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Responses - 10/13/2005 4:46:18 PM   
Guildenstern


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		I seem to have a tough time getting a response when I introduce myself to subs. I am myself, I usually ask them questions about the written portion of their profile, I dont command, mostly because I dont have the right, as they have not given me submission. While I am a Dominant, I am not an asshole (most of the time) I am somewhat offended by a lack of any response. I can deal with someone saying "not intrested" but nothing is somewhat rude. I realize that the subs are getting hit with many emails, and perhaps I need to be more patient, but I see that they read my mail, some just dont respond. Any thoughts?




< Message edited by Guildenstern -- 10/14/2005 8:17:46 AM >

_____________________________

Sweet are the uses of adversity, which, like a toad, though ugly and venomous, wears yet a precious jewel in its head.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Responses - 10/13/2005 4:50:27 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Chicks get loads of emails a day, if they respond in ANY way, they get hounded like mad, so sometimes a non-response is the best response.

This is online, it doesn't take much to send an email so you haven't lost much if you don't get a response.

Personally for me I treat email like phone calls. Just because someone randomly chooses to dial up my number in no way obligates me to answer the phone or respond to them.

Just accept the culture for what it is and be yourself...and don't get killed.

As a PS- your profile could use work, it's full of nothing but trite bdsm cliches and has hardly anything unique about yourself. Plus you're young, unfortunately in the scene that's a HUGE strike against you.

Take heart though, there are good groups in GA just for youngsters.

< Message edited by EmeraldSlave2 -- 10/13/2005 4:52:38 PM >

(in reply to Guildenstern)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Responses - 10/13/2005 4:53:53 PM   
Guildenstern


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks for the help, I think that I will put some stuff about me in there. :)


_____________________________

Sweet are the uses of adversity, which, like a toad, though ugly and venomous, wears yet a precious jewel in its head.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Responses - 10/13/2005 5:14:30 PM   
Guildenstern


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		Did update it.
BA. in philosophy? that is what I am studying.

see my profile for more :)

_____________________________

Sweet are the uses of adversity, which, like a toad, though ugly and venomous, wears yet a precious jewel in its head.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Responses - 10/13/2005 6:56:58 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		hmm, I posted your answer in ask a submissive slave forum.
Are you Bi Polar, Bi curious, or just Bi the way.....not that smart?

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to Guildenstern)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Responses - 10/13/2005 7:19:14 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Guildenstern:
quote:

I am somewhat offended by a lack of any response. I can deal with someone saying "not intrested" but nothing is somewhat rude.


Well then be offended, if you must. No one is obligated to answer a message you send them. It's their choice whom to respond to, if at all.


ps I like the Shakespeare reference

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Responses - 10/13/2005 7:23:40 PM   
Elegant


Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline 		After reading your profile I have a serious question:

Are you limiting your search to online only? You live in Metro Atlanta and there are many places you can go in person to meet new fetish friends: dungeon 1763, at least 5 area dinner meet-n-greet munches, lifestyle events, bar nights, Masquerade, etc.

There are also many metro local elists to get to know locals.

It might be worth trying.

_____________________________

Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Responses - 10/13/2005 7:40:27 PM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		Sorry, that's just the way it is. I had the exact same problem and so has every other guy here. Suck it up and keep writing. At some point someone will answer. In the meantime just enjoy the 'boards' here.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to Guildenstern)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Responses - 10/13/2005 7:51:43 PM   
anopheles


Posts: 241
Joined: 6/23/2005
Status: offline 		Being involved in the community here, if you are looking for a relationship in the online CollarMe community is your best bet. There is no reason to give up. Women on the internet get bombarded with emails and such, so taking it personal is not going to get you anywhere. They just don't have the time to seperate the wheat from the chaff. If you post your ideas, thoughts, and beliefs, and respond to those that share similar beliefs as yours, you have a much better chance of making a connection with someone.

--Anopheles

_____________________________

You've got me so high, my shoes are scraping the sky -- for my Luvdragon

(in reply to OscarHargraves)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Responses - 10/13/2005 8:11:18 PM   
JustaTop


Posts: 511
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline 		Not having expectations is the best expectation online.

Then you may be pleasantly surprised by a response-rather than upset at none.

(in reply to Guildenstern)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Responses - 10/13/2005 9:45:16 PM   
xanderzzz


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/21/2005
Status: offline 		You just have to be patient and realistic.

Most woman are not going to respond even if it is a simple "no thank you". They are bombarded by messages and even if your message and profile show a real and sincere person, you will rarely get a response.

Be patient and do not get frustrated and get use to no responses.

I think men and woman have very different experiences on these sites. Women can write one poor sentance for their profile and get a lot of messages daily. Men no matter what they put in their profile rarely get browsed by women and even less get a message. I think these two distinct differences help form our attitudes and why we see this topic often in message boards.


(in reply to JustaTop)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Responses - 10/14/2005 12:16:05 AM   
girl4you2


Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Guildenstern
I seem to have a tough time getting a response when I introduce myself to subs. I am myself, I usually ask them questions about the written portion of their profile, I dont command, mostly because I dont have the right, as they have not given me submission. While I am a Dominant, I am not an asshole (most of the time) I am somewhat offended by a lack of any response. I can deal with someone saying "not intrested" but nothing is somewhat rude. I realize that the subs are getting hit with many emails, and perhaps I need to be more patient, but I see that they read my mail, some just dont respond. Any thoughts?

sometimes women get upwards of 100 emails a day. if you add life into the picture, that doesn't leave much time to sleep and answer all emails. sometimes it takes a day or a few to answer them, and sometimes they just get so overwhelming that even if one wishes to be polite and answer them all, it's just not feasible. perhaps you might be looking for too much too fast. sometimes patience is more than a virtue.

(in reply to Guildenstern)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Responses - 10/14/2005 5:23:52 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I don't know how you feel about posting a pic. But it will likely get you many more hits. It's something to consider.

(in reply to Guildenstern)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Responses - 10/14/2005 6:05:21 AM   
thinkpad999


Posts: 9
Joined: 4/21/2004
Status: offline 		.

< Message edited by thinkpad999 -- 10/14/2005 6:07:21 AM >

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Responses - 10/14/2005 6:07:54 AM   
thinkpad999


Posts: 9
Joined: 4/21/2004
Status: offline 		I personally don't feel you should be offended if no reply is given. They may just be too busy to answer them all. And I do think posting exactly where you work in your profile may not be a very good idea.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Responses - 10/14/2005 7:26:50 AM   
Guildenstern


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		Too true, I suppose that I should have asked if others were having the same. As that seems to be the case, and I realized that the subs/slaves etc online must get quite alot of emails I am not going to let it bother me.

Amusingly enough, after I posted that, I got several very quick responses from some subs/slaves that I contacted.



_____________________________

Sweet are the uses of adversity, which, like a toad, though ugly and venomous, wears yet a precious jewel in its head.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Responses - 10/14/2005 7:31:49 AM   
Guildenstern


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant

After reading your profile I have a serious question:

Are you limiting your search to online only? You live in Metro Atlanta and there are many places you can go in person to meet new fetish friends: dungeon 1763, at least 5 area dinner meet-n-greet munches, lifestyle events, bar nights, Masquerade, etc.

There are also many metro local elists to get to know locals.

It might be worth trying.


Actually I live about two hours+ outside of the metro area, (not including traffic) I am pretty certain that I am going to DomCon in atl next month, barring any unforseen problems (or highpaying gigs). Havent found anything within a ~30 minute drive. Havent found any local metro elists, do you have a website or location?


_____________________________

Sweet are the uses of adversity, which, like a toad, though ugly and venomous, wears yet a precious jewel in its head.

(in reply to Elegant)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Responses - 10/14/2005 7:33:02 AM   
Guildenstern


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thinkpad999

I personally don't feel you should be offended if no reply is given. They may just be too busy to answer them all. And I do think posting exactly where you work in your profile may not be a very good idea.



Perhaps, I will think about removing the specific university that I work for.

< Message edited by Guildenstern -- 10/14/2005 7:43:30 AM >

_____________________________

Sweet are the uses of adversity, which, like a toad, though ugly and venomous, wears yet a precious jewel in its head.

(in reply to thinkpad999)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Responses - 10/14/2005 8:07:08 AM   
Elegant


Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Guildenstern
Actually I live about two hours+ outside of the metro area, (not including traffic) I am pretty certain that I am going to DomCon in atl next month, barring any unforseen problems (or highpaying gigs). Havent found anything within a ~30 minute drive. Havent found any local metro elists, do you have a website or location?



Hope it's OK if I send this info to you in your messages...


_____________________________

Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

(in reply to Guildenstern)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Responses - 10/14/2005 8:08:23 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Guildenstern
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gotten plenty of responses about this topic, Thanks to all for the advice and such.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why did you delete your post? Other people coming after you might find it beneficial, or you might get even better new ideas.

(in reply to Guildenstern)
Profile   Post #: 20
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