedAnhedonia)
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RE: Types of Doms - 4/6/2008 10:51:13 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		If someone discusses an activity using a term you've never heard before, you can check it here.  So for example, if someone says, "I live for bastinado", you can look it up and then respond with, "I'm sorry to tell you that I lost both feet in a car accident."

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

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RE: Types of Doms - 4/6/2008 10:56:02 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead


ps - Def. keep the bubble gum out of your hair!  We redheads don't look all that great with pink blobs smattered in our tresses. 


*thinks of what color blobs would look good in a woman's hair*

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Types of Doms - 4/6/2008 11:06:49 AM   
Gemini1766


Posts: 991
Joined: 3/7/2008
Status: offline 		Lots of great input here, and the overriding and recurring theme is "there is no set in stone meaning, it is up to the individual."
Best way to deal with it is to speak with the Dom/me and communicate with her/him to find out what kind of person/Dom/me they are and see if they are a match for you that way. Titles mean nothing, it is the person that matters.

Good luck on your search,
Gem


_____________________________

"Strangers do not owe strangers anything, beyond an obeisance to the laws mutual conduct as dictated by the land in which they live. Anything else is negotiable." puella

"TwistedKinkerBell's online male companion of a nearly intimate nature."

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RE: Types of Doms - 4/6/2008 11:07:05 AM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead


ps - Def. keep the bubble gum out of your hair!  We redheads don't look all that great with pink blobs smattered in our tresses. 


*thinks of what color blobs would look good in a woman's hair*


Levelicious, you are such a card!!!  *giggles all over the place* 

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Types of Doms - 4/6/2008 11:17:05 AM   
RedAnhedonia


Posts: 50
Joined: 3/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

If someone discusses an activity using a term you've never heard before, you can check it here.  So for example, if someone says, "I live for bastinado", you can look it up and then respond with, "I'm sorry to tell you that I lost both feet in a car accident."

Cali



WOW I am learning a lot today!!  I have enjoy :
Acomoclitic
Acucullophilia - though I have never been with any other type.
Algophilia
Allopellia
Asphyxiaphilia
Basoexia
Coprolalia
Hypophilia
Iantronudia
Menophilist - ummm yeah ... the mate to this is what I would consider myself
Odaxelangnia
Zelophilia
 
 All new words YAY !! I love vocabulary!
 
Thank you Cali!!

(in reply to CalifChick)
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RE: Types of Doms - 4/6/2008 11:38:42 AM   
MrThorns


Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedAnhedonia

I have been reading  a lot of different posts and threads about many different topics. I have also been talking with many different types of people.  I have a question ... What are the different types of Doms?? I have talked to guys who consider themselves, Masters, Daddy Doms .... and being new ... I just want to make sure I have an idea of what is out there ... basically so I don't look foolish.

Thanks any help would be totally awesome!!


Not sure if this is going to help, but there is a nearly infinite number of combinations of dominant-styles and personalities, as there is an infinite number of submissive styles and personalities.  Personally, I am a sensually-Sadistic-toy-oriented-polyamorous-Leather-loving-Daddy-Dom-Master to my pet and all around Evil Rat Fuck.. with Kung-Fu grip.

Hope that helps..

~Thorns

< Message edited by MrThorns -- 4/6/2008 11:40:19 AM >

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

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