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Do I fit in? - 4/21/2008 9:23:00 PM

clmcol

Posts: 3
Joined: 4/15/2008
Status: offline

I'm a submissive male with a visual imparment. Do I fit in to be pursued by a Domme or does my impairment scare them away? I have been looking for a Domme for a very long time. Not just on here, since I have only just signed up on this site not too long ago, but I have been pursuing a woman on other sites as well. Yes I know if I had a pic in my profile I may have better chances, I'm just not ready to post a pic in the my profile just yet. I am however willing to send one to a prospective Domme.

Post #: 1

RE: Do I fit in? - 4/21/2008 9:31:34 PM

midgetmafiosa

Posts: 195
Joined: 3/23/2008
From: Maine, and SLC, UT
Status: offline

given that many dommes like to blindfold their subs during scenes, i would not expect your impairment to deter all women. i think it's just a matter of what it always comes down to: personal compatibility. your most compatible domme will likely be someone who can accept and work with your vision in creative ways!

(in reply to clmcol)

Post #: 2

RE: Do I fit in? - 4/21/2008 9:41:24 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

I knew a blind male sub that had no problem interesting Dommes.
----------------------------------

A blind submissive story:
My friend came to town to visit for a few days and I took him and his leader dog to my local tack shop. He went crazy when he saw the low prices of the clips, D rings, leather straps etc. So he set this huge pile of stuff down to cash out and says “I’m making a new harness for my dog”. The clerk looks at his T-shirt and cracks up saying “sure you are” …he didn’t know he was wearing a BDSM Bash T-shirt that said, “Got Toys”.

_____________________________

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I give good thread.

(in reply to midgetmafiosa)

Post #: 3

RE: Do I fit in? - 4/21/2008 9:43:29 PM

theGuideGoddess

Posts: 135
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline

Sometimes, in life, we set our own limitations. If you think you can, chances are you will. If you think you can't, you are probably right and you won't. Why do you think this impairment would devalue so much as to make you unattractive? Perhaps you should search what is your gift rather than focusing on what is your impairment. I am certain that there is at least one perfect match for everyone.....some where out there.

The Guiding Goddess

(in reply to midgetmafiosa)

Post #: 4

RE: Do I fit in? - 4/21/2008 9:43:47 PM

Poetryinpain

Posts: 341
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline

As a disabled person myself, I feel qualified to offer you some advice on this.

Don't let the disability define you. You are you - the impairment is a part of who you are, but it is not the whole of you. Present the best part of you - your abilities, your personality, your desire to be of service, whatever you think a Domme would most like to see in a sub. Once you make contact and establish that you have some common ground, you can then mention that your visual impairment exists.

It's kind of like looking for employment when you have a disability. You have to disclose it, but you need to choose the appropriate time to do so.

I might suggest, though, padding the profile a bit. You've pared down to the barest of essentials - a little more detail might be more attractive?

pip, best of luck in your search!

< Message edited by Poetryinpain -- 4/21/2008 9:47:45 PM >

_____________________________

There is none so blind as he who will not see.

(in reply to midgetmafiosa)

Post #: 5

RE: Do I fit in? - 4/21/2008 9:52:19 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

A blind or visual impaired submissive does not scare me. Infact, I'm intrigued by that extra amount of trust he/she is putting into that relationship. I also like the idea of never having to fool with blind folds again. Even the good brands tend to let in a peep hole or some light over time now and then.

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I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to clmcol)

Post #: 6

RE: Do I fit in? - 4/21/2008 9:57:53 PM

UncleNasty

Posts: 1108
Joined: 3/20/2004
Status: offline

None of us is perfect. Period. Sometimes our flaws can be our most endearing characterisitcs. And sometimes we spend a lot of time obsessed with hiding them (but don't tell anybody I said that).

There is someone out there that is perfect for you.

Uncle Nasty

(in reply to Poetryinpain)

Post #: 7

RE: Do I fit in? - 4/21/2008 10:11:40 PM

clmcol

Posts: 3
Joined: 4/15/2008
Status: offline

I want to thank all of you so far that have replied. Your advice and encouragement does help. I'm glad their are people like yourselves in this lifestyle. I have also updated my profile in hopes that this will help some as well.

< Message edited by clmcol -- 4/21/2008 10:43:52 PM >

(in reply to UncleNasty)

Post #: 8

RE: Do I fit in? - 4/21/2008 10:48:59 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Do you find that it chases away vanilla women when you date? If so, it's likely that the trend would continue here. It's really going to depend on the person, what they're looking for and what you have to offer.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to clmcol)

Post #: 9

RE: Do I fit in? - 4/22/2008 12:11:47 AM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

Your profile is pretty barren. Read the link in my signature on how to find a girl here; it's long, detailed, and can go a long way towards making your search easier.

Good luck,

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 10

RE: Do I fit in? - 4/22/2008 3:28:24 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

People are people... whether they are Dom/me or sub they are still people... so for some, yes the visual restriction may well put them off.... others it won't. The only way to find out whether a particular person does or doesn't have a problem with it is to ask.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to clmcol)

Post #: 11

RE: Do I fit in? - 4/22/2008 3:29:47 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Poetryinpain
Don't let the disability define you. You are you - the impairment is a part of who you are, but it is not the whole of you. Present the best part of you - your abilities, your personality, your desire to be of service, whatever you think a Domme would most like to see in a sub. Once you make contact and establish that you have some common ground, you can then mention that your visual impairment exists.

EXCELLENT advice!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Poetryinpain)

Post #: 12

RE: Do I fit in? - 4/22/2008 5:08:03 AM

HalloweenWhite

Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

Hi. I'm a Dominant in a wheelchair and I've met a fair few of submissives with disabilities as well, also, I've met or spoken to Dommes/Doms. with different impairments. You'll fit in just fine, just remember that people in the lifestyle are just that-people so some may be put off by your disability but that -doesn't- mean everyone else will, cos they wont!.

Have fun and take your time to find the right one for you.

(in reply to clmcol)

Post #: 13

RE: Do I fit in? - 4/22/2008 7:02:44 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: clmcol

I'm a submissive male with a visual imparment. Do I fit in to be pursued by a Domme or does my impairment scare them away? I have been looking for a Domme for a very long time. Not just on here, since I have only just signed up on this site not too long ago, but I have been pursuing a woman on other sites as well. Yes I know if I had a pic in my profile I may have better chances, I'm just not ready to post a pic in the my profile just yet. I am however willing to send one to a prospective Domme.

To be honest? You'd think age, ethnicity and gender issues were an impairment the way those preoccupy so many......

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 4/22/2008 7:03:05 AM >

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to clmcol)

Post #: 14

RE: Do I fit in? - 4/22/2008 7:46:15 AM

lateralist1

Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

I think it all depends what you are looking for from the relationship.
If it's just to scene then I can't see a problem.
If your looking for TPE then it could be more of a problem bacause you are going to be more of a responsibility for a Domme.
However I believe that the type of relationship can change as the connection grows.
Just keep it honest and don't be afraid to emphasise how much you are capable of when talking to someone. Some people have some very strange ideas about how disability affects people.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 15

RE: Do I fit in? - 4/22/2008 9:14:48 AM

gothicbisub

Posts: 15
Joined: 5/20/2004
Status: offline

I can relate to your concept of "fitting in", but not from a disabilitly; though I have one. One small piece of advice I can offer, once I stopped thinking/worrying if I fit in and just went with the flow, many doors opened. I think the doors were not opening for me because I was concered with fitting in and not being myself and waiting for the person to come along, whom will accept me as I am. Best of luck to you.

_____________________________

A man never stands as tall, as when he is kneeling at the feet of his Goddess

(in reply to clmcol)

Post #: 16

RE: Do I fit in? - 4/22/2008 10:52:30 AM

chaosforge

Posts: 397
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: The Abyss
Status: offline

my little opinion would be; anyone looking for a "perfect" body hasn't figured out the bounderies between fantasy and reality.

the BDSM commune has all sorts of folk, fitting in will only be an issue if someone tried something illeagle.

just me- just phoenix

_____________________________

Chaosforge
All begins in chaos and all will end in chaos.
I am that which has always been and will always be.
CHAOS !!!

I am Legion, for we are many.

(in reply to gothicbisub)

Post #: 17

RE: Do I fit in? - 4/22/2008 10:59:37 AM

LilMissHaven

Posts: 734
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline

I didn't know I had to be perfect to make the "right" Master a good submissive.

Pretty screwed...considering I'm deaf.

I'm not making fun of you just the petty asses who don't deserve you or the potential you have within yourself to give to another being.

but then what do I know

_____________________________

I must first learn to master myself, before I can truly be owned by one.

(in reply to chaosforge)

Post #: 18

RE: Do I fit in? - 4/22/2008 11:08:05 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

Dude have you checked out most of the dommes out here? Trust me, your blindness is a gift.

(No dommes were harmed in the making of this post...To aid in comforting the dommes on this site, and to keep Mod11 off of my ass... feel free to substitute domme for sub, Dom, switch or whatever floats your crap. However, we at Domiguy industries have been doing some extensive research to understand why the majority of the gash gobbling chicks on this site are so damn motherfucking hot)

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(in reply to clmcol)

Post #: 19

RE: Do I fit in? - 4/22/2008 12:08:04 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

DG, that is the best laugh I have had so far this week!

Edited to add........

I don't understand why anyone would think differently about a blind sub/slave. We all have our little quirks and differences. Some just seem to have bigger squick levels for different people.

Find someone that looks at it from a different point of view. Like DG said, sometimes a lack of sight might be a blessing. I have certainly had mornings I wish I could not see myself in the mirror, let alone someone else have to look. Similarly a lack of hearing, she would never cringe at my offkey singing and beg me to stop. Double amputee of the legs....no kneeling required. Etc etc etc........

Not everyone out here is looking for the negative stuff.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 4/22/2008 12:13:04 PM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 20

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