RE: Written Protocol in a D/S Relationship

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Written Protocol in a D/S Relationship

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Written Protocol in a D/S Relationship

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Written Protocol in a D/S Relationship - 4/21/2008 3:13:30 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TormentedTwo

Wow, logic and informed rational thought being shared. How wonderful.

Shhh, don't let it get out; we'd all get the wrong sort of reputation. *winks conspiratorily*

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to TormentedTwo)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Written Protocol in a D/S Relationship - 4/21/2008 3:46:43 PM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

Personally, I hate D/s written protocol as discussed here including the improper capitalization and the S/slash speak. For me, it smacks of chat speak or text message cryptic which I detest. It's juvenile. I have struggled my entire life with my total ineptitude with spelling. To see someone deliberately mangle the English language is as irritating as nails on a chalkboard in my eyes. Obviously, this is not a popular opinion, but it is mine.

However, that being said, my favorite doormat does it when he is speaking to me as my sub and drops it when he is speaking as my friend. I call him by his name when I speaking to him as a friend and use only derogatory terms when toying with him. That is what works for us. It helps to differentiate between the two roles.

Each couple must find what works for them.

(in reply to darchChylde)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Written Protocol in a D/S Relationship - 4/21/2008 6:56:56 PM

khem

Posts: 300
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline

I like having the power to make someone do something ridiculous, but I doubt she considers it as such.

There's nothing inferior about being submissive, but it's fairly common for people to enjoy giving up freedoms. If you're doing it of your own free will, I do not see it as making yourself less than, I think it's hot. As for the asshats that will make assumptions and treat you poorly without your consent? fuck em.

< Message edited by khem -- 4/21/2008 7:00:37 PM >

(in reply to MsStarlett)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Written Protocol in a D/S Relationship - 4/21/2008 7:21:22 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andjew

I fear that by following this protocol I am implying that Our relationship is not founded on duality and equality. The fundemental problem is that I do not understand the implication of decapitalizing my name. I capitalize Hers as a sign of respect, my logic is that doing the opposite implies disrespect.

I have to admit that the bolded phrase above has Me confused. Perhaps I am misinterpreting it? D/s or M/s relationships are most definitely founded on duality. However, I do not feel, for Me, they are founded on equality.
The inequality is the duality, and therin lies the thrill of it. It is what makes it not vanilla, or not mainstream.
I am not one who drops into and out of roles. But some do as you can see from the responses on these threads. If you are My slave, you are My slave. You are not My equal friend sometimes with different relationship rules and My slave with protocols at other times. But that is just Me.
Written assignments referring to yourself in a lower case and Her in an upper case simply serves to keep you in constant mind of that duality and how it plays out in your agreed upon relationship. It has nothing to do with disrespect.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to Andjew)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Written Protocol in a D/S Relationship - 4/21/2008 8:38:48 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

To chime in, I would agree with those here that use this protocol as to the reasons. As a Domme, I ask it of My subs to remind them of their place (but NOT indicative of any lack of respect on My part). It is a conscious device, a reprogramming of thought patterns, something deceptively simple but effective. As a sub to Master i am happy to use it (in my journal for eg) ... and i use it here in the forums so the good souls here might know whether it's Jay (My Domme side) or violet (my sub side) who is "speaking".

While I applaud a new sub who thinks about things and doesn't accept things blindly ... you do need to think about whether your submission is, as Lady Hathor said, only on your terms. That might be acceptable to a point when new ... but you need to understand that ultimately you should be prepared to do things you don't LIKE but which you accept won't HARM you. BDSM is about CHALLENGE ... to your thinking, your habits, your body ... if it's too easy ... what's the point?

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Written Protocol in a D/S Relationship - 4/21/2008 8:58:42 PM

Slave2Bob

Posts: 65
Joined: 3/29/2008
Status: offline

Honey, if something so simple makes Her happy, what's the harm? Your name is still pronounced the same way, whether it's upper or lower case letters. Shh- it's all in your head ! Buck up. It's your job as a submissive to SUBMIT ! It hurts less than nipple clamps.

_____________________________

>^._.^< jen

princessj on cm

(in reply to Andjew)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Written Protocol in a D/S Relationship - 4/21/2008 9:54:47 PM

slaveboyforyou

Posts: 3607
Joined: 1/6/2005
From: Arkansas, U.S.A.
Status: offline

I never could do the written capitalization thing, and there are certain titles I can't call someone without laughing. But I am a cynical, sarcastic smartass. It's why I won't date dommes that aren't equally as sarcastic and cynical as I am. I love protocols, but some of them are just silly to me. I can't do them with a straight face. To each their own.

< Message edited by slaveboyforyou -- 4/21/2008 9:57:02 PM >

(in reply to Slave2Bob)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: Written Protocol in a D/S Relationship - 4/21/2008 10:05:25 PM

Andjew

Posts: 39
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andjew

I fear that by following this protocol I am implying that Our relationship is not founded on duality and equality. The fundemental problem is that I do not understand the implication of decapitalizing my name. I capitalize Hers as a sign of respect, my logic is that doing the opposite implies disrespect.

I have to admit that the bolded phrase above has Me confused. Perhaps I am misinterpreting it? D/s or M/s relationships are most definitely founded on duality. However, I do not feel, for Me, they are founded on equality.
The inequality is the duality, and therin lies the thrill of it. It is what makes it not vanilla, or not mainstream.
I am not one who drops into and out of roles. But some do as you can see from the responses on these threads. If you are My slave, you are My slave. You are not My equal friend sometimes with different relationship rules and My slave with protocols at other times. But that is just Me.
Written assignments referring to yourself in a lower case and Her in an upper case simply serves to keep you in constant mind of that duality and how it plays out in your agreed upon relationship. It has nothing to do with disrespect.

I am not a slave to Her. I am an equal in the sense that I am as nessacary to the relationship as She is. She certainly controls me and holds power over me, I've submitted myself to Her in that manner. I have not offered myself to Her as anything other than a submissive. She values my input in the relationship, and demands I research topics of interest, such as this one.

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: Written Protocol in a D/S Relationship - 4/21/2008 10:09:59 PM

Andjew

Posts: 39
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaamJay

To chime in, I would agree with those here that use this protocol as to the reasons. As a Domme, I ask it of My subs to remind them of their place (but NOT indicative of any lack of respect on My part). It is a conscious device, a reprogramming of thought patterns, something deceptively simple but effective. As a sub to Master i am happy to use it (in my journal for eg) ... and i use it here in the forums so the good souls here might know whether it's Jay (My Domme side) or violet (my sub side) who is "speaking".

While I applaud a new sub who thinks about things and doesn't accept things blindly ... you do need to think about whether your submission is, as Lady Hathor said, only on your terms. That might be acceptable to a point when new ... but you need to understand that ultimately you should be prepared to do things you don't LIKE but which you accept won't HARM you. BDSM is about CHALLENGE ... to your thinking, your habits, your body ... if it's too easy ... what's the point?

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

Absolutely. I am still at a point where I have the luxury and privilage to make minor request and discuss my feelings on certain matters. When I offer Her total submission, I will be prepared to accept Her orders without question.

(in reply to MaamJay)

Profile

Post #: 29