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Does size matter? - 4/7/2008 11:30:26 PM

snugglepet

Posts: 21
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

Recently, a Dom that i had been working with decided that he did not want me, and this is fine it is his choice. After a period of time of not contacting him as per his request, he contacted me and upon beginning a discussion began to belittle and berate me. Telling me that i should be honoured that he was charitable enough to even talk to a fat ass like myself. That i am too ugly for even a mother to love, that i lost the only good thing i could have ever received and that no one could ever like/love me ever, that i should just give up and die.
So is it true, that i am a charity case, because i am a bigger girl? Is it true that no one could love me? Is real love even truly possible?
So truly then, does size really matter?

Post #: 1

RE: Does size matter? - 4/7/2008 11:43:18 PM

corsetgirl

Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: snugglepet

Recently, a Dom that i had been working with decided that he did not want me, and this is fine it is his choice. After a period of time of not contacting him as per his request, he contacted me and upon beginning a discussion began to belittle and berate me. Telling me that i should be honoured that he was charitable enough to even talk to a fat ass like myself. That i am too ugly for even a mother to love, that i lost the only good thing i could have ever received and that no one could ever like/love me ever, that i should just give up and die.
So is it true, that i am a charity case, because i am a bigger girl? Is it true that no one could love me? Is real love even truly possible?
So truly then, does size really matter?

No. I am also a BBW submissive and it seems he is playing head games with you to the point of humiliation. I know one dom who appreciates my curves and big butt. I would not give this person the time of day because he is not worthy of any submissive! Block, delete and ignore him. If he keeps contacting you, then report him for abuse!

Some doms do appreciate BBWs and you will find someone who will be better for you.

(in reply to snugglepet)

Post #: 2

RE: Does size matter? - 4/7/2008 11:45:46 PM

dirtyslagrosie

Posts: 4
Joined: 7/15/2007
Status: offline

that is such a shame i am a "big" slave and i would say that 95% of Masters on here either like big subs or more importantly look inside the sub at her submissiveness, her nature, the respect she shows her Master and therefore size does not matter He does not sound like a real Master but one of the many fakes i have met here so ignore Him, and look further and you will find the perfect Master

(in reply to snugglepet)

Post #: 3

RE: Does size matter? - 4/7/2008 11:49:39 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

Here we go!

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Post #: 4

RE: Does size matter? - 4/7/2008 11:55:03 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: snugglepet

Recently, a Dom that i had been working with decided that he did not want me, and this is fine it is his choice. After a period of time of not contacting him as per his request, he contacted me and upon beginning a discussion began to belittle and berate me. Telling me that i should be honoured that he was charitable enough to even talk to a fat ass like myself. That i am too ugly for even a mother to love, that i lost the only good thing i could have ever received and that no one could ever like/love me ever, that i should just give up and die.
So is it true, that i am a charity case, because i am a bigger girl? Is it true that no one could love me? Is real love even truly possible?
So truly then, does size really matter?

Why on earth are you allowing someone you have never met make you question yourself in such a way?

_____________________________

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(in reply to snugglepet)

Post #: 5

RE: Does size matter? - 4/7/2008 11:58:27 PM

snugglepet

Posts: 21
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

that is a valid point, why would i allow someone to make me feel this way? Simply because it made me feel validated as a person and as a submissive, someone valued my attentions and was "seemingly" capable and i am being sarcastic here able to look past the fat and see me.
This was not intended to be a rant about "fat chicks" it was merely a question as to how to better myself for the future and avoid further acknowlegement of arrogance and ignorance in the future.
thank you

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 6

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 12:00:15 AM

snugglepet

Posts: 21
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

it is not whining FYI .. it is merely an attempt to figure out how to avoid caustic/toxic and deranged S.O.B's in the future.

(in reply to snugglepet)

Post #: 7

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 12:01:34 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

Get used to the fact that people are just shallow. And other's aren't, they just arent attracted to you. If it bothers you that much-look at yourself. No one else has an in on your validation.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to snugglepet)

Post #: 8

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 12:02:49 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

The only thing you can control is your own reactions.

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I'm not taking custom orders.

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Post #: 9

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 12:44:22 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

Get used to the fact that people are just shallow

<Waves to Leatherist>
I just think people know what they want. If he doesnt like fat girls, then he shouldn't have led her to believe he did. He built her up just to watch her fall.
OP, there is no reason you need to get validation from any of us. You know your attributes more than any one else. Have confidence in what you have to offer and move on. I wish you luck.

MoGa

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Post #: 10

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 2:13:11 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

If it matters to you it matters, but clearly you are after a bit of sympathy here and "sisterhood of the insecure" If you believe it to be true then YOU can deal with it (diet, gym etc), if not just move on, he was an idiot we have all met them.

< Message edited by colouredin -- 4/8/2008 2:14:24 AM >

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(in reply to snugglepet)

Post #: 11

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 2:37:46 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

He's a tool.
Your size did not make him a tool.

Picture someone caught in a shallow well. They could ask for help, someone throw them a ladder or rope. They could try to climb the wall of the well to hoist themselves out. OR they could drag enough people down into the well with them and stand on their bodies to get out of the well.

Don't let yourself get dragged into his well of bitterness.

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(in reply to snugglepet)

Post #: 12

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 2:42:30 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

quote:

Get used to the fact that people are just shallow

<Waves to Leatherist>
I just think people know what they want. If he doesnt like fat girls, then he shouldn't have led her to believe he did. He built her up just to watch her fall.
OP, there is no reason you need to get validation from any of us. You know your attributes more than any one else. Have confidence in what you have to offer and move on. I wish you luck.

MoGa

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 13

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 2:43:38 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

He's a tool.
Your size did not make him a tool.

Picture someone caught in a shallow well. They could ask for help, someone throw them a ladder or rope. They could try to climb the wall of the well to hoist themselves out. OR they could drag enough people down into the well with them and stand on their bodies to get out of the well.

Don't let yourself get dragged into his well of bitterness.

NICELY said, eyes :)

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 14

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 3:42:02 AM

rubberpet

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline

Unfortunately, in this world, size does matter to some. The guy you are referring to is simply a douche bag. Beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors. I'm one that believes curvy, plus-sized women are beautiful. Mistress is plush and curvy, and to me She is the most beautiful woman to walk the earth.

Most dominants have a preference, whether they are male or female. I've been rejected many, many times because I wasn't over six-foot tall with blue eyes and built like a linebacker from the NFL. To this day, I don't see what my size would have to do with my submission, but I could care less. I belong to a domme who loves and cherishes me for who I am, my submission to Her, and the way I treat Her. So keep your chin up. There's someone out there for you. Just keep looking.

_____________________________

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(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 15

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 4:05:38 AM

Hippiekinkster

Posts: 5512
Joined: 11/20/2007
From: Liechtenstein
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: snugglepet

Recently, a Dom that i had been working with decided that he did not want me, and this is fine it is his choice. After a period of time of not contacting him as per his request, he contacted me and upon beginning a discussion began to belittle and berate me. Telling me that i should be honoured that he was charitable enough to even talk to a fat ass like myself. That i am too ugly for even a mother to love, that i lost the only good thing i could have ever received and that no one could ever like/love me ever, that i should just give up and die.
So is it true, that i am a charity case, because i am a bigger girl? Is it true that no one could love me? Is real love even truly possible?
So truly then, does size really matter?

Oh, sweetie, I am so sorry you are hurting because of this &6y%4o((.

No, it is not, repeat, NOT, true that no one could ever love you.
No, you are not a "charity case". Damn, that makes my blood boil. So many use "BDSM" as an excuse to reject others.

Having said that, I am not physically attracted to either very large or very small women. It has nothing to do with you. If I were to be hit on by a woman who was 5 feet and 95 pounds, I'd turn her down, gently. Why? Sorry, she wouldn't turn me on. My ex-wife was "Rubenesque" when I married her. That was 1985. That was fine. I loved her. Still do.

I quit smoking and began working out and got to a "foxy" 6 feet and 195 pounds. Why? I wanted to stay with her. She didn't make the same effort. Not going any further.

If the dude who contacted you wasn't willing to make you the centerpiece of his life, to... well,

I'm sorry, but why do you even refer to dildos like this as "Doms"? Really. Why?

Why do you call him a "Dom"? Because he says he's one? Hehe, well, I have the occasional encounter where my "Domliness" is questioned. That's cool because I don't label myself a "Dom". What I am, is a Man who has had a lot of different experiences with both sexes, and am pretty comfortable in my own skin without having to label myself for the benefit of a group of Suburbanites who buy some toys over the net, and then start calling themselves "leather".

Snuggle, you are going to encounter these turds at almost every corner you turn in the sexual underground. Flush them.

(in reply to snugglepet)

Post #: 16

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 4:10:00 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

What I am, is a Man who has had a lot of different experiences with both sexes, and am pretty comfortable in my own skin without having to label myself for the benefit of a group of Suburbanites who buy some toys over the net, and then start calling themselves "leather".

Nice!! I couldn't have said it any better!

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Post #: 17

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 4:30:07 AM

MladyHathor

Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

LaTigresse has a great quite on Her posts: If you let someone affect you, you give up control---good words to live by, IMHO

_____________________________

The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.

(in reply to snugglepet)

Post #: 18

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 4:36:02 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

He knew your size from the beginning. If it was a deal breaker to him, then he should have told you immediately that you weren't compatible. I'm betting he was looking for someone to misuse and hoped to get you reeled in and then harm your self esteem sufficiently that you wouldn't object to unsafe sex gangbangs and such.

Be glad you learned his true colors before you met.

As far as size, there are overweight doms as well as subs. Why not find one and both of you become supportive partners in exercising and eating more healthily. The Man wants to turn a spare room into a gym which I agree with, but I want him to stop buying candy bars. I have no willpower when someone's waving a Hershey Bar with Almonds under my nose.

_____________________________

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(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 19

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 5:42:59 AM

metamorpha

Posts: 35
Joined: 4/2/2008
Status: offline

He sounds like my exhusband!

It is not uncommon to carry a guilt with you for being overweight. Even though most of America is, there aren't many people that are comfortable with it. There are many who are willing to settle for a lower level of respect, because after all, don't they deserve it? (In their own mind.)

He was venting - trying purposely to hurt you - and it worked. Have the last laugh and come out of it stronger, knowing that he was a jerk to you about that, and that there are a lot of men out there that look for beauty more than skin deep. Think of the things that you are proud of about yourself. Maybe you have beautiful eyes, or a lovely submissive spirit, or have accomplishments in your life that make you feel good about yourself. A confident woman is beautiful to most men.

My daughter was an overweight teen. She would catch people staring sometimes, and would tell them that she might be fat but they were ugly - at least she could lose weight. I wish I would have had her bravery. LOL

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 20

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