newbie

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

newbie

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> newbie

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

newbie - 4/24/2008 12:47:28 PM

ozunleashed

Posts: 3
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline

i am new to this master setting. i am curious and want to learn the way of being a master. i would greatly appreciate if someone in that field can help me get on my feet on being a master. give me advice and such. thank you

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: newbie - 4/24/2008 12:50:25 PM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ozunleashed

i am new to this master setting. i am curious and want to learn the way of being a master. i would greatly appreciate if someone in that field can help me get on my feet on being a master. give me advice and such. thank you

This is a good group of people to which to ask SPECIFIC questions. Also, fortunately, there are a large selection of books which you can glance at to get a nice overview. I won't post a list but I'm sure someone will be here in a moment to do so

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to ozunleashed)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: newbie - 4/24/2008 2:17:00 PM

Wantstocontrolu

Posts: 127
Joined: 4/11/2008
Status: offline

Get involved with your local BDSM Community. Go to a munch ask wuestions. Internet searches probably will not work depending on your location.
BEST option is find a good Mentor with some references.

(in reply to ozunleashed)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: newbie - 4/24/2008 2:36:51 PM

derfrewop

Posts: 74
Joined: 5/10/2007
From: Vancouver
Status: offline

First, honestly answer to yourself why it is sane for you to want to be a Master. After all, most of society thinks you're nuts for wanting to control, hurt, manipulate and dominate somebody else. This answer includes honestly figuring out what things would be insane in your opinion. We call these "hard limits". This answer will tell you how you want to Dom. Next figure out why a person who wants you to do these things to them is sane. After all, most of society thinks a person wanting to be controlled, hurt, humiliated and dominated is nuts. Honestly answering this question will tell you who you are looking for and help you figure out what you need to know to actually achieve what you want.

All answers apply only to you and nobody else. Rest assured that everyone here will be certain that you are crazy to a greater or lesser extent. To stand on your own, for your own reasons, in your own way simply because you choose is the first step. Second is to have others choose to follow. For that to happen, it must make sense to everyone, yourself included.

Figure out the sense, the sanity and the rest will follow.

_____________________________

I only flog good girls. I don't reward bad behavior.

(in reply to Wantstocontrolu)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: newbie - 4/24/2008 3:41:05 PM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

You'd hafta start by examining your own motives. There's not really a lot to "learn" if you're talking about your role in your own personal relationship - that's for you and your partner to decide and define. Water always finds its own level - NO-ONE can teach you the need to be Master over your personal slave; that comes from within and you merely go where your needs drive you.

However, if you're looking to live the stereotypical power fantasy of strutting with your superior peers blah blah then you nned to go outside your personal relationships to pick up on the "accepted" traits, lingo and protocols.

So the question is, are you trying to impress others by talking the talk while walking the walking or merely get a handle on how to live your private life? While there's not a lot of outside advice for the latter, you'll need to get out and meet other lifestylers in order to "belong"....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to ozunleashed)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: newbie - 4/24/2008 8:51:00 PM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

Bend over, sweetie

(in reply to ozunleashed)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: newbie - 4/24/2008 9:09:29 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

A very important thing to think about is to not get nervous. Many new doms / sadist start off nervous with the idea of "Am I pleasing you?" to the sub. Who is it that's suppose to be pleasing/serving who here? While in the "pleasing" state of mine, you find yourself caught being Topped from the Bottom. However, being topped from the bottom is still not a bad way to start out for your first few scenes. Just realize that sooner or later, you're going to be in complete controll weither the sub likes it or not and they'll love you for it.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to ozunleashed)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: newbie - 4/26/2008 7:56:57 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

Keep the lines of communication open. Don't just listen to the words, but to the tone of voice, and watch for body communication. If your sub feels understood and appreciated then they will do almost anything for you, but simply demanding it from them is a very different dynamic. Remember that there can be a big difference between being a Dominant and simply being dominate. Any jerk can dominate; a true Dominant cares for more than just himself.

_____________________________

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: newbie - 4/27/2008 11:03:22 PM

ozunleashed

Posts: 3
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline

thank you so much. thats more information than i have recieved. i would like to make you my friend but it says your profile cant be found

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: newbie - 4/27/2008 11:57:33 PM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ozunleashed

thank you so much. thats more information than i have recieved. i would like to make you my friend but it says your profile cant be found

Hi,
Welcome to the forum. I have one question for you. Out of all the answers that you received, why is it that the one person you want to "be friends" with, is the one woman who posted a response? All these men, with the exception of one, offered you some very good advice, why not ask to be their friend?

Curious,

MoGa

Books I recommend:

Screw The Roses, Send Thorns
http://www.amazon.com/Screw-Roses-Send-Thorns-Sadomasochism/dp/0964596008/ref=cm_lmf_tit_2

The Loving Dominant (John Warren was one of the Dominants who responded to you)
http://www.amazon.com/Loving-Dominant-John-Warren/dp/1890159204/ref=cm_lmf_tit_3

The New Topping Book
http://www.amazon.com/New-Topping-Book-Dossie-Easton/dp/1890159360/ref=cm_lmf_tit_4

_____________________________

(in reply to ozunleashed)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: newbie - 4/28/2008 12:13:16 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Would it be really wrong for Me to say that some of this made Me laugh?

Seriously, My advice is two-fold. Get yourself out to the local community. There are plenty folks out there who can teach you a lot of things. Second, it sounds old fashioned, but you really can learn a lot from books. They can be a place to start.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: newbie - 4/28/2008 1:39:11 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Would it be really wrong for Me to say that some of this made Me laugh?

Seriously, My advice is two-fold. Get yourself out to the local community. There are plenty folks out there who can teach you a lot of things. Second, it sounds old fashioned, but you really can learn a lot from books. They can be a place to start.

I dont know...what part made you laugh? :-/

_____________________________

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: newbie - 4/28/2008 2:23:53 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

These:

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

This is a good group of people to which to ask SPECIFIC questions. Also, fortunately, there are a large selection of books which you can glance at to get a nice overview. I won't post a list but I'm sure someone will be here in a moment to do so

quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

Bend over, sweetie

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

Hi,
Welcome to the forum. I have one question for you. Out of all the answers that you received, why is it that the one person you want to "be friends" with, is the one woman who posted a response? All these men, with the exception of one, offered you some very good advice, why not ask to be their friend?

Curious,

MoGa

I have a weird sense of humor at 4:00 am.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: newbie - 4/28/2008 8:08:42 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Im with you MG. He did'nt ask me to be his friend.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 14