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im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 3:29:18 AM   
conatus


Posts: 5
Joined: 4/22/2008
Status: offline 		well as nice as it can be sometimes to live at home with parents it tends to make ones kinkster lifestyle difficult.  over the last day or so ive had the ambition to tell my mom about my kinks,  i just dont know how to go about it.  before i put a lock on my bedroom door i know she snooped and saw/found things that would hit towards some of my kinks.  i just dont know how far her knolage goes.  i dont realy want to share every detail, but i want enough so she is not constatly wondering ( and snooping more).   im sure im not the only one who has gone through this,  i would like to know how to go about it and how others reacted.
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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 3:42:45 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		Do you pay rent?If so, set up an 'agreement' that you are a tenant with tenant privileges (privacy). You must keep up your end of things, clean room and any set chores. If you don't pay rent then all I can say is that you live under someone elses roof and haven't much say in things.

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(in reply to conatus)
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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 3:51:01 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Camille is right.
 
If you think she can handle the knowledge, then tell her. You seem unsure of that though. You might make her even more suspicious, and that being her  home, would be her right. I'd cut the lock off the door, if it were me.

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 5:19:46 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Just be considerate of your parents for another year or two, and keep your private life private, and practice your kinks out of the home, until you are out on your own.  It's still their home and they're letting you live there, I assume rent-free. 

I don't agree with your mom for snooping around your room.  Older children deserve a reasonable amount of privacy.  If that becomes excessive, and a mature and polite talk doesn't help, it might be time to hook up with a friend or two and get your own place. 

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 7:15:56 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Just a word of advice from the mother of adult children.

If either of my kids had dared put a lock on their bedroom doors without my express permission they would have lost their door. Among other things.

It is your mother's house, unless you are the one on the mortgage/rental agreement.

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 8:30:19 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

If either of my kids had dared put a lock on their bedroom doors without my express permission they would have lost their door. Among other things.


Ditto


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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 8:33:49 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Live by house rules or move out.

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 8:35:56 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		I'm still squirming with the thought of telling my mother about my sex life...the fear is that she'll tell me about hers and I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW!!  EVER!!!


(in reply to ownedgirlie)
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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 9:01:39 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		You might want to reconsider that idea also.

Not knowing your mother personally, obviously I don't know her values. However, take into consideration that
A. she might not WANT to know....or
B. once you tell her, she may forbid you to participate in said activities in her house.....then, if she caught you
C. forbid you to "entertain" guests in her home.........or
D. you might end up moving out....quickly

Just a few things to ponder...

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to myotherself)
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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 9:26:12 AM   
TickledOff


Posts: 10
Joined: 4/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

I'm still squirming with the thought of telling my mother about my sex life...the fear is that she'll tell me about hers and I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW!!  EVER!!!



When my mom gave me "the talk" she told me the story of my own conception. Put me off sex (and cake icing) for years. -shudders-

to the OP:
If you had the kind of relationship with your parents where they wouldn't be weirded out by knowing about your sex life, you would have already told them. Your best bet is probably to hide any "evidence" somewhere where it shouldn't be found, and have a discussion about privacy to prevent any snooping.

(in reply to myotherself)
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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 9:31:36 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		i would not tell my parents about my personal life. I also would not put a lock on the door. What i would do is to invest in a large trunk with a lock.

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 9:36:21 AM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		your parents wont care unless you tell them.

mommy... i think im gay
mommy....i want a sex change

but perhaps they might think you are crazy considering what is done in bdsm.  to most vanilla people we are freakin nut cases. 



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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 9:39:59 AM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		when i was 19 i lived at home after college for a year or so...i had a locking cedar chest, that is where my toys and my porn went.  my parents thought i had my old yearbooks and things in it.  just because you live with them doesnt' mean they have to know everything about you.  find a place for your "stuff" and respect the house rules until you can get out on your own.

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 9:45:05 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		I got this creepy kind of feeling that you are secretly hoping that she will be your domme.


"Mom, I've got to tell you something, I have been so bad....I'm a dirty kinky sub....Punish me, hit me, make me take out the garbage and clean up my room."

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 9:53:37 AM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I got this creepy kind of feeling that you are secretly hoping that she will be your domme.


"Mom, I've got to tell you something, I have been so bad....I'm a dirty kinky sub....Punish me, hit me, make me take out the garbage and clean up my room."


just like stewie the baby from family guy when mom hit him for the first time..he was all horny and shit.


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I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
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SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 11:31:49 AM   
Zensee


Posts: 1564
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		Sorry moms of adult kids living at home, one's bedroom is private space and house rules don't count for crap when it comes to invasions of privacy IMHO. Stay out of other people's rooms.

If you think your kid is doing something illegal or dangerous to the household, confront them openly but this "I have the right to enter your room and snoop whenever the mood takes me" is just bullshit.

OP - don't tell mom. Get a locking chest for your private stuff. Tell mom not to snoop. Rig your door so you can tell if she does. Leave if she continuse to interfere.


Z.

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 11:33:34 AM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: conatus

well as nice as it can be sometimes to live at home with parents it tends to make ones kinkster lifestyle difficult.  over the last day or so ive had the ambition to tell my mom about my kinks,  i just dont know how to go about it.  before i put a lock on my bedroom door i know she snooped and saw/found things that would hit towards some of my kinks.  i just dont know how far her knolage goes.  i dont realy want to share every detail, but i want enough so she is not constatly wondering ( and snooping more).   im sure im not the only one who has gone through this,  i would like to know how to go about it and how others reacted.


You're 20 and live at home?
Why would you want to do something like that?
Join the Navy and see the world.

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 11:36:52 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Get a suitcase that has zippers on both ends, thrift shop won't cost much.
Get a lock at the hardware store, lock the suitcase shut and stick it up on the shelf in the closet, under your shoes, under the bed.

And if you kept your room clean she wouldn't go in there. I don't snoop through my kids' stuff. But I do go searching for glasses, plates, silverware etc. If they cleaned up, I wouldn't have to go in.

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 11:48:23 AM   
PanthersMom


Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline 		Zensee, you're lucky you're not my kid, lol.  my house, my rules, no locked doors and if you can't live with my rules, there is the door.  as owner of the house i have the right to inspect, but not to snoop.  you want something kept private, put it away.
PM

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 12:16:29 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Here's a shock to some of you....the person who pays the mortgage or has the title is the decider!

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to PanthersMom)
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