Reality vrs Roleplay

Reality vrs Roleplay (Full Version)

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SirSix72 -> Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 12:00:29 PM)
I sit here on my newly patented flame proof soapbox thinking about alot of threads posted here on the message boards. The threads that most amazed me were the ones that spoke of phoneys and wanna be's. I was doing some self-reflection on past comments that I either made or many of you have made. The question in my mind still remains on this subject are as follows.........We call others fake,phoney or wannabe's...roles players and generally those that interpet things a little more differently then we do tend to catch flak from others like ourselves as being players............I was thinking that maybe alot of other people including myself at times needs to look at the reality of our situation and think if we are capable of giving this our all in the terms that we tend to classify ourselves such as Dom/Master/sub/slave.........I see alot of profiles that say alot of things.......the thing I almost never see is the honesty of the situation in the fact is the only time they are capable of submitting/Mastering is only in or during a scene or if the individual is capable of doing this as a lifestyle......honesty is a virtue among ourselves and others........ im off the soapbox again, Master Six

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 12:33:28 PM)
It's always best to recall these old wise words.. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. I think you make a good point. We could all benefit from taking the time we spend judging others and working on our own weaknesses instead. Of course, this goes for the world in general, and not just the internet community. Cin PS: Love the flame-proof soapbox, I may borrow it sometime, if I may?

JustaTop -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 12:46:44 PM)
One person's reality is another's fantasy. It's all highly subjective. So perhaps the real question might be,"How much work are you willing to invest to make that fantasy become a REALITY?" Make it real,instead of a merely hot air pipe dream-and I'll take it more seriously.[;)]

SirSix72 -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 12:58:14 PM)
You took the words right out of my mouth my friend.......this does take work for the fantasy to become as reality........I sometime wonder about those individuals if they think about putiing in the work or just simply looking for an instant gratification we are all so guilty of wanting sometimes........still though being truthfull with yoursefl and others is the key.......if ya wanna play then by all means play but if you play at living where does that leave the rest of us that actuall make a lifestyle out of this......I know for me it might be a little different looking at those that cant look past wanting gratification only when in play mode and the need to be what you are............. im off the soapbox again........ MAster Six P.S. I leave this flame proof soap box for anyone to stand upon if ya feel the need to be heard about whats real and what isnt

JustaTop -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 1:02:48 PM)
Yanno that thing again,is subjective reality. I tend to get pissy when someone tells me my reality is second or third rate too. It hurts my feelings. So maybe somone just likes to role play-others take it more seriously. The only time I'm going to get bent about it, is if they think they can impose their reality on mine. (Like republicans seem to be trying right now-bastards)[;)] Ootherwise,should I really use the energy,so much better spent on useful things,in CARING?

thetammyjo -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 1:09:23 PM)
The profiles here ask for a title or a role. When I identify myself as just me, I say that I'm a dominant sadist (in terms of kink, I'm a lot more than my sexuality). But I am only one boy's mistress because I see that term as a title in a relationship -- no relationship, I'm not a mistress. It personally makes me wonder when charges of "wannabes" and "fake" are brought out how much of that charge is a reflection of a the accuser's lack of self awareness and self-esteem. I don't see how my life is affected by others' "non-real status" (whatever the heck that means.

SirSix72 -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 1:11:39 PM)
I can understand where you are coming from on someone else forcing thier reality on yours.............the point of the matter remains that there are alot of individulas out there that have spent thier time and energy wastefully I might add on someone whom really dosent know what they want out of this,,,,,the point im trying to get across is honesty with yourself and others is the key to getting some where in any lifestyle..............why waste your time trying to do something you cant undertake or telling someone you can then run from what you were trying to accomplish.....like I see alot of the time posted in the message boards about ill walk if ya do this to me or if ya dont do this then ill let you go.....lmao......how much thought do people actually give this before they are running head first into a collar or having someone ready to leap into the handy dandy velcro collar.....someone else on the boards really tickled me about saying this, whom ever it was thanks for the mental picture I got from this one MAster Six

caitlyn -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 1:12:19 PM)
I'm not really an authority on any of this. I'm only a "submissive" on COLLARME, because the website didn't have a selection for "sub-curious." [;)] But, it stands to reason that within the lifestyle there will be all sorts of people on all sorts of different levels. New people will logically not be as far along as others. They may look like players or gamers or whatever ... but they may just be new. In the final analysis, you wouldn't expect even the brightest freshman engineering student, to be able to build the space shuttle.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 1:18:04 PM)
I have been guilty of referring to people as wannabes----though not on public lists. :) I save that for guys who somehow can't even gather up the balls to meet me for a coffee in a public place. Really, my favorite throwaway insult is TIME WASTER. I am very clear about who and what I am, and what I like. I am happy to interact with others of like interest, and to help folks out with SE Michigan scene resources. The problem arises when folks misrepresent themselves. Married guys, men who want to crossdress, toilet players......... none of them are candidates for my attention. Luckily, I am brilliant with both BLOCK and DELETE. :)Francine

JustaTop -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 2:02:56 PM)
I've had relationships with people I later considered to be "time wasters",or even nutcases.But that's only one side of the story, isn't it? I still learned something from it all. And I have been as guilty of "settling for fun,that later became a pain in the ass(and not the good kind)" as well. You can't expect everyone to know everything. I certainly never claim to-my experience will have to remain limited-because the universal approach would mean I was god or something right? And I'd have MUCH better things to do with my time than hanging out on a board for pervs,eh?[;)]

LadiesBladewing -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 2:24:42 PM)
We usually lose the time-wasters in the coffee-meetings or lunch get-togethers before we bring them home. We usually catch most of the ones who really aren't a fit at all then, and dismiss them, or they choose not to continue to participate. Every so often we have someone who insists that he or she is interested in at least training with us for a while, even if we think they're not a good fit for the household, but amazingly, most of these never make it to the first actually -training session-. I guess that during the "cooling off" period that we require (at least 48 hours) they decide that we really -are- going to be as demanding as we say we are chuckles. Anyone who actually makes it to our house improves our collective. We learn something from all of them, as they are learning from us (even if the lesson is a couple more tips of what to look for when someone is out to shaft us). Some of them stay, and are a good fit for an extended time. Some go through part or all of their trial period and then we mutually decide that it's time for a different challenge elsewhere. On occasion we have some who say all the right things, until they get inside, and then we have a few days of all heck breaking lose. Most of the time, we get things straightened out tuit suite...but occasionally, it turns into a mess. Then we pick ourselves up, log the lesson for future's reference, and... I have a reputation as a Pollyanna, but the truth is, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. I ask questions, evaluation the answers, and if I say "we'll meet", it is like making it to the interview. I figure that everything will show itself in time, and as long as those who are in charge of the situation are paying attention, it won't get out of hand. Sometimes folks do a really good job of hiding themselves, but in the end, one can only hide from the real world for so long. Lady Zephyr

SirSix72 -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 2:46:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: caitlyn I'm not really an authority on any of this. I'm only a "submissive" on COLLARME, because the website didn't have a selection for "sub-curious." [;)] But, it stands to reason that within the lifestyle there will be all sorts of people on all sorts of different levels. New people will logically not be as far along as others. They may look like players or gamers or whatever ... but they may just be new. In the final analysis, you wouldn't expect even the brightest freshman engineering student, to be able to build the space shuttle. Why of course I wouldnt, But would I would expect is than someone that is a newbie to respect an elder of a group ;I dont mean an online one unless this person has lots of references; The Faux-Mentor has gotten lost in the explosion in the BDSM community and many of us including myself have been guilty of saying that these newbie's are players, wannabe's and the lot. But it all boils down to the honesty of the person or persons involved to say hey its ok if your a newbie,wannabe or whatever title is given to them lol...this is about teaching as well as learning...alot of people misrepresent them self's to those of us within the community that have been around a while and those that choose to wing it based on that alot of us will call them such things as wannabe's start to breed misconseptions about the places we all seek to attain and then these places we all seek to attain become warped in a since they become meaningless Master Six

slvruncrn69 -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 3:06:01 PM)
How then are we to educate these wannabe's or whatever in how to behave on the internet or in real time. Some of the individuals I have come across have preconceived notions of what BDSM is from books, mags or even the 'evil' Television. Perhaps we can direct them to their local chapter and have them get a better education from those who are actually living the lifestyle rather then having them digesting misinformation from those who have a somewhat potentially warped sense of BDSM. On it's own BDSM is a very convoluted nebulous 'thing'. It means so many things to so many individuals not unlike religion for those who need sheparding. Each and every sect believes they are the ONLY ones who are gong to 'heaven' as it were. My personal beliefs aside, perhaps respecting anothers persons belief systems is more the way to go. Encouraging those who would be naysayers the same. How should they know without a shadow of a doubt their way of thinking is prime? Have they not taken the time to truely listen or live another individuals version of same?

lonewolf05 -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 3:12:01 PM)
awwwww and i just looked up the 7 deadly sins..and i don't have any of them... no lust no greed no avarice nothing.......i am sin free according to that list..... but i won't flaunt it....i promise... anywhoway? just because 'a' person or person's---- have a different thing going on inlife...is no reason for ME to lose sleep over it. what "I" hate are the few that come on here and bark and growl at ME coz i am not s/m..and i have no sex...or romance in my life...so they say "I" am a loser.. but i dont bad mouth THEM just coz THEY have it........i just know i am NOT one of those do-me boys. take care woofie

domtimothy46176 -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 3:32:16 PM)
I went through a phase where I allowed myself to feel indignant and offended at how others chose to live their lives. I got over it fairly quickly. These days, the only thing I have any interest in judging is what's good for me and mine. If it doesn't directly impact me, it's none of my business. Ya wanna be a cyber-slut, go for it, just leave me out of it. You want to find your One on whom to bestow the Gift of your submission, more power to ya. Ya looking for a financially-secure submissive with whom to practice financial domination, have at it. It doesn't affect me so why should I get all worked up over how someone I don't even know and am unlikely to ever encounter structures their relationship? OTOH, I love an interesting debate and can happily cross words at the drop of a hat, but that has no larger reality outside of the forum. Timothy

LordODiscipline -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 6:10:41 PM)
There are several "types" of reality.. Personal subjective, in which our "world view" is based on subjective determinants and is clositered by our experiences. It is at times in error, as we canot be exposed to 'everything', nor can we remember 'everything that transpires' (even in our own lives - let alone outside references) Public subjective - where the reality is bolstered by the subjective determination of the "many"... often times in error due to public prejudices and "oft told tales", it is more reliable than personal subjective, as it bring more information and may delve into the third.... Scientific objective - in which proof is a tangible and repeatable resultant that is often procured in a controlled environment All of these are fallible in-so-much as the "human element" (that is the personal/public subjective as contaminated by the prejudices and misinformation they may contain). This is not to state that the first two are 'always incorrect' - simply that all three are open to manipulation where inferences that are less than accurate might interfere with the process by which reality is analyzed, absorbed, assimilated and/or (and, most especially) interpreted. Because our 'experience' and how we handle outr inter-relational dynamics is mostly personal subjective, there is no means of accurately determining whether someone's "reality" is more sound than another person's without significant testing and determinations that are at best 'public subjective'-ly determined. That is not to state (either) that some people's reality is (not) more accurate than another person's reality (speaking of specific peoples)... it is to say that the actual validity of any one 'reality' is not something that might be determined through such a casual basis as a personal determination based on personally subjective data. We can (however) state that "Joseph('s) <reality> is not in line with <mine>". It is a legitimate observation based on personal subjective reality that should not offend, as it is an honest assessment based on personal-ly subjective determinants and (an assumably) stated opinion by <Joseph>. It does not make one "opinion" more valid than the other, simply compares observable personally denoted positions, and, utilizes a valid means of comparrison. When (however) people make a statement that delves into the public subjective without measurable and provable data as to the publics actual and statistical beliefs, they state public opinion through personal-ly subjective reality and that is always not a reflection of any reality - simply personal prejudice stated as something other than it is. Wow - that was fun... Just as an aside - 99% of all statistics are made up. ~J

LordODiscipline -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 6:12:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirSix72 But would I would expect is than someone that is a newbie to respect an elder of a group Those expectations are meant to be dashed.;) ~J

SirSix72 -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 6:37:50 PM)
ok fella here I think that you might have missed the point I was trying to get across while I can tolerate a healthy debate you seemed to have gotten a little lost with all the psycho babble which im really used to and do tend to like being a psych major.......but the fact of the matter remains about removing yourself from the precept that this lifestyle is based on a sexual favor and look past the fact that we as all humans like sex.......but we cant live in the sexual realm..........this isnt about if my reality is better than yours or any psycho drama that one can conjure up..........you seem to dash what everyone here has tried to post with psycho-drama and studies......there are websites from other Dr's that have carefully taken in to respect all of the evaluations your trying to talk...reality is in the BDSM realm of play the submissive is really the one with the power........the dominants are only faciltators of a mutually agreed scene or kink..........im not trying to say that anyone is better than noone nor am I trying to say that because of a safeword that the BDSMr's are merely playing at anything......SSC pretty much covered that this is a mutually agreed thing.....I read the other threads if your curious as to why I bring this up with you ,on the Gorean Forum remember, but I refused to participate in them for the baiting and flaming that was going around on the particular thread............so I ask you to come in here with an open mind and tell about your life experience......not some dreamnt up version of the psychoi-babble......if your looking to flame and bait me rememeber the assertive thing I do is click the red hand and you disappear.....im not the only person that interpets things the way I do there are alot of us but unfoourtanlly we have to contend with someone that has "Top's Disease"......Dogmastics......look it up you are treading thin ice in the direction........... Master Six

LordODiscipline -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 7:33:18 PM)
Actually - It is not psycho-babble... it is philosophy based on Kiekegaard, Kant and Nietche's treatise's on 'rational reality' as looked at by Adams. And, I did not miss the point.. it was my way of ranting about something often discussed without a "reality check" in place as far as "POV" considerations for other people's opinions. As far as your oft opined theory about "submissively determined BDSM realtional dynamics" - I said it once - I will say it again (and, please reference the "J-notes" provided) - this is your personal subjective view that has no basis in any reality other than your own prejudiced and subjective opinion... No one I know (or, respect) would accept that as a personal "reality" worthy of serious consideration (I do not know anyone real life who would consciously put up with such a thing in their relationship, is what I am trying to relate). But, then that is my personal reality. By the way - I have not now or every yet on these threads attempted to 'bait' or 'flame' someone... if you knew me, you would realize that I simply write as I think... and, it does not often come out in any warm or dully fuzzy way. If I were to do such a thing, there would be absolutely no doubt about it. ~J (who really should have the spell check someone mentioned in another thread)

JustaTop -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 7:54:19 PM)
I hate arguing over semantics,it's my least favorite fetish. click.

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