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stella41b -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (5/12/2008 10:22:47 PM)
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I've just read through the whole thread.. My curiosity was piqued by the OP (funny thing curiosity, it gets you into trouble sometimes) and I originally intended just to read through the first couple of pages and move on.. But then I came across much knicker-twisting and so I read further.
Take a look at me, my life, who I am, and I'm sure you will find no end of labels with which to attach to me, stereotypes, you can make any number of assumptions, judgments, form your opinions without even having made any contact with me. I am aware of this, I live out there in the real world, but I know who I am and I know who I am not. I have my own moral code, it is my own moral code, and I live it 24/7 and stick to it without any exceptions. I feel I have a somewhat rational and balanced view of life and society, I see people for who they are.
Life is life, and it doesn't matter how sick, depraved, sordid it gets, that person is still living and there is still something that person can get from life. It's their life, they have their own perceptions of life, they have to make their decisions, they speak the words, they commit the deeds, and they live with the conseqnences. Living has much to do with motivation and reason, and you may not understand these or be able to work them out in others.
The Internet in many ways is a community and marketplace of faith and belief. Everything on it, irrespective of whether it is presented as fact or opinion, is subject to both perception and perspective. Sometimes there is even something known as suspension of belief.. you don't believe it in reality, but you put your own objections aside and give something or someone the benefit of the doubt. Welcome to the world of virtual reality, and virtual reality can only ever really be subject to your own perception of reality. What this tends to do is polarize people to varying degrees to two opposite extremes - extreme gullibility and extreme scepticism. Go through the boards on any day and I can guarantee to you that you will find people who fit into either of these two extremes, in varying degrees.
But this is in reality no different from life, from opening your front door and stepping outside into the real world. The acronym BDSM is not an oasis from society, but part of it, and whatever is out there on the streets, good and evil, can be found too online via the Internet, it can be found on this website, it can be found on e-Bay, wherever you care to look. The common denominator is you, and what is in your head - your mind. It's you who switches the computer on, it's you who uses the mouse to click on icons to start programs, it's you who types on the keyboard, who enters websites, who reads, processes information, who contributes and writes the words.
We only know each other as far as our perception will allow us to. Yes I look around me, I see people doing things or getting involved in things I wouldn't, I see people out on the prowl, looking for an easy lay, casual play, casual sex, but I also see people who don't. But you know I don't live their lives, my moral code doesn't apply to them. It only applies to me.
It's very easy to get upset with other people online, other people can upset you, but the responsibility (big word here) lies with you, you have to make that decision. You cannot be held responsible for people upsetting you, but then again you ARE responsible for anticipating how people will treat you and perceive you. People make mistakes, people misjudge you, people misunderstood, because they are human. Just like you. Nobody is perfect. But where the responsibility lies is how you respond when you are upset. You are the one making the decision here.
If I were to get on my moral high horse every time someone upset me be sure I would be starting threads here a couple of times every day and ranting like a loonie. Yes nobody is perfect, me included, I get the wrong end of the stick, and I don't always react the best way, but quite often it's best to stop and think. Quite often the best response is no response. Let it go, move on, refuse to play the game or take the bait. Life is about choosing your causes, choosing your issues, and choosing your actions and reactions.
You see other people quite often perceive you differently to the way you perceive yourself. Nothing you can do about that. Besides it's their right. If you are happy with being who you are, the way you live, and your moral code, why make it a subject of discussion? You have nothing to prove to anyone, not everybody is going to like you or treat you the way you want to be treated. It's best just to be yourself, live the way you want to live, and let everyone else work it out for themselves.
Smile, pay compliments - it confuses them even further.
Stella, the original sinner..
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