RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (Full Version)

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SirSix72 -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 8:02:32 PM)

like I sadi fella ever read up on the subject of Dogmastis.........maybe it would help you to reflect a little........if you want a pissing contest about the reality of any given situation here ya go .................lets look at the dynamic of sub/dom relationship based primarily on the precept of sex............im not talking a personal note lets look at the facts as I have stated them......if anyone thinks that they can base a relationship primarily on a sexual kink..pleasure.....fetish.......the submissive is the one in power.......she sets the limits of her play you are only the facilitator in the realm of play......you cant play at living or walk around with your dick in her or whatever 24/7...........nothing wrong if thats the way you or anyone else plays.............thats the relaity of the situation.........TPE or Gorean we tend to have views a little different than yours............so lets not forget if your paying attention to the reality of the facts........I have nothing against anyone whom only wants to play, scene with or without a signficate other......facts are facts though no matter what reality you try and choose to look at them from ...............

MAster Six



LordODiscipline -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 8:13:36 PM)

So - what you are saying is that "WIITWD [not you, as you consider it something impossible] is not possible".

Look - for many of us, this is not about a relationship based in fetishes, but relationships that are based in the structure we have determined.

You are offhandedly assuming you know what my relationship is like... but, you have apparently not been reading what I have written...

I am not sure where your issue with 'us' is - but, your opinion is definitively not an informed one.

A "dogmatist" is one who speaks about something in an authoritarian manner - assuming/imposing his views on others through overt repetition....

I might be guilty of this to an extent; but, it is in response to your (and, other's) repetitive diatribe against all things that are "BDSM" in favor of an ill defined differentiation that has no substance relative to 'what it is' in comparrison. And, that is (indeed) dogmatic of you.

So - create the jingoistic (there is a word for you) rhetoric to your heart's content... it simply is not 'washing'.[;)]
~J



JustaTop -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 8:16:42 PM)

Please don't feed the monkey?[;)]



SirSix72 -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 8:21:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72

........I have nothing against anyone whom only wants to play, scene with or without a signficate other......facts are facts though no matter what reality you try and choose to look at them from ...............

MAster Six


LOD dont try and place your worn out words in my mouth,this isnt us vs them..........

ok JustaTop in through feeding the monkey [:D]



JustaTop -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 8:34:14 PM)

Farm out dude!

Gives you back your bag of peanuts....[:)]



OscarHargraves -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 9:12:56 PM)

I see what you mean. I'm a dominant in my every day life and tend to use my military background to lead rather than follow. I'm also very much a Dom in my sexual life but I do not claim to be a Master. That's a role I'm just not ready for yet. I agree that honesty is very important, both here and in your real life. It determines to a large extent who we are.



Wolfie648 -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 9:15:19 PM)

quote:

We call others fake, phoney or wannabe's...roles players and generally those that interpret things a little more differently then we do tend to catch flak from others like ourselves as being players


I do not see people who believe differently than me as phoney's fakes, or wannabe's. I see them as people that I would not have the kind of relationship I want with, and I do not mean that in a negative manner. We are all here to find what we are looking for and needle in a haystack is probably optimistic.

'Vanilla' people judge us, we judge them we judge each other, often brutally, often out of hand without consideration - (labels will always exist). Just because someone isn't exactly like us does not mean that we or they are wrong or a fake or phoney or a wannabe (it took me 5 years to figure out what I wanted and I went down a lot of wrong roads doing so and many people in that time and probably 5 times that number since, probably think I'm an idiot (if you are in this category please feel free to not share your opinion about it :-) - it means we are different and as long as you aren't trying to hurting me or someone else against their will I am perfectly willing to let you be different - I may not like you or want to be buddies or agree with you, but I will happily let you be.

Are there flakes, fakes, wannabe's and morons, psychos, and people willing to have a laugh at your or my expense, absolutely. If a person can't already detect who they are
then, likely, only the miserable experience of extended interaction with them will teach.

D (owner of j)



Wolfie648 -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 9:21:09 PM)

quote:

But, it stands to reason that within the lifestyle there will be all sorts of people on all sorts of different levels. New people will logically not be as far along as others. They may look like players or gamers or whatever ... but they may just be new.


Nicely said.

D (owner of j)



IronBear -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/10/2005 9:50:08 PM)

Y'all see, the real fun thing about good debates is that each one of us can have our own perceptions and beliefs about the subject and for some it is written in stone FOR THEM and no one else. the value of such debates/discussions is that we all have the opportunity to learn something postuiive and even something negative, being rather smart lil cookies, we have the right to either accept or reject what we have learned. being better than average mature human bings (correct spelling), we can even all agree to disagree and put the matter away and deal with the important things in life such as Sex ~ drinking ~ sex ~ spanking a nikid pice of arse ~ sex and more sex...... QED.



LordODiscipline -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/11/2005 2:19:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72

........I have nothing against anyone whom only wants to play, scene with or without a signficate other......facts are facts though no matter what reality you try and choose to look at them from ...............

MAster Six


LOD dont try and place your worn out words in my mouth,this isnt us vs them..........

ok JustaTop in through feeding the monkey [:D]

Then don't make it personal... You appear to have a specific agenda... repetitive and repetitively insulting.

This does not have to be about people, and yet you and a few others seem to enjoy making it that way.

And, what is 'in <your> mouth' is of no concern to me.... words do not become worn out.

Consider it.

~J



darkinshadows -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/11/2005 5:03:54 AM)

quote:

But would I would expect is than someone that is a newbie to respect an elder of a group ;I dont mean an online one unless this person has lots of references;


Why? I am interested why anyone would expect anything from someone whom they do not own for one thing. Secondly, why should someone who may be new, be expected to respect someone in a group that they do not really know just because they are seen by some as an 'elder'? Respect comes from knoweldge and the way something is taught - its not a prerequsite - even if some people do see it as something to be earnt (which, incidently, I do not believe). Respect is related to experience - and not all elders have that, just like not all young dominants are inexperienced 'young pups'.

quote:

if your looking to flame and bait me rememeber the assertive thing I do is click the red hand and you disappear.....im not the only person that interpets things the way I do there are alot of us but unfoourtanlly we have to contend with someone that has "Top's Disease"......Dogmastics......look it up you are treading thin ice in the direction...........


With all due respect, I don't see any flaming or baiting - if anything people are agreeing to the genral concept of the OP - but Your defense is up. But then, my statement is subjective, just as Yours is.
Blocking people for personal insults and bitch slapping, I can understand - its very tiresome and does nothing to aid a discussion. But blocking just for not liking what you hear shows little wisdom. For, even from words one does not like or agree with, comes learning. One does not have to respond - but one is gaining knowledge, and that is always a positive thing. ANd throwing around such accusations of dogmatist is again, more irony - and subjective.

quote:

.................lets look at the dynamic of sub/dom relationship based primarily on the precept of sex............im not talking a personal note lets look at the facts as I have stated them......if anyone thinks that they can base a relationship primarily on a sexual kink..pleasure.....fetish.......the submissive is the one in power.......she sets the limits of her play you are only the facilitator in the realm of play......you cant play at living or walk around with your dick in her or whatever 24/7...........nothing wrong if thats the way you or anyone else plays.............thats the relaity of the situation.........TPE or Gorean we tend to have views a little different than yours............so lets not forget if your paying attention to the reality of the facts........I have nothing against anyone whom only wants to play, scene with or without a signficate other......facts are facts though no matter what reality you try and choose to look at them from ...............


But is not your generalisation nothing more than that which You are disputing? Your OP bemoans those that call fake or phooeny or wannbe, this is a generalisations based on a set personal line. One persons wannabe, is another persons dominant, is another persons gorean... nothing is thankfully, set in stone. Just because a couple live a sexual Ds relationship, does not put the submissive in power. Just means they are in a sexual Ds relationship. It does not lessen the power dynamic, it doesnt make the dominant any less a dom just because it doesnt adhere to your chosen box. Your correct of course - Being honest with yourself is a huge step and there are people who cannot centre on such and this can create problems down the line for them, but that has nothing to do with what type of relationship they are in. Whether you self label TPE, or Gorean or 24/7 or part-time play or Top/bottom has no baring on what make a true power exchange or true relationship or wannabe or fake. Truth and Reality are subjective.

Each word - each definiton is different to each and every person. Because of this, understanding is a personal thing. It can become tainted when placed on another, because no one knows anyone else or their definitions at all. People are constantly trying to make definitions stick. But the irony is that wiitwd is the complete opposite to that. You see things as they are for you and thats all that matters. But to try and impress Your definition on others outside your box is simply a waste of time - and that is not being honest with oneself.

Peace and Love




BlueDevil -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/11/2005 5:24:58 AM)

quote:


This does not have to be about people,
~J


I agree. It should be about the exchange of ideas.

This happens everywhere, though. My HOA (Home Owners Association for anyone not familiar) is a perfect example. The original post, opinion or question, is posted, and then it is disected, supported, attacked, and then the personal attacks begin. Debate is a great thing: if you have an open mind you can learn from those with different views and experiences.

Whether someone has been posting to this site for years or is a new arrival, a well known member of the international lifestyle community or someone who practices a form of the lifestyle in the shadows of their local community, someone who practices or one who has just discovered the lifestyle and has come here to learn, or those who only explore this online, everyone deserves to be treated with respect. Treated with respect, not respected. Respect is earned. But good manners don't cost anything. Being rude is what children do until they learn to behave in polite society.





Kindred2Evil -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/11/2005 6:02:23 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72

The question in my mind still remains on this subject are as follows.........We call others fake,phoney or wannabe's...roles players and generally those that interpet things a little more differently then we do tend to catch flak from others like ourselves as being players............I was thinking that maybe alot of other people including myself at times needs to look at the reality of our situation and think if we are capable of giving this our all in the terms that we tend to classify ourselves such as Dom/Master/sub/slave.........I see alot of profiles that say alot of things.......the thing I almost never see is the honesty of the situation in the fact is the only time they are capable of submitting/Mastering is only in or during a scene or if the individual is capable of doing this as a lifestyle......honesty is a virtue among ourselves and others........



Just out of curiosity, how do you know you're not looking at honesty in a profile? It's not so easy, at least not for me, to look at written words and go "Hmm sounds fishy" or "Lookee there, a BDSM god". I've talked to so many people from here through email and messenger it's not even funny. Some of them were honest and sincere in their desire to learn, others were full of crappola from the moment they hit the return key. This works in real time too.
I always try to give a person the benefit of the doubt whether it's talking to them online or meeting them in person. You're going to find posers everywhere you go, that's just life. Honesty is something that we all skirt the edge of once in awhile. There is absolutely NO ONE who can say "I've never told a lie", either a lie by ommission, a "white lie" or a big ole whopper, a lie is a lie is a lie.
As for judging people, well we're all guilty of that too. Most of the time when you meet someone you make a judgement about them within the first minute or so of talking with them. I love going to events where people think I'm a submissive. It's happened in the past where people we've met in the lifestyle have thought I was something I wasn't because of the way I act, look, stand or sit. Personally, I'm very comfortable on the floor. Most chairs don't have enough support for my back which hurts all the time. I'm masochistic as well which some seem to thinks go hand in hand with submission. Not in my book.
The I'm trying to make is this, everyone is guitly of what your saying at one point or another, it's just human nature. We all judge and we all lie. It's a shame when we decide to do it all at one time and start slamming on people here. The net has been a wonderful thing for alot of people, it's brought an influx of new blood to BDSM. Granted some of the ideas people have may be a little out there to you or me or someone else, but if it works for them, who cares? There isn't any "Great Dom/me, submissive/slave All Powerful Handbook" that I know of, or did I miss that printing???



Kasia -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/27/2005 10:52:33 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72

I sit here on my newly patented flame proof soapbox thinking about alot of threads posted here on the message boards. The threads that most amazed me were the ones that spoke of phoneys and wanna be's. I was doing some self-reflection on past comments that I either made or many of you have made. The question in my mind still remains on this subject are as follows.........We call others fake,phoney or wannabe's...roles players and generally those that interpet things a little more differently then we do tend to catch flak from others like ourselves as being players............I was thinking that maybe alot of other people including myself at times needs to look at the reality of our situation and think if we are capable of giving this our all in the terms that we tend to classify ourselves such as Dom/Master/sub/slave.........I see alot of profiles that say alot of things.......the thing I almost never see is the honesty of the situation in the fact is the only time they are capable of submitting/Mastering is only in or during a scene or if the individual is capable of doing this as a lifestyle......honesty is a virtue among ourselves and others........

im off the soapbox again,

Master Six

Takes a lot of courage to be completely honest with oneself and others. I have no problems with that at all, but I notice that people do "lack balls" nowdays. Whether it is being confused in general, or thinking "what would others say if I do or dont", or just being plainly a scared little rabbit - I dont know, and to tell the truth dont care.

I have been told a lot of times that I am too honest to the point of cruelty. Dont believe in too honest. If I can handle the truth I dont see any reason for someone else to avoid it (although I dont care one inch about what people think of me, I have "huge balls" and I am arrogant, that all helps to some point).

As for online players, I have nothing to say - if it makes them happy and as long as they stay away from me.....



LacieDoll -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/30/2005 10:29:40 AM)

BDSM is like anything else in Real World. When you start out you flub, make mistakes, ask a lot of questions - some dumb and some smart. You learn the ropes, you talk to people and become more acquainted. As your interest and knowledge increase you begin to read more, learn more and not ask so many questions, establish friendships and relationships. Then you grow more and become a mentor to others because of your experience and knowledge. Like in RL work, once you reach the mentor stage its easy to forget the path in which you took to get to the state your are presently in. Little things escape your mind and your tolerance level for new people begins to change. Some adopt the holier-than-thou attitude, and some think they are better than others and don't give time to getting to know new people or helping them and others help whomever they see may need them. After a certain point we become complacent to people that are deemed "wanna be's" or "posers".

But if you take the time and look back perhaps someone thought that of you a long time ago. What is right for me isn't necessarily right for someone else. What I do and like might be considered or coined one way and to someone else something different. I think like in the Real World with religion, race, ethnicity or anything else ...we need to adopt a tolerance and never forget that we don't stop learning and accepting.

I might not like what someone does or how they are but who am I to call them something. Is there a list of wanna be personalities or traits? I don't think so. I think that BDSM is very open and unique that people can adopt what makes them feel comfortable without being lumped into a generic pool for the sake of being labeled BDSM. Thats the beauty - Freedom.



starshineowned -> RE: Reality vrs Roleplay (10/30/2005 1:06:28 PM)

Greetings..~smiles~


Just out of curiosity..If Truth and Reality are subjective (in regards to wiitwd)..then how can anyone say they are "learning the ropes" or "making mistakes" if there is nothing ever set in stone to actually learn? If everything is always perceived vastly differently with no cohesion anywhere then it's almost like saying nobody's (experience=elders) means diddly squat, and to make it more bluntly Everyone of us is a wannabe, and newbie.

starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin



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