Focus50
Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004 From: Newcastle, Australia Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Othie The first set: Do you believe that a Dom/sub are equals? Or is the sub below the Dom? I know, or atleast everyone I have asked, will tell me that a Dom's word is "law" or that he has the last word. We are equal in the power each contributes to create a D/s dynamic. But D/s *is* a control based dynamic - we are NOT equal on who has authority. The girl has the choices I give her plus her own to leave if she's not satisfied. I outrank her, but I am not superior to my partners; thus, she is NEVER inferior. quote:
What happens when the sub/slave feels strongly that they are wrong? I'm guessing they can't say "no, thats not right." but it seems like it would come up with anyone who thinks for themself...and not being able to say anything must feel like holding your anger inside...that can't be healthy. As the one in charge, I'm ultimately responsible for making the right decisions. But mistakes inevitably happen and she's allowed to be right at my expense. Admitting mistakes is an important part of leadership (which is why our heads of state are merely puppets put in charge, instead). If the girl and I reach an impasse on something BIG, and especially if emotions are simmering, then we sort it out as adult equals - where I will NOT pull rank on her. In return, I expect her to be at least civil and respectful while balancing listening with talking. OTH, if the impasse is a matter of personal taste etc, there's every chance I will pull rank and expect her to "tow the line". quote:
Second set: With a sub/slave, do you feel that she/he should address you as Master/Sir at all times? For example, if your sub/slave comes in after a long day at work or other such thing, do you feel she should greet you as Master? If so, does this hold true when there are other none lifestyle people around? Do you like your subs/slaves to talk causal with you? Or should it all remain formal? Have you ever had a sub/slave feel they can't be causal around you? I'm sure these seem like odd questions, but thank you to all who took the time to read and answer them. I'm in charge; I lead - the girl takes her cues from me. When it's just us, I mostly call her 'girl' and expect to be addressed as 'Sir' in response. When others are present or I'm feeling casual etc, I'll use her given name and expect the same back.... If she's not sure (for eg, we just woke up and I haven't yet said anything), she can address me either way (casual or formal) and my response will dictate what I then expect. She can't get in trouble for not knowing my initial mood but she certainly can for not following my lead. We all have bad days or moods and I'm not an ogre. If I think she's struggling or stressed etc, I'm not gonna get on her back. But everything "depends".... Often, actively taking charge of a tired submissive and setting a light task or two is a good way to relax them. Or perhaps a few simple knots and.... presto...., no choice but to relax. I only had one fem/sub who was uncomfortable with banter as equal adults. I'm a multi-faceted individual; we were never gonna work out.... Focus.
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Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown> Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)
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