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Orgasm at will? - 4/12/2008 5:56:30 AM   
phoenix92901


Posts: 40
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline 		I guess I should preface my question by saying that I'm very new to the lifestyle and in my first (and hopefully, only) D/s relationship.  My Sir is very loving, patient and kind and has been introducing me to new ideas and experiences slowly.
 
He recently brought up the concept of controlled orgasms.  From now, I'm to ask for permission to cum.  So far he hasn't denied me so I don't know if I'll be able to not cum should he tell me it's not allowed but that's not what I'm curious about at the moment.  He said eventually he wants to be able to just say a word and have me orgasm.  He admits that it's something he hasn't done before but has read and is curious about. 
 
I can see how some would just fake it for the sake of pleasing the Dom/Domme but I have intention of doing that.  Faking an orgasm is like lying and has no place in a good relationship as far as I'm concerned (your opinions may differ, of course). The idea of being able to orgasm at my Sir's command is extemely intriguing.  So my question is... have any of you ever been able to orgasm at will? 
 
Thanks in advance for your answers and suggestions.

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RE: Orgasm at will? - 4/12/2008 6:02:16 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenix92901

 So my question is... have any of you ever been able to orgasm at will? 
 


Some will say yes and others will say that those who say yes are faking it. 

But yes, it can be done.

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RE: Orgasm at will? - 4/12/2008 6:27:43 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		Some do fake it and unfortunatly that leads to the impression for some that everyone does and that it can't be done. I for one would be very irritated at a girl of Mine if she faked it, deception is deception even if she was doing it because she was trying to please.... which would show she didn't know Me at all as I would be far far from pleased.

Given time and conection it is something I can 'train'/draw out, some is basic psychology (Especialy if you take a pavlovian approach) , some from the Dynamic using the voice and 'presence' to spark reactions particular to that individual girl.

It can certainly pass the time when waiting in a supermarket check-out que


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RE: Orgasm at will? - 4/12/2008 6:31:27 AM   
StormsSlave


Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline 		I'll be interested in hearing responses to this, as My Lord has expressed a similar interest.  I am skeptical.  I can't see that it's possible, but I am willing to throw myself on the grenade of experimentation as long as it's all in good fun.

{grabs popcorn}  Someone, please, enlighten us with your experiences.

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RE: Orgasm at will? - 4/12/2008 6:43:33 AM   
metalmiss


Posts: 341
Joined: 5/4/2005
From: Croydon, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse
It can certainly pass the time when waiting in a supermarket check-out que



i just wanted to take this opportunity to say.. i hate You.. Master..

But my serious answer to the question..

quote:

ORIGINAL: pheonix92901

I can see how some would just fake it for the sake of pleasing the Dom/Domme but I have intention of doing that.  Faking an orgasm is like lying and has no place in a good relationship as far as I'm concerned (your opinions may differ, of course). The idea of being able to orgasm at my Sir's command is extemely intriguing.  So my question is... have any of you ever been able to orgasm at will?



i can honestly say i have never faked an orgasm in my life and i can see where you are coming from with that. i agree with you that its lying and is a dishonest thing to do.. which is mostly the reason why its something i have never done.

i have experienced orgasm on command several times in the past to say the least.. It is dependant on being in the right head space at that moment in time. Its a wonderful feeling when it works.
The first time it happened to me was during a "countdown" which gave me plenty of time to build up to it in my mind.. Basically that works by the Dominant counting down from a certain number and the idea is that when they reach zero, you cum.. Probably a good place to start if its something you are interested in exploring. i have been *ahem* given plenty of practice.. And these days, given the right head space and circumstances.. yes.. including the check-out queue in the supermarket *rolls her eyes and blushes* all it takes it a word.
It is a little more advanced but it might be worth a try to look into the concept of NLP training..
Hope this helps x


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RE: Orgasm at will? - 4/12/2008 8:13:31 AM   
lubegirl


Posts: 59
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		It is obvious i am a lucky bitch, because i found my ONE TRUE MASTER and yes..it is delicious i cum on command, it is like nothing i have ever experienced.
I love my Daddy!
 
Lubegirl

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RE: Orgasm at will? - 4/12/2008 9:07:27 AM   
LaMspeach


Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenix92901
 So my question is... have any of you ever been able to orgasm at will? 



Yes, I can orgasm on command at his will.  In my case it took a great amount of trust and consistent training.

Playing with orgasm control shouldn’t be taken light. For some, there comes a point were they can no longer orgasm on their own with out the Dom’s command.

If you would like to talk about this more message me on the other side because as others have said there are some that think this is BS and don’t believe.


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"Only when the year has grown cold does one know that the pine and cypress are the last to wither"



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RE: Orgasm at will? - 4/12/2008 9:09:10 AM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		It takes....time.
 
Its mental....very, and one will fail at times...can`t be all THAT bad when that happens!
 
Enjoy the exchange....

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RE: Orgasm at will? - 4/12/2008 9:15:07 AM   
xBullx


Posts: 4206
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		I must admit I have not discovered how to teach a girl to do this.

I'd like to know how.

It's easy enough to deny orgasm and then in turn making it easy to all at once release her to gush, but the mental discipline a girl must need to orgasm "hands free" is impressive to consider.


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RE: Orgasm at will? - 4/12/2008 10:42:11 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I don't cum on response to a word. But if he just sticks a finger in me, I do. Once only and it still doesn't make me aroused and interested in sex. I have no idea how it works but it works any time except when I've got abdominal pain or cramps.

I do know others have been trained to associate verbal cues and orgasms. One of the simplest is that whenever he feels you close to orgasm he says a simple word like "now". Over time you will link your orgasm to his permission as expressed by him saying now. Then he starts saying it when you aren't that close. Once you can cum at an earlier point, he can slowly move the use of the word up. Eventually the use of the word even without physical arousal will link to a sensation of orgasm. Basically, it's Pavlovian training.

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RE: Orgasm at will? - 4/12/2008 10:50:39 AM   
fairerthanshe


Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings,

I think a lot of it depends on the ability of the girl to orgasm easily in the first place.  For someone who has to really work and concentrate to achieve and orgasm, this may not be a possibility.  If the girl cums more easily and is open to mental stimulation, i.e. spoken fantasy, porn, hypnosis, than to direct physical stimulation, then the opportunity may be ripe for training to cum on command.

I have experienced cumming on command in the past.  Currently, SJ does a lot of hypnosis work with me, and I have become aware of times when he has set a command that takes me to the brink of orgasm without being consciously aware of having had the command set.  Did that sentence make sense?  In other words, SJ has set a command during a hypnosis session.  At the time, he directed me to not be consciously aware of the command.  It is only later in the day or night, that I realize I am becoming stimulated when either a certain word is spoken or a gesture is made or some other trigger has occurred.  That is a little different in terms of goal, but the concept is the same.  Cmail me if you want more information.

Hope your exploration of this fruitful!

well wishes ~ fairer


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RE: Orgasm at will? - 4/12/2008 11:18:35 AM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		Yes, it can be done.   Yes it does take training.  Yes it does take mental stimulation instead of physical.   I also agree that a woman has to be able to cum easily to begin with.   When you let your mind go and get into the right head space, it is one of the most sensual things you can experience ... IMO.    

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RE: Orgasm at will? - 4/12/2008 11:59:25 AM   
goodpet


Posts: 458
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenix92901

  He said eventually he wants to be able to just say a word and have me orgasm.  He admits that it's something he hasn't done before but has read and is curious about. 
 
 
This has been going around for so long. Without going into a lot of details with behavior modification, but from that background's point of view: 

Yes it can be done.
But it's rare to really do it.
It would take a long time of intense training and behavior modification.
It would be very difficult to train someone part time -once in a while - play setting.

But it is an online/fiction fantasy that is pretty hot. so Doms like it.

quote:


I can see how some would just fake it for the sake of pleasing the Dom/Domme but I have intention of doing that.  Faking an orgasm is like lying and has no place in a good relationship as far as I'm concerned (your opinions may differ, of course). The idea of being able to orgasm at my Sir's command is extemely intriguing.  So my question is... have any of you ever been able to orgasm at will? 
 
Thanks in advance for your answers and suggestions.



You are so right. In subbie meetings i have been to or held along the east coast area, this has come up often. I have met one girl who said she really do it. All the others said they faked it because they felt so much pressure to please thier Master.

It's kind like, if master X says his sub will cum on command, then the other masters want their girls to do it and the girls don't want their master to be in the only one who could not train them, so they want to please and make their master feel good and powerful.

WHAT DOES WORK...

You can use mild behaivor modification of association.  Think of sexual excitment as a scale 1 - 10.

1 nothing      3 thinking getting aroused.           5 getting mosit and aroused 
7 excited       9 on the edge just a bit more to   10 the organizm

If everytime you cum he says something, a word or short phase, that you don't hear or associate with other things.  It should not be a word you use in other places or it's association will be split.

After enough times you associate the word with the feeling. What will happen is that it will kick in the excitement of the moment. What happens (usually) is that where ever you are on the scale, it will bump you up one maybe two steps.. 

So from a cold start, it would get you arounsed and ready. from mid way it might get you close.. and the best.. if you are at an 8 or 9 it can bump you over the edge..

So from the behavior modification point of view, it would be very difficult cum on command from a cold start.   But in the heat of moment, it can be used to move you over the edge at his command.

QUESTION:

Why do you not see men come on command from a cold start?  Cause they can't fake it.






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RE: Orgasm at will? - 4/12/2008 12:15:23 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I am pretty much down the line with goodpet, save one thing mentioned....

Here is the deal, this is a win-win situation if looked at properly...You shoot for the moon, fail miserably and hit the stars.

No matter what, don't fake it and do not attend to any feminine feelings of "pressure" to perform it.  Easier said than done right?


Look, communicate that you are feeling pressured, and work it out with him, let him soothe you on that matter, it is ok if you dont hit the jackpot, but for women it startw with you gotta wanna, and if you can increase the gotta wanna, you are a long way towards home.

Look, say you just got done scrubbing the toilet, and hes gonna take you, you are so not fucking into it, say you had a bad day whatever, if he can lift you from a -5 to a zero, or from a -5 to a plus two, at least you are copping the lowgrade good feeling out of it, if he can get you from a 2 to a 5 so much the better, and remember, you got the rest of your life to get that one magic moment.

Someday you will be washing dishes, and he will say, 'slaveguirl, come!' and you will misunderstand and splash your goo all over the linoleum, when in fact all he wanted you to do was get the remote for him, that laid on the coffee table out of reach.

Do not fake it, constantly cultivate the proper gotta wanna attitude, relax and try as hard as you can (like tai chi, look inward) and remember, failure in this case is really great success........you are just on the journey, you have not missed the destination, you are just traveling slower than we all hope for.


And if the Master doesn't agree with that, kick the fucker to the curb.


Ron

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RE: Orgasm at will? - 4/12/2008 12:21:38 PM   
SensualPassion41


Posts: 32
Joined: 4/2/2007
Status: offline 		My Master taught me to cum on command and to be able to cum thinking of past experiences with him.  It took time and careful training on his part.  It has made some very vanilla settings more interesting.   Never once have I faked cumming.
My Master is now teaching me to squirt on command.

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RE: Orgasm at will? - 4/12/2008 2:24:34 PM   
pinkwind


Posts: 367
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline 		my Master found out very early on in our relationship that he nor i could control my orgasms than he could part the Red Sea, and that there was no point in trying because all it would be was pretence leading to guilt and dissatisfaction, and what's the point of that?

He plays my mind and body to produce feelings in me that give him pleasure, and if i cannot hold the floodgates back it's because whatever he is doing at the time is working rather well, and everybody's a winner. That he gets off on being an orgasmic sadist, making me cum so often or so strongly that i scream for him to leave me alone also means that holding back would be counter productive at times.

Personally the jury is out on whether there can be real orgasm control beyond a certain point, even with signs being read and stimulation stopped. There comes (!) a time when nothing could stop an orgasm, not even a nuclear attack, and i don't think it is control so much as removal of stimulation, or maybe self control of the one doing the stimulating.

All i know is when i feel an orgasm rise in me i have my Masters blessing to ride it out and enjoy it to the full. What happens afterwards is out of my hands!


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RE: Orgasm at will? - 4/12/2008 3:44:00 PM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		I do agree with LaMspeach...
 
My experience on both *sides* was that kind of conditioning once taken away made it very difficult to orgasm for many...many...months.
 
ALways seems theres a price to pay at some...point.
 
I do not agree with what some others have said that it is rare...to achieve.
 
One must be patient...
 
Its very intimate...at least for...me, with someone.
 
Just another  deeper depth one is able to take and share with one that is....willing.
 
D

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RE: Orgasm at will? - 4/12/2008 5:43:39 PM   
LaMspeach


Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline 		A few people have made the comment that it depends on the girl’s ability to come easily in the first place. That wasn’t the case for me…. It wasn’t until I started working with Master controlling my orgasms that reaching an orgasm became easier for me.

For me it had a lot to do with trust, being totally honest and allowing Master to control my body and my mind. He took the time to learn about me from the inside out until I felt so comfortable and connected to him that it became easy and natural to give over my orgasms. Yes it still took training but I think you have to reach total trust before you can even begin training.


ThunderCry- I agree there is a price for everything. That is why I believe you should build trust before attempting this.


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"Only when the year has grown cold does one know that the pine and cypress are the last to wither"



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RE: Orgasm at will? - 4/12/2008 5:53:41 PM   
realtuffdom


Posts: 108
Joined: 7/16/2007
Status: offline 		I've always discovered I can orgasm if I pay an extra $20.




Oh wait, we're talking about something different here.


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I have lots and lots of experience at domination. Now I'd just like to try it with a partner....

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RE: Orgasm at will? - 4/12/2008 5:56:36 PM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		You hit it right on the head....
 
After reading your post and those of others as well as posting myself I thought the main thing to it was as you stated...trust, and sometimes its deep...trust.
 
As I male, when I was subbing/bottoming, one of my goals as to be able to accomplish...this. What hindered it was some trust issues. It was like a door could not...open. I was always and almost right *there*...coulda put my fist thru a wall a few times =laughs=
 
Once your able to give that kind of trust and power over to someone...the door opens and like someone else said, it makes some types of setting sooooooooooooo much more enjoyable...
 
Thanks for your insight....peach.

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