Seriously, when did this become a joke? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

katsmeow -> Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/13/2008 10:05:57 PM)

So, I don't post a lot, but something is really bothering me more and more on here. The more I read e-mail, the more people just want 'play.' Is it impossible to keep your morals in tact and still be in this lifestyle?
 
I talked to someone today who wrote a nasty journal entry about me, because I'm apparently prude. Just because I don't want to take my clothes off and play with a stranger I just met? I call that being safe... But really, my point of view on this is, play being like a vanilla second date, the initial one is a nice dinner, and second one is bringing over edible body paint and licking it off of one another's nude bodies with no emotional connection. I don't deny that there are exceptions to this, but really, is it that common?
 
What happened to the days when people were sane, and didn't want girls that fucked everything with legs?  =[



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/13/2008 10:18:41 PM)

Yes, it really is that common.

But I wouldn't go around saying people aren't sane, or immoral, just because they want to and enjoy fucking and playing casually.  It's just a matter of choice and preference for what works.  If someone wants what you don't, you say no thanks and move on.  If you want something that they don't, you say ok and move on.



FangsNfeet -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/13/2008 10:26:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: katsmeow

What happened to the days when people were sane, and didn't want girls that fucked everything with legs?  =[


When where those days?

There once was a time where men wanted two types of women. The "good girl" as the wife where there was some sex now and then to bring up a family to raise. Then you had the naughty mistress on the side for the freaky hanky panky.

It's all there in the History of Sex and double standards in the morals of sex.

Anyrate, I will answer yes to the question that my morals are in tact as I activly participate in BDSM with my wife/sub. Rather than having someone on the side, pet is queen around my arm in public and my naughty whore in bed. I wouldn't have it any other way.

We chatted over a month before we met. We got to know each other and knew what to expect for our first date. Yes, there always has to be physical chemistry with me. Also, with or without an emotional connection, I also need there to be a mental connection. I like being with people who think a little bit like me.    



MaamJay -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/13/2008 10:28:31 PM)

And when did play become fucking? Lots and lots of play that can be done without sex ... and even without taking too many clothes off! Methinks the OP needs to widen her concepts of play and at least ASK what others might have in mind when they use that term.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]



LadyPact -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/13/2008 10:40:22 PM)

Ma'amJay, I'm with you 100%.  Time after time I write a reply to a post that talks about casual play, and it's almost an automatic need to add a disclaimer that I'm talking about play, NOT sex.  There really is a possibility that one might exist without the other, though I have had many issues with those who couldn't understand that there was a difference.



tebe12345 -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/13/2008 11:09:38 PM)

Also, there's a lot of requests like that in vanilla chatrooms. Just a thought.



CalifChick -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/13/2008 11:23:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: katsmeow

The more I read e-mail, the more people just want 'play.' Is it impossible to keep your morals in tact and still be in this lifestyle?

What happened to the days when people were sane, and didn't want girls that fucked everything with legs?  =[


So many non sequiturs, where to even begin.  What does BDSM play have to do with intact or non-intact morals?  And what do intact or non-intact morals have to do with "this lifestyle"?

What does sanity have to do or not have to do with wanting to have sex?

Why do you imply that anyone without YOUR morals is immoral?

Cali



RCdc -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/13/2008 11:38:41 PM)

I am reading this and seeing that you are making just as many assumptions about others and what constitutes play or BDSM or immoral as you are accusing others of(in a sense).
 
So obviously it is common and you are no exception but a part of.
 
the.dark.



UncleNasty -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/13/2008 11:46:52 PM)

We all get to make the parameters that suit us. Best not to judge anyone else for theirs lest they judge us for ours.

Just be patient. A suitable partner will eventually be found.

Bringing morals into it could be hazardous. Many of the vanillas think we're all just one step away from being Satanists already.

Uncle Nasty



IronBear -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/14/2008 12:02:31 AM)

I agree with most of what is said here. It is the same cross section of humanity as you'd get at any international group. That you choose to maintain yourt personal morality says a lot for you and fgor that I say BRAVA!!! It will restrict you to those who respect your requirements but that to happens to many here.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)




SNoB -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/14/2008 12:31:48 AM)

Well for a lot of people, play can be a very intense emotional experience as well as very intimate, a lot like sex.  So they may tend to be most comfortable only sharing that with someone that they are in a relationship with, or people they know very well.  That is their right, isnt it?  No one should pressure them to do something they dont want to do, or be upset when they turn someone down.

For a lot of other people playing is a very fun experience that can be casual with no emotional connection that just feels good, a lot like sex.  So those people might feel just fine playing with people they just met, much like a swinger might have sex with someone they just met.  Again, its totally their choice.

For me personally, I do play casually outside of the relationship I have with my sub.  I dont do it often, I have no know the person, and I also prefer not to play with someone that everyone plays with.  My sub on the other hand, only enjoys playing with someone she is in a relationship with.



SweetiePie26 -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/14/2008 12:44:39 AM)

why would what other adults choose to do bother you? and who are you to say someone is immoral for wanting to play casually?... a bit judgemental don't you think.. just the ones who say you are a prude..



daddysblondie -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/14/2008 12:53:00 AM)

Dammit, just when i spent the weekend trying to come up with a good rebuttal to the argument that being into BDSM doesn't make us immoral and now i find out we ARE!

Daddy and i played (no sex) the first time we met. We talked for a couple weeks, decided we wanted to meet in person. We met in public and went back to his house about two hours later. The rest, as they say, is history...



BitaTruble -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/14/2008 1:41:00 AM)

quote:

Seriously, when did this become a joke?


Nov 1, 2004 when Lois Griffin turned to Peter Griffin on Family Guy and said, "Tonight's safeword is banana."

[sm=mistress.gif]

Celeste



maisy10 -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/14/2008 1:45:29 AM)

I totally agree with you, Katsmeow. Its gets me down sometimes because sometimes this lifestyle or site seems like one big porn show.



colouredin -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/14/2008 2:40:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: maisy10

I totally agree with you, Katsmeow. Its gets me down sometimes because sometimes this lifestyle or site seems like one big porn show.


And what would be wrong with that?

In seriousness get over it, sorry but not everyone wants what you want, (how is that a shock to you) some people want play good for them, least they are honest about it. And you are 21, as am I without being rude, how can you talk about the days when people didnt just want someone to open their legs, people have liked that as long as I have been aware of sex (and thats not very long, I kinda think that talking about the good old days at 21 is a bit ummm odd) And as has been mentioned D/s play doesnt mean sexual intercourse.

I think this post was inspired by a bad encounter with another member, report the journal entry and move on.



Prinsexx -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/14/2008 2:46:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: katsmeow

So, I don't post a lot, but something is really bothering me more and more on here. The more I read e-mail, the more people just want 'play.' Is it impossible to keep your morals in tact and still be in this lifestyle?
 
I talked to someone today who wrote a nasty journal entry about me, because I'm apparently prude. Just because I don't want to take my clothes off and play with a stranger I just met? I call that being safe... But really, my point of view on this is, play being like a vanilla second date, the initial one is a nice dinner, and second one is bringing over edible body paint and licking it off of one another's nude bodies with no emotional connection. I don't deny that there are exceptions to this, but really, is it that common?
 
What happened to the days when people were sane, and didn't want girls that fucked everything with legs?  =[

Oh before AIDS and HIV? The world of the 60's and 70's makes today's scene look like a fundamentalist church outing.



Prinsexx -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/14/2008 3:11:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

Seriously, when did this become a joke?


Nov 1, 2004 when Lois Griffin turned to Peter Griffin on Family Guy and said, "Tonight's safeword is banana."

[sm=mistress.gif]

Celeste

Morning coffee.....choking.
OMFG.That's why I've been so badly treated...I never used the banana word....used the banana but never used the word! Et voila a safer saner future! Thanks Celeste.
ed to even check on the spelling of the word: can't even spell it let alone say it.



KatyLied -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/14/2008 3:46:44 AM)

quote:

Is it impossible to keep your morals in tact and still be in this lifestyle?


Not everyone lives by your moral code.



Lynnxz -> RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? (4/14/2008 3:53:18 AM)

Play for me almost always does NOT include sex. I'm one of those hyper-paranoid people about Stds and such. 



Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875