advice plz... lesbian vs. bi (Full Version)

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Corvidae -> advice plz... lesbian vs. bi (4/8/2008 10:56:06 AM)

Hi all! I'm new here, and would love a bit of advice on what I put down as my orientation on my profile. At the moment I have that I am a lesbian and am only seeking dominant/switch women or trans. This hasn't stopped several shall we say "reality challenged" male individuals from asking me to be their sub. So here's the quandry; in reality I'm bi, although 95% of the people I'm attracted to are women (and the other 5% tend to be either gay or Johnny Depp). Therefore what I'd like to put is that I am bi but am not seeking male tops at the moment. However I am worried that if I switch my orientation to bi I will have to deal with a significant increase in requests from men who might be even more reluctant to accept that I am not interested in playing with them. So what do you think? I might just go ahead and say I'm bi, and see what happens. Anyone else have the same problem?



DiurnalVampire -> RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi (4/8/2008 10:58:48 AM)

If you arent seeking males, then why bother changing your advertising to interest more of them? You have nothing to gain but more male attention by changing to bi, since the majority of women looking for female playmates arent going t be put off by your orientation.




Dnomyar -> RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi (4/8/2008 11:00:51 AM)

Ignore the request from men. Delete them before you open them. Wait! Read mine delete the others.



FRSguy -> RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi (4/8/2008 11:01:02 AM)

Is the extra attention really that bad??
Explain it in your profile and if you get more attention who cares... you might make a friend out of it.
I dont think it would be any different if you put down hetro and taken.



SteelofUtah -> RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi (4/8/2008 11:02:18 AM)

In all honesty the wankers don't really read your profile at all. You can say that you are a Purple Toed A-Sexual Hermaphradite and they would still e-mail you professing that they could overcome this difficulty if only you would give them a chance.

Put what you ARE. If you are Bi-sexual Then PUT BI if you are a Lesbian THEN PUT THAT. You will get wankers NO MATTER WHAT!!!! However if you are looking for someone specific then putting down that you are soing you are not could be construed as lying and that is NO way to start a relationship.

Learn the Block Ignore Buttons...... They will help you. Also set you Ignore perameters and use the Bluk Mail Feature.

Hope that helps.

Steel




softpjOS -> RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi (4/8/2008 11:02:36 AM)

lol truthfully it won't matter what you put on your profile as most simply dont bother to read it anyway.  My own profile even says "now listed as lesbian due to the inability of male Doms to comprehend the english language" or something to that effect (haven't read it in awhile). 
 
Easiest way if you wish to not hear from males, set your email filter to send all emails from me to your bulk/junk folder and simply don't look in there. 
 
Good luck and welcome to the forums!
 
pj



chaosforge -> RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi (4/8/2008 11:02:47 AM)

Clearly and politely state you are not seeking males for a relationship, then fix it where all male senders go to your bulk mail. my Mate and i have this couple-profile, and i have my own profile. The above is what We did for my account, and i've had very pleasing results after a little time. hope this can help- just phoenix



Corvidae -> RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi (4/8/2008 11:03:34 AM)

I'd like to put I'm bi because it is who I am. I have had serious crushes on guys (although no serious relationships), and at some point I think I'd like to try bottoming to a guy, just not now.



Wildfleurs -> RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi (4/8/2008 11:09:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Corvidae

Hi all! I'm new here, and would love a bit of advice on what I put down as my orientation on my profile. At the moment I have that I am a lesbian and am only seeking dominant/switch women or trans. This hasn't stopped several shall we say "reality challenged" male individuals from asking me to be their sub. So here's the quandry; in reality I'm bi, although 95% of the people I'm attracted to are women (and the other 5% tend to be either gay or Johnny Depp). Therefore what I'd like to put is that I am bi but am not seeking male tops at the moment. However I am worried that if I switch my orientation to bi I will have to deal with a significant increase in requests from men who might be even more reluctant to accept that I am not interested in playing with them. So what do you think? I might just go ahead and say I'm bi, and see what happens. Anyone else have the same problem?


If you aren't looking for a man and are overwhelmingly attracted to women I'd mark my profile as lesbian.

C~



Corvidae -> RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi (4/8/2008 11:13:41 AM)

I don't mind attention, even male attention. What I do mind is people who don't respect who I am or who don't even bother to take the time to see who/what i'm in to.



beltainefaerie -> RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi (4/8/2008 11:15:34 AM)

Some people view it as sexual preference and you prefer women, however, I think lesbian is misleading if you think you are actually bi.  I don't think it should increase your wanker inbox, but I might be wrong.  Some lesbians don't want a bi partner and you might do better to eliminate them anyway by listing who you really are.  just my 2 cents.



softpjOS -> RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi (4/8/2008 11:16:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Corvidae

I don't mind attention, even male attention. What I do mind is people who don't respect who I am or who don't even bother to take the time to see who/what i'm in to.


That isn't going to change no matter what you put on your profile.  Sad but true. 
 
Best thing you can do is ignore the trolls/idiots and give your energy to the ones that deserve it.
 
pj



Corvidae -> RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi (4/8/2008 11:20:02 AM)

okey dokey, thanks all! I'm now listed as bi, and am resigned to wanker-mail no matter what I put, lol



DesFIP -> RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi (4/8/2008 11:22:33 AM)

If you put down that you're bi, you'll not only be getting email from males but from couples as well. Since you're not looking for a male, don't even list that possibility.



faerytattoodgirl -> RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi (4/8/2008 11:28:00 AM)

block men entirely from writing you.  you can do that you know.




Stephann -> RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi (4/8/2008 11:29:32 AM)

Hi there,

I went into detail about the choices associated with Homosexuality verses Lesbianism here yesterday:

Orientation Decisions

In short, if I were you, I'd list myself as a lesbian, add men to my bulk mail filter, and if I was interested in finding a man, I'd go looking for men who met my criteria.  I'd write them myself.

Women, when you use your inbox as your 'options' you become focused on people interested in you; they won't necessarily interest you.  Do the search work yourself, look for people who pique your interest, and the quality of your mail will significantly increase.  Lots more on this here:

Women: How to find a man here

Stephan



ResidentSadist -> RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi (4/8/2008 11:34:09 AM)

Congrats on updating your profile and getting productive results from your forum thread.  Like any sample population, CM has its share of wankers that just don't read. 



RavenMuse -> RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi (4/8/2008 11:36:29 AM)

Ooops .. ignore me.. signed into the wrong account..

metalmiss




LaTigresse -> RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi (4/8/2008 11:37:52 AM)

In other words, bulk mail is your friend. 



metalmiss -> RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi (4/8/2008 11:40:05 AM)

Trying again..

Whether you state lesbian or bi you're always going to get hopeful enquiries from the males who can't read or just don't get it. My advice if you want to say you're bi, is to also put a note on your profile, at the top i find works best, stating clearly that you aren't looking for male attention.
You will still get mails from them.. Probably more than before.. But if you delete them without wasting your time with the reading.. i don't see what you have to loose.



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