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Protocol? - 10/8/2005 6:31:04 AM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
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Does this site have a particular protocol for submissives who would like to write to a Dom?
i heard (on another site) that this is not an acceptable practice.
One would think that each Dom would have their own preferences.

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RE: Protocol? - 10/8/2005 6:33:31 AM

ownedjulia

Posts: 218
Joined: 10/5/2005
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I'm sure there are many Doms on this site that would love to have hear from a submissive.

Why not write a message? Say hello and give a brief reason why your writing then let things go from there!!

_____________________________

~julia
owned slave and proud of it!

(in reply to fyreredsub)

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RE: Protocol? - 10/8/2005 6:39:38 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
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quote:

Does this site have a particular protocol for submissives who would like to write to a Dom?

I write to Dominants on this site all the time, most often to compliment them on a well thought out profile. It is generally well accepted amd welcomed but on the rare occasion that they take issue with me making first contact.....well that in itself is a great indicator to me that they are someone I don't wish to have further contact with anyway.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to fyreredsub)

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RE: Protocol? - 10/8/2005 7:30:18 AM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
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Protocol isn't determined by the site -- it is an individual thing. You can probably pick up cues from reading profiles for just how much would be appropriate. However, you could also think of protocol as a kink and use as much or little as you like to test how the other reacts.

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to fyreredsub)

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RE: Protocol? - 10/8/2005 7:34:38 AM

obis

Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline

It never occurred to me to be offended when subs contacted me. Personal preference.

(in reply to fyreredsub)

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RE: Protocol? - 10/8/2005 7:39:59 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I've never taken offence at any sub who writes to me, never thought of protocol, it is usually someone wanting to make a comment on something I've posted or about my profile or to ask a question. Nothing to get stressed about.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to obis)

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RE: Protocol? - 10/8/2005 8:25:36 AM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
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Speaking as a dominant I always enjoy it when I find a note from a submissive in my mail box. There is no particular protocol other than just common courtesy. I have said before that I do not think submissive should sit passively waiting for DomCharming to come find them (you'll likely end up with lots of frogs instead). I've also suggested that more submissives ought to take advantage of these msg boards as a way to meet and interact with dominants. It gives you more of a chance to see something of what we are like in social situations, how we deal with conflict, etc.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to fyreredsub)

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RE: Protocol? - 10/8/2005 8:34:16 AM

fyreredsub

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Thank you all for your comments.
i do believe i shall keep on the boards.
Some sites the members are rather cliqueish(is this a word?).
Collarme seems much more receptive to learning and meeting others.

(in reply to fyreredsub)

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RE: Protocol? - 10/8/2005 8:43:57 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

One would think that each Dom would have their own preferences.

Quite sure they do, however how do you know if they wish to be contacted or not until you do?
The lifestyle is the same as the vanilla world. If you are afraid to take a chance you're going to be alone.
The most that can happen is the dominant writes back and essentially says they are not interested.
So, you're shot down by one you try another.

(in reply to fyreredsub)

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RE: Protocol? - 10/8/2005 9:40:05 AM

RainGod

Posts: 230
Joined: 7/11/2005
From: Hendersonville, NC
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quote:

Does this site have a particular protocol for submissives who would like to write to a Dom?

Lol... protocol be damned....! I love getting a nice, well-written, hello-type email from a submissive. It is very charming and sexy as far as I am concerned... as long as it isn't one of those that was cut copied and pasted to about a million other guys... lol
Seriously... I like the ones best that mention specific things about My profile they found interesting, and when they want to know more. That tells Me they are interested in knowing Me, and not just interested in a hit-and-miss Dom hunt.
No, I see nothing wrong with a girl approaching a Man in email first. But of course, I am not much into the internet protocol stuff. I am more like this: If you don't speak up, how will I know you want to know Me?

< Message edited by RainGod -- 10/8/2005 9:41:59 AM >

_____________________________

Love is a razor & I walk the line on that silver blade... slept in the dust with His daughter her eyes red with the slaughter of innocence... The evil that men do lives on & on.
~ Iron Maiden

(in reply to fyreredsub)

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RE: Protocol? - 10/8/2005 9:44:54 AM

sweetpettjenny

Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
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ain't that the truth ""wink""

quote:

ORIGINAL: RainGod

quote:

Does this site have a particular protocol for submissives who would like to write to a Dom?

Lol... protocol be damned....! I love getting a nice, well-written, hello-type email from a submissive. It is very charming and sexy as far as I am concerned... as long as it isn't one of those that was cut copied and pasted to about a million other guys... lol
Seriously... I like the ones best that mention specific things about My profile they found interesting, and when they want to know more. That tells Me they are interested in knowing Me, and not just interested in a hit-and-miss Dom hunt.
No, I see nothing wrong with a girl approaching a Man in email first. But of course, I am not much into the internet protocol stuff. I am more like this: If you don't speak up, how will I know you want to know Me?

(in reply to RainGod)

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RE: Protocol? - 10/8/2005 11:52:56 AM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
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Midear FRS-

Certainly, don't be afraid to reach out- at the very least it is flattering that you have taken the time, and summed the courage.

As to the note it's self, a salutation, body and closing, is I think all the protocol needed, But do take a moment to spell check it.

Welcome to CM.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to fyreredsub)

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RE: Protocol? - 10/8/2005 12:59:12 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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If you see someone who captures your attention, write to him (or her). Every outreach doesn't have to be about the possibility of a relationship. You can make friends here and meet some interesting people.

(in reply to topcat)

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RE: Protocol? - 10/8/2005 5:22:59 PM

fyreredsub

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thanks TC

quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

Midear FRS-

Certainly, don't be afraid to reach out- at the very least it is flattering that you have taken the time, and summed the courage.

As to the note it's self, a salutation, body and closing, is I think all the protocol needed, But do take a moment to spell check it.

Welcome to CM.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to topcat)

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RE: Protocol? - 10/8/2005 5:23:58 PM

fyreredsub

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finding a mentor would be nice and making friends with some even nicer

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

If you see someone who captures your attention, write to him (or her). Every outreach doesn't have to be about the possibility of a relationship. You can make friends here and meet some interesting people.

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to KatyLied)

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Post #: 15

RE: Protocol? - 10/9/2005 3:55:21 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
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Best "protocol" I can suggest is always just be yourself.

Main reason I now prefer this site to bondage.com is that they changed the email contact rules and it felt like the place had become a ghost town re my email or any other free member. I enjoy the mail I get here, predominantly from fem/subs, and it makes the site feel alive.

If you write to some dom/me (or anyone else) and you get the protocol b/s back, think of them as someone you won't ever have to bother writing to again. You seem fairly outgoing and email attitude sounds like an early indicator for you that they're a waste of time.

Focus.

(in reply to fyreredsub)

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RE: Protocol? - 10/9/2005 5:15:55 AM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
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Fastlane requires five letter's sent to five people, who will then send it out to five more, each inserting a dollar with my return address on the envelope, for garaunteed happiness and success in finding your Dominant.

Do you have my address Hon?

Peleeeeze, just express your thoughts to whom ever you wish to here and if they don't like it......Good for you.

My Best, Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to Focus50)

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RE: Protocol? - 10/10/2005 5:54:52 PM

RainGod

Posts: 230
Joined: 7/11/2005
From: Hendersonville, NC
Status: offline

Focus wrote:

quote:

Main reason I now prefer this site to bondage.com is that they changed the email contact rules and it felt like the place had become a ghost town re my email or any other free member. I enjoy the mail I get here, predominantly from fem/subs, and it makes the site feel alive.

Yeah.... that "other" site has really declined in traffic too since they pulled that bonehead move. This site has far more going for it.

_____________________________

Love is a razor & I walk the line on that silver blade... slept in the dust with His daughter her eyes red with the slaughter of innocence... The evil that men do lives on & on.
~ Iron Maiden

(in reply to Focus50)

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Post #: 18

RE: Protocol? - 10/10/2005 6:18:02 PM

fyreredsub

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that is the site this girl speaks of and advice was taken to heart and the email well received.
thanks ya'll, a boost of confidence was what was needed in knowing that it was acceptable here.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Best "protocol" I can suggest is always just be yourself.

Main reason I now prefer this site to bondage.com is that they changed the email contact rules and it felt like the place had become a ghost town re my email or any other free member. I enjoy the mail I get here, predominantly from fem/subs, and it makes the site feel alive.

If you write to some dom/me (or anyone else) and you get the protocol b/s back, think of them as someone you won't ever have to bother writing to again. You seem fairly outgoing and email attitude sounds like an early indicator for you that they're a waste of time.

Focus.

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to Focus50)

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RE: Protocol? - 10/10/2005 7:31:34 PM

angelic

Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
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as i've said before... i'm supposed to READ the profiles??? crap i just wanna look at the pictures!