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New Sub with question - 4/21/2008 8:33:16 PM   
shahla00


Posts: 96
Joined: 4/18/2008
Status: offline 		What are doms really looking for in a sub? What do you feel the role of a sub should be.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: New Sub with question - 4/21/2008 8:39:07 PM   
respectyourowner


Posts: 122
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline 		You should listen and do what you are told.


quote:

ORIGINAL: shahla00

What are doms really looking for in a sub? What do you feel the role of a sub should be.

(in reply to shahla00)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: New Sub with question - 4/21/2008 8:41:09 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shahla00

What are doms really looking for in a sub? What do you feel the role of a sub should be.

I am looking for obedience, loyalty and trustworthiness. I am also looking for a relationship, a personality and things in common. Most of all, I am looking for someone I can respect and love, someone I want to spend time with in and out of our lifestyle interactions, and someone I can be proud to call mine.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to shahla00)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: New Sub with question - 4/21/2008 8:47:42 PM   
WhiteFox77


Posts: 66
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline 		A fulfilling relationship.  Since what that means is different for everyone single person on the plannet, there is no good answer.

The three things (beyond a "nomral" relationship) that I look for in a sub it to:
A) Do what you are told to do.
B) Do what you know you are supposed to do even if not specifically directed.
C) Enjoying doing A & B most of the time.


_____________________________

Sincerely
WhiteFox77
Learn more about us at http://SexySubmissive.RedFoxDen.net

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: New Sub with question - 4/21/2008 8:54:59 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shahla00
What are doms really looking for in a sub?

A) anything and everything
B) it doesn't matter what "doms" are looking for, it matters what relationship dynamic and make up works best for you

quote:

What do you feel the role of a sub should be.

Whatever works for the people involved.

Sorry- I understand you want to be given answers and fit in and live within the confines of what the world tells you is good and cool, but there's none to be found.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to shahla00)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: New Sub with question - 4/21/2008 8:56:42 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		We're all different but here are a few things that I expect from my sub.

1. Loyalty

2. Love/devotion

3. A kinky mindset and a desire to fuck every chance we get.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to shahla00)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: New Sub with question - 4/21/2008 9:32:13 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Honesty and obedience.  Most people aren't capable of both.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: New Sub with question - 4/21/2008 9:39:33 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shahla00

What are doms really looking for in a sub? What do you feel the role of a sub should be.



Dunno Ill let ya know once I get my dom badge from my cracker jack box.

BadOne


_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to shahla00)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: New Sub with question - 4/21/2008 9:56:37 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		There are a lot of stereotypes in the lifestyle.  If you google “BDSM stereotypes” you can get a preview of how the different types fittogether and what they expect. 

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: New Sub with question - 4/22/2008 3:46:43 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Mine looks for emotional transparency, not obedience or service.
What do you need a dom to look for? What drives you?

Answer those questions and then find someone compatible.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: New Sub with question - 4/22/2008 3:51:59 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
What do you need a dom to look for? What drives you?

Answer those questions and then find someone compatible.


OK I am about to fall over from shock because I found a desFIP post which I agree 100% with.

There are many many subs/slaves out there that fit their respective lables but wouldn't be compatable with Me in the slightest. People are not cookie-cutters, it doesn't matter what generic qualitys get listed, it is about compatability. If you try to be something you are not then you are heading for a world of disapointment... so is anyone you get involved with.

Look at what you are and look for Someone compatable... whatever the lable.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: New Sub with question - 4/22/2008 6:10:22 AM   
SirKaton


Posts: 104
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		Patience, obedience, trustworthiness, honesty and loyalty.  For starters.   These are basics, but what specifics really are defined by your Dom/Domme and their requirements for your submission to them.

< Message edited by SirKaton -- 4/22/2008 6:12:14 AM >

_____________________________

....before me there was none; after me there shall be no more...

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: New Sub with question - 4/22/2008 6:17:27 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shahla00

What are doms really looking for in a sub? What do you feel the role of a sub should be.


You are getting a lot of good answers, but the thing to keep in mind is that what keeps a relationship going is shared goals.  What YOU want is also very important.  You need to find a dominant whose needs complement your own. 

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to shahla00)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: New Sub with question - 4/22/2008 6:29:28 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Doms want subs to be fashion models, topless dancers with nice boobs, they should come with their own set of knee  pads. They should have a lot of  money. They should have lots of beautiful friends to fix their Dom up with. To all of you people reading this. Stay out of my dream.

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: New Sub with question - 4/22/2008 6:42:14 AM   
willowspirit


Posts: 164
Joined: 6/20/2005
From: U.S.A.-Minnesota
Status: offline 		Know yourself first. Don't fool yourself. Value yourself and find your worth.
Decide if you just like to bottom ocassionally, which is fine.
Figure out if you are really submissive in personality, or not. Is "submissive" a role you take on to get off and get the kink you desire?
What kind of relationship do you want? Casual play partners, or do you want to be in a committed and dedicated relationship? Why? 

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: New Sub with question - 4/22/2008 8:39:43 AM   
Daddyslilpookie


Posts: 498
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: OC, California
Status: offline 		My Daddy expects obedience, honesty, love, the list goes on. What matters is what your Dom expects and what works for you as a couple. what works for one Dom may not necessarily work for another, you have to find out what they are into and what they expect of you.

_____________________________

Princess Andie


"A Woman Loves Only Her Master"

(in reply to shahla00)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: New Sub with question - 4/22/2008 8:49:39 AM   
Floggings4You


Posts: 240
Joined: 12/18/2006
Status: offline 		This is what I wanted, before I met My sub.  In her, I found all this, and much more:
 
First, I wanted to find a sub with compatible kinks.  There was no point starting out with the two of U/us being frustrated and/or disappointed.  Also, part of My kinkyness is the desire to explore, to push limits, and to keep experimenting with new styles of play.  I wanted someone who would join Me as I continually look for new ways to bring pleasure to Myself and to her.
 
Second, I wanted someone with some availability.  Even though I'm married, I am able to commit to getting together with My sub two or three times a week (which I believe is more time than many single Doms are willing to offer!)
 
Third, I really wanted a relationship, rather than just NSA kinky sex.  I wanted someone who wouldn't mind going out to dinner occasionally, or catching a movie, or listening to a local band.  I didn't want to (and don't) control every aspect of My sub's life, but I did want to be a part of her life, moreso than just a kinky fuck-buddy.  Of course, relationships require trust, honesty, and communication. 

(in reply to Daddyslilpookie)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: New Sub with question - 4/22/2008 8:50:55 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shahla00

What are doms really looking for in a sub? What do you feel the role of a sub should be.


You might as well ask "what are men really looking for in a woman?" or, "what are women really looking for in a man?"  Five thousand different people, 5000 different responses.  And none of it matters except, "does this person fit what I want/need/desire?"

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to shahla00)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: New Sub with question - 4/22/2008 12:47:02 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		a) that she doesn't ask stupid questions
b) that she puts the subject of her question in the subject line, understanding that that is what subject lines are actually for

(in reply to shahla00)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: New Sub with question - 4/25/2008 8:12:57 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline
Ok, think about this
What Doms are looking for from a sub?
The better question is:
Just what are you looking for in a Dom, or
IN any Male for that Matter?
To me this is a meeting of the minds followed by
anything else we want it to be!
So what is a regular guy looking for from a gurl?
honesty,caring,loving,deligent,delightful,funny,sexy baby,
and the list goes on and on
The simple truth is We all look for the match that makes
our soul sing back to their soul
 

(in reply to antipode)
Profile   Post #: 20
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