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julietsierra -> RE: Dr. Laura Schlessinger --- Lifstyler?? (4/22/2008 6:04:06 PM)
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Dr Laura's only ever said one thing I agreed with and with that one thing, I think she was right on the money.
She was talking about divorced couples who live far apart from each other. She said that all the money in the world wouldn't make a bit of difference to the family members who were left behind when their dad or mom left them to pursue money far away. She said that the only thing that the family members really cared about, and the only thing that really mattered was being near enough to each other so even if the family was divorced, they could have the benefit of two parents as much as possible.
When I was married, we lived in Texas. When we got divorced, my ex moved to Chicago - a LONG way away from his dependents. To get them closer, I moved back home to Michigan. I tried to move to Chicago, but the cost of housing there was out of my range. To live there, my family members wouldn't have been able to get the services they needed. I put them at least within 5 hours of their father vs the 24 hours they would have been if we'd stayed in Texas. They had all their relatives on both sides of the family to help out, but it was never like having their dad available to them. Then about a year into the divorce, my ex contacted me. He'd given up his VERY lucrative job in Chicago in order to move back to the Detroit area so that he could be near them. He gave up everything in order to be nearer to them. We tossed out the details of the divorce decree and I made sure they saw him every single weekend. The change in them has been extraordinary.
It was one of my ex's finest moments as a father when he put his family members before the money he could have made. He's missed his old job from time to time, but he's never regretted moving to where he could be a father on a more than just every other weekend basis.
His choice to give up the bucks enabled him to attend parent teacher conferences, football games, christmas pagaents, and the lot. He'd have never gotten that chance if he'd stayed in Chicago. And his family members would have been the ones to have really lost out.
And on that ONE point, Dr Laura was dead on. Family members need their family members, not money. I see the difference every single day and so do they. I've heard them more than once thank their father for moving closer to them. They've thanked me more than once for letting them ignore the every other weekend rule so that they could see him as often as they liked. And I seriously believe that they've turned into better adults than they might have otherwise done if he'd have put money over them when he prioritized his life.
juliet
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