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if you are talking on here to a Dom for a few times - 4/15/2008 10:58:27 PM

winterlight

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is he out of bounds to tell you that you have until such and such a day to get your picture on here?

thanks

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RE: if you are talking on here to a Dom for a few times - 4/16/2008 12:01:40 AM

Stephann

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From: Portland, OR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

is he out of bounds to tell you that you have until such and such a day to get your picture on here?

thanks

Depends on how long you want to talk to him.

Me: Slave, it's been three days of chatting, and I don't know what you look like. You have three days to send a photo.
girl: I'm sorry, I won't do it, I'm not comfortable.
Me: That's fine, good luck with your search.

You'll do what you need to do, to feel good. Someone compatible, will feel the same way. Someone who makes demands beyond the scope of your desire to serve, isn't a horrible person; they're just not a great match for you.

Stephan

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RE: if you are talking on here to a Dom for a few times - 4/16/2008 12:12:52 AM

RCdc

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Unless you are in a relationship, it isn't appropriate to demand anything, from my POV. I can understand a person wishing to see a photograph of a person who they were having a regular conversation with - but as you have stated that they want you to put it in your profile and not send it, that would indicate an attempt to have some sort of authority. You can ask him - in fact I would recommend you do and see exactly why he wants this. But unless he owned you, I would not find his specific request acceptable.

the.dark.

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RE: if you are talking on here to a Dom for a few times - 4/16/2008 2:47:54 AM

FatDomDaddy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

is he out of bounds to tell you that you have until such and such a day to get your picture on here?

thanks

With due respect...

Who are you to step on his/her kink? Also I noticed you said Dom and not Domme, is there different criteria for each?

Some people get off on being rude and obnoxious and in turn attract those who wish to be humiliated and forced. Sure they cast a big net and can be annoying but is that not what the ignore button is for? Also, there are many people here who are looking to be pushed from their comfort zones and such an order may then appeal to them.

With you post statement, you would have hard corps bottoms, those curious about humiliation and shame or even people just playing out an on-line fantasy denied because of what your own personal likes, dislikes and feelings.

You have every right to control your own personal "bounds". You have no right, (with in the context of safe, sane and consensual and within the terms of the TOS of this site which ask us to help the police illegal activity) to decide those "bounds" for others.

< Message edited by FatDomDaddy -- 4/16/2008 2:49:42 AM >

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RE: if you are talking on here to a Dom for a few times - 4/16/2008 2:56:26 AM

camille65

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Well said from a different angle FDD.
I can understand wanting to see what person X looks like after some conversations, but not a demand to alter ones own profile. To me that takes it too far and gives too much control to a stranger that I may not even like in the end.

If it bothers you that someone is being demanding past your comfort level then tell him. If it continues then do that old block n delete thing.

Demands online are (IMO) absolutely nothing to fret over, nothing to worry about. Especially if it is someone you hardly know.

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RE: if you are talking on here to a Dom for a few times - 4/16/2008 3:17:24 AM

soul2share

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Having been in similar conversations with others, my feeling is NO, you are not out of line. Until you embark on a relationship of any kind, the way I see it is that you are just two people, getting to know each other, and setting the boundaries for said relationship. Making "demands" after talking to someone a few times shows a decided lack of respect toward the other party.

Contrary to popular belief, folks in the lifestyle are just the same as folks that are vanilla when it comes to finding our other half. The rules aren't any different, the only difference is the dynamic involved. Use your common sense here, if you wouldn't be comfortable doing anything in a vanilla setting, you wouldn't do what was asked, right? Why do some think the "rules" are different for BDSM? I have never had a problem telling someone that what they are asking is not going to happen, and I usually end up telling them "later, dude.....I'm outta here!" And that goes for every part of my life.

meh...that's just my .05.....everyone has their opinions and ideas.....just follow your guts, and don't get swept up in sub frenzy......ultimately, you are the only one who knows what's right for you.

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RE: if you are talking on here to a Dom for a few times - 4/16/2008 3:22:11 AM

Level

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quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

is he out of bounds to tell you that you have until such and such a day to get your picture on here?

thanks

What do you think?

Is he a blowhard? A jackass? The most dominant man you ever met and makes you wet all the way down to your socks?

Sounds like a moron, to me.

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RE: if you are talking on here to a Dom for a few times - 4/16/2008 3:37:18 AM

FatDomDaddy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: soul2share

Contrary to popular belief, folks in the lifestyle are just the same as folks that are vanilla when it comes to finding our other half. The rules aren't any different, the only difference is the dynamic involved.

Sorry but just not true.

Many are seeking specific and exact criteria and the rules can be very different. ABs, cuckholds, masocist bottoms, closeted folks and many more have unique and
differing agendas then those who live outside the society.

And what of those who are in the lifestyle solely for their own selfish and headonistic pleasures??? Are you saying they should be denied by the community or just you? Sorry but this is their home too.

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RE: if you are talking on here to a Dom for a few times - 4/16/2008 4:08:24 AM

soul2share

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FDD,

You didn't get my point at all.....you don't think that vanilla people aren't looking for "specific and exact criteria" either?

The point I'm trying to make is based on the OP.....that is, without reading anything more into it as you seem to have done. And that's not a flame, so put down the extinguisher. I have never made any kind of statement that leads to your remark of denying anyone a home, either here or elsewhere. Take a look at any of my posts, should you care to call me out on that.

Again, maybe it's just MY opinion, or how I choose to live the lifestyle, but I see little difference between someone vanilla looking for a relationship, and those of us that are looking for what we want in a relationship. I won't do anything to compromise my morals or standards while looking for a dom now, anymore than I would have done so in my vanilla relationships. She doesn't appear comfortable in meeting this dom's demand, and was just looking to see if what she felt had been experienced by anyone else. That is what I based my response on. Period.

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RE: if you are talking on here to a Dom for a few times - 4/16/2008 4:16:53 AM

Lynnxz

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From: Atlanta
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A general, clothed, nondescript picture? I don't see a problem with giving it out.. but no one gets naked pix!

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RE: if you are talking on here to a Dom for a few times - 4/16/2008 4:30:22 AM

soul2share

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I don't post a pic because of what I do, and don't really want everyone at work knowing anything about my personal life...the two are seperate from each other.

I would also balk at anyone who gave me the "instruction" to post a pic on my profile by a certain time. To me, talking a "few times" reads three times......maybe four, and that does not a relationship make. I know at that point, as far as my experience goes, we're still feeling each other out, setting boundaries, getting to know each other. Way too soon for someone to already be giving me orders!

Have to agree with Level......he sounds like a moron!

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RE: if you are talking on here to a Dom for a few times - 4/16/2008 4:43:28 AM

colouredin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

You'll do what you need to do, to feel good. Someone compatible, will feel the same way. Someone who makes demands beyond the scope of your desire to serve, isn't a horrible person; they're just not a great match for you.

gotta agree with Stephann on this, people do things a certain way, if it doesnt match what you want then oh well next. In a D/s sense no he doesnt have a right as a Dom to ORDER you to do it, but course he has a right to ask.

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RE: if you are talking on here to a Dom for a few times - 4/16/2008 4:46:28 AM

blissy

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im kinda on the fence with this, i mean im more than happy to show anyone a pic of me (as long as they dont mind the fact that ive got 2 heads & eight eyes) - but seriously, unless there is a reason you dont want Anyone seeing your pic why is there a problem? (not nekkie pics tho) lol

as for saying 'you have til such a day' well if thats the way the 'relationship' is starting out and you arent liking how you are spoken to...are you sure you want to progress with it????

< Message edited by blissy -- 4/16/2008 4:48:02 AM >

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RE: if you are talking on here to a Dom for a few times - 4/16/2008 4:58:42 AM

bondagedgirl

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Soul2Share, I totally agree with all what you have said, well said

I have had similar situations to the issue we are talking about, doms demanding I put pics up, issue my e-mail addy to them, use my cam, burn all my underwear lol Jez the list is endless within the first few mails exchanges. Now if you are in an established relationship within S.S.C limits then I understand boundary pushing is part of the setup but not within a few exchanges of mail as in my case. Some will say 'oh we have to push your boundaries to see how far we can go...' lol and on it goes.

Commonsense needs to prevail, use your gut instinct to suss out the players, chancers and hopefully the real, the genuine will come through. I know they are out there... arnt they

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RE: if you are talking on here to a Dom for a few times - 4/16/2008 8:21:22 AM

DesFIP

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Unless you've agreed to submit to him, it's rude of him to order you about. Many people don't want their face pics on sex sites where everyone including their boss and their grandfather can see them.

I actually find that the doms that approach you as ordinary people are the best. The ones demanding you call them MasterLordUberDom are the ones not worth talking to. The ones who sign their emails with their real names, Jim, Pete, Joe, are the ones who aren't fantasy based. That's important because you cannot have a successful long term relationship when it's based on fantasy. If he thinks that he can order you to wear 6" high heels all the time, including in the shower, and at a soccer game, he's out of line. If he thinks ordering you to lose 35 pounds in two weeks is realistic, it's not.

Anytime you get ordered to do something instead of asked, by someone you haven't even decided is worth wasting 20 minutes and the cost of a cup of coffe on, you're better off ending it immediately. My rule of thumb.

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RE: if you are talking on here to a Dom for a few times - 4/16/2008 8:25:22 AM

KatyLied

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quote:

is he out of bounds to tell you that you have until such and such a day to get your picture on here?

He's not out of bounds. He can demand anything he wants. That doesn't mean you have to go along with it.

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RE: if you are talking on here to a Dom for a few times - 4/16/2008 8:59:45 AM

LikaLady

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I'm inclined to agree with Katy. And he may just be making this demand to see how easily you will bend to him. It can be a preliminary "feeling out" to so how fast you will jump. If thats a problem but you like him, talk to him about it. If he's not worth it in your eyes, move on. Simple.

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RE: if you are talking on here to a Dom for a few times - 4/16/2008 9:12:27 AM

mhawk

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well to me it just depends on the people.some do and some don't.

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RE: if you are talking on here to a Dom for a few times - 4/16/2008 9:18:48 AM

faerytattoodgirl

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yes...and if i was you i would just dl some hot girl off a playboy site and post it for him...that is what he's hoping to see in the first place.

if he is so desparate to see your picture then he really isnt interested in you.
not everyone posts their picture regardless of the situation because they require to keep it discrete.

as many on here dont ever plan to meet anyone and are just here for entertainment.

you have the right to hide your identity until you are absolutely sure after many phone calls that you want to meet them. you may not even need to post your pic and can describe yourself prior to the meeting.

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RE: if you are talking on here to a Dom for a few times - 4/16/2008 9:23:28 AM

popeye1250

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

is he out of bounds to tell you that you have until such and such a day to get your picture on here?

thanks

Depends on how long you want to talk to him.

Me: Slave, it's been three days of chatting, and I don't know what you look like. You have three days to send a photo.
girl: I'm sorry, I won't do it, I'm not comfortable.
Me: That's fine, good luck with your search.

You'll do what you need to do, to feel good. Someone compatible, will feel the same way. Someone who makes demands beyond the scope of your desire to serve, isn't a horrible person; they're just not a great match for you.

Stephan

I have my pictures in my profile so if someone wants to talk to me I don't think it's too much of a burden to send along some photos.
Too many trannies and crossdressers out there "posing" as women!
I've had hours of my time wasted by them for what? They get some type of "kick" from leading men on?
That's sick!
It's also against TOS.
I'm exactly who and what I say I am.
I have no problem sending photos, e-mails then *quickly* moving to phone calls to each verify who we are!
A photo sent through e-mail shouldn't be a problem.
If it is I'd be suspicious that the person is not who or what they say they are.

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