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RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? - 4/14/2008 5:18:54 PM   
GentleMistress5


Posts: 17
Joined: 3/28/2008
Status: offline 		*whispering so not to intrude further on the thread*  Thanks, goodpet!

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? - 4/14/2008 5:27:15 PM   
hopelessfool


Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I send out a message to who ever catches my intrest or amuses me in some way shape or form. I seek always friends first, anything more gets you in trouble. Think of it, (OH its a tax time analogy)
So January.. you get your w2... and you file it away till you get your tax forms to sit down and do them.
Its now April such and such and your going to do your taxes and... OH... CRAP you cant find your w2... You search and search and search and search. Tear the house, office, everything apart.. and nothing.  So you sit down on the couch your head in your hands going what am I going to do you relax watch tv for about an hour and O_O THERE it is. Right in front of you taped to the printer..

Moral, when you look, you can Never find it. When you stop looking it always pops up right in front of your face...

If you have a problem with multiple messages just send out messages when you find someone interesting of those youve been chatting with to say look, this can only be friends I am working on building a relationship with someone I trust.

Just my two cents.


_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? - 4/14/2008 7:18:55 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		Don't get so wound up in doing in one true way,  you may be missing opportunities from those who have contacted you first, get to know several as friends and see where things lead,  my more recent involvements are now with doms that I have started out with as pnline  friends,  so be the time we finally ended up meeting we had anywhere from 5 to 7 months of friendship  but even once you meet you may still come to realize your not compatible as a couple but often the friendship can still remain.

And using profile alone to screen a master to serve and commit to can prove very misleading , I have seen  some profiles that were simply copies of word for word views that were expressed by another dom on D/s or M/s relationships here on collarchat that I highly respect , if I had not known the original author  I might really  be impressed by what I read, knowing that the dom simply stole the words  and used as his profile as his personal views does not leave me with much respect for him as a result I want to get to know a whole lot more about the person first before ever telling them that I would wish to submit to them to see if what the say in their profile represents their actual views


_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? - 4/14/2008 7:37:27 PM   
Daddyslilpookie


Posts: 498
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: OC, California
Status: offline 		To the Op just take your time and don't rush things when you do meet. Do get to know each other and find out if they are right for you. I wish you the best of luck and you should find your Master soon enough

_____________________________

Princess Andie


"A Woman Loves Only Her Master"

(in reply to Maya2001)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? - 9/28/2008 10:45:53 AM   
rbprat


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/28/2008
Status: offline 		I would like to dicuss some things with for we maybe a good pair. I am looking for the one and only Mistress I so badly need.

(in reply to GentleMistress5)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? - 9/28/2008 12:47:17 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Well there ya go.  Looks like the wait is five months.


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to rbprat)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? - 9/28/2008 9:23:49 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		You beat me to it, Cali 

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? - 9/29/2008 5:24:03 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I don't like opening emails to be expressions of forever. Honestly, if someone I never met wrote me saying he was panting at the idea of serving me, I'd run the other way.

Write people and look to make friends. Write about something nonBDSM or sexual that they wrote in their profile, their journal or their posts. Be friends first and allow them to decide if they want you in a different way.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? - 9/29/2008 5:34:08 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I was going to say essentially what DesFIP did. If on an initial email you sound like you are ready to move to me, settle in and start a family... you are not going to get a response. No Dom wants instant commitment before you have even heard back from them. Why, simple, becasue your commitment isnt to THEM it is to their POSITION. You would be just as commited to any D that got the message, and they know it.
Rather than trying to contact a dominant and serve them, why not look at it as contacting a person and getting to know them. Not all contacts turn into relationships that work in the D/s sense, but some turn into very useful and fulfilling friendships as well.
Keep in mind how you would feel getting a message from someone on the other end of the whip that sounded as if they knew nothing about you, but didnt really need to to iclude you in their life. They could place anyone there, and the fit would be the same because the requirements are minimal and the interest level in the person filling them is low. Are you going to jump at that oppertunity, where youd be a fill in the blank slave?

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? - 9/29/2008 6:15:57 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		first of all - calm down ...take a couple of breaths and relax.

i got the impression after reading your op you're in a rush to nab that lucky dominant and obtain the collar. your impatience is getting the best of you - slow down. it's a fierce competition out there garnering their attention. start with one or two instead of a slate of many. if they don't answer right away, don't take it as a bad sign either. they're probably busy with private lives ie work, hobbies, etc. lastly make friends instead of seeking an instant relationship.

good luck

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to iwillobeysir)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? - 9/29/2008 7:01:09 AM   
Subductrssss


Posts: 97
Joined: 9/28/2008
Status: offline 		I very rarely post hellos to Dominats, not because I think that "They" must come to me, but more  in the submissive vein of it is not my place to send mail first (I know weird huh? LOL) but if I were to do so, it would be along the throw as many out there as I like and then see who responds back and take it from there.
 
As many have said, until a bond is established and you and He/She are moving forward, you have no monogamous relationship and do not owe any your singular loyalty.
 
Good luck to us both I say ((((((((((Huggles))))))))))))

_____________________________

Subductrssss

The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you but in what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says but rather to what he does not say.
Kahlil Gibran

(in reply to iwillobeysir)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? - 9/29/2008 7:46:44 AM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		And here I was thinking that women were good at multitasking... 

(in reply to iwillobeysir)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? - 9/29/2008 8:56:57 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		You guys are killing me.      Does someone want to round up the OP and find out if they're still waiting??


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to antipode)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? - 9/29/2008 11:00:01 AM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		When I do, I purposefully message only one Dom at a time, so that I don't get into a situation of having asked one only to later tell him that I've started to correspond with someone else.

i used to do this too.  it felt wrong to be in contact with half a dozen guys at once.  im sure i prolly missed out on a few decent possibilities in the process.
 
fact is:  of the ones you meet online only a small proportion of them will you meet in real time.  then you come up against the 'chemistry goblin' who thinks its freakin' funny to get you all excited about a guy only to find he has the pesonal hygiene of a dung beetle or he's 20 years older than his pic or .... well the list is inexhaustible.  (and yes i know D's have the same probs).

it feels like your knowingly lining them up and working through a list of 'Yes' 'No' and 'Hell No' options.  well yup, it is that pragmatic.

 

_____________________________

even doves have pride (Prince)

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? - 9/29/2008 7:56:31 PM   
subeos


Posts: 140
Joined: 5/23/2008
Status: offline 		Personally, I think for me there is a lot of fun in seeing who will respond or not. I do not see it as a game, but I do not sweat it either. Have patience, be calm get to know others on here. I desire a Dom, but I also know I am not going to get it " right now."
Just make it more of an adventure with serious implications. But don't fuss over it.

slave eos

~To Thine Own Self Be True~

(in reply to lally3)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? - 9/29/2008 9:15:58 PM   
HalfShyHalfWild


Posts: 150
Joined: 2/11/2008
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

My advice is to stop looking for a dominant and start forming relationships with many people.
 
the.dark.


OP, I hope you listen to this advice. I was pretty much the same as you though I didn't wait till they responded but would only talk with just one at a time. Trust me, don't do that lol.

Wish I had asked this 3 years ago and had the the.dark giving me this advice! You're way ahead of some of us now! 

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? - 9/29/2008 9:25:01 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		The thread is 5 months old, HSHW. If the OP didn't take Dark's advice then, he prolly won't come back to do so now, either. 

< Message edited by WyldHrt -- 9/29/2008 9:26:56 PM >

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to HalfShyHalfWild)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? - 9/29/2008 9:28:36 PM   
HalfShyHalfWild


Posts: 150
Joined: 2/11/2008
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

The thread is 5 months old, HSHW. If the OP didn't take Dark's advice then, he prolly won't come back to do so now, either. 


DOH!!! I didn't look at the beginning time frame of it. I swear I didn't revive it though lol!

Was on top when I came. Well anyways, I hope they did. I wish people would come back and update sometimes

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? - 9/30/2008 8:57:02 AM   
lilpetuk


Posts: 37
Joined: 9/10/2008
Status: offline 		some wonderful advice from everyone, as a sub even if i don't post a specific question there always appears to be a similar one asked anyway on here.

To the op...i'm waiting for my nilla ice-cream to go away too .. good luck in all you seek

(in reply to HalfShyHalfWild)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Subs searching for a Dom: How long do you wait? - 9/30/2008 1:55:29 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		~FR~

You wait for as long as it takes. You live, have experiences and one day you'll find the right match for you. But unless you're willing to try out different people you'll never know the right one when you meet him.

I'm 34 and i'm i met my current Master on here in October 2007, but we didn't actually start talking seriously till January 2008.

My Dom before that I met on here in 2006.

There is no set time schedule, life happens when it happens you rarely can plan for it. I had no intention of getting involved with anyone when i met Allen, obviously the cosmos had other ideas hehe. Oh well, worked out for me.


_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 40
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