RE: How long is your consideration period? (Full Version)

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Floggings4You -> RE: How long is your consideration period? (4/25/2008 12:06:16 PM)

This is how it was between My submissive and Me. 
 
We 'considered', together, whether she wanted to wear My collar and whether I wanted to collar her, for about three weeks.  She's now worn My collar for almost three months. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I always find it interesting to see the different views on consideration.  They are so diverse.  I never thought it to be a big deal until I began to understand that some people use the idea of consideration unethically.

In any case, I was "under consideration" with my Master, but we were both considering each other and the situation.  It wasn't really a formal "under consideration" - there was no collar of consideration or anything like that.  The truth is, I didn't know if I wanted to belong to him - I was too concerned about committing myself even though I felt a very strong pull.  I wanted to fully know what I was getting myself into.  He had made it clear an ownership collar would not be given for at least 6 months after ownership was established, but that he did wish for ownership.  I was the one who wasn't ready for ownership.  And yet I had no desire to explore anything with anyone else either.  So I asked, "What does this make us?"  He said to think of myself as "under consideration" if it helps and I said OK. 

Having said that, I was "under consideration" (as was he, really) for 2 months before I realized he already owned me.  It wasn't until the following year that he decided I was ready for his collar.



ResidentSadist -> RE: How long is your consideration period? (4/25/2008 12:13:51 PM)

For me, if it doen't work out in 90 days, it's not going to.



masterdstar -> RE: How long is your consideration period? (4/25/2008 12:24:45 PM)

I don't use collars in this context; besides they were never used in the current context until the WWW.
There was no such thing as a collar of consideration. The only thing a collar was used for was a leash, hooking wrists to or locking down a hood.
I use a locking harness with dual plugs. A collar is just another piece of equipment to Me.

Enjoy your wonder-filled day



MKred23 -> RE: How long is your consideration period? (4/25/2008 3:25:47 PM)

To me the consideration period is like dating with a few differences.  With my first two there were conversations and then there were collars.  This is the second time I have used this distinction of a collar of consideration.  My reason is because both were or are new to the life style and community.  I would not collar and contract someone who doesn't know a Dom from a top.  So I started using that period of time to educate and for them to learn about the life style.  Then after they have a clue I would have a conversation about collaring them.  To do less I think would be unethical.

I know that we all continue to learn no matter if we have been in the life style for 10 years or 10 minutes.  It seams from this string that as with lots of things,  there are lots of opinions and it does not matter as long as it works for the people involved.

MK 




ownedgirlie -> RE: How long is your consideration period? (4/25/2008 4:02:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

What is it called in the vanilla world, when 2 people are seeing each other and there is a possibilty that a relationshipo might develop? Is it called a "pre-engagement"?  "pre-marriage"? "considering marriage"?
Why can't it simply be dating? Why must some BDSM'ers make it more dramatic & theatrical? Why make things so freaking complicated?

[sm=beatdeadhorse.gif]



It has nothing to do with dramatics (not for everyone, anyway).  My Master and I didn't "date" because neither of us wanted dating partners.  We didn't want to be boyfriend/girlfriend, and we didn't want to be lovers.  We wanted to be owner and property...Master and slave...Keeper and kept.  It wasn't the least bit complicated for us.

Not everyone does things the same way.  To turn your question around, why are you not OK with the way others conduct their relationships?



OldBastardly1 -> RE: How long is your consideration period? (4/25/2008 4:20:02 PM)

I am okay with the way other's conduct their lives. I enjoy a good laugh as much as anybody.



ownedgirlie -> RE: How long is your consideration period? (4/25/2008 4:31:29 PM)

Ah, ok.  So people who conduct themselves differently than you are amusing to you.  Cool!  [:D]



MasterDragon1963 -> RE: How long is your consideration period? (4/25/2008 4:35:16 PM)

I have had new Doms ask me this question, and can understand their excitement. The prospects of collaring and owning their first slave. I have also seen the vibrant joy in a slaves eyes with the thoughts of being owned and serving a Dom after searching so long to find one. In many cases I hear the word "want" on both sides. One can understand the many aspects and variables that orbit such a situation. Good points, bad habits, shared interests, and hidden flaws make up many dynamics. But one word I seldom see rise to the surface is "responsibility". Be it one taking another for fun adventures, or a life long deep relationship, one must understand the demands and responsibilities a Dom will face upon the path of owning another. Of course each Dom is different, and therefore their time of consideration shall vary also. I myself do not place a set time frame, just the fact that the consideration is taken seriously, that all efforts during that time will be taken to that end, on both sides, and when both reach the point of completely understanding the dynamics and expectations, and can take their positions honestly and completely. Then I would say your ready. Enter not into an illusion lightly for short is the flame of fantasy when confronted with the cold dark silence of reality, let us instead meditate in the shimmers of a new dawn, and seize the day of growth, each step taken soundly upon the stones of wisdom. But if I had to suggest a time frame, it would be 90 days minimum in real time if possible.

Master Dragon



OldBastardly1 -> RE: How long is your consideration period? (4/25/2008 4:52:21 PM)

Some are amusing, some are annoying. Which would you rather be?



Leatherist -> RE: How long is your consideration period? (4/25/2008 5:25:00 PM)

Till I see she can manage to go for a week without being a tard. [:D]



SirRober -> RE: How long is your consideration period? (4/25/2008 5:29:05 PM)

ONE year... my Slave started out living with me for the year and we slowly worked in to a full 24/7... Now she won't change any of it and is happier every day because of it.



OldBastardly1 -> RE: How long is your consideration period? (4/25/2008 5:56:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Till I see she can manage to go for a week without being a tard. [:D]

Excellent post. I actually made noise when I laughed.
[sm=mademyday.gif]



SimplyMichael -> RE: How long is your consideration period? (4/25/2008 5:58:56 PM)

I keep them  under a "collar of considering" as long as I can.  It is amazing what you can get some of these stupid women to do.  Once that runs out and I need more leverage, I drag out my "training collar" oh that one is a hoot, the things they think they need training in still give me and my buddies fits of laughter.  I am working on starting a rumor about a new collar, I am thinking about calling it a "transcendent collar" but I am still trying to figure out the legend around it, I am thinking of saying they originals were lost with Atlantis but not sure that wouldn't be over the top.

I have been with many women in the scene, some hot, some dedicated, some masochistic in the extreme.  In all that time I collared one woman and that collar went on her the night we met and lasted for over three years.  My next one will be my second and last I think.



MKred23 -> RE: How long is your consideration period? (4/25/2008 6:22:44 PM)

Can I quote that line?

Please do not contact me if ..... 

you can’t go a week without with out proving to be a tard.

Or if they have ever been called FINE.   Fragile, Insecure, Neurotic, or Emotionally unbalanced.

MK

(I have a daughter who is handicapped. Tards are not special enough to be retarded they were just tarded.)



Leatherist -> RE: How long is your consideration period? (4/25/2008 6:36:18 PM)

sure.

happiness is!



derfrewop -> RE: How long is your consideration period? (4/25/2008 6:36:55 PM)

quote:

I am working on starting a rumor about a new collar, I am thinking about calling it a "transcendent collar" but I am still trying to figure out the legend around it, I am thinking of saying they originals were lost with Atlantis but not sure that wouldn't be over the top.


I think handed down as an ancient mystical rite with lots of dark symbolism would keep the gullibility factor high. Trace it through the ancient secret society of every notable sadist in history and there you go.

Ah, the fun of a good mind fuck, it never grows old.





hopelessfool -> RE: How long is your consideration period? (4/25/2008 6:39:29 PM)

Personally I dont do consideration. I meet someone I learn about them they learn about me as friends first, when/if we want more I make it known I have one partner at a time and that I dont enter in to anything where you are with another partner in this way. If they agree thats it, where it goes is where it goes. I wear a collar to myself. It helps when out and about to make people not flirt on me to much. But I wear it with or with out a parnter, its my safety. What I have when I have it doesnt need a label to me. My partner to my friends that arnt in the life he would be my boyfriend, to my friends in the life he would be my Owner/Dom. To anyone else Hes Sir Bob of the Ewoks on Hunters Moon. Somone asking me to be under consideration  to them.. Id laugh at him. In fact I think I would fall over with my laughter. Either you want me, or you dont, you learn about me well before we even talk about anything involving a relationship together. Considering collaring me, is just a waste of time.

With that being said I wont take a collar from a person until I know I can be with them through all my various year moods, so it takes more then a year to offically collar the kitten. Weither I was yours from the day we met or not.



ownedgirlie -> RE: How long is your consideration period? (4/25/2008 6:58:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

Some are amusing, some are annoying. Which would you rather be?


Ha.  I have no preference. I know what I am to the people in my world, so all is well. [:)]



SimplyMichael -> RE: How long is your consideration period? (4/25/2008 7:05:15 PM)

quote:

To anyone else Hes Sir Bob of the Ewoks on Hunters Moon. Somone asking me to be under consideration  to them.. Id laugh at him. In fact I think I would fall over with my laughter.


Yeah, I guess we all find things to laugh at.



MASTERat21UK -> RE: How long is your consideration period? (4/25/2008 11:19:33 PM)

lol



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