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RE: A hot way to do this? - 4/14/2008 2:17:06 PM

daddysliloneds

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the way it's always been done with me, unless i'm already in sub-space, is when i say "ow", they back off a little, if not, all's good and nothing needs to be done...

i know "ow" is not a safeword, but when i say it, it's akin to having a grown man rolling on the floor crying from pain, and anyone that knows me, knows that, even play partners...

now recently, something new was tried on me, and it instantly made me fly, yet when he asked me; more? once i was able to say 'yes please', and the other time i had to say 'i don't know'; both times it senting me crashing right out of flight to a hard bottom, so "ow" seemed to get said real fast as i mentally wasn't where i had just been to take it...

and while i know it wasn't his intentions, it did kind of blow the moment for me, so i prefer them not to check in on me unless i tell them "ow" or 'red'...

oops, forgot to mention that generally if he's checking in on me and it's not verbal checking; he's looking right into my eyes or rubbing his hand across the small of my back, which is extremely hot for me!

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RE: A hot way to do this? - 4/14/2008 2:20:14 PM

sirsholly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Grab her by the hair on the back of her head-and look into her eyes.

*fans self* this would work for me

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RE: A hot way to do this? - 4/14/2008 2:48:06 PM

Phin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Grab her by the hair on the back of her head-and look into her eyes.

I like to prenegotiate this... handfull of hair, look into her eyes, anything other than yellow red or a streight out answer similar to "i cant take any more" keep it going. If I can tell that all things are good, then usually I wont check in, unless I just feel like pulling hair.

I like pulling hair.

Also, I am with chelle and Domi, you spit water into my mouth, I spit it in your face. but if it is your thing, then go with it.

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RE: A hot way to do this? - 4/14/2008 5:16:47 PM

BossyShoeBitch

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Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Somedays I believe in warmups, some days I don't, I kind of like the wild eyed look of fear of "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO ME" when I just haul off and smack her ass. Plus that sound of a well placed hand or paddle makes my cock hard. Checking in is easy, you can say "I need to know, on a scale of 1-10 the intensity of that impact and your percieved ability to accomdate additional kenetic foreplay" That might work for those who love glasses if you do it wearing a pair with masking tape hold them together.

"Lisa, if you don't get that fucking ass higher in the air so I can see that wet cunt of yours, this session is going to end" is another way of checking in.

Or

"I think I am being a bit hard on the beave tonight dear, you can't even keep your ass in the air" is another and if that ass shoots back up, wail away.

Boy I miss that ass!

Okay, somebody tell me i am not the only one who is dreadfully jealous of BSB right now........ *fanning self* Damn!!!

What can I say? I am one lucky girl!!
(btw, all you have to do is ask... Michael is a very generous man and I am sure he'd be happy to have you join in the fun!)

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RE: A hot way to do this? - 4/14/2008 5:28:13 PM

BossyShoeBitch

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

quote:

"Can you take more for me?" (If I suspect they are close to their limits and we have the relationship where I can ask for more)

For A certain woman, asking this alone can send them over the edge in a VERY good way.

OMG!! YES!

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RE: A hot way to do this? - 4/14/2008 5:31:29 PM

Floggings4You

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I only 'check in' on My sub when I get a sense that something isn't quite right. Usually, she's plenty vocal enough that I can tell that she's enjoying things--and if she can vocalize, I know she could just as easily use her safeword, if she needed to.

But, if I hear a sound that isn't one of her usual 'pleasure sounds', it's no trouble (and usually not any sort of 'break' in the 'flow' of O/our play) for Me to lean against her, run My hand down the length of her body, and whisper in her ear, "You're enjoying this, aren't you, you little slut?!" A breathy, moaned "Yes!" later, and the beating continues...

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RE: A hot way to do this? - 4/14/2008 5:42:53 PM

rawkmehard

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Sir and i only recently implemented the yellow, orange, red system that gives me the ability to warn him:

1) when i'm getting close to not being able to take it (yellow)
2) i've got about 30 seconds in me before i crumble (orange)
3) omg-pleasestopwhatyou'redoingnow! but don't necessarily stop the whole scene-we need to talk!!!(red)

i've only used it once so far, because now he's really great at reading my body language and interpreting my gutteral utterances. (usually during anything intense i lose the ability to say much more than yes or no, Sir)

but him checking in on me rarely detracts from anything we're doing simply because i find it incredibly re-affirming when he stops long enough to ask if i can take more or if i'm ready. perhaps it's because i've been in situations in which i WASN'T being asked that i can appreciate it so much more? *wants to ponder that some more*

i can think of less than 5 times in which i thought he ended something pre-emptively or was 'going easy' on me when i could have taken more. now i WISH he'd ever end something early!!

anyway, i think physical contact, eye contact, and tone of voice make all the difference. sometimes Sir pressing his body close or on top of mine can focus me when i feel all drifty and not completely sure of my pain tolerance level.

and sometimes, him just saying "look at me, cunt" very stern helps me snap right to attention.

i should call Sir....

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RE: A hot way to do this? - 4/14/2008 7:36:08 PM

Lynnxz

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Apparently I fail when it comes to communication during a heavy impact kind of scene. The more intense it gets, the quieter I get.

He has adopted the "Look at me Bitch" line to check in... it works quite well. ^_^

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RE: A hot way to do this? - 4/14/2008 8:57:39 PM

Vigilantejustice

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Lynnxz,

You aren't the only one. My boy goes positively non-verbal the moment I hit the sub-button (we're both switches, but I am generally the dominant partner) unless you count the whimpering. We've only been together for a few months, so I'm still trying to figure out which whimpers mean "YES!!!" and which whimpers mean "NO!!!" I won't deny that I've probably killed the mood dozens of times by grabbing his face in my hands and saying "Are you okay? Is this good?"

I'm finding this thread pretty helpful actually, but if anyone has any advice on dealing specifically with nonverbal bottoms I'd love to hear it. (Ooops, was that a quasi-hijack?)
-Corinne

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RE: A hot way to do this? - 4/14/2008 9:50:57 PM

katie978

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   Typically, he'll just ask me if everything's alright. It doesn't really kill the mood, since he only asks if he senses something is wrong or we're trying something very intense and very new. In the latter cases, I typically can use that few second break to recouperate. At this point, he can more or less tell when something isn't working for me. Everytime I've safeworded, he'd been pretty much expecting it.

   The hand squeezing thing-while somewhat less intrusive) would be useless for me, since my hands frequently get trembly and occasionally get completely numb when we're doing stuff. He switches implements fairly frequently, and I imagine the kissing them would get really old, really fast.

    I'm on board with everyone who thinks the water dribbling/drooling is gross.... Maybe in the moment, it could be hot, but outside of it....eeeeh. And I tend to be very oral, what with kissing and biting and ....other things.So I imagine it's more personal preference than whether one tends to be oral-orientated.

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