RE: Abuse or training

RE: Abuse or training (Full Version)

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DesFIP -> RE: Abuse or training (4/7/2008 7:42:08 PM)
Please note that he carefully doesn't say it's his car. The car, without a personal pronoun. Same with the garage. I'm betting they're both hers. And that she hasn't had time to decide what to do about it. She needs to get an estimate from the body shop and decide if it's worth claiming from the insurance, paying it herself, or just letting it alone if it's ten years old. Which takes more than a few minutes to do.

TreasureKY -> RE: Abuse or training (4/7/2008 7:44:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hopelesslyInvo quote: ORIGINAL: TreasureKY Aside from perhaps demonstrating that your "bitchy subbie" has a "bitchy dommie"? crude, but putting it lightly still. Hey! I'm never crude. [;)]

Luciferica -> RE: Abuse or training (4/7/2008 7:48:29 PM)
Good question, if it's HER car then let HER deal with it...she will tell you when she gets around to it, it's a household matter, not a sexual matter, maybe you should talk to her as an adult and ask her if the D/s relationship is what she wants and explain that if it is, then she needs to be more giving or you'll find another sub, and if she dosen't then, buddy, she isn't your slave, she's a girlfriend.

akisha -> RE: Abuse or training (4/7/2008 7:56:38 PM)
Argh, too much drama and too much stress for me. [sm=stickineye.gif] I soo could not be in that kind of dynamic. I wish you all the best and hope you're happy with what you have.

Stephann -> RE: Abuse or training (4/7/2008 8:33:24 PM)
Briefly, if I had a submissive who banged her car up, I'd expect our communication as such that she'd call me just about immediately to tell me about it; not because I need to know, but because I think she'd need to tell me. It's not so different from if it were my car she's damaged. Dude, It sounds like you're more focused on pulling down her panties than you are on the damage to your car. There are some clear communication issues you have here. Having read your profile, it sounds like you're struggling to reconcile the fantasy of a D/s relationship, with the reality of a relationship. Your first step doesn't have anything to do with spanking her; it has everything to do with figuring out why you two aren't talking to begin with. Stephan

DesFIP -> RE: Abuse or training (4/8/2008 4:46:51 AM)
Stephann, I agree. When we have car problems here, he's the first to be called. But he's trustworthy in that his first reaction is always to see to our emotional needs, and then make decisions about how to handle the problem. The op doesn't show any maturity or interest in how shaky she may be as a result of this. All he's interested in is how to get his rocks off. Of course that's the difference between a wanker and a dominant.

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Abuse or training (4/8/2008 4:49:56 AM)
It is a power exchange not a power struggle. If you are continuously fighting over things and she doesn't want to do what asked then maybe you need to ask her if she really wants to be your submissive. People have to be compatible to have things work. This doesn't look like it is working and their is poor communication.

UR2Badored -> RE: Abuse or training (4/8/2008 6:59:21 AM)
I hate it when people with prison fetishes do not list a prerequisite for mindreading skills prior to entering a relationship or prison term. Who needs communication in Angola?

orfunboi -> RE: Abuse or training (4/8/2008 7:22:22 AM)
As others have pointed out, was it her car or yours? Big difference. Now a question for you....According to your profile you are seeking a r/t submissive. Is this to replace the bitchy one or to help you control her?

lanie38 -> RE: Abuse or training (4/8/2008 8:36:16 AM)
Way too much drama for me...it's annoying just reading this post...

YoungWolf -> RE: Abuse or training (4/8/2008 8:47:14 AM)
If she keeps fighting with you about alot of things, Your not her Master and she is NOT your slave.a slave is willing to give herself/himself compleatly. Maybe she did not have a chance to tell you about the car? You seem more like a controll freak right now umm no offence.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Abuse or training (4/8/2008 9:22:09 AM)
quote: Is this training her, or abusing her. neither. to this slave, it sounds like two immature masochists with dominant personalities going at it and not getting much pleasure from the interaction.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Abuse or training (4/8/2008 9:29:03 AM)
beth is really smart. :)

xxblushesxx -> RE: Abuse or training (4/8/2008 9:44:28 AM)
omg! Yes, about a week and a half ago while I was driving into the garage, I messed up the back side panel of HM's car. I didn't have to tell Him because He HEARD it. That really sucked. What sucked worse was less than a week later, I 'broke' the folding mirror off of it while backing up into our garbage cans. (there were extenuating circumstances in both cases) I was supposed to meet Him for lunch about an hour from then. I tryed calling Him, but could not get through, sent Him an email telling Him what happened, and called Him before leaving to meet Him. I asked if He still wanted me to meet Him, but of course fricking AT&T mail had not gone through yet, so, I had to tell Him. It actually wasn't broken, just looked the part, and He was able to put it back on easilly. Boy, it sucked to be me those two weeks. I also would like to know if 'the car' is the domme's car, or the sub's car.

littleone35 -> RE: Abuse or training (4/8/2008 10:14:10 AM)
You SURE she is a sub? does not sound like one. Your Master tells you to do something and unless it's something you are not capable of doing or it is againest you hard limits you do it. No fighting. As for the car she really should tell him if it is his car, but she may be getting an estimate first. When i got into an accident with my car Master was the first one i called. I am not sure about abuse, but its seems wrong to spank without telling her why. Matt's littleone

lalbobbilynn -> RE: Abuse or training (4/8/2008 10:45:42 AM)
imho the abuse seems to be in that You two lack a truthful banter. Your profile does not state anything about this sub of Yours, so i am going to make the leap that this relationship is new. Very possibly Your sub is not clear as to Your expectations of her, heck i dunno!!!

submissivemomma -> RE: Abuse or training (4/8/2008 11:07:30 AM)
I'm sorry hun but it sounds like she is either a Domme or just plain vanilla. She may say she is submissive but if she were in her heart then she would not fight you all the time.

mrmorpheuslunar -> RE: Abuse or training (4/8/2008 11:19:25 AM)
Interesting replies. Some were right on target, had good insight, and wise counsel. Some however were trying to sell their own domination and or persona's with the posting, and hey - that's OK cause it's a sounding board of who we are. All in all, Your right.... there was an absence of some essential information - but I thought it extraneous to the issue and unnecessary to render judgement. So at the end of the day..... yes I presented the damage to her, and asked her response to it. I was not using the issue as an opportunity to lord it over here and wanky wanky as some suggested. Although I was engaging my imagination regarding the dispositon of justice. Her response to me was that she was unaware of it until earlier in the day when one of her friends pointed it out to her. She did not know if she caused the damage upon backing out of the garage, or if someone damaged the hatch by backing into her. I extended grace to her upon her explanation. And I do thank all for their deliberations and input.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Abuse or training (4/8/2008 11:40:48 AM)
I hear that on People's Court all the time. Always remember that if you hit something (even lightly) with your car, you are going to feel it. (especially if it's something big and heavy like, oh...say....another car or a garage.) Btw...whose car is it? Inquiring minds... Also, people who say that someone who fights is not a submissive has obviously never had to fight their own submission. Or...it could be that she is submissive, but not to him....

AquaticSub -> RE: Abuse or training (4/8/2008 1:08:54 PM)
~Fast Reply~ Just a thought... It's true that if she was in the car at the time she would probably feel the impact but it's also possible that someone backed into her while she was not in the car and her honestly not notice. I drive a car with a hatch and could easily overlook damage to it for at least a day. I usually walk towards it with the front facing me and don't put much in the back. However, an auto body shop could probably tell you how they think the damage was caused. Glad to hear you talked to her.

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