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advice plz... lesbian vs. bi - 4/8/2008 10:56:06 AM   
Corvidae


Posts: 82
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline 		Hi all! I'm new here, and would love a bit of advice on what I put down as my orientation on my profile. At the moment I have that I am a lesbian and am only seeking dominant/switch women or trans. This hasn't stopped several shall we say "reality challenged" male individuals from asking me to be their sub. So here's the quandry; in reality I'm bi, although 95% of the people I'm attracted to are women (and the other 5% tend to be either gay or Johnny Depp). Therefore what I'd like to put is that I am bi but am not seeking male tops at the moment. However I am worried that if I switch my orientation to bi I will have to deal with a significant increase in requests from men who might be even more reluctant to accept that I am not interested in playing with them. So what do you think? I might just go ahead and say I'm bi, and see what happens. Anyone else have the same problem?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi - 4/8/2008 10:58:48 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		If you arent seeking males, then why bother changing your advertising to interest more of them? You have nothing to gain but more male attention by changing to bi, since the majority of women looking for female playmates arent going t be put off by your orientation.



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VampiresLair

(in reply to Corvidae)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi - 4/8/2008 11:00:51 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Ignore the request from men. Delete them before you open them. Wait! Read mine delete the others.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi - 4/8/2008 11:01:02 AM   
FRSguy


Posts: 653
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		Is the extra attention really that bad??
Explain it in your profile and if you get more attention who cares... you might make a friend out of it.
I dont think it would be any different if you put down hetro and taken.

(in reply to Corvidae)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi - 4/8/2008 11:02:18 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		In all honesty the wankers don't really read your profile at all. You can say that you are a Purple Toed A-Sexual Hermaphradite and they would still e-mail you professing that they could overcome this difficulty if only you would give them a chance.

Put what you ARE. If you are Bi-sexual Then PUT BI if you are a Lesbian THEN PUT THAT. You will get wankers NO MATTER WHAT!!!! However if you are looking for someone specific then putting down that you are soing you are not could be construed as lying and that is NO way to start a relationship.

Learn the Block Ignore Buttons...... They will help you. Also set you Ignore perameters and use the Bluk Mail Feature.

Hope that helps.

Steel



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Profile   Post #: 5
RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi - 4/8/2008 11:02:36 AM   
softpjOS


Posts: 398
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline 		lol truthfully it won't matter what you put on your profile as most simply dont bother to read it anyway.  My own profile even says "now listed as lesbian due to the inability of male Doms to comprehend the english language" or something to that effect (haven't read it in awhile). 
 
Easiest way if you wish to not hear from males, set your email filter to send all emails from me to your bulk/junk folder and simply don't look in there. 
 
Good luck and welcome to the forums!
 
pj

(in reply to Corvidae)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi - 4/8/2008 11:02:47 AM   
chaosforge


Posts: 397
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: The Abyss
Status: offline 		Clearly and politely state you are not seeking males for a relationship, then fix it where all male senders go to your bulk mail. my Mate and i have this couple-profile, and i have my own profile. The above is what We did for my account, and i've had very pleasing results after a little time. hope this can help- just phoenix

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Chaosforge
All begins in chaos and all will end in chaos.
I am that which has always been and will always be.
CHAOS !!!

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(in reply to Corvidae)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi - 4/8/2008 11:03:34 AM   
Corvidae


Posts: 82
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline 		I'd like to put I'm bi because it is who I am. I have had serious crushes on guys (although no serious relationships), and at some point I think I'd like to try bottoming to a guy, just not now.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi - 4/8/2008 11:09:16 AM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Corvidae

Hi all! I'm new here, and would love a bit of advice on what I put down as my orientation on my profile. At the moment I have that I am a lesbian and am only seeking dominant/switch women or trans. This hasn't stopped several shall we say "reality challenged" male individuals from asking me to be their sub. So here's the quandry; in reality I'm bi, although 95% of the people I'm attracted to are women (and the other 5% tend to be either gay or Johnny Depp). Therefore what I'd like to put is that I am bi but am not seeking male tops at the moment. However I am worried that if I switch my orientation to bi I will have to deal with a significant increase in requests from men who might be even more reluctant to accept that I am not interested in playing with them. So what do you think? I might just go ahead and say I'm bi, and see what happens. Anyone else have the same problem?


If you aren't looking for a man and are overwhelmingly attracted to women I'd mark my profile as lesbian.

C~


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(in reply to Corvidae)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi - 4/8/2008 11:13:41 AM   
Corvidae


Posts: 82
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline 		I don't mind attention, even male attention. What I do mind is people who don't respect who I am or who don't even bother to take the time to see who/what i'm in to.

(in reply to Wildfleurs)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi - 4/8/2008 11:15:34 AM   
beltainefaerie


Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline 		Some people view it as sexual preference and you prefer women, however, I think lesbian is misleading if you think you are actually bi.  I don't think it should increase your wanker inbox, but I might be wrong.  Some lesbians don't want a bi partner and you might do better to eliminate them anyway by listing who you really are.  just my 2 cents.

(in reply to Wildfleurs)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi - 4/8/2008 11:16:58 AM   
softpjOS


Posts: 398
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Corvidae

I don't mind attention, even male attention. What I do mind is people who don't respect who I am or who don't even bother to take the time to see who/what i'm in to.


That isn't going to change no matter what you put on your profile.  Sad but true. 
 
Best thing you can do is ignore the trolls/idiots and give your energy to the ones that deserve it.
 
pj

(in reply to Corvidae)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi - 4/8/2008 11:20:02 AM   
Corvidae


Posts: 82
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline 		okey dokey, thanks all! I'm now listed as bi, and am resigned to wanker-mail no matter what I put, lol

(in reply to softpjOS)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi - 4/8/2008 11:22:33 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If you put down that you're bi, you'll not only be getting email from males but from couples as well. Since you're not looking for a male, don't even list that possibility.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi - 4/8/2008 11:28:00 AM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		block men entirely from writing you.  you can do that you know.



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I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi - 4/8/2008 11:29:32 AM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		Hi there,

I went into detail about the choices associated with Homosexuality verses Lesbianism here yesterday:

Orientation Decisions

In short, if I were you, I'd list myself as a lesbian, add men to my bulk mail filter, and if I was interested in finding a man, I'd go looking for men who met my criteria.  I'd write them myself.

Women, when you use your inbox as your 'options' you become focused on people interested in you; they won't necessarily interest you.  Do the search work yourself, look for people who pique your interest, and the quality of your mail will significantly increase.  Lots more on this here:

Women: How to find a man here

Stephan


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Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to Corvidae)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi - 4/8/2008 11:34:09 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Congrats on updating your profile and getting productive results from your forum thread.  Like any sample population, CM has its share of wankers that just don't read. 


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I give good thread.

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi - 4/8/2008 11:36:29 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		Ooops .. ignore me.. signed into the wrong account..

metalmiss



< Message edited by RavenMuse -- 4/8/2008 11:38:04 AM >

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This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi - 4/8/2008 11:37:52 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		In other words, bulk mail is your friend. 

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: advice plz... lesbian vs. bi - 4/8/2008 11:40:05 AM   
metalmiss


Posts: 341
Joined: 5/4/2005
From: Croydon, UK
Status: offline 		Trying again..

Whether you state lesbian or bi you're always going to get hopeful enquiries from the males who can't read or just don't get it. My advice if you want to say you're bi, is to also put a note on your profile, at the top i find works best, stating clearly that you aren't looking for male attention.
You will still get mails from them.. Probably more than before.. But if you delete them without wasting your time with the reading.. i don't see what you have to loose.


_____________________________

"The longing to serve, to submit, to abandon oneself sexually, emotionally, and physically makes one a slave either to a Man, a Woman or to God. Submission to that passion is divine degradation." - Dorothy C. Hayden

Owned by RavenMuse

(in reply to Corvidae)
Profile   Post #: 20
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