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RE: Room for humanity? - 4/13/2008 1:24:56 PM

pinkwind

Posts: 367
Joined: 1/9/2005
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Essential, pure and simple!

(in reply to LadybugBlue)

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RE: Room for humanity? - 4/13/2008 1:56:20 PM

softpjOS

Posts: 398
Joined: 6/7/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadybugBlue

A question for all subs/slaves out there... Is it reasonable for a Dom/me to require/request that their pets/slaves/subs allow for room for their humanity, their growth as a Dom/me, and their own personal stressors/styles/needs? Are you generally open to a variety of discipline styles, including merely a look or being ignored as punishment in public?

yes, yes and yes. DEPENDING on the relationship dynamic. It revolves around what has been agreed to by both parties.

In my own relationship, i knew from day one that i was Mistress's first and as such, knew that over time She would *most likely* "grow" within Her "role". No different then She was my first and i had lots of room to learn and grow as well. So, we've grown together in many ways :)

First and foremost we are people with real emotions, real feelings, dealing with real life. I do not expect Her to focus strictly on our relationship dynamic, and be "on" at all times. She is my Mistress always, regardless of how She is "dealing with life". Dominants are allowed to cry, feel anger, or just need to snuggle.

Punishment is Her decision. Every detail of it. Personally, i would not behave in a manner needing "punishment" in public. Refocused perhaps lol but punished? umm no. A look is generally all it takes to get me to straighten up. And most often the "offense" is being silly. lol. Mistress always makes the "punishment fit the crime" as She says. So, yes, She uses a wide variety of punishments.

Now, if the relationship is one strictly a casual play or professional service, yes, i can see where the sub could easily expect the Dommes to be "in role at all times". Otherwise, people are human, regardless of which side of the whip they play on.

(in reply to LadybugBlue)

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RE: Room for humanity? - 4/13/2008 10:20:35 PM

LadybugBlue

Posts: 56
Joined: 5/19/2007
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I want to thank you all for your imput thus far... I am starting to realize that for the D/S relationship that was, I don't think I was asking for too much, nor was my dear Husband asking for too much, but then again, I just don't know if it was right for everyone at that time. I know I'm still green, and I have a LOT to learn, and have learned a LOT from this recent lost relationship, and that styles vary greatly.

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RE: Room for humanity? - 4/14/2008 6:37:23 AM

WillowRain

Posts: 191
Joined: 6/18/2006
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Full on ignoring is brutal, in any kind of relationship. Time outs are more humane.

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RE: Room for humanity? - 4/15/2008 5:12:53 PM

dove967

Posts: 102
Joined: 10/28/2006
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I'd like to copy/paste one of the entries from my journal regarding this very issue.

As submissives, we are ever working to increase the depth and quality of our service to our Doms. We sharpen our skills of observation and intuition so as to meet his needs without him so much as asking. We find joy and fulfillment in the sacrifice of service. This is why it is especially frustrating for us when our service is not what he needs. It's so very hard to wait quietly and patiently when the Dom is just a man. When that man must take time and energy for himself to deal with inner struggles or challenges. We are taught to depend on our Doms for strength, stability, and leadership. It can be difficult when we must draw from within ourselves for those things so as not to further burden him. It is perhaps one of the greatest gifts we can give our beloved Doms; to watch the man deal with weakness in our sight and yet still see love, commitment, and respect for him in our eyes.

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RE: Room for humanity? - 4/15/2008 5:48:55 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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Thank you. You said what I feel, exactly.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

It isn't reasonable for me to be with someone who assumes that I am not an adult, that I will do something so inappropriate in public that his only response would be to walk away and pretend he doesn't know me.
I don't accept being set up for failure even or perhaps especially if it makes him hard.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

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