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how far is too far? - 4/24/2008 4:35:38 PM

meandmymistress

Posts: 19
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline

I really need some input from everyone please.

As a Mistress, I know a slave/sub is for my pleasure and my sub/slave knows that as well. He has expressed in the past that he does not want to make love/fuck whatever you want to call it (for reasons I'm unaware of) BUT he knows that I do. He has indicated to me that he is TOTALLY mine to do with as I please...whatever I want...even having sex with him against his will.

Does this seem wrong or going to far to anyone out there?

Thanks everyone!

Post #: 1

RE: how far is too far? - 4/24/2008 4:40:08 PM

DianeB

Posts: 166
Joined: 1/30/2006
Status: offline

You are the Femdom right? Make him do it.

Diane

(in reply to meandmymistress)

Post #: 2

RE: how far is too far? - 4/24/2008 4:45:05 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

I'd ask if he's asexual or has a low libido... or if he just has a fantasy/kink about being "made" to have sex?

And then you have to ask yourself if either of these are situations or interests you want to be part of.

If so, have fun and/or try to see if the low libido is just his natural state or if their is a medical concern.

If not, I'd reconsider the relationship.

Do what's right for you in this.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to meandmymistress)

Post #: 3

RE: how far is too far? - 4/24/2008 4:48:47 PM

meandmymistress

Posts: 19
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline

Thanks!

My gut feeling is to do it. I believe he would want to do this but, being a doctor and having seen alot of std's, he is extremely worried about health safety...he's also married which, I believe, makes him want to be extra careful.

(in reply to RumpusParable)

Post #: 4

RE: how far is too far? - 4/24/2008 4:53:59 PM

DianeB

Posts: 166
Joined: 1/30/2006
Status: offline

You did not say anything about him being married....

Diane

(in reply to meandmymistress)

Post #: 5

RE: how far is too far? - 4/24/2008 4:57:20 PM

meandmymistress

Posts: 19
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline

Diane,

Does that change something here then? He has had sex with another "friend" in the past - that's what he told me when we first met.

He has given me the power to do anything to him...he always says that pleasing me makes him happy...he loves being owned by me...

(in reply to DianeB)

Post #: 6

RE: how far is too far? - 4/24/2008 4:58:48 PM

meandmymistress

Posts: 19
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline

I think I'm tryin to convince myself that it is ok to make him do it...that would really please me...

(in reply to meandmymistress)

Post #: 7

RE: how far is too far? - 4/24/2008 4:59:33 PM

DianeB

Posts: 166
Joined: 1/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: meandmymistress

Diane,

Does that change something here then? He has had sex with another "friend" in the past - that's what he told me when we first met.

He has given me the power to do anything to him...he always says that pleasing me makes him happy...he loves being owned by me...

I don't mess with married subs/men...

Diane

(in reply to meandmymistress)

Post #: 8

RE: how far is too far? - 4/24/2008 5:01:01 PM

atursvcMaam

Posts: 1195
Joined: 5/10/2004
Status: offline

i am trying to remember the expression that this reminds me of. i think that it is "plausible deniability". if for any reason things do not go as planned, it was not his fault.

_____________________________

live hard, die young and leave a good looking corpse when you die.
Love ya, but, when the zombies start chasing us, i am tripping you.
The glass is always full, the question is, "with what?"

(in reply to DianeB)

Post #: 9

RE: how far is too far? - 4/24/2008 5:03:09 PM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

Is it because having sex is against his basic relationship agreement with his wife?
Or is he cheating, and maybe feels it is okay as long as he does not have sex, or that, if he got caught, he could explain it to her, as long as he could say there was no sex?
In order to make this decision for him, you really have to find out what is going on with him.
assuming it will please him is not enough. find out the why's and wherefores, so you can take care of your property properly.

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to DianeB)

Post #: 10

RE: how far is too far? - 4/24/2008 5:17:48 PM

meandmymistress

Posts: 19
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline

Thanks tsatske. I'll try and get to the bottom of this before I do anything I may regret.

(in reply to tsatske)

Post #: 11

RE: how far is too far? - 4/24/2008 5:31:05 PM

ShaktiSama

Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: meandmymistress
He has indicated to me that he is TOTALLY mine to do with as I please...whatever I want...even having sex with him against his will.

Does this seem wrong or going to far to anyone out there?

The issue for me would be less of "going too far" and more of turning me off. A man who genuinely does not want to have sex with me--and by this I mean he really doesn't want to, not that he has a fantasy that makes him very excited about me forcing him somehow--is a big turn-off. And obviously, a guy like this would be highly incompatble with me, to the point that attempting a long term thing would be useless.

I like me some sex. Willing, eager, mutually satisfying sex. Not the kind where one party lies back and thinks of England.

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to meandmymistress)

Post #: 12

RE: how far is too far? - 4/24/2008 5:33:21 PM

meandmymistress

Posts: 19
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline

You are absolutely right shaktisama! I love being the dominant but want my slave/sub to want me in that way as well.

(in reply to ShaktiSama)

Post #: 13

RE: how far is too far? - 4/24/2008 5:47:48 PM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

If he is truly submissive then he should answer your direct question about why he has no interest in sexaul relations. You have a right to know that in order to be the best Mistress possible. You can handle it graciously if you are afraid it may be a touchy subject.

I am a switch. I preferred not to have sexaul relations with the majority of my subs. As a slave I thought that I was to offer my body for use, do my best to participate, but I had a hard time getting past the idea that I felt like I was not to concentrate at all on my own pleasure. My Master never told me this; it was all internal. He had to explain to me that He gets more pleasure if I truly enjoy the act and orgasm, while I was feeling that I may lose myself in pleasure momentarily and not be able to concentrate on Him. This could be another possibility of why your sub is holding back. He may think that it will detract from him pleasing you.

Some people draw a line between penetration and other sexual acts. Maybe he would enjoy pleasing you orally, or with a toy. If he is married this might be a guilt free way for him. There are so many possibilities if you can just get to the core of his objections.

_____________________________

(in reply to meandmymistress)

Post #: 14

RE: how far is too far? - 4/24/2008 6:32:23 PM

blackpearl81

Posts: 506
Joined: 8/30/2005
From: Home of the Yankees
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: meandmymistress

Diane,

Does that change something here then? He has had sex with another "friend" in the past - that's what he told me when we first met.

He has given me the power to do anything to him...he always says that pleasing me makes him happy...he loves being owned by me...

I don't mean any disrespect by my reply, but here it goes..

If he's married, and is out boinking another woman, thats infidelity.. The only exception to this, is if the wife knows & is ok with it.

Personally, to me, It doesn't matter if its in a BDSM relationship or not. Maybe him being faithful to his wife is the reason he doesn't want to have sex?

Does his wife know that You own him?

Dumb question, but valid nonetheless:
Is she OK with him exploring this area of himself?

Who knows, you may luck out, and find out that his wife may approve of it.

You never know.

Best of luck.

_____________________________

~ Karma. Being a motherfucker since 1981 ~

Ms. Pacman was the greatest prostitute that ever lived. For 25 cents, that bitch swallowed balls 'till she died.

(in reply to meandmymistress)

Post #: 15

RE: how far is too far? - 4/24/2008 7:40:54 PM

MladyHathor

Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

Whenever its: " i will serve you but..."----its the butt I see when he is directed to the door.

_____________________________

The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.

(in reply to meandmymistress)

Post #: 16

RE: how far is too far? - 4/24/2008 7:46:39 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

OP, with the married angle, I'd definitely look over what his married situation is in this as others have said.

If his wife doesn't know or wouldn't approve of his having sex with you, his telling you that he will only do it if he is "forced" is likely both a manner of manipulating you *and* letting him put all blame/responsibility for his cheating on you in his mind.

Neither of which would I find acceptable, personally; I don't like anyone trying to manipulate me and I don't care for adults who try to pass on their personal responsibility.

Find out what's up.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 17

RE: how far is too far? - 4/24/2008 7:52:46 PM

HardToTame

Posts: 205
Joined: 3/30/2008
Status: offline

Initially, my response would of been "FUCK HIM UNTIL IT HURTS!" because lets face it, every mans penis is screaming for it no matter how much he denies it. .... But if he's married. Then first of all he shouldn't be doing the whole, BDSM thing I reckon. I wouldn't do it with anyone other than my girlfriend. On the same token, I wouldn't have sex with anyone other than her. Theres been times when it's been INCREDIBLY tempting. Especially because, that's what Mistresses do, they sought of, tempt you to give them what THEY want. So, to reject that and stay faithful, might be a shot to YOUR confidence but if he's a man he should stay faithful, otherwise, he's just a bitch. You didn't get a sub, you got a bitch. A pussy who can't stand up and be strong for a woman he VOWED under GOD to be faithful to. I get the impression if he was on a battlefield he'd be the first to surrender. I think if he wants to fuck up his marrige let him, but if I were you I'd cut his collar because then it will be you responsible for ending if it happens because you KNOW he was married and still continued to play out his little fantasies.

Sorry maam, but I think it should be his wife spanking him, not you.

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 18

RE: how far is too far? - 4/24/2008 7:57:08 PM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DianeB

You are the Femdom right? Make him do it.

Diane

yea, figures you'ld say that.

Not everyone here is without a concions.
Some actually respect a sub and their limits.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to DianeB)

Post #: 19

RE: how far is too far? - 4/24/2008 8:23:03 PM

LaMistressa

Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: meandmymistress

I really need some input from everyone please.

As a Mistress, I know a slave/sub is for my pleasure and my sub/slave knows that as well. He has expressed in the past that he does not want to make love/fuck whatever you want to call it (for reasons I'm unaware of) BUT he knows that I do. He has indicated to me that he is TOTALLY mine to do with as I please...whatever I want...even having sex with him against his will.

Does this seem wrong or going to far to anyone out there?

Thanks everyone!

"Oh, no Mistress! Whatever you do, puh-LEEZE don't throw me in that briar patch!"

The married guys, they crack me up.

(in reply to meandmymistress)

Post #: 20

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