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RE: what does He want? - 4/23/2008 5:19:26 AM

RavenMuse

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My girl is not a mindless drone (If she was a mindless drone she wouldn't be what I look for in a girl and wouldn't be here), she has thoughts and opinions of her own, she gives in-put into the relationship in many ways. We have a laugh and a joke, she can be a cheeky little minx.

But neither is she a brat, the cheeky banter never strays into disrespect, she is no smart-mouthed kid. Her behaviour is excellent, I am proud to Own My good girl (That behaviour is something I can rely on and trust in whether I am right there or not).

Even if she disagrees with something, Once I have make a decision it is stuck to and she gives 100% to ensuring it is done and done correctly.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to urlittleprincess)

Post #: 21

RE: what does He want? - 4/23/2008 8:10:21 AM

Poetryinpain

Posts: 341
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Munkee07

I was reading the post with Sir and he said that Sweetie Pie and FlamingRed Head hit the nail on the head i now have more of an understanding of what is expected of me.I have to realize when its to far and not appropriate. thank you all for your posts and all your help.

This is very encouraging - that you two are discussing the issue and have begun to come to a mutual understanding. That's what building a relationship is all about.

pip, very happy for your progress

_____________________________

There is none so blind as he who will not see.

(in reply to Munkee07)

Post #: 22

RE: what does He want? - 4/23/2008 8:51:45 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Op the bottom line is to quit acting like a smartass. See people was that hard to say.

(in reply to urlittleprincess)

Post #: 23

RE: what does He want? - 4/23/2008 11:06:19 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

He's telling you don't be a doormat because he thinks he's supposed to say that. But if everytime you question him you're shut down, then his actions and his words don't agree. In such a case, believe actions.

There are bosses like that, claim their door is always open but woe betide you if you actually believe they're available to assist.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to urlittleprincess)

Post #: 24

RE: what does He want? - 4/23/2008 1:28:24 PM

Munkee07

Posts: 19
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline

he says that i have those two extremes that i am either be a doormat where he is able to walk all over me or im a smartass where he says he doesnt know if its me trying ot be funny or my defences raising. i believe alot of it has to do with the fact that i dont know the difference in being funny or it being disrespectful i grew up with brothers that are the king smartasses and well i just learned from them and i have to remember He is not my brother he is Sir. there is a point when it is to far.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 25

RE: what does He want? - 4/23/2008 8:43:34 PM

Sirsinini

Posts: 172
Joined: 11/13/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Munkee07
i believe alot of it has to do with the fact that i dont know the difference in being funny or it being disrespectful

This is very sad.

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The man who always seeks to be the best for you is
the only man truly worthy of being called Sir.

~~ Sir's devoted property
~~ whose profile is hidden on purpose

(in reply to Munkee07)

Post #: 26

RE: what does He want? - 4/23/2008 8:53:29 PM

Sirsinini

Posts: 172
Joined: 11/13/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sirsinini

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetiePie26

Bieng generally a constant smartass all the time I can see bieng very annoying. I am able to play with Master to a certain extent, but I do have to be mindful of taking it to far.

I work in an branch office of a national healthcare company.
Each office is generally small and includes staffing and homecare sides.
The homecare side generally has 6 employees and the staffing side only 3. So about 10 in all.
The accounts manager is 24 yrs old and a constant smart ass.
He has sufficiently allienated himself from everyone by this smartass behaviour. We need to get along and we do.
REALLY ANNOYING
No one respects this smart ass cause of this behaviour. We tolerate him.

He is able to engage in appropriate conversation at times to some extent. He is never mindful of what consequences his behaviour (THAT IS BEING A SMART ASS)has on others.

Well hot damn Im blonde tonight too....wtf does this have to do with the post answered or the thread either??? Well, unless.....do you call him dog?

Yup, blonde. But then I still dont understand how a dog fits this topic.

How does your question ... "do you call him dog?" fit in?

_____________________________

The man who always seeks to be the best for you is
the only man truly worthy of being called Sir.

~~ Sir's devoted property
~~ whose profile is hidden on purpose

(in reply to kc692)

Post #: 27

RE: what does He want? - 4/23/2008 9:08:20 PM

Poetryinpain

Posts: 341
Joined: 3/20/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sirsinini
Yup, blonde. But then I still dont understand how a dog fits this topic.

How does your question ... "do you call him dog?" fit in?

Just in case you are serious in your first question:

The OP said he told her he didn't want a dog - meaning someone who mindlessly followed orders without questioning.

And in case you weren't being serious:

Never mind.

pip, maybe not as helpful as Cali, but trying

_____________________________

There is none so blind as he who will not see.

(in reply to Sirsinini)

Post #: 28

RE: what does He want? - 4/24/2008 4:23:28 AM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
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Trying to figure out how an analogy from a vanilla work situation about an accounts manager who nobody likes becausxe he is a smartass, has anything to do with this post(even after your highlights, as the poster was talking in regards to her relationship with her master, which I am assuming the accounts manager is not yours, but an equal). The only way that I saw that it could possibly have ANYTHING to do with this post is if maybe his nickname was dog.....otherwise, there was no way it fit the situation.

< Message edited by kc692 -- 4/24/2008 4:24:39 AM >

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to Sirsinini)

Post #: 29

RE: what does He want? - 4/24/2008 6:37:44 AM

cantilena

Posts: 224
Joined: 8/6/2007
Status: offline

There is, of course, a point when coversation can become disrespectful. If this is the behavior you're talking about, then please disregard the rest of this.

BUT... I'd suggest trying to really think it through. From your later post, I take it that the comments you make are meant as humor when you say them. Maybe they aren't coming off as humor, but I'm guessing that's the intent.

What I'm not very successfully getting at is this: If this is your sense of humor, you may find it helpful to evaluate if you can change it, and even if so, if you'd be happy doing so. If your sense of humor is ingrained in who you are, will it become difficult to change that over the long term? Only you can decide.

Good wishes to you.

(in reply to kc692)

Post #: 30

RE: what does He want? - 4/24/2008 9:59:11 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Munkee07

he says that i have those two extremes that i am either be a doormat where he is able to walk all over me or im a smartass where he says he doesnt know if its me trying ot be funny or my defences raising. i believe alot of it has to do with the fact that i dont know the difference in being funny or it being disrespectful i grew up with brothers that are the king smartasses and well i just learned from them and i have to remember He is not my brother he is Sir. there is a point when it is to far.

Wasn't sarcasm and pointed wit the way you were when you met him? If so, why did he continue to see someone he didn't like? Or why did he like it while you were dating but suddenly changed to dislike it once you were collared?

My point is that he knew who you were and the style of conversation you are most comfortable with. Did he say to you upfront that if you accept his collar you would have to learn to change your speech patterns, that you would never again be able to speak freely and comfortably with him? If not, then why not? Why the bait and switch of "I like you just the way you are, now change completely".

If he had told you upfront that everytime you spoke to him naturally you would be punished, would you have accepted him or would you have looked for someone more compatible?

And btw, if you feel unsafe emotionally and need to put up your defenses, then punishing you for feeling unsafe will not teach you to feel safe, it will teach you to feel more strongly that he is not a safe person to talk openly with. That instead you will have to barely have any communication with him in order to protect yourself. Is that really the kind of relationship he wants? Because if so, then when you go only yes sir and no sir in a doglike manner, why does he punish you for responding to him in what he's taught you is the only safe way you can respond.

You're punished for being you and you're punished for trying to not be you. Are you happy like this?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Munkee07)

Post #: 31

RE: what does He want? - 4/24/2008 10:18:19 AM

pettingdragons

Posts: 421
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline

Can i borow that line?

**about calling Master a dog** LOL

pamela
**Master Dragon's consiered slave**

(in reply to Sirsinini)

Post #: 32

RE: what does He want? - 4/24/2008 2:02:04 PM

cantilena

Posts: 224
Joined: 8/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Munkee07

he says that i have those two extremes that i am either be a doormat where he is able to walk all over me or im a smartass where he says he doesnt know if its me trying ot be funny or my defences raising. i believe alot of it has to do with the fact that i dont know the difference in being funny or it being disrespectful i grew up with brothers that are the king smartasses and well i just learned from them and i have to remember He is not my brother he is Sir. there is a point when it is to far.

Wasn't sarcasm and pointed wit the way you were when you met him? If so, why did he continue to see someone he didn't like? Or why did he like it while you were dating but suddenly changed to dislike it once you were collared?

My point is that he knew who you were and the style of conversation you are most comfortable with. Did he say to you upfront that if you accept his collar you would have to learn to change your speech patterns, that you would never again be able to speak freely and comfortably with him? If not, then why not? Why the bait and switch of "I like you just the way you are, now change completely".

If he had told you upfront that everytime you spoke to him naturally you would be punished, would you have accepted him or would you have looked for someone more compatible?

And btw, if you feel unsafe emotionally and need to put up your defenses, then punishing you for feeling unsafe will not teach you to feel safe, it will teach you to feel more strongly that he is not a safe person to talk openly with. That instead you will have to barely have any communication with him in order to protect yourself. Is that really the kind of relationship he wants? Because if so, then when you go only yes sir and no sir in a doglike manner, why does he punish you for responding to him in what he's taught you is the only safe way you can respond.

You're punished for being you and you're punished for trying to not be you. Are you happy like this?

Celeste, this is what I was getting at as well. You said it far better than I could ever do! Thanks for that.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 33

RE: what does He want? - 4/24/2008 11:03:45 PM

girlygurl

Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline

I don't get the dog thing...

Anyway..... I for one don't find humor in smart ass people. I find them for the most part disrespectful especially when it comes to a s-type communicating with a D-type.... nope, not appropriate in my opinion. I'll occasionally be silly and playful with Sir but I'm fortunate to know where the line is and I DO NOT cross it.

girly

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i see You

happily forever one

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Post #: 34

RE: what does He want? - 4/24/2008 11:06:38 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Atomic Dog
Parliament

Who Let the Dogs Out?
Baha Men

How Much is that doggie in the window?
Pattie Page....

Think about it, you got time.

on

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to girlygurl)

Post #: 35

RE: what does He want? - 4/25/2008 3:34:23 AM

TysGalilah

Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline

.....the one with the wagglin' tail....
how much is that doggie in the window?, I do hope that doggy's for sale....

...I must take a trip to california...and leave my poor sweetheart alone..................a doggy would be someone to protect him..and love him until I get home.........
arf arf

OK...I can't seem to recall what I had for dinner last night, Miss menopausalmemorymangledmoodymysteriouslymissingmind, that I feel like of late.......
but I CAN remember the lines to that lyric archive sitting at the back of my brain, somehow??

hrumpf.

_____________________________

galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 36

RE: what does He want? - 4/25/2008 10:57:03 PM

girlygurl

Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Atomic Dog
Parliament

Who Let the Dogs Out?
Baha Men

How Much is that doggie in the window?
Pattie Page....

Think about it, you got time.

on

LOL Ron, I got it, I just didn't like it hee hee. I don't believe an s-type should be a smartass, but she sure as hell shouldn't be brain dead either.

There is such a thing as playful banter, but one needs to know when to stop, or not cross the line. But I don't need to tell you this Mr. Ron, I know better, any s type disrespectful to you would be out on her arse.

girly

_____________________________

i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 37

RE: what does He want? - 4/26/2008 12:15:09 AM

Munkee07

Posts: 19
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline

HI again, Thank You all again for all you comments.Sir would like to say something..

Hello all, let me start by Thanking all those that have taken this post seriously and offered true advice and opinions, in an effort to help her. Ok now for those have made nothing but a joke and mockery of the post. I can only shake my head and wonder why when someone asks for help they feel the need to add their 2 cents when it does not have to do with the question or problem at hand. Now with that out the way some people seem to be confused by the dog statement, and I believe many replies to the post have answered what it means but I will clairfy it eventually. I first need to give alot of background to our particular situation as I believe as I answer some questions other question and misunderstandings will arise. Some of this is covered in her profile and for those of you that know some of this bare with me.

First thing that needs to be said is we are just two of a 3 person realtionship. My wife is Dombifemtn on here I do not have a profile so we will call me Sir Corruption and Munkee07. Munkee was friends with us for about 6 months b4 coming to live with us when she left her husband. The realtionship actually started with my wife and munkee then shortly evolved to include me also. Now my wife and I were swingers and she was exploring the BDSM lifestyle b4 a relationship started with munkee. In a short time after she was living with us she begin researching the BDSM lifestyle on her own knowing it was something we were interested and wanted to learn more about. She then became interested in it herself and approached us in wanting to try it and explore it more. I know she is very submissive in nature but also know she has been taken advantage of b4 and have built walls around her to keep from getting hurt. I know she can withdraw sometimes rather then hurt someone elses feelings. My wife and I expressed these concerns and some others to her but told her that if she really wanted to learn we would be willing to try it really slow and see where it goes. A few months have passed now and have been slowly easing her into the lifestyle. But she is not collared and do not see it happening very soon

Ok now to answer questions I believe some of you are asking
What did I mean by I don't want a dog ?
Dog was refering to her closing herself off and not expressing her true feelings about something she was asked or asked to do. I know in being her Master I have the control but I also have the responsibility to respect her and not abuse that control and make her do something she really doesn't want to do. At the stage we are at now we are still finding likes dislikes limits as she is brand new to this. So I need feedback from her not blind obeying and doing what I say only cause I want it not cause she wants to do it.
What did I mean about Smartass?
In this many times I feel it is a way of her trying to push me away and to run from a problem. Something I said or did that causes this then I want and need to know. She has done this b4 in other relationships and I don't want her to repeat that again. A relationship with two people takes a lot of work and communication 3 only means it is that much more important. So I feel she uses a smartass comment or tone to make me mad and push me away to hide another problem and this is not good for our relationship or for her. But her Bratty tendencies can become irritating at times but is one of the reasons that my wife and I both fell in love with her and would not want it to dissappear just the defenses so that the trust that is needed for this type of relationship can be established.

A final note we have been together almost a year now.
Thanks all for reading hope this help some of you better understand what was being asked and said again thank all those for your help and advice some of the posts help me find the words to better explain to her what I meant. Any further questions and comments are welcome

(in reply to girlygurl)

Post #: 38

RE: what does He want? - 4/26/2008 8:25:43 AM

Poetryinpain

Posts: 341
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline

Munkee and friends:

Thank you, Sir Corruption, for explaining what Munkee meant. You were very clear. Now that we know the dynamics and the situation, we can try more to help.

Munkee, closing yourself off when you are experiencing a strong emotion is not healthy. I know it is not the work of a moment to open your heart and soul to your partners, but it is something you can do if you start small. If your Sir gives you an order you don't like, instead of just blindly following the order and then acting sulky because you didn't like it, examine your own feelings. Try to figure out exactly why you didn't like it. Try writing down what you figure out. Then, if you feel uncomfortable talking to him about it, or if you fear you might say something too sassy, give him what you've written down. Then he can use that as a basis for a real conversation with you about that issue.

As you begin feeling easier about communicating your feelings, you and your partners will start seeing less tension. The fact that you all want to work this out goes a long way toward making it possible.

pip, wishing you all the best

_____________________________

There is none so blind as he who will not see.

(in reply to Munkee07)

Post #: 39

RE: what does He want? - 4/26/2008 11:35:36 AM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sirsinini

quote:

ORIGINAL: Munkee07
i believe alot of it has to do with the fact that i dont know the difference in being funny or it being disrespectful

This is very sad.

actually, its normal to me, given the fact that the OP was raised with smartass brothers. you're raised in that situation, you learn to fire back or get run over.

we're dealing with that kind of fallout here....whats smartass behavior from a 36 year old man is extremely disrespectful behavior from his 14 yr old boybeast. now, the trick is to have the kid learn to think before opening his mouth and getting into trouble.... very similar to how the OP needs to learn how her words are going to sound to her Sir.

kitten

(in reply to Sirsinini)

Post #: 40

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