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RE: Phone punishments?? - 10/16/2005 7:58:00 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		When it comes to the phone, If I don't see it, then I don't belive it. Pet and I talked on the phone for a month before we met each other. Now, after living together, she fessed up that she faked all the noises and moans she made over the phone.

But it wasn't that big of deal since I faked my noises to. So instead of phone sex, try web cam or send pics.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to bdsandm)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Phone punishments?? - 10/16/2005 8:13:45 AM   
krikket


Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Prunesquallor


Forgive me if I disagree with you strongly. I have online relationships with two female slaves, and while it can never be the same as a 'real life' relationship, nevertheless the emotions are just as real. And in the same way that trust is an important part of a 'real life' relationship it is even more vital in an online one. I know that if I give one of my slaves a task or a punishment, that task or punishment will be carried out.






Thanks for saying that. On-line relationships usually get short shift around here (and other forums) as they can't possibly be real, and i'm sure in many cases that may well be true. We(the generic we) are always saying how people are wired differently, and that while a certain activity isn't "my" kink that doesn't mean it can't be "your" kink. So many, it seems, dismiss this type of relationship without any experience and very little knowledge at all of how it works, the amount of trust it takes, and the honor that's at stake. I agree that it's absolutely second place compared to a touch to touch relationship, but sometimes (like military, health, oceans between them) that's all that available and it can be almost as good, until you can be together, as long as both work at it.

That being said, in my one LDR, my Master found several ways to punish me, LD, none of which i liked, but had because i'd somehow screwed up. (He also was saving up any physical punishments until we could be together again, and i do believe my imagination was more punishment than anything..lol.) He tried not letting me "be with him" on line, but found that it didn't allow for further instructions to me, further assistance if i needed it, and he considered that punishment for himself as well as for me, when he hadn't been the one who needed it. What he started doing was...limiting my time on the computer (i was a real computer whore when we met..lol), giving me a bedtime, journal writing, and the dreaded "report" writing. That last usually involved me reading some book he'd sent (i.e., the loving dominant..lol), and then i'd have to write a detailed report about what i had read, what relevance it had on my head, my heart, my life and on us, and it had a deadline that i knew better than to miss without a really good excuse -- like my death. lol!! He had been very active in his local community at one time, was listed as an attorney on the "Kink aware professionals" list that was on line at the time, and was extremely knowledgable about a lot of different things. i knew he'd read the books he "assigned", so there was no way i was gonna hedge around it. There were other things that he had me do as punishment that perhaps he would have never known if i did or not, but..i would have known, and my sense of honor wasn't going to let me lie to him. Somehow i suspect he would have known anyway..lol. IF i hadn't done as i was told, taken my punishments as intended, it would have simply meant the end of the relationship -- period. For that matter, if it had gotten to where our relationship was more punishment than anything else he would have ended it as well. We weren't together so he could punish me (except when he wanted..lol), we were together because we both wanted it, allowed us both to grow, and made our separation barable until we could get back together.

i'm sure there are lots of ways you can punish your sub, but perhaps looking for ways to reward her for something would be just as effective?

Good luck..

jimini


(in reply to Prunesquallor)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Phone punishments?? - 10/16/2005 8:43:24 AM   
Onknees5858


Posts: 45
Joined: 10/12/2005
Status: offline 		http://www.geocities.com/cedargmx/fow.htm

Install FOW and make her type good morale sentences....
You can also use pen and paper
(ok ,maybe its not the exact definition of a phone punishment!)

(in reply to krikket)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Phone punishments?? - 10/16/2005 10:29:58 AM   
foxglove716


Posts: 648
Joined: 7/4/2005
Status: offline 		personally, my favourite phone punishment involves the phone cord. *smile* I agree with Phoenxx, cutting off communication can be dangerous, in case of emergency or otherwise. Maybe making her stand on her head while talking to you on the phone, or with her mouth full of cotton balls, or prohibiting her from actually touching the phone, or allowing her to only talk to you while naked in front of a window, or only allowing her to talk without using the letter "s". Use your imagination!

(in reply to bdsandm)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Phone punishments?? - 10/16/2005 4:05:18 PM   
PatentLeatherMdm


Posts: 17
Joined: 8/26/2005
Status: offline 		I realize the Internet plays a role in all our lives, but hope that we not evolve to the point where our relationships are in cyber or over the phone!

Let her wait until you get home and can give her some in-person one-on-one correction. If she's gone by the time you get there then your real-time relationship was evidently not a strong one!

(in reply to bdsandm)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Phone punishments?? - 10/16/2005 5:43:09 PM   
Prunesquallor


Posts: 181
Joined: 10/12/2005
Status: offline 		Patent,

Unfortunately sometimes online relationships are necessary for geographical reasons.

OnKnees,

Thanks for the link - that is a *bad* program! :)

(in reply to PatentLeatherMdm)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Phone punishments?? - 10/17/2005 7:48:03 AM   
Phoenxx


Posts: 253
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Swift Current
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

When it comes to the phone, If I don't see it, then I don't belive it. Pet and I talked on the phone for a month before we met each other. Now, after living together, she fessed up that she faked all the noises and moans she made over the phone.

But it wasn't that big of deal since I faked my noises to. So instead of phone sex, try web cam or send pics.


I know there are many thing I do not see but that do exist.. Air, wind, gravity, honest politicians (ok well I hope they do somewhere) and people on the internet.
I understand that you are saying that you do not trust people that you haven’t met and that there are those that do fake what they claim to be doing. Funny thing.. I have heard that there are women that fake orgasms in real life too. Go figure….
My problem with that is, if you lie to me at the start of our relationship, what is to stop you from lying later? If you lie to me and fake what your doing on the phone, what happens when I’m not at home? Or when your out and about? Do the rules I have set not matter?
Once trust is lost, it’s a bitch to gain back. If I found out a girl I was with lied at the start of our relationship, would have to question the total foundation of the relationship.
Tony

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Phone punishments?? - 10/17/2005 3:57:39 PM   
TearCollector


Posts: 108
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		Ok... Im someone that the average lifestyler would call new to this. Although at some point Im going start rolling my eyes at the rookie comments. So I don’t feel any shame in asking a few questions or adding my input from my point of view.

Phone is the second phase in how we meet people in this lifestyle. Especially if we meet on a site like Collarme. So, it would seem like a good idea to be able to exercise the BDSM concept over the phone. John definitely is right though, People can be good actors. But, isn’t that true in person as well. ?

Id like to offer my thoughts this way. Id like to have some idea how to begin punishing a person over the phone if I thought it was required. But what I do know is that every submissive/slave is different; It’s really up to the Dom to figure out what is best under the circumstance. So I don’t know if a template can even be forged for phone punishment. Off the cuff seems to be the way it is now and maybe the way it will always be. Isn’t it the Doms roll to be creative? Isn’t the DOms reward for this creativity an endeared slave or servant?

I greatly treasure the idea of unconditional obedience. I will work at my own skills of enslavement to make certain I offer at least creative value in return. This will of coarse encompass phone dominance, in which I am still a rookie.

TearCollector

(in reply to Prunesquallor)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Phone punishments?? - 10/17/2005 4:05:57 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TearCollector
Isn’t it the Doms roll to be creative?

No, it's the doms role to be authoritative. Most doms aren't truly that creative. Ask how many ask their female subs to meet them with no panties, sheer top, black skirt, heels and thigh highs...there's a lot of "typical and stereotypical dominant behavior" out there for a reason.

quote:

Isn’t the DOms reward for this creativity an endeared slave or servant?

Not necessarily.

(in reply to TearCollector)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Phone punishments?? - 10/17/2005 4:08:47 PM   
ownedjulia


Posts: 218
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline 		Emeraldslave is right on there.

My Master can be creative at times but he is a typical man. He likes me in a mini skirt, high heels and low cut top.

Do I get rewarded for this?

No. It's what he expects.


_____________________________

~julia
owned slave and proud of it!

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Phone punishments?? - 10/17/2005 4:50:47 PM   
TearCollector


Posts: 108
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		Hence why I am still a rookie. LOLOL


I think Emerald is a lovely female but I dont always find myself agreeing with her. That doent mean Im certain Im right. It just means we look at things differantly.

However, I havent found anything "ownedjulia" has said that I didnt shake my head yes on. So, Ill call myslef wiser today for the imput about my post. Thanks

TearCollector

(in reply to ownedjulia)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Phone punishments?? - 10/18/2005 10:06:28 AM   
Bishop


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Maybe the question you should be asking yourself is "do I want to be in a relationship with a submissive that is repeatedly acting up to the point that I am running out of punishment ideas?". Or "is she screwing up because she really can't control herself or is she doing this in order to get punishment.....or is she doing this because I am failing her somehow?".

I would say that if she is your sub, then I would follow the protocols that were established from the beginging. Have her read or speak about the protocols. Although, the "phone thing" is hard to determine whether or not she has completed what you requests, being creative is at times hard. I have seen great ideas I would suggest listening to some and then add to your creative thoughts cause only you know your submissive. Perhaps she wants you to be creative? Communication in this aspect, is the key leave out grey areas of thoughts on her part.

Again, the earlier posts are some great ideas.

(in reply to TearCollector)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Phone punishments?? - 10/18/2005 4:22:35 PM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

just answering your question with one of my own...if you've been doing this for over 10 yrs...why are you even asking this question?

Fury


Ditto. That was my first thought when reading this drivel

Oh, and to the Original Op: A pic of you sucking down a beer does nothing but drop your stock as a seriuos Dom. In the picture you look about 25, so I'm wondering who you've been dominanting since you were 15.


Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to MstrHellsFury)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Phone punishments?? - 10/18/2005 5:17:00 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Slap her in the face with the reciever..........you been at it you should know..........(heloises helpful hint: listen for the proper thunk) if you don't hear it repeat.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Phone punishments?? - 10/19/2005 12:34:36 AM   
Phoenxx


Posts: 253
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Swift Current
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

No, it's the doms role to be authoritative. Most doms aren't truly that creative. Ask how many ask their female subs to meet them with no panties, sheer top, black skirt, heels and thigh highs...there's a lot of "typical and stereotypical dominant behavior" out there for a reason.


From what I have seen of the Dom's I know in real life.. many of them are very VERY creative. Yes, there are standards and tried and true methods. But things is ... it becomes tried and true BECAUSE it works...
In Winnipeg we are having a huge fetish event this weekend. And yes, there will be those there who will do the standard tie her/his to the spanking bench and wail on her/his ass with the flogger.
But there will also be those who use some clever toys. Home made ones, or even what we call deniables. Those little house hold item that look all innocent… but are not.
The new dungeon furniture was designed and made by Doms. I know because I was lucky enough to be recruited to help out with the making of them. And I have learnt a ton of new things. And added a few twists to toys I am making.. hehe … vampire gloves can be such fun.. and interesting to make… Oh, and yes, several of them are based on designs that have been around for years… but the word based is what you want to notice there…
We do tend to fall into patterns. I find a big part of that is because many submissive take comfort in knowing what is expected of them. Would you like it if the rules change at random? If the rituals are re-written without your knowledge?
Or would you prefer to know what we want and when we want it? With the occasional twist thrown in, just for spice? It’s a matter of knowing who you play with, and when and where to push them. Like a good flogging, you start a rhythm, get the person relaxed and moving to it.. and then switch the pattern. Or you keep going, knowing they take comfort from the routine.
Yes, not all Tops are creative. And not all bottoms like routines. But like tends to attract like.
Tony



< Message edited by Phoenxx -- 10/19/2005 12:35:33 AM >

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 35
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