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questiong a punishment..... - 4/20/2008 2:00:39 PM   
angelwithhonor


Posts: 193
Joined: 5/16/2007
Status: offline 		this is rather new for me as in asking a question to the forum. it has been wondering on this lil brain of mine for a while. have asked other Dom's opinion on this subject. okay here goes! i chatted with a Dom from another site. He said that He new many D/s and M/s relationships. the subject  of punishment came up. He said He knew a Master who took a nail and nailed it into His slaves nipple! and i know that  obeying and defying have diffrent meanings behind them.  i would like to know, is there such a punishment that truly didnt warrant such a severe severity as this. and also can a sub/slave question her  punishment ..if it may cause her harm?....for me that would be.. truly be a test of my taking the punishment without a peep ...seeing how could i look at Him for even doing so much harm in me. i think i would look so differently towards Him at the point...the trust would surlely be affected in my heartful soul!....am i wrong on the way i look at this..W/we put so much trust in the saftey of our Doms/Dommes...and when look at a punishment of harm, the saftey and trust as lessened..thank Y/you forY/ your time in this matter...ps..i know that my spelling is all off here..angels arent smart enough to get it to work..LOL
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RE: questiong a punishment..... - 4/20/2008 2:11:43 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I would say it's all in what is acceptable to you.  It is not acceptable to me to have nails inserted into my skin. But that's just me.

As far as punishment goes... there are two things, discipline and punishment.  Discipline is correction of an unwanted behavior (by addressing the behavior), and punishment is generally the imposing of something distasteful or painful in response to the unwanted behavior (but does nothing to address the problem behavior).

For instance... if I were to speak out of turn, I would expect that I would be corrected in some way (such as a "look", a certain word, a tone, a hand signal, something).  Should I not correct my own behavior, I would expect there would be some sort of discipline, such as being forbidden to speak for a certain amount of time.  This has a direct correlation to the unwanted behavior.

If I were to be punished for that behavior, it might be something like (searching here for something I don't like) standing on raw grains of rice.  The physical act of making my feet hurt would have NOTHING to do with the problem behavior and would do nothing towards correcting my behavior.  It is an experience designed to hurt me, not to help me fix my behavior.

Cali




_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to angelwithhonor)
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RE: questiong a punishment..... - 4/20/2008 2:16:23 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		You can look at something ANY way you want, it's a wonderful thing.  Then, you know what you're looking for in a partner and you make sure before you commit to anything that his approach to punishment isn't something totally horrifying and unacceptable to YOU. 

There are subs/slaves out there that don't find a nail pounded through their nipple horrifying.  I do, and wouldn't allow it. 

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

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RE: questiong a punishment..... - 4/20/2008 2:20:02 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Some finishing nails are smaller gage than a piercing… but on that note I leave saying that you should never take advice about punishment from a sadist. 

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I give good thread.

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RE: questiong a punishment..... - 4/20/2008 2:30:50 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I cannot stress this enough...

Find a dominant with whom you are compatible.

I truly believe that hooking up with someone who does not share your views and ideas is just asking for trouble and misery.

(in reply to angelwithhonor)
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RE: questiong a punishment..... - 4/20/2008 2:41:13 PM   
angelwithhonor


Posts: 193
Joined: 5/16/2007
Status: offline 		....giggles at RS....hmmmm shall take that in mind...lol...am not new to this site or the lifestyle..but have limited amount of experience on R/T...i am not sure if this slave asked "hey whats the worst punishment Your gonna give me"??...would He say...ummmmmm a nail driven in Your nipple..lol...i have been seeing a Dominant who is very Dominant in nature..and new to this lifestyle..would never say to Him so how bad is punishment going to be..so its okay to question punishment with a DomDomme?...this Dom knows that punishment isnt about pleasure, and i would so hope..that punishment would not be doing harm to me..trust the very key to any relationship..and the lifestyle even more so....would hope that They would take that trust to them and embrace her/him....and teach them not hurt them to the point of damage..to put this in a lighter note..like me i dont have big breast... all nipples..so cringes the very thought!!!!!

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RE: questiong a punishment..... - 4/20/2008 2:52:46 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		This kind of question ALWAYS beings me back to Initial Communication.

I ALWAYS discuss the types of punishment I am common to give.

Why? Because Consent needs to be there in the Punishment as well.

I have Three Major punishments.

1) I put them in a corner to nose to a wall and inform them that if they wish to behave like a child I will treat them like one.
2) They will spend a few days on the floor and will not be able to touch me period for a set amount of time
3) I Pack thier bags

I explain this before hand so they know what to expect.

Now Punishment for Play is a different story I understand that people do this and so they may need a more lenient concept I personally do not punish for play so it doesn't relate to my situation.

Steel

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Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

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RE: questiong a punishment..... - 4/20/2008 3:13:18 PM   
angelwithhonor


Posts: 193
Joined: 5/16/2007
Status: offline 		....so their is punishment in play..as in role play Sir?....just felt its not my place to ask such a thing..guess there goes my trusting heart i guess...knew a Dom from cm..caught His slave cheating...He told her two choices are going to be given to you...one she could be released..or go to take punishment without knowing..she choice the latter of the two...told her go to the bathroom fill the tub with water..stand naked..He came in with paddle in hand..bent her over the tub and held her head under water..as He paddled her ass hard..and repeated many times over...another harsh one i can see...and she wasnt knowing of punishment i presume....

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RE: questiong a punishment..... - 4/20/2008 3:22:53 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I have to request, angel, that you try to use sentences.  I know you said you can't spell, but trying to read one long sentence that is composed of thoughts separated by ellipses is very difficult.

Some people are punishers, some are not.  Some believe in discipline, which is why I spoke of both.  Anyone who felt the need to hold my head underwater would not be the right person for me.  But I don't cheat either.

It is certainly not wrong of you to discuss what types of discipline and what types of punishment a dominant favors.  You can always ask something like, "what is the worst thing a submissive ever did and what did you do in response?" Remember that you are never precluded from asking a question UNTIL you are in a relationship with someone, and then you are under the obligations of that relationship (which may or may not include the ability to ask questions).

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to angelwithhonor)
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RE: questiong a punishment..... - 4/20/2008 3:23:18 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelwithhonor

....so their is punishment in play..as in role play Sir?.



Yes and no.

It is a role play of sorts but it is more just a Game.

He says "Do that again and I'll spank you"
She does it again
He Spanks her
That was the Point.

There are also people who go to play parties for the purpose of administering a punishment turning the whole idea into a voyersitic purpose which leads to the question of why did the sub do it in the first place, because she wanted to or for the punishment or for both?

Then next question I always ask is "How is this Submission?"

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to angelwithhonor)
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RE: questiong a punishment..... - 4/20/2008 3:28:09 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

It is a role play of sorts but it is more just a Game.


Or perhaps a manipulation.
If punishment is done correctly it shouldn't be like play or fun.
Specific and appropriate discipline should lessen the need for punishment.


_____________________________

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RE: questiong a punishment..... - 4/20/2008 3:31:31 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		Personally i don't think punishments should cross any hard limits and for many permanent harm or injury is a hard limit.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


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RE: questiong a punishment..... - 4/20/2008 3:32:20 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		And, not every Dom is heavily into punishment. 

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

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RE: questiong a punishment..... - 4/20/2008 3:40:05 PM   
angelwithhonor


Posts: 193
Joined: 5/16/2007
Status: offline 		sorry cali i seem to rabble on and dont know where i should stop my sentence. i will see how long it is and think hmmmmm. but thankY/ you all for the wonderful comments. i do come here every day to read and learn of others views. i have learned alot, and with that said. i do wish a peaceful journey in all that Y/you do. i do have a complex on coming to the forum. bc i dont feel like a expert in the comments of the lifestyle. i am limited but i know who i am and what i am meant to be.

(in reply to windchymes)
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RE: questiong a punishment..... - 4/20/2008 3:51:04 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		No complexes allowed!  You can't learn if you don't ask!  Just enjoy your journey!

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to angelwithhonor)
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RE: questiong a punishment..... - 4/20/2008 3:56:30 PM   
cautiousiasub


Posts: 199
Joined: 10/17/2005
Status: offline 		I guess maybe it's just me, but there was something in the OP that really rubbed me wrong. If you feel the need to question a punishment becuase it may cause you harm, why are you with that particular person? Any concern of serious harm (pushing the limits of my physical or emotional safety) would be a big red flag to me. If you think that it's a possibility that he may seriously harm you, where's the trust? It also brings to mind the use of safewords.

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"If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam." - Johnny Carson

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RE: questiong a punishment..... - 4/20/2008 4:03:09 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Exactly what behavior was the nipple piercing supposed to correct?  Sounds like a typical case of needing an excuse to do something very sadist and calling it "punishment" or just picking something icky and completely unrelated to actual behavior training but since it's "icky" then it's punishment?  Happens all the time.

However, it should be noted that people have/do put needles, pins and nails through parts of their body in the kink world.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: questiong a punishment..... - 4/20/2008 4:19:07 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		Well .. as someone who *has* had her nipples nailed to something as punishment ..(several very small nails but the size was significant in that physiological context let me assure you) let me please inform you of how this situation worked for us ... in fact am wondering .. if this is me and Him having been turned into urban legend! (woooop woooop if so! - thats something to tick off the list)

I earned 6 nails pinning me to a length of wood for a combination of three infractions. Those rule breaks would probably not even be punished by most Dominants by anything more than a telling of. I have even been indulged in that behaviour by other Dominants. Our dynamic was not and is not like that, somethings could be over looked but this, a refusal to comply out of prudishness and pride, was TOTALLY unacceptable. I didnt need the punishment to know that, but I had earned it so I was getting it. If I had not understood it I would have questioned why and would have had it explained thoroughly.  I was *fully* aware of what the punishment was going to be and could have walked away at anytime. I did not question it, I did not walk away. I did submit to my punishment.

It was not pleasant, I was afraid before it started, I was in pain while it happened, and I was in discomfort afterwards. It was a punishment , I had broken a basic rule, I had forgotten my place and disrespected His. He wanted me to remember that mistake, that punishment and that lesson.

He had me sterilise the nails, He had me use nails that are smaller than most piercers would use, He apprantly did that specifically to introduce an element of fear to the punishment. Actually the worst part for me was the fear, the nailing itself was not that bad, I play with needles like that now on a girls night in, but the build up, the preparation, His way with me what I was creating for myself in my head was all deeply frightening and intense.

At that stage we hadn't actually negotiated all that much, and I would imagine He had very little idea how I would react to it. perhaps he expected me to walk away, perhaps he expected me to refuse to submit to the punishment, perhaps at that stage it was information He needed to have about me. But I did, I got through it and I survived and an hour later we were chatting happily on the phone. In the grand scheme of things, it was the worst punishment I have ever received but not the worst thing that had ever happened to me in play.

and two years later ... I still love him and trust him and submit to him.

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





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RE: questiong a punishment..... - 4/20/2008 4:35:22 PM   
adrian28


Posts: 833
Joined: 3/8/2008
Status: offline 		I myself am quick to hand out disipline but, punishment is reserved for extreme breaches of protocol. If correcting unwanted behavior is all it takes, I need not take it farther. Then again, my sub is a pain slut so disipline can be painful, in someone else's veiw.

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Dragon of Lust- Adrian
True to my own sense of integrity - Adrian Hayes

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RE: questiong a punishment..... - 4/20/2008 4:51:26 PM   
TysGalilah


Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline 		Angel
for me, breast torture would be a reward or something done as pleasureable for Tyson.  If I have done something wrong that needs punishment or correction, Tyson verbally tells me.  He believes that my brain should definately be able to tell the difference between when he wants to beat me or use me because it pleases him, and when he is displeased and I need to correct my behavior, and so physical discipline or punishment that he might use during playing ,( ie  spanking, flogging, piercing, cutting, bondage/torture)  would not be his choice to use if he needed to punish.
 
 
 

_____________________________

galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

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