Trust via email (Full Version)

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blondekitten -> Trust via email (4/23/2008 10:23:07 PM)

I am very new to this lifestyle...as in completely new...and have been corresponding with a dom in another city who wants me to commit to train with someone else that he chooses before he's willing to even meet me, talk to me on the phone, and so forth. He had some photos on the site, but has taken them down.  Am I a fool to be willing to engage with someone, no matter how amazing he seems under these circumstances? I don't want to question inappropriately, and am interested if he is who he says he is, but am hesitant to put so much trust into someone I meet only online. Am I wasting both of our time? Am I asking to get raped by a biker gang or worse? Am I a fool, or is this natural? I'm completely serious, and feel so out of my element, I don't even know what questions to ask. I just feel like this is a headline waiting to happen and don't want to be stupid. Help!



SirMIkeSD -> RE: Trust via email (4/23/2008 10:27:14 PM)

If you have not meet him and spent some time together in person, in real life why in the hell would you trust him enough to pick someone else to train you.

Mike



marieToo -> RE: Trust via email (4/23/2008 10:28:31 PM)

Sounds like some kind of scam. 



SteelofUtah -> RE: Trust via email (4/23/2008 10:50:11 PM)

Yeah this is something that needs a FOOT Put down and a LIMIT!!!!! Drawn around.

Self-Preservation is a HUMAN REQUIRMENT. What he is suggesting is just NOT worth the risk so do yourself a favor and say NO AGREEMENTS Site Un-Seen. and No Commitmets without a Dynamic in Place.

If he is serious he will understand and compramise or say he is unable to do so for whatever reason. If he is a Wanker he will try to tell you what you are doing makes you somehow UN-SLAVE-LIKE or you aren;t worth his DOMLY TIME.

Either way you saved yourself from being someone personal fucktoy/punching bag and possible saved your life.

When you get a Chance Google SlaveMaster and read how he got the girls he got to come to him.

There are Risks in what we do some are worth it some are just good for getting you killed and placed in 50 gallon Drums.

Steel



Celeres -> RE: Trust via email (4/23/2008 11:46:10 PM)

Often times, if it sounds too good to be true... they usually are. The only way a "sub" should listen to someone "pawn" them off for someone else's pleasure is only after trust has been established. Who knows what this other person holds in store for you? A bag of goodies (STDs)?

I wouldn't trust this random person I've talked to once or twice... wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him. I agree with SteelofUtah--self-preservation. It doesn't matter what some self-acclaimed "dom" says. D/s like all kinds of relationships are a give-take relationship. Don't give him the power, and he has no control over you.

--Celeres



SailingBum -> RE: Trust via email (4/24/2008 2:15:50 AM)

comeon use your noodle.  It doesn't matter how new you are.  This makes sense???

BadOne



OldBastardly1 -> RE: Trust via email (4/24/2008 4:28:24 AM)

My bet would be that while he is Mr. Wonderful, Super_Dom, the trainer he has in mind isn't....and Mr. Perfect is really the trainer. A "bait & switch" game.

How old are you? Do you really need us to tell you how fucked up this is? Being new does not mean that you can't think. The basic rules of dating still apply. If you were vanilla and had met this great guy online....but he wanted to have somebody he knew fuck you, to make you ready for him, would you? If you would, I have a guy for you. LMAO

Like the BadOne said...."use your noodle!"



Sirandlil1 -> RE: Trust via email (4/24/2008 5:37:44 AM)

Do not allow being new to the lifestyle override common sense...listen to the advice given...there are so many red lights going off on this that people in airplanes going overhead can see them...



batshalom -> RE: Trust via email (4/24/2008 6:08:36 AM)

This is common for new subs, not wanting to appear "not subby enough." The best thing I can tell you is that this life is NO DIFFERENT than vanilla life in many respects. Use your head, trust only when it's earned, and if it sounds creepy, it probably is.



MadRabbit -> RE: Trust via email (4/24/2008 6:10:53 AM)

Train you to do what?

Juggle?

Shuffle cards?

Make a better martini?



cantilena -> RE: Trust via email (4/24/2008 6:11:23 AM)

Setting aside all the red-flags I might see relative to the other person he wants to involve, there's another point as well to consider.

In my observation, if someone makes another person jump through hoop X, Y and Z before being willing to validate themselves by phone or in person... I have to wonder if he or she is really who they say they are in the first place.

For example are you sure he's really available?  Sure, even "he" is a "he"?

Just food for thought... ymmv..




antipode -> RE: Trust via email (4/24/2008 6:18:37 AM)

You are unlikely to get raped by a biker gang (those are all pretty much geriatric anyway, you'd have to bring the Viagra). And it isn't about your "wasting both of our time". It is about your own standards. You've connected with someone who is not the least bit interested in meeting you. That means something is wrong - most likely, he is married or in a relationship, he is hiding something from you, and he is showing a complete lack of interest in you. Anytime you are in that type of situation, you walk - you can only get hurt. Why some of you are so desperate to hook up with cyberfreaks and people unwilling to prove they are real, is completely beyond me. Honestly.



laura2161 -> RE: Trust via email (4/24/2008 6:37:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: blondekitten

I am very new to this lifestyle...as in completely new...and have been corresponding with a dom in another city who wants me to commit to train with someone else that he chooses before he's willing to even meet me, talk to me on the phone, and so forth. He had some photos on the site, but has taken them down.  Am I a fool to be willing to engage with someone, no matter how amazing he seems under these circumstances?

Yes, that would be foolish.
quote:

I don't want to question inappropriately, and am interested if he is who he says he is, but am hesitant to put so much trust into someone I meet only online.
Ask ALL the questions you need to ask. Why would you put your trust in a stranger? And that's what he is, a stranger- A blank face behind his keyboard.

I looked at your profile. You are the same age as me. Don't let your good sense fly out the window simply because you are emailing with someone who says he is a dominant. He can say anything , He can pretend to be anything. Follow your instincts. You know this is not a good scenerio to put yourself in.

If you want to talk, drop me an email. Be well.



divi -> RE: Trust via email (4/24/2008 6:38:40 AM)

The whole thing sounds stupid to me



lauren0221 -> RE: Trust via email (4/24/2008 6:46:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: blondekitten

I just feel like this is a headline waiting to happen and don't want to be stupid. Help!


You answered your own question very well:)




Dnomyar -> RE: Trust via email (4/24/2008 7:30:07 AM)

stupid is as stupid does.



Sirandlil1 -> RE: Trust via email (4/24/2008 7:31:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Train you to do what?

Juggle?

Shuffle cards?

Make a better martini?


wow I never looked at it that way, perhaps we are all just seeing red flags when there are none...what if he wanted to have her trained  to make a better martini, while shuffling cards and juggling....that would be a worthwhile skill.....[:D]



kinkypuppy2 -> RE: Trust via email (4/24/2008 8:46:51 AM)

I suggest you get in contact with a local munch group and meet real people face-face. There are way to many warning signs here that you need to be aware of.
BAD idea...



MadRabbit -> RE: Trust via email (4/24/2008 9:48:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sirandlil1

wow I never looked at it that way, perhaps we are all just seeing red flags when there are none...what if he wanted to have her trained  to make a better martini, while shuffling cards and juggling....that would be a worthwhile skill.....[:D]


In my training program, they learn to do all that while sucking my cock.



derfrewop -> RE: Trust via email (4/24/2008 10:03:36 AM)

Would you cash a check from a person you don't really know and have never met to give to another you have never met?

The person you have been communicating with is the local "trainer" but he sure as hell is not the person you think you have been communicating with in faroffistan.

The only reason a sane Dominant would have another meet his potential sub first is simply to verify you are real. In a public place, most likely with the dom on a phone the whole time.

He is a trainer. He has taught you that you can be scammed by people appealing to your emotions. Learn from it.



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