RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (Full Version)

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NakedOnMyChain -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/15/2008 9:53:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedOnMyChain



I haven't read the other posts yet, but I had to throw my opinion into the ring.



quote:

I read that as "throw my onion into the ring". I got very confused. Yes, I now have my glasses on.[8|]




LOL.  Well, I have been known to throw the occasional vegetable when displeased.




Poetryinpain -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/15/2008 10:26:53 AM)

~fr~

Some of us old fogies still see sex as something to be indulged only in the company of someone we have great affection for. Note I do not say love. Of course, when one loves another sex is a great part of the package, but it can spice up a relationship that hasn't reached the 'love' point and may never do so. I confess that for many years 'love' was the only criterion I would follow, but as the years have gone by I have lifted self-imposed restrictions.

I have known marriages that were deeply affectionate (even loving) but non-sexual friendships (usually for medical reasons). The need not to have sex in those circumstances was mutually acceptable to both parties. I have also seen relationships that were not marriages but included sex (lots of sex sometimes) that were just as strong as marriages. And I have known people who engage in serial casual sex and exhibit no lack of moral fiber.

One chooses one's battles, and if one doesn't wish to become trampled, one chooses wisely. Sexual activity between (or among) consenting adults, if it is harming no one physically, emotionally, or financially, is not a battle I choose to engage. There are so many other things that need to be challenged.

I sometimes feel like I need to bathe my eyeballs after reading some of the messages I have received. But a quick use of the 'delete' button clears my mailbox and my head.

pip, to each his/her own




DChammer -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/17/2008 10:23:53 PM)

Isn't everyone's aspiration to be a slut?

What is better than waking up and having no clue where you are, how you got there, or know who you are with, but still feeling all very good about it when you see the used condom wrapper on the nightstand.





GreedyTop -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/17/2008 10:27:40 PM)

*snicker*




RainbowBalloon -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/23/2008 4:44:58 PM)

Well the fact that he had to tell the internet (i.e. whoever reads his blogs/ journals) that he got rejected just shows that he has low self-esteem and is looking for justification from others.






texancutie2 -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/23/2008 4:58:47 PM)

I am sure it has been harped about already....but...but...but...casual play can be just BDSM play and doesn't have to include sex, though it could.  But then again I say to each his own thing.  Funny that this came up at a time when I am seeking to explore more bottoming type activities with another female switch or Dominant, under my Dom's watchful eye.  Can't seem to spell today...oh well.





thedudetg -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (5/12/2008 4:25:49 PM)

Katsmeow, I see what your saying, and I agree, but you shouldn't assume every man you meet on here is looking for a quick hook-up or a one-night stand. There are several dominant men that seek romance, and from what all I've seen, most of the best BDSM relationships are the ones that have a hearty romantic foundation. You can't assume that the man you might message is looking for sex right away, he could be looking to get to know you, learn about your life, and learn about who you are, and if the two of you make a great match. He might not even think about any sort of "bedroom" relationship with you until you bring it up, really, out of respect for you. There are gentlemen out there like that, but they may not be so common. If you find one, I'd recommend you don't dismiss him into the group of all the people you've found that have been looking for easy women.




Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (5/12/2008 5:32:17 PM)

This lifestyle is just a slice of the world.  There are always those people who simply wanna fuck, and those who are seeking a deeper more meaningful relationship.  It's not a reflection of the lifestyle, but of human nature itself.  

Ok, this is a Kinky Adult BDSM sex dating website after all.  It's a bit of a magnet for people who are sexual and into BDSM to come here.   There will always be people simply looking to fuck coming here, there will also always be people looking for deeper meaningful relationships.

Yes, it's possible to keep your own morals in tact and be in this lifestyle.  The morals of other people might not always be the same of yours.   Just look for somebody who's like minded. 

There are many Doms online that are looking for a serious relationship, just be patient.   Have you thought about being more active in your search, by responding to profiles of those that appear might be a match?





Hippiekinkster -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (5/12/2008 5:48:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: katsmeow

So, I don't post a lot, but something is really bothering me more and more on here. The more I read e-mail, the more people just want 'play.' Is it impossible to keep your morals in tact and still be in this lifestyle?
 
I talked to someone today who wrote a nasty journal entry about me, because I'm apparently prude. Just because I don't want to take my clothes off and play with a stranger I just met? I call that being safe... But really, my point of view on this is, play being like a vanilla second date, the initial one is a nice dinner, and second one is bringing over edible body paint and licking it off of one another's nude bodies with no emotional connection. I don't deny that there are exceptions to this, but really, is it that common?
 
What happened to the days when people were sane, and didn't want girls that fucked everything with legs?  =[

Oh before AIDS and HIV? The world of the 60's and 70's makes today's scene look like a fundamentalist church outing.
Yeah, really. Damn, that was fun.




riffmaker -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (5/12/2008 6:01:14 PM)

sends wild applause and wolf whistles err maybe not the whistles




celticlord2112 -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (5/12/2008 6:37:25 PM)

quote:

Lots and lots of play that can be done without sex ... and even without taking too many clothes off!

And we would want to leave the clothes on because....?????

(Just wanting to understand the concept here [:D])




servantheart -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (5/12/2008 6:49:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DChammer

Isn't everyone's aspiration to be a slut?

What is better than waking up and having no clue where you are, how you got there, or know who you are with, but still feeling all very good about it when you see the used condom wrapper on the nightstand.




[sm=buddies.gif][sm=brush.gif][sm=LMAO.gif]




Leatherist -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (5/12/2008 6:51:38 PM)

It's a fast food mentality that the scene and general life these days foster.

Don't worry about the babies with no patience, a man will come along eventually.

Just don't let the squalling from the infant minds harden you to him when he arrives. [;)]




HornyToadsMI -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (5/12/2008 7:03:10 PM)

Wow, this is a tasty little thread.......

Each kink to its own.  Be gentle where you tread, hon.  Some of the best play times are "spur of the moment" with a stranger.  That is how i found BDSM.  i was at a swingers convention with my husband Toad, and W/we found the dungeon. i was flogged by a Dom while He watched.  It was intense and incredible.  So, dont judge until you try - you might be surprised.....




HornyToadsMI -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (5/12/2008 7:06:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DChammer

Isn't everyone's aspiration to be a slut?

What is better than waking up and having no clue where you are, how you got there, or know who you are with, but still feeling all very good about it when you see the used condom wrapper on the nightstand.




Sounds like the aftermath of a house party at the Toad's Pad.......tee hee hee




Padriag -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (5/12/2008 7:40:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: katsmeow

So, I don't post a lot, but something is really bothering me more and more on here. The more I read e-mail, the more people just want 'play.' Is it impossible to keep your morals in tact and still be in this lifestyle?
 
I talked to someone today who wrote a nasty journal entry about me, because I'm apparently prude. Just because I don't want to take my clothes off and play with a stranger I just met? I call that being safe... But really, my point of view on this is, play being like a vanilla second date, the initial one is a nice dinner, and second one is bringing over edible body paint and licking it off of one another's nude bodies with no emotional connection. I don't deny that there are exceptions to this, but really, is it that common?
 
What happened to the days when people were sane, and didn't want girls that fucked everything with legs?  =[

:: shrugs ::

You may find that much about this site and the internet in general is much easier to take if you...
a) only rarely take any of it very seriously
b) keep a grain of salt the size of your average salt lick handy

Just my two bits on the subject... YMMV




stella41b -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (5/12/2008 10:22:47 PM)

I've just read through the whole thread.. My curiosity was piqued by the OP (funny thing curiosity, it gets you into trouble sometimes) and I originally intended just to read through the first couple of pages and move on.. But then I came across much knicker-twisting and so I read further.

Take a look at me, my life, who I am, and I'm sure you will find no end of labels with which to attach to me, stereotypes, you can make any number of assumptions, judgments, form your opinions without even having made any contact with me. I am aware of this, I live out there in the real world, but I know who I am and I know who I am not. I have my own moral code, it is my own moral code, and I live it 24/7 and stick to it without any exceptions. I feel I have a somewhat rational and balanced view of life and society, I see people for who they are.

Life is life, and it doesn't matter how sick, depraved, sordid it gets, that person is still living and there is still something that person can get from life. It's their life, they have their own perceptions of life, they have to make their decisions, they speak the words, they commit the deeds, and they live with the conseqnences. Living has much to do with motivation and reason, and you may not understand these or be able to work them out in others.

The Internet in many ways is a community and marketplace of faith and belief. Everything on it, irrespective of whether it is presented as fact or opinion, is subject to both perception and perspective. Sometimes there is even something known as suspension of belief.. you don't believe it in reality, but you put your own objections aside and give something or someone the benefit of the doubt. Welcome to the world of virtual reality, and virtual reality can only ever really be subject to your own perception of reality. What this tends to do is polarize people to varying degrees to two opposite extremes - extreme gullibility and extreme scepticism. Go through the boards on any day and I can guarantee to you that you will find people who fit into either of these two extremes, in varying degrees.

But this is in reality no different from life, from opening your front door and stepping outside into the real world. The acronym BDSM is not an oasis from society, but part of it, and whatever is out there on the streets, good and evil, can be found too online via the Internet, it can be found on this website, it can be found on e-Bay, wherever you care to look. The common denominator is you, and what is in your head - your mind. It's you who switches the computer on, it's you who uses the mouse to click on icons to start programs, it's you who types on the keyboard, who enters websites, who reads, processes information, who contributes and writes the words.

We only know each other as far as our perception will allow us to. Yes I look around me, I see people doing things or getting involved in things I wouldn't, I see people out on the prowl, looking for an easy lay, casual play, casual sex, but I also see people who don't. But you know I don't live their lives, my moral code doesn't apply to them. It only applies to me.

It's very easy to get upset with other people online, other people can upset you, but the responsibility (big word here) lies with you, you have to make that decision. You cannot be held responsible for people upsetting you, but then again you ARE responsible for anticipating how people will treat you and perceive you. People make mistakes, people misjudge you, people misunderstood, because they are human. Just like you. Nobody is perfect. But where the responsibility lies is how you respond when you are upset. You are the one making the decision here.

If I were to get on my moral high horse every time someone upset me be sure I would be starting threads here a couple of times every day and ranting like a loonie. Yes nobody is perfect, me included, I get the wrong end of the stick, and I don't always react the best way, but quite often it's best to stop and think. Quite often the best response is no response. Let it go, move on, refuse to play the game or take the bait. Life is about choosing your causes, choosing your issues, and choosing your actions and reactions.

You see other people quite often perceive you differently to the way you perceive yourself. Nothing you can do about that. Besides it's their right. If you are happy with being who you are, the way you live, and your moral code, why make it a subject of discussion? You have nothing to prove to anyone, not everybody is going to like you or treat you the way you want to be treated. It's best just to be yourself, live the way you want to live, and let everyone else work it out for themselves.

Smile, pay compliments - it confuses them even further.

Stella, the original sinner..




GreedyTop -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (5/12/2008 11:42:41 PM)

great post, Stella :) (as usual....)




beltainefaerie -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (5/12/2008 11:51:32 PM)

To the OP, I get your irritation, but I also understand why people felt you were taking the position that anyone who played casually was immoral.  You are an adult and get to choose whether to play or not to play, to get naked or not, etc. 
I personally love being called a slut, but I wouldn't just hop into anyone's bed.  I was totally monogamous for the first 6 years of my marriage and would be still if my husband had not decided that he wanted to let me honor my poly nature.  For years I practiced BDSM without any sex, so I think what others have mentioned about play not immediately indicating nudity or sex is important.  Even with my Master, for about the first year, I was required to remain partially clothed.  

If it were up to me, I would engage in casual play at parties, but not sex.  However, those in charge of me have directed that I may not play with strangers, even knowing it wouldn't involve sex.  I get that for some people, play is as intimate as sex, whether sex is part of it or not.  Perhaps you are one of those people.

All of these choices are personal.  Someone is not right or wrong in these kinds of choices, but merely following their own code.  It is fine for us all to have different codes.  Just try and find parters that match your view of morality and all should be well.




BrigandDoom -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (5/13/2008 2:45:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: katsmeow

So, I don't post a lot, but something is really bothering me more and more on here. The more I read e-mail, the more people just want 'play.' Is it impossible to keep your morals in tact and still be in this lifestyle?
 
I talked to someone today who wrote a nasty journal entry about me, because I'm apparently prude. Just because I don't want to take my clothes off and play with a stranger I just met? I call that being safe... But really, my point of view on this is, play being like a vanilla second date, the initial one is a nice dinner, and second one is bringing over edible body paint and licking it off of one another's nude bodies with no emotional connection. I don't deny that there are exceptions to this, but really, is it that common?
 
What happened to the days when people were sane, and didn't want girls that fucked everything with legs?  =[


Unfortunately it's one of the things you have to endure when using the internet, along with the pisstakers, scammers and general fuckwitts who seem to infect all walks of life. As I point out to people who don't like what my morals or views, "if you don't like, don't bother me because the chances are I'm not going to like you or want to get to know you!"
We are all individuals, we all have our own perspective and to be honest unless your dealing with someone who advocating something illegal or downright dangerous then it a case of "judge not, unless ye wishes to be judged".




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