Interesting debate for the Misses that are here.....

Interesting debate for the Misses that are here..... (Full Version)

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blackpearl81 -> Interesting debate for the Misses that are here..... (4/19/2008 7:51:54 PM)
Ok.. (I'm trying in vain to come up with a topic that hasn't been beaten to death already.. so please, bare with me) Most here would (hopefully?) agree that age plays a significant factor..I highly doubt you'd see a 35+ y.o Dominant, owning a ~25 something year old sub Notice: I said doubt.Thats not to say it doesn't happen. So, with that being said.. If You had an age limitation, (or experience limitation) what would cause You to rethink that, if anything? I'm sure everyone here has come across an exemplary submissive at one point or another... How many here have bent Your rules significantly - to give that one submissive (who You would have NEVER normally considered otherwise) a chance, and what was the outcome? It doesn't neccesarily have to be something like age... it can be pretty much anything.

azropedntied -> RE: Interesting debate for the Misses that are here..... (4/19/2008 9:12:26 PM)
My age restrictions are between legal and healthy .Defined further would be for me 21 -? , some state legal as 18 yet for me to entrust someone 18-21 would be difficult for exp alone in bdsm and in life .In healthy i do not mean limited by some ailment or condition rather healthy in mind,energy, body ,spirit, and soul .Age itself is just that a number , and i know there are many more factors than just a number defined as years on the planet .I have had exchanges with Women 20-30+ years older than me and 20 years younger as well .I do see some who limit themselves in age , for me that would just limit my own personal journey .

TNstepsout -> RE: Interesting debate for the Misses that are here..... (4/19/2008 9:20:44 PM)
What would cause me to rethink my general age limitations is meeting someone that I just really, REALLY clicked with and felt a deep instant rapport with. I would rethink a lot of things for someone like that.

MZJULIA -> RE: Interesting debate for the Misses that are here..... (4/19/2008 9:28:28 PM)
Hi, well guess Im one of those Ones you were doubting...I do have a subboi who has been with me since he was 24 and is now 25..Im now 45 so guess w/we're one of those rare ones..and btw i have younger than he and older than he and for Me it comes down to their state of mind and ability to focus MZ.J XXX

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Interesting debate for the Misses that are here..... (4/19/2008 9:38:33 PM)
I am really working on looking at younger men....why just the other week I went out with a 40 year old! :) My cutoff is essentially, whether I am the age of the person's parent. Younger than 30? Lovely to look at, but not for me. Upper limit? I haven't reached it yet. I like old guys. (obviously!) and as long as he is healthy, hey, I will consider him.

LadyPact -> RE: Interesting debate for the Misses that are here..... (4/20/2008 12:33:50 AM)
As I mentioned in your other thread, blackpearl, one rule that I changed was not taking a sub who was in the military. The other thing that I was against for years was taking a married submissive. Well, you know what they say about never say never. My collared sub happens to be both. What caused Me to rethink it? Honestly, it was him. If it wasn't for the type of person that he is, I doubt I would have changed My mind. I used to say every sub who is married to someone else always thought they were the exception to the rule. Then, I found one who was. If he asked to be released tomorrow, I'd probably go back to the 'no married people' rule, because it would be a rare thing to find someone as exceptional as him.

MistressOfGa -> RE: Interesting debate for the Misses that are here..... (4/20/2008 2:20:53 AM)
quote: I highly doubt you'd see a 35+ y.o Dominant, owning a ~25 something year old sub Ok I made an exception with my submissive. He was 18 and I was 47, he is now 21 and I am 50. It was almost love at first sight for me. He made me feel alive..he made me feel young...he made me feel.. In other words, he totally rocked my world. I love him like I have loved no other and I treat him (as a sub) like I have treated no other. I wouldnt change anything about us for the world. MoGa

MissMorrigan -> RE: Interesting debate for the Misses that are here..... (4/20/2008 2:44:11 AM)
Blackpearl, I've had various relationships, only two have been with men close to my own age (I am now 43) or older. It is a rarity for me to find myself attractive to older males, I am and always have been attracted to men in their 20s... that hasn't been a deliberate age grouping for me to specifically go 'after', but have found that of nearly all (bar two) of the men that I have been attracted to, they have been in their 20s. I find men, generally speaking, in their 40s/50s to be too 'set' in their ways and have developed too many hang ups along the way. My own boy, with whom I have enjoyed a relationship for the last two years - our anniversary is next month, is 25 and we are a great match for one another on all levels. As for any age limitation, I guess you can say that I do and have limited myself insofar as terms of to whom I am attracted, so cannot foresee me changing that, especially now.

chamberqueen -> RE: Interesting debate for the Misses that are here..... (4/20/2008 3:53:25 AM)
Maybe I'm the exception, but at 47 I enjoy young subs. I like working with newbies, helping to guide them and make sure that they stay safe, having them have strong bodies, and there is a thrill in having a man 20 years younger than me think that I am sexy. If I were to draw an age line, as unfair as it sounds, it would be in men much older than me. I simply prefer my guys 40 or younger. I would hate to be having a session with a 65 year old and have them have a heart attack on me.

MladyHathor -> RE: Interesting debate for the Misses that are here..... (4/20/2008 4:35:08 AM)
*I made an exception once for a married---never again.*

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Interesting debate for the Misses that are here..... (4/20/2008 5:11:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: blackpearl81 Most here would (hopefully?) agree that age plays a significant factor..I highly doubt you'd see a 35+ y.o Dominant, owning a ~25 something year old sub i did own a 24yr pet before however since he kept "disappearing" on me, i let him go. i do have an age limitation someone at least my age or above. now i might consider someone younger than me however he has to show that he's truly committed to this or i'll walk away.

MistressFaye1 -> RE: Interesting debate for the Misses that are here..... (4/20/2008 5:38:43 AM)
I love the responses! I'm 52, my soon to be collared, 24/7 will be 30 in October. If someone had told me this would be the case a few months ago I would have said they were nuts. I didn't have an age limit per se but I couldn't see myself entering a long term relationship with someone younger than my oldest daughter (she turned 30 in February). What made me change? His maturity, attitude, caring nature, charm, and intelligence were all factors. He fits with my family, which was a biggie to me in both worlds because we're so close. He also has a knack of winning the hearts of all he meets. It's funny when I think about it... When I was younger the submissives were older than me and at times much older (Army days more than any other time) and now that I'm older, they have been younger. Ms. Faye

MaamJay -> RE: Interesting debate for the Misses that are here..... (4/20/2008 6:47:10 AM)
I'm not particularly ageist. Obviously the OP was way off in his prediction of older Mistresses not wanting subs who were 10 years younger LOL! To Me it's as much about life compatability as about lifestyle ... so there has to be some similar vanilla interests, love of pets, similar worldviews, ethics etc. I am 51, will be 52 in June ... I am talking with a sub who is 34 ... and even more surprising, my sub side is collared to Master who is 36! He and i get on brilliantly, and now i'm the singer in His rock and roll band [:D] ... and loving it! I've considered and played with some older subs ... THEY are the ones with the hang up concerning my youthful Master. Also, they have been pretty set in their ways which isn't desirable, and one was so physically fragile I refused to play as I really feared for his health! So generally, I don't foresee an older sub entering this poly household. However, I never say never ... if the RIGHT older sub came along ... then like LadyPact, I might find My rules were made to be broken by just the right person. Maam Jay aka violet[A]

MsStarlett -> RE: Interesting debate for the Misses that are here..... (4/20/2008 6:47:14 AM)
My age limit is that he should have been born before 1980. While the OP seems to be a very nice, mature young man, I have problems with boys the same age or younger than my oldest son. Somewhere, in the back of my mind is the old "If some old broad did THAT to MY son, I'd cut her heart out and make her watch me stomp on it!" But, that's just the 'Mom' in me. So, out of respect for the other 'Moms' out there, I won't do it to their boys. My youngest is/was 29. I often forget just how young he is because he runs with my social group and is extremely interested in old Sci-Fi & Monster movies, TV shows and assorted media, so he can keep up with all the casual conversations. The last time I saw him, I made a reference to something he didn't understand... and he reminded me of his age. I laughed that I had forgotten that he was such a baby. He just gave me that evil grin of his that I love so much and said "You told me from the start, as long as I was older than my son, we were good! I've got 2 years on him!" Oh! That boy was HOT! I'm so unhappy that he moved out of town.

blackpearl81 -> RE: Interesting debate for the Misses that are here..... (4/20/2008 7:31:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact As I mentioned in your other thread, blackpearl, one rule that I changed was not taking a sub who was in the military. The other thing that I was against for years was taking a married submissive. Well, you know what they say about never say never. My collared sub happens to be both. What caused Me to rethink it? Honestly, it was him. If it wasn't for the type of person that he is, I doubt I would have changed My mind. I used to say every sub who is married to someone else always thought they were the exception to the rule. Then, I found one who was. If he asked to be released tomorrow, I'd probably go back to the 'no married people' rule, because it would be a rare thing to find someone as exceptional as him. Is he currently serving? Or was he honorably discharged? Or is he a reservist? Thank You for the replies everyone! I've been wanting to get everyones opinion on this, mainly because I find myself attracted to older women... but my age (27) is kind of a hindrance..

ShiftedJewel -> RE: Interesting debate for the Misses that are here..... (4/20/2008 7:31:21 AM)
I don't really have an age limit thing... I do prefer breathing bodies though, healthy is a big perk. My major problem with young (21 to early 30's) subs/slaves is simply the parent factor. Either they have little ones or will eventually want little ones... not gonna happen here. So the one thing that would make me reconsider is proof that they are completely sterile or that they don't EVER want to be a parent (as in getting fixed), and believe me, I question them long and hard before hand, I don't accept their fantasy based belief that having a female dominant in their lives is all they'll ever need or want. That isn't something that I could or would ever ask a young person to give up or walk away from. As an example, my sister (another female dominant) met a young male sub. That was also her concern. He told her straight up that he would never father a child... he has RA, it's hereditary and he refused to take that kind of chance. They're now happily married. *Jewel*

thetammyjo -> RE: Interesting debate for the Misses that are here..... (4/20/2008 7:44:25 AM)
My current age range is 20 to 45 right now though I have a preference for my age (38) or younger. Fox is 11 years my junior, always was, always will be. If I met someone at an event who was 18 or 19 and they impressed me with their behavior and attitude I'd be open. Sadly I can't say the same for someone 45+ because of my personal history.

ShaktiSama -> RE: Interesting debate for the Misses that are here..... (4/20/2008 8:34:20 AM)
There are very few limits I would not and have not broken for a person who could inspire enough love and desire. I wish I could honestly say "I would never--", but the absolute truth is that Amor Vincit Omnia. Eros is the ultimate seige engine. It'll take down most any wall. Age is just a number to me. The measure of maturity I'm looking for is strength of character and purpose. There are many 18-year-old boys who know themselves better, who are stronger and more loving, and who are less ambivalent about their submission than men twice and three times their age. Even just for physical and power-exchange reasons, I think a lot of female dominants are open to younger men. One of my femme domme friends in Vancouver is a completely unreprentant cougar--she is well over 40 and has very little interest in any man over 30. Her preferred age range is 18-22, I believe, and her training is highly structured. Her toys really jump through the hoops! It's very impressive. At any rate. Returning to the OP and the reason behind the question--I don't think that there is anything about being younger or even being in the military that will keep the right domme from wanting you. Just be yourself from the start, completely honest about who you are, where your life is headed, what you want, and what you like--both in your vanilla interests and pursuits and in BDSM. No younger man has EVER hurt his chances with me by saying "I am attracted to older women, especially you." And as you saw in your previous thread, some female dominants do love military men and are proud and honored to collar them. Just keep your chin up and keep searching! Good things come to those who hang in there. [:)]

khem -> RE: Interesting debate for the Misses that are here..... (4/20/2008 9:37:02 AM)
My relationships have never been traditional. I have dated people twice my age without even noticing until someone else decided to make a big deal out of it. I actually went through a period of time (suggested by a rather bad therapist I've since fired) where I sought out 1) vanilla 2) straight 3) my own age 4) men. I thought it was silly to try to limit myself that way. I do relate best to people older (by at least 5-10 years) than myself, but I suspect as I age, this factor will go away. If someone is sincere and smart, I wouldn't turn them away only because they are young.

Tantriqu -> RE: Interesting debate for the Misses that are here..... (4/20/2008 9:54:03 AM)
All of my subs have been in their 20's-30's. Younger men to me are much more open sexually, with fewer hang-ups in general. Edited to add: Hard limits to me means never a: married, bi-, tv, 'bear'n'beard'. However, as has been said above, I don't have an arbitrary age limit, so if a man a few years older than I impressed me, I could consider him.

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