hopelesslyInvo
Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa
quote:
the problem i have with that is sometimes i get to be a bit annoying after i do a bit of learning on my own, and i start acting like i have loads of experience by questioning someone's every move and double checking and second guessing to make sure they know certain things, if they seem insulted by my quips i'll assume they don't want me questioning their experience for a reason; yet if they just try to settle my uneasiness i'll assume they think i'm just worrying too much.
I wouldn't think you were questioning my experience, I would wonder if you were questioning what I am capable of doing, or not doing. There is nothing wrong if a sub wants to check me out, but I would rather give hiim a reference and be done with it. But then again, I do disclose what I know, but only if asked. Most subs don't even bother asking if I had done this or that before. I find that very scary. Thanks for responding.
experience holds some capability issues i guess, but i mean mostly in the sense of if it was something like... electric, and paranoia starts to rise a little, i might ask something like "you're not going above the waist are you?", could be that they just wanted to see me sweat things out by making me wonder, but i'm definitely going to wonder~ i'd be more the type to inquire "are you going to try and force something" rather than "do you think you'll even be able to do it". i wouldn't just burst out with a "do you know what you're doing". i really... and perhaps this isn't a smart point of mine, worry less about safety and more about how i'll feel about things, that might be because there's nearly a safe way to do anything, and i wouldn't quickly fall into something i don't think i'm capable of. sometimes i think people simply worry too much, or think that i'm the one who isn't capable, and i love when people can just tuck that worry away for a bit. there are occasions that abandoning concerns of safety in some degree can really enhance things, while still keeping proper care in check of course, or rather a mild amount of neglect without losing the amount of concern. you know... a situation where it's not exactly "healthy" but not really a "health concern", something that should end up causing little to no ill effect in the end~ so much of that goes hand in hand with many "bdsm things" in the first place, or at least gives the illusion of it. some of it's just pushing such as "you can go a bit longer" or "it's not going to kill you", but i don't mean to sound unrealistic in my approach, or unconcerned with safety overall.
i think most people that try to educate themselves seem to have a good idea between what is careless and what is overboard, which is why i try to educate myself as well, but surprises can be fun~ =p
experience is something i'm not really too concerned to hear about because "how do you sort out the liars"? some people try and avoid lying, or even in telling the truth they justify themselves by their wording, while not really telling you anything concrete.
 have you ever done this before?
 well i'm definitely not an old hand at this, but i'm no newbie.
you know what you're doing right?
of course, did you think this was my first time or something?
have you had experience with this before?
oh?! best believe i got experience~
do you do this a lot?
of course not, only with certain people.
i think it's really all centered around trust, and i try to give the benifit of the doubt, but as much as i might take things with a grain of salt, i wouldn't quickly assume they're lying or not qualified for something. afterall, few things bother me as much as when people call me a liar, or discredit my own experiences. i worry though with the majority of people, if i make it sound like i'm questioning or concerned with things, it'll make them worry about what is the "right thing" to say, whether it's by embelishing or downplaying the truth. the best thing i can think to do is just encourage people to be open, and not let "who they tell" be an influence to "what they tell". some people though, they seem to lie to you so they can lie to themselves, and they need you to buy into it before they can.
trust and salt are my words for the day~
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RE: Your Experience & Disclosing It.. - 
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