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RE: Feminization - 4/14/2008 10:14:58 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

I noticed you highlighted the word "straight" yes most crossdressers are indeed straight, people incorrectly assume most are bisexual or gay. If I had to take a guess I would say that these men are into crossdressing and just don't put it into words. It's a visual so that the person viewing the profile will know exactly what these men are into without him trying to have to explain it. Because explaining it can be the most difficult thing there is for them.

Personally my male sub loves to crossdress because it makes him feel beautiful, in touch with his femme side and he looks damn sexy with his long legs in a pair of thigh hi's!

We both enjoy it and its so much fun to take him shopping with me. Its like having a macho man and a pretty sexy girlfriend in one package (though sadly he is missing the boobies and vagina, but his cock makes up for it

)

Just my 2 cents

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to dawntreader)

Post #: 21

RE: Feminization - 4/14/2008 10:20:39 AM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

It must satisfy something in both parties, for both to want to do it and isn't that what really matters?

Yes, i agree. But do you look for it in profile pictures?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

quote:

Do you find this attractive aside from its obvious association with humiliation?

I don't find anything we do associated with humiliation. I have much funner things I use for that. Feminization is not one of them.

MoGa

Thanks! Like i mentioned to fox above - perhaps i have "assumed" something in general that is erroneous

quote:

ORIGINAL: pup
The closeness Mistress mentions is like no other feeling, truly an intimate encounter which is highly erotic and almost intoxicating. I love everything about it, the closeness, the personal attention from Mistress, and even feeling the wave of beauty surging through me which i cannot feel unless Mistress puts me through her salon. ... I love and appreciate everything that Mistress does to turn me into her little girl whom She calls Brianna. When Mistress turns me into Brianna, i feel a release from the world of Brian and a new found sense of freedom in which i can be Mistress's little girl, to love and train to be a woman. It doesn't feel humiliating to me, it is sheer ecstasy. -pup

Thanks for sharing that pup - between you and fox, your personal experiences do give me fresh insight into the relationship aspect of cross-dressing. Perhaps what fox and you have is what so many others are looking for~

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to pupofMoGa)

Post #: 22

RE: Feminization - 4/14/2008 10:26:23 AM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

If I had to take a guess I would say that these men are into crossdressing and just don't put it into words. It's a visual so that the person viewing the profile will know exactly what these men are into without him trying to have to explain it. Because explaining it can be the most difficult thing there is for them.

Just my 2 cents

~Lashra

Thanks Lashra,

i appreciate your input The above info of your quote had not occured to me - to use pictures instead of trying to define with words. i think that is very valid.

Professionally, i am having to write a info about myself for a press release - i would rather submit pictures of what i do than put it to words...so i do think you might be on to something here. Thanks for this perspective~

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 23

RE: Feminization - 4/14/2008 10:27:43 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

I actually know TWO male Dominants in real life who crossdress. Both HIDE it because they are terrified that their slaves will discover their secret and it will destroy their dynamic. Its that old "macho" code working against them. In their words "If she finds out that I am a CD she will not see me as a Dominant man anymore, she will see me as a weak man in a dress."

To my way of thinking its not the clothes that make a Dominant man, but his ability to lead, think and take care of himself and his subs/slaves. It's very sad that these men have to go to such lengths to hide who they really are, particularly in a lifestyle where supposedly everyone is living out their lives the way that they want too.

As far as sub women crossdressing, most already do wear mens clothes(shoes) and can get away with it because its acceptable in society. They don't have to worry about the "Femme" code ruining their feminity because they wore a pair of guys jeans or tennis shoes.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to dawntreader)

Post #: 24

RE: Feminization - 4/14/2008 10:45:56 AM

Shewalksinbeauty

Posts: 19
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline

Story time! Lashra made me think of it

. I've been dating tesukyro for 5 months at this point, he is wonderful and I love him. He's very helpful and caring when it comes to my venture into uncharted dominant territory, which is wonderful. Anyway, I never found CD attractive really, and it still is a bit offputting. He loves it, but I'd never let him do it with me until recently. I am a very sensory person, specifically with visuals, and he has a very effeminate body.... there are faint curves and he's quite petite. Anyway, I found myself thinking of him like that, with the feminine qualities and realized that part of why I'm so attracted is his ability to appease both my desire for masculinity and femininity in a partner. We discussed it and about a month ago we had our first venture into a feminization scene. For me, it isn't the control so much as having a girl. So, shopping and being able to have a "girl"friend in my boyfriend are definitely bonuses. Plus, aspiring makeup artist... plus boyfriend who wears makeup equals lots of time to test things out!

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 25

RE: Feminization - 4/14/2008 10:59:19 AM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

Inregards to the personal examples many of you are giving...it also makes me wonder if part of it also has to do with the human touch.

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to Shewalksinbeauty)

Post #: 26

RE: Feminization - 4/14/2008 1:47:20 PM

SubJordanTyler

Posts: 268
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

but at the same time, the sincere crossdressers I've met have a femme persona. That femme persona is who they are offering up, not the self that goes to work every day like a regular guy. {apologies for the runon sentence}

This is exactly how it is for me. Alexis is my femme persona - not a guy in a dress - and that is who is being offered up to everyone when I'm en femme. She is totally different from the "regular" guy you see most days. But when I am her - I am her. There is very little (if any) "male" part out there when she's out. And I've been told she's a hottie, especially with those long, toned legs in stilettos!!

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 27

RE: Feminization - 4/14/2008 3:28:19 PM

ShaktiSama

Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader
i don't think i have ever seen a Male Dominant in women's clothing...

I have. Of course, he wasn't being a male dominant at the time. He was being a female dominant named Shannon. Shannon was an attractive slim blonde with many male admirers and tribute-submissives on line. Quite the webcam celebrity.

I've also photographed a man in a submissive female role, of course--Sabrina, who is currently represented in my profile pictures by a shot of her corsetted waist, was a showgirl in Vancouver. Quite the eye-opener when a person over six feet tall in stocking feet opens the door in high heels...

Both these men were self-feminizing (although Sabrina did want a little help with her make-up), so I can't offer any answers as to the dynamic between a femme domme who feminizes and her straight male subs. I just thought I would chime in about the variety that exists in the t-girl community!

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to dawntreader)

Post #: 28

RE: Feminization - 4/14/2008 3:28:25 PM

curiousub88

Posts: 16
Joined: 11/10/2007
Status: offline

My profile pic is a femme pic of me (well really just shaved chest and in pink pjs). I don't do it to show any kind of dom that i'm into it or anything. My main reason is that i want to show the picture off to someone. I just have these urges sometimes to femme up and pose hehe. And I'm not going to put a picture of me in pink pjs on facebook lol. I'm still very much in the closet, although certainly it tugs at my heart hearing the slumber party story (i think a lot about that scenario, and tanning at the beach). And of course, i have gotten my share of people giving me messages saying how cute they thought i looked :), and that is by far my favorite adjective. I don't think though that the picture is for dom's though, at least i don't. It seems to me that femdoms wait, rather than go after, submissives.

As far as humiliatiation goes, i don't think i could ever feel that way when dressed up. The only thing could be if i found a dom who pushed me outdoors dressed up when i'm not ready. But of course i would be thankful later for doing something i couldn't do.

(in reply to SubJordanTyler)

Post #: 29

RE: Feminization - 4/14/2008 3:42:47 PM

Damagoddess

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/11/2008
Status: offline

I personally am turned off by CD or forced feminization. I differentiate this from being legitimately transgendered. The reason I find it to be such a turn off is because to me THERE IS NO HUMILIATION in being female, or feminine, even for a male. I understand that the bounds of our society confine men and women to a very specified role, and it is very difficult to break free from that. Many people with this fetish falsely believe that CD breaks them free from gender stereotypes, but it is my belief that it in fact reinforces them. Many CD are specifically into outfits and styles that are stereotypes of a submissive female and this makes them feel like a "sissy". I personally don't see how CD as a fetish is really any different from those select drag queens who dress as women for performance value and walk aorund calling them fish behind their backs. Mocking is not flattery. As a woman, I find that less liberating than being tied to a water tower naked in Memphis at noon during a men's rights rally for heterosexual supremacy. No thanks. Female/feminine =/= humiliating, sissy, or powerless.
If it's something you want to do, great. But I don't like to listen to bs about the reasons. If the words liberated, gender roles, or respect come into it, I will likely be unkind. Admit you do it because it gets your c**k hard. Or because you really like shiny shoes. But don't feed me a line about society.

(in reply to SubJordanTyler)

Post #: 30

RE: Feminization - 4/14/2008 3:43:18 PM

bobipanti

Posts: 87
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline

If one notices in my profile I am in female attire. Dressing as a woman brings out the femininity in my soul. I believe that I am a much better woman than a man. I do enjoy the female form and worship the aura of a sultana. Trying to feminize myself is not an act of humiliation, but an act of fulfillment that makes life seem better and gives me a sense of accomplishment. I am submissive and enjoy doing for others. Female clothes help my attitude and outlook.

(in reply to dawntreader)

Post #: 31

RE: Feminization - 4/14/2008 3:53:25 PM

Damagoddess

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/11/2008
Status: offline

Now, see, those aren't the wrong reasons. I am just sick of hearing about this as a fetish that women should find liberating.

(in reply to bobipanti)

Post #: 32

RE: Feminization - 4/14/2008 4:10:03 PM

curiousub88

Posts: 16
Joined: 11/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Damagoddess

I personally am turned off by CD or forced feminization. I differentiate this from being legitimately transgendered. The reason I find it to be such a turn off is because to me THERE IS NO HUMILIATION in being female, or feminine, even for a male. I understand that the bounds of our society confine men and women to a very specified role, and it is very difficult to break free from that. Many people with this fetish falsely believe that CD breaks them free from gender stereotypes, but it is my belief that it in fact reinforces them. Many CD are specifically into outfits and styles that are stereotypes of a submissive female and this makes them feel like a "sissy". I personally don't see how CD as a fetish is really any different from those select drag queens who dress as women for performance value and walk aorund calling them fish behind their backs. Mocking is not flattery. As a woman, I find that less liberating than being tied to a water tower naked in Memphis at noon during a men's rights rally for heterosexual supremacy. No thanks. Female/feminine =/= humiliating, sissy, or powerless.
If it's something you want to do, great. But I don't like to listen to bs about the reasons. If the words liberated, gender roles, or respect come into it, I will likely be unkind. Admit you do it because it gets your c**k hard. Or because you really like shiny shoes. But don't feed me a line about society.

I like what you said, its quite true. We want to break out of our gender role but enforce it by wearing what is expected of another gender role. I guess its just my own physical way of letting out my emotions (like how smiling can make you happy). I enjoy the softness and the colors, and well everything :). Nevertheless though i am tired of my gender role. I don't want to be rugged or masculine and have so much hair on my body. Even if i am just going into another gender role, i am still getting out of my own, no?

I don't want to start an argument or anything, but in some ways i feel CDing can be liberating for women. I dress up because i envy women. I'm envious of their beauty and curves, and their wonderful variety of style, and most importantly, the ability to give life. Maybe liberating is too strong of a word, but you get my point. As well, it isn't a fetish for all. Quite the opposite, i rarely get aroused when dressed. Of course wanting to be called a sissy when dressed up...yeah i can see why you wouldn't find that liberating.

(in reply to Damagoddess)

Post #: 33

RE: Feminization - 4/14/2008 4:14:47 PM

missfrillypants

Posts: 124
Joined: 4/27/2007
Status: offline

i'm aware that i'm not a domme, so i was just going to quietly read this and go away, but... then i saw what lashra said about knowing some doms who are into crossdressing and are afraid it would destroy the dynamic...

i'm a sub, and there's something that's always fascinated me about cross dressers of either sex... i had a crush on someone who was trans male awhile back and when i see guys in dresses at cons or other things or trans girls i always kind of smile. i don't mean any disrespect about it (to anyone who is one) i just find something about the whole thing cool and i wouldn't think less of a dom who wanted to be a domme sometimes.

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 34

RE: Feminization - 4/14/2008 6:05:11 PM

Shawn1066

Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Damagoddess

I personally am turned off by CD or forced feminization. I differentiate this from being legitimately transgendered. The reason I find it to be such a turn off is because to me THERE IS NO HUMILIATION in being female, or feminine, even for a male.

I enjoy crossdressing occasionally for my Owner. It's not forced, and I'm certainly not transgendered. I don't find humiliation in it at all. I find a different kind of beauty in it. I can be masculine and pleasing to my Owner, and I can be feminine and pleasing to my Owner as well. There are times when one suits me moreso than the other.

However, I don't find dressing up necessary for exploring that side of my psyche at all. It's all in how one uses his mind. I can, at times, be a very feminine soul. I can, perhaps less often actually, be a rather masculine soul. I don't enjoy being limited by either boundry.

Of course, I do have to agree with you... As a feminist, sometimes I do get quite a bit squicked out by what forced femme tends to imply...which is party why I wouldn't enjoy partaking in it. However, I think it may just be me looking at it too deeply.

DV's Fox

< Message edited by Shawn1066 -- 4/14/2008 6:08:27 PM >

(in reply to Damagoddess)

Post #: 35

RE: Feminization - 4/14/2008 6:25:27 PM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Damagoddess
If it's something you want to do, great. But I don't like to listen to bs about the reasons. If the words liberated, gender roles, or respect come into it, I will likely be unkind.

There are multiple reasons that men engage in crossdressing and different men do it for different combinations of reasons. Respect and gender roles are words that belong in legitimate reasons to crossdress. Personally, I have not heard the liberates women reason. I expect it is along the lines of saying that one reason to crossdress is due to admiration for the feminine appearance and not for looking down upon it.

A reason given by one man might not apply to another. One man might crossdress because he finds it humiliating, another might crossdress because he admires the feminine appearance and its associated sensual power, and a third might find appeal in each reason. To say that it is wrong for a man to say it is out of admiration when he sees it as humiliating is bringing the motivation of the first man onto the second man.

Also, to see crossdressing as humiliating is not necessarily misogynistic--it does not mean the man inherently thinks it is humiliating to be a woman. I think this statement is more a reflection of society and how much of society views a man crossdressed. I expect you would have felt uncomfortable if a relative or family member would have attended your high school graduation crossdressed. I expect your discomfort would not be because you see the feminine appearance to be humiliating but out of recognition for how society in general views a man dressed as such.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 4/14/2008 6:49:51 PM >

(in reply to Damagoddess)

Post #: 36

RE: Feminization - 4/14/2008 8:47:24 PM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

WOW!!!
Awesome replies while i was gone! Thankyou to all who responded....this has been very insightful and certainly has helped me to understand some things i knew nothing about

gratefully,
j

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to undergroundsea)

Post #: 37

RE: Feminization - 4/14/2008 9:57:09 PM

MzHard

Posts: 30
Joined: 2/19/2004
Status: offline

Ahhh nothing like a beared fat guy in a lacy rayon slip...skipping in his maryjanes
to make a heart go thump

(in reply to MissDs)

Post #: 38

RE: Feminization - 4/14/2008 9:59:27 PM

LadyIce

Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzHard

Ahhh nothing like a beared fat guy in a lacy rayon slip...skipping in his maryjanes
to make a heart go thump

I agree, nothing hotter.

(in reply to MzHard)

Post #: 39

RE: Feminization - 4/15/2008 4:14:00 AM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

Ladies,
i am not sure i could agree with THAT but i certainly get my motor running brushing long hair on a man....mmmm

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to LadyIce)

Post #: 40

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