Is it ever appropriate to beg for a Mistress to make you Hers? (Full Version)

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subdevon -> Is it ever appropriate to beg for a Mistress to make you Hers? (4/23/2008 10:14:11 PM)

i have served for a brief time under a Mistress and i did so when i was not in a fully submissive state of mind. i behaved badly and sabotaged the entire relationship which for me was my rock bottom and time to man up so to speak and either accept my submissiveness or live a lie the rest of my life. i have chosen to embrace it and live it to it's fullest so now, i feel that i would be a great sub for her. 



MistressFaye1 -> RE: Is it ever appropriate to beg for a Mistress to make you Hers? (4/23/2008 10:51:03 PM)

devon,

I'm sure most will say there really isn't enough information here to really comment. 

1.  Are you referring to the Mistress you mistreated when you say "beg"?
2.  How do you know you've embraced your submission?
3.  Have you talked to her and told her your feelings?

I could go on and on.  Personally, with the info given, it's hard to say in your case.

If she's willing to still be involved with you, at this point I'd say the best thing you can do is SHOW her more than beg her.  Your words, even if you're begging are mere words.  Actions speak much louder than words.

Ms. Faye



ShaktiSama -> RE: Is it ever appropriate to beg for a Mistress to make you Hers? (4/23/2008 11:37:10 PM)

I agree with Faye.  The answer to the question in  the thread's title is "Yes", it can be appropriate--whether it is in this case is unknown.  And no matter how you beg, there is no guarantee that she will be moved, especially if you're begging after having already mistreated her.  After having a bad experience with a man, some women are not eager for more contact, much less more intimacy and responsibility.

YMMV. 



chamberqueen -> RE: Is it ever appropriate to beg for a Mistress to make you Hers? (4/24/2008 4:20:11 AM)

A sincere apology and an explanation - not excuses - would definitely be in order if you wish the relationship to resume. 

Submission is not always a straight line but can feel like going two steps forward and one step back.  Each person will have their own background and fears which will influence them.  Trust also comes in various stages; both trust for your Dom/me and trust in yourself.  If She is experienced She may understand that you needed to grow.  If the relationship was seriously enough damaged it may be too late to pick things back up, but both of you will be better for the apology.





MistressVnus -> RE: Is it ever appropriate to beg for a Mistress to make you Hers? (4/24/2008 4:30:49 AM)

I think all have given good advice.  I like the "explanation" suggestion.  And here is why.....

If I were that Mistress you treated badly and you approached me again, I would want to make sure you understood "yourself" enough to move forward.  This can only be done with a thorough explanation of your own feelings and how they motivated your behaviours.  If a former petitioner approached me again under those conditions, I would probably be very happy that this "block" had been recognized and be willing to move forward with them.  And, then, I would probably request that you "beg" for another chance...*chuckle*

That said, as others have stated here, I am not that Mistress and I have no idea what you did.  So, whether or not this will apply to your situation, only you can determine.



MissLily -> RE: Is it ever appropriate to beg for a Mistress to make you Hers? (4/24/2008 4:36:22 AM)

I agree with the above. There's not enough info to comment....

Miss Lily



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Is it ever appropriate to beg for a Mistress to make you Hers? (4/24/2008 4:56:03 AM)

what everyone else said plus this - if i was the one you mistreated, you would have a difficult time receiving that 2nd chance with me. i may forgive however i don't forget ...ever. 

though you may have embraced your submission you have to take an account of her feelings when you behaved poorly.

good luck



chezzy71 -> RE: Is it ever appropriate to beg for a Mistress to make you Hers? (4/24/2008 4:59:53 AM)

I would agree with all the Dominas...pour your heart out and be sincere because if you aren't,she will see right through you and thus you may always be on the outside looking in.I wouldn't go anywhere near begging and my reason is she may also want to humiliate you to an extreme and dump you anyways.That is her right of course but the main issue here is sincerity and wanting to accept an attitude adjustment.



subdevon -> RE: Is it ever appropriate to beg for a Mistress to make you Hers? (4/24/2008 7:31:09 AM)

Thank all of You for Your advice and comments. i have done the explaining and apologizing and feel that She beleives that i am sincere and that the "block" has been removed but the subject of Her taking me back has never been broached. i have journaled  in some fashion every day and asked Her to read and critique my writings and She  has done so. i guess i will just continue to show Her how i have changed and see what happens. Again, thank all of Y/you for Y/your advice/comments. 



Dnomyar -> RE: Is it ever appropriate to beg for a Mistress to make you Hers? (4/24/2008 7:35:11 AM)

As samba put it she may forgive but will not FORGET. Move on and try someone else.



MladyHathor -> RE: Is it ever appropriate to beg for a Mistress to make you Hers? (4/24/2008 8:00:24 AM)

This whole begging to be Hers after one has screwed up, squeaks Me out--I agree that perhaps going back to explain and ask for reconsideration, ( and maybe its semantics)--but I have had boys beg that bordered on stalking--so ask for a conversation, explain--but if she says No, well that's No, learn and move on. IMHO
 



MistressNoName -> RE: Is it ever appropriate to beg for a Mistress to make you Hers? (4/24/2008 8:21:07 AM)

I agree with what others have said (with one exception). Most people can be very forgiving. But, there needs to be that clear explanation and evidence that you have truly learned from your mistake. Apologies often mean nothing to me without this. I agree with others who say, ask to be reconsidered, ask for talking time...but don't beg. At this juncture, the begging would sound insincere and annoying. As for whether she will give you another chance, who knows? But I'll tell ya, I have often hoped a couple of subs I've dealt with where better able to sift through their personal issues, or even acknowledge them, so that perhaps we could've moved on to something more meaningful. So, at the very least, perhaps she will appreciate a sincere attempt to make amends.

Best,

MNN



thetammyjo -> RE: Is it ever appropriate to beg for a Mistress to make you Hers? (4/24/2008 10:00:58 AM)

I think that begging someone you are in a relationship with to take things further could be very appropriate in a given dynamic.

I think that begging someone who has kicked you to the curb, to be brutal about it, is not a very good idea. In fact, I'd say it was foolish. Don't debase yourself in that way. Learn from the experience and apply what you're learned in the next dynamic.

I know you've all heard how many male subs there are out there but an excellent submissive, of either sex, is rare. It takes time, experiences, and learning from them to become rare. Take this one experience and starts learning but don't chase after what's been lost. As a human being you are better than that.



Pyrrsefanie -> RE: Is it ever appropriate to beg for a Mistress to make you Hers? (4/24/2008 10:31:59 AM)

I don't know about the Domme in question here, but once my trust in someone has been broken, it's pretty much gone for good.  Sure, I guess begging would be a great ego-trip for me... but in the end I'd probably still end up declining.

The fact that she's still willing to critique your writings and communicate with you indicates that she is, however, at least viewing you as a friend.  Personally I'd wait until the lines of communication had been re-established for a little bit longer and then broach the subject very simply -- apologize, don't give excuses, and ask if she would ever consider taking you back as a submissive.  Be prepared for her to say "no," and if she does, drop the subject.

Good luck, though... it's noble of you to realize that you were in the wrong and try to set things right again.



subdevon -> RE: Is it ever appropriate to beg for a Mistress to make you Hers? (4/24/2008 3:23:36 PM)

So maybe begging was the wrong word to choose. i am definitely not stalking so no restraining order would be necessary. Thank all of Y/you again for Your suggestions and advice. i had heard that collarme was a site full of weirdos and asses but i have found that most here are extremely forthcoming and helpful and Y/you people have proved just that.........for now.....



lateralist1 -> RE: Is it ever appropriate to beg for a Mistress to make you Hers? (4/24/2008 4:30:06 PM)

If she is still talking to you then I would think the door is still open.
If you have explained and apologised then just keep trying to build bridges with her.
Ask her out to her favourite place.
Just like with anyone else what have you got to lose?



MissEnchanted -> RE: Is it ever appropriate to beg for a Mistress to make you Hers? (4/25/2008 7:53:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

I think that begging someone you are in a relationship with to take things further could be very appropriate in a given dynamic.

I think that begging someone who has kicked you to the curb, to be brutal about it, is not a very good idea. In fact, I'd say it was foolish. Don't debase yourself in that way. Learn from the experience and apply what you're learned in the next dynamic.

I know you've all heard how many male subs there are out there but an excellent submissive, of either sex, is rare. It takes time, experiences, and learning from them to become rare. Take this one experience and starts learning but don't chase after what's been lost. As a human being you are better than that.


Tammy Jo states it well.

Good submissive Actions over time whether it is with her or someone else is the key to that heavenly place.

Knowing yourself and growing into your submissive nature within yourself first; then find someone who is patient enough to train you.

PLease let us know how you handled this and how she responded, ok?

 Best of luck,
ME



LadyJeelys -> RE: Is it ever appropriate to beg for a Mistress to make you Hers? (4/26/2008 4:33:42 AM)

I agree with the advice so far to be up front an honest....at the same time though, I am not certain that by allowing conversation to continue she is open to more. I've known guys who've crossed a line that meant I'd never consider them as a pet. But, that they were basically nice guys, so I was (am) happy to be friends with them. So, perhaps she's just been avoiding you hints. Which means I think you should just ask her (not beg, cause, ick, that'd be creepy.)



MsStarlett -> RE: Is it ever appropriate to beg for a Mistress to make you Hers? (4/26/2008 5:28:46 AM)

Begging can be fun to a point.  But generally "No means No" and being put on ignore is a BIG hint.



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Is it ever appropriate to beg for a Mistress to make you Hers? (4/26/2008 5:35:13 AM)

If you behaved badly, then asking to be hers again is going to sabotage the whole thing. You are talking to her again, and that is a step in the right direction. Let her lead, now. If she is impressed with the changes you ahve made in yourself, she may ask you back. If she is not, she wont. But if you ask her to take you back, she might question the sincerety of the changes you ahve made, whether they are real and actual changes or if they have been made simply to impress her into taking you again. If she decided the latter, shed have nothing ensuring you would remain changed after and might decline.
Personaly, I rarely do second chances unless someone leaves on good terms to find themselves. I dont believe that someone can change enough never to go back to bad behavior and mistreatment if it was there in the beginning. History makes for a really tough hurdle.

DV



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